I’d never seen her look anything other than perfect.
The look of raw fear and happiness, plain as day on her face, caused my heart to clench in my chest.
“Oh, Brock, I’m so glad you’re okay,” she said, rushing to my side. I could tell she wanted to hug me, but was afraid that she’d hurt me, so instead she grabbed my hand and held it firmly in hers.
“Thanks,” I replied, my resolve beginning to crack at the sight of her. I steeled myself from emotion as much as I could, and figured I needed to say what I needed to before I passed out. First, I allowed myself a minute to look her over, take comfort in her concern, and commit her beautiful face to memory. I closed my eyes, then took a deep breath and said, “Look, Victoria, shit’s really complicated right now, and with everything that’s happened, I really need to focus on my brothers right now.”
Victoria nodded absently, her eyes roaming my body from head to toe, as if she were looking for some injury that the doctors hadn’t found. “Of course,” she muttered.
“Victoria,” I said sharper than I intended, causing her to bring her wide eyes to my face. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt angry, scared, and worried at what the future was going to bring. I wasn’t the same man that she’d been falling for over the past few weeks. “Listen to what I’m saying. I need to focus on my recovery, and on my brothers right now. I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I can’t worry about you and your feelings right now.”
Her look of surprise turned to hurt, and I realized that was the second time tonight that I’d put that look on her face. I hated it, but I knew I needed to keep going and get this done.
“Your life revolves around you, and your wants and needs, and that’s great, but I can’t deal with that right now. I need to be able to focus on my family right now, and I don’t have the time to worry about how you’re holding up … You get me? It was fine before, but this changes things, and I just can’t put forth the effort right now to deal with it.” I added a chuckle for effect, mentally berating myself for being such an ass.
Victoria’s spine stiffened, and her face went blank. I watched as her hand went up to smooth her hair down, and pull the blanket tighter around her shoulders.
“Are you saying I’m too selfish to be there to help you and your brothers in your time of need? That I’m too high maintenance for you handle?” Her tone was clipped, and obviously pissed, but I could also hear the pain she was trying so hard to mask.
She got it though, so I drove the knife in deeper and replied, “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
Victoria didn’t say anything else, just turned on her heel and walked away, her shoes flip-flopping their way down the hall.
“Bye, Tori,” I whispered, closing my eyes again and willing the meds to take me away from this shitty day.
Chapter 22 ~ Victoria
It had been a couple days since Brock had so unceremoniously kicked me out of his hospital room, and out of his life. To say it had come as a complete and utter shock would be an understatement.
I hadn’t left my apartment since I’d ran in that night, crying and exhausted. I hadn’t answered my phone, or my door, either. I was in a state of numbness, and I didn’t know how to get out.
I still got up every day, showered, did my hair and makeup, and dressed for the day … As if I was actually going to go somewhere. I didn’t. I sat on my couch, chaise, or bed, and read. I must have read ten books already, cover to cover, losing myself in different worlds, so I wouldn’t have to face the reality of mine.
I was lounging on my chaise reading my latest book, a paranormal romance about a pack of brothers who were werewolves, when I heard a key in my lock. I looked up, curious, but not really caring, to see Abigail walk through the door, two shopping bags in her hands.
“I knew it,” she said when her eyes surveyed the room and landed on me.
“What?” I asked, putting my book down, without trying to hide my annoyance at her intrusion.
“You … sitting there, looking as perfect as always, in your immaculate living room, lounging and reading like you don’t have a care in the world.”
“So…” I wasn’t getting her point.
“You just had your heart broken, Brock was a total douche, and you look like you’re ready for Sunday brunch. It’s not healthy,” Abigail said in a huff, putting the bags down beside me. “I’m here to help you process what happened, so you can move forward.”
“Process it how?” I asked, unsure I wanted to know the answer. With Abigail, it could be anything.
“First, put these on.” She pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt that said brunettes do it better. “You can’t have a pity party and man bash looking like that.”
“I don’t want to have a pity party,” I argued.
“Victoria … you do. Now put those on and I will get everything else set up,” Abigail countered. I watched as she pulled out Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill C.D., the movie The Way We Were, a bottle of wine, a box of peanut M&M’s, a bag of buttery popcorn, a pint of Chunky Monkey Ice Cream, and a box of tissue.
“What’s all that?” I asked, still not moving.
Abigail sighed, then picked up the C.D. in one hand, and the movie in the other.
“Every woman’s must-have, bad-ass, chick anthems, and proof that no matter how hot or perfect they may seem, all guys are assholes when it comes down to it.” Then she pointed to the rest. “And the junk food you need to consume while crying, and screaming about, said hot assholes.”
Then she looked pointedly to the sweats in my hand, then back at my face. I figured it would be easier to play along than to try and wrestle her out of my condo. The sweats were cozy, and the T-shirt totally soft, so I added some big fluffy socks to the outfit and walked back out to find my sister.
She had the popcorn popped, wine poured, and movie ready to begin.
I sat down on the couch. Abigail came over, picked up my legs, and turned me so my legs were laying up on the cushions. Then she covered me with a blanket, shoved her hands in my hair and messed it up, and handed me the box of tissues.
“You’re going to need these.”
And she was right. By the end of the movie I was a sobbing mess. The popcorn, M&M’s, and Chunky Monkey had been consumed, and I was cursing Robert Redford for being so selfish.
Abigail turned off the TV and turned to me.
“Are you ready to talk about Brock?” she asked.
My emotions were still so close to the surface that, surprisingly, I was. “He basically said I was too high maintenance and selfish to be able to help him through this. He’d just been in an accident, and I was so happy that he was okay. I was so scared, Abby, then so happy, and he caught me off-guard. I wanted to be there for him, and Brady and Brendan, and he didn’t want me. No one ever wants me.”
“First of all, that’s not true,” Abigail began, but I was on a roll, now that the damn had broken, so I wasn’t done.
“It is. They may like the way I look, and what I can do for them, but when it comes down to it, guys never think I’m worth the effort. I’m too much of a bitch.”
“Stop,” Abigail said, her voice firmer than I’d ever heard it, causing me to blink at her. “You’re starting to piss me off. We’re supposed to be bashing Brock, not you. You’re the whole package, Victoria. Beautiful, smart, and talented, with a kind and loyal heart. You know what you want, and sometimes guys just can’t handle that level of confidence.”
“But I thought Brock was different. He’s the opposite of any guy I’ve ever dated. He treated me like a woman, not like I was fragile. He got me to do things I never thought I would, and if I didn’t like something, then we didn’t do it. Did I ever tell you about the time he gave me a ride on his motorcycle?”
“Yeah, honey, and you’re right, Brock is different than the other guys you’ve dated. And although we’re here to have a little fun and work out your hurt, let me just say this one thing…” I nodded at her ser
ious expression, and she continued. “This situation with Brock is extreme. His parents died in a freak accident, then he was in a freak accident. His brothers, who are almost like his sons, were distraught, and the doctors told him there is a chance that he won’t walk again. It’s a totally fucked-up situation, so you have to understand that Brock wasn’t himself. I know that he hurt you by shutting you out, but when you’re ready, I want you to try and see that.”
“But…” I began, not wanting to listen to reason.
Abigail shook her head and stood, holding her hand out to me.
“No, just put a pin in it and think about it later, okay? Now, let’s commence with part two of the night. Alanis, and lot’s of wine.”
I took her hand as she turned on the C.D. When the first licks of guitar began, we both grinned, then began dancing madly around the room. By the time the C.D. was over, we’d consumed the bottle of wine she’d brought, as well as another.
We collapsed on the sofa, sweating and tired from dancing, and a bit fuzzy from the wine. I threw my hand out, catching hers and squeezing it tightly. I turned my head to look at her and said, “Thanks, Abigail. This was great.”
“Well, I am the expert on working through a broken heart, and I knew you’d be doing it all wrong,” she responded with a laugh, then her face turned serious. “You’re welcome. Now I want you to sleep it off, then wake up tomorrow and put this shit away. No more hiding in here. You’ve got a job now, so I’m sure you can stay busy and get back on track.”
I nodded, as my mind raced to figure out what I needed to do.
“I’ll call Gwen in the morning, have her meet me at O’Malley’s to finish up. She said she’d bring her camera and help me build a portfolio. Once I have that, I can start looking for more work.”
“Sounds like a good start,” Abigail said with a smile. “You want me to stay?”
“Yeah,” I replied softly.
We got up and went to the bedroom, pulling back the covers to crawl inside my bed.
“Think about what I said, okay?” she said as she curled in behind me. “And, Victoria?”
“Yeah?”
“I told you you’d never be like mom.”
I hugged her to me, feeling a little drunk, and better than I had in days.
“I love you, Abby.”
“I love you too, sis.”
Chapter 23 ~ Brock
I finally understood the expression, an emotional roller coaster.
I’d gone from fear to anger, relief to happiness, and pain to frustration.
The paralysis had been temporary. The afternoon that I woke up from a nap and realized that I could feel a tingle in my right foot, had been an emotional day. My brothers’ relief had been palpable, as had my own.
Then the hard part began. When the paralysis wore off, the pain started to come through. Not wanting to become too dependent on the medication that I’d already been taking too much of, I began to limit the pills, only taking them when the pain became too much.
Being in the hospital drove me crazy, so I left at the first possible chance. The doctors didn’t like it, but they couldn’t make me stay. And although I had to go there almost daily once physical therapy began, it was worth it to spend my nights in the comfort of my own home.
Brady had moved back in with us, to help out when Brendan had to go to school. I hated having to depend on my brothers to do shit for me, my pride taking a big hit at being so damn needy, but I was grateful to have them.
The doctors had given me crutches, but I hated them. Hated skipping around the house with those painful bars under my arms. Brady, being Brady, had picked me up a kick-ass wooden cane that I was using instead. Sure, it made me look like an old man, but I’d rather lean on that to get around than hobble around like some teenager with a football injury.
“Fuck!” I yelled as I maneuvered myself out of bed. I reached over to the cane, which was resting against my dresser, and eased myself up as quickly as possible. I’d found that it I dealt with pain better in quick fits, rather than drawing it out.
Once I was stable, I began the annoying process of getting myself to the bathroom.
“I sure am glad I don’t have to help you get on and off the shitter anymore,” Brady said. I looked to see him leaning against the doorway and used my free hand to show him what I thought about his statement. He just chuckled at me and asked, “You hungry?”
“Yeah, I could eat,” I replied.
He turned and left, my eyes watching him for a minute before I continued on my quest. Brady had come along way in my recovery process. In the beginning he’d hovered over me continuously, and although it drove me crazy, I knew he was just trying to cope with my accident. It had taken a while to get him to lay off and let me do things on my own, but my brother knew me well, and he knew I needed to start getting my independence back. He was joking around and smiling more, and I was happy to see some of the tension leaving him.
As they always did, my thoughts turned to Victoria. I hadn’t been able to get her out of my mind since that day at the hospital. I wanted to call and apologize, but I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted to be one hundred percent on my feet and back to myself before I saw her again.
When I’d gotten the feeling back in my legs, my first instinct had been to call her and share my joy, but then I remembered everything I’d said to her, and the look of betrayal on her face. I knew I needed to get back to the man I used to be, or at least as close to that man as possible, before I contacted her. Because not only did I need to apologize and make things right, but I needed her to know that I wanted her back.
Although we’d only been together for a short period of time before the accident, I’d fallen in love with her. And being away from her since, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.
I had a lot to make up for, so I needed to work on myself, so that I’d be ready to put all of my focus on making Victoria happy.
I was making my way down the hallway to the kitchen when I heard TJ’s voice along with Brady’s.
“Hey, brother,” I said when I rounded the corner and TJ came into sight.
“Hey, looking good, Brock,” TJ said with his signature grin. I could see he wanted to help me the rest of the table, but was pleased that he stood his ground and let me get myself there. When I was finally able to ease myself into the chair, I let out a soothing breath, hoping to relieve some of the pain in my leg.
“You want your medicine?” Brady asked as he set a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me.
“Nah, I’m good,” I replied, catching the concerned look on his face. Rather than say anything, Brady just nodded and walked back to the kitchen.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your breakfast,” TJ began as he sat across from me. “I just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing.”
“Anytime, brother, you know that,” I replied, then said, “Thanks,” to Brady when he put a steaming cup of coffee in front of me. “You want?”
“I’m good,” TJ replied, indicating his own cup of coffee. “I stopped to see Gaby at Bee Sweet, and brought you some assorted croissants.”
“I appreciate that.” Bee Sweet was famous for their croissants. “How’s everything going at the shop?”
“Great,” TJ said. “That was another reason I stopped by. I’m just about done with Brady’s Chevelle. I’ll have him come by to give it a look over and let me know how he feels about the progress. Next up I’m getting started on one of Brandt’s vintage cars.”
“That’s awesome, man, I’m so happy for you and Cal,” I replied sincerely. My friends had opened their own custom body shop, and so far it looked like the business was going to do just fine. Then I put my fork down and brought my eyes to his. “How’s Victoria?”
I knew he’d have a line on her. The girls had taken Victoria into their fold, and I knew Sasha told him everything.
“She’s good. As you know she finished up with your project. And Gwennie took some pictures of
her work and was helping her put some sort of book together that she can show prospective clients. The girls have stopped by there a couple of times to hang out and have girls’ night. You should call her.”
I shook my head and replied, “Not yet.”
“I assume you know what you’re doing, bro, but don’t wait too long. I’ll admit that I wasn’t Victoria’s biggest fan when she was dating Scott, but she’s different now. In large part, I think, because of you. And it won’t take long for some other guy to want a taste of that sweetness that you uncovered.”
His words brought a scowl to my face, the thought of some other guy going after Victoria not sitting well at all.
“Something to think about,” TJ said in response. “Well, I have to get to the shop, but we need to get together soon. I’m thinking poker night is in order.”
“Yeah, just let me know,” I replied, thinking a night with the guys sounded like just what I needed. “Thanks for stopping by.”
TJ clapped a hand on my shoulder, called out, “Later” to Brady, then let himself out.
“Hey, bro, you got the croissants?” I yelled out to Brady.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fixing my plate, then I’ll bring them to you,” Brady yelled back, then I heard him mutter, “I’m like a damned housewife.”
I grinned at my brother’s words. Yeah, we were all definitely ready for me to be recovered and back to myself, and once that happened, I hoped Victoria was ready to let me back in, because I wasn’t going to stop until she was.
Chapter 24 ~ Victoria
I opened the door, then took a quick step back, lest I get trampled by the trio of beautiful women rushing through my door.
“Sorry, the baby is pressing right on my bladder,” Shelly said as she rushed inside with Sasha clearing her path. Gaby laughed and gave me a hug, then I shut the door and followed her and Sasha into my living room.