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Chapter Four
I suddenly felt like the walls were closing in on me as I looked over everything that Doctor Wayland had given me. While I was down in the morgue they had done even more tests on my mother. The doctor was honest with me about the fact he had little hope that my mother would improve. If by some miracle she ever came out of that coma she wasn’t going to thrive. She would need help doing every little thing. She may not have even been able to communicate. I wanted it to be some ridiculous lie. I wanted a second opinion, but I knew that I was at one of the best trauma centers in the state. They knew what they were talking about.
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what would happen if my mother did wake up and come home with me. I would have to tell her that her husband was gone and that I had kept her here to live a sad life. Even though I had no idea what her wishes were, I couldn’t imagine her being very happy about that. No matter how much she loved me, she would have wanted to be with my father wherever he was. And he wasn’t there anymore. I instantly knew I had my decision, and it was almost a sense of relief. In a way, I had already lost her.
I stood up and went to find the doctor. I wasn’t going to wait any longer. Who knew if she could feel pain or not? Besides, it didn’t make sense for me to be there anymore. I had so much ahead of me to do, and I needed to do it in my own home. But then I realized that I didn’t even have a ride home, and I wasn’t in the mood to ride back with the sheriff. So, before I talked to the doctor I needed to make a call.
Rachel’s phone rang a few times before she answered. I hoped I wouldn’t be too much of a burden to her at the moment, but she was the only one I could imagine coming to get me at the moment. “Hey, two calls in one day. You must really be lonely,” Rachel joked. If only she knew the half of it.
“I need to ask a favor of you, Rachel,” I said. Good, I thought my voice sounds like me. I’m at the trauma center in Laredo, and I’ll be leaving soon. But I was brought here by the sheriff. Is there any way you could come and get me?”
There was a silence, but I knew she was still there because I could hear her breathing. “Is everything okay?” she finally asked.
“It’s my parents. They were in an accident,” I breathed out, not able to say more than that.
“Alright, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Don’t take 16,” I warned her before she hung up.
“Can I help you?” one of the nurses at the desk asked me after I hung up my phone. I had kind of just been standing there, and she seemed annoyed by it.
“Yes, I need to speak to Doctor Wayland. I have made my decision,” I told her. She nodded and went to fetch him. She didn’t even bother paging him. When the doctor came back he had all sorts of papers for me to sign consenting to what we were about to do and to use her as an organ donor if they could. It was almost an hour before I finally got in to see my mother. Rachel had already texted me to tell me she was getting pretty close. At least I wasn’t going to have to hang out after saying goodbye to my mother.
The nurse led me into the room where my mother was. She was hooked up to a bunch of machines. I stood next to her and grabbed her hand. “I’ll give you a few minutes, but they’ll be in here soon to unplug her,” the nurse said. She wasn’t trying to be rude, but it did come out cold. Maybe that was the way she used to get through each day with this stuff happening around her all the time, so I couldn’t really be angry.
I looked down at the woman who gave birth to me and knew I was going to fall apart the minute I left that room. “Mom?” I asked quietly. I didn’t know if she could hear me, but I really hoped she could. “I’m going to let you go be with Dad now because I love you, and I know that’s what you deserve. I’m going to miss you every day. You have been the best mother to me; better than most people could even hope for. I want you to know that I’ll be okay, and tell Dad that I love him, and I’ll take care of the ranch…. if you left it to me. And if not I’ll make sure whoever gets it will take care of it.” I began to cry, and I wasn’t sure what else I could say to her. That pretty much summed it up. So, I just held her hand until the nurse came in with the doctor to unplug everything.
I left the room and stood outside the door until I heard the heart rate machine signal that she was gone. That’s when I knew it was time for me to go. So, I headed out in the parking lot to find Rachel sitting there in her car. I climbed in, no longer hiding my emotions.