did you do?”
“You have to go!”
Gabe saw the open gate, another squad car pulling up. He still couldn’t move. Derrick ran over, shoved the mask back onto Gabe’s face.
“You don’t have a choice. You won’t survive The Program. ”
Gabe stood frozen, kept whispering, “No.”
Derrick grabbed him by the arm, yanked him towards the gate, shoved him onto the path. Another Controller was barreling down the hill. Derrick squeezed the plasma baton. “Go!” he screamed, then ran for the Controller. Gabe watched for a second, turned, then angled away from a screaming man with two Controllers kicking him in the gut and face. There was nothing between Gabe and the trees. His face was hidden. There was nothing left to do but run.
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The Other F-Word
In my post, The F-Word, I discussed how my wife and I talked with our daughter about “bad words,” the F-word in particular. Olivia was curious so we explained, hopefully took away the word’s power and forbidden attraction.
Now, I’m waiting for Olivia to ask if she can read my books. We can’t use the “inappropriate language” excuse anymore. It’s not that my novels are filled with swearing, but that was an easier explanation than “Daddy kills a bunch of people in his books.”
The cursing is still an issue, but I’ve made gains in not using the F-word in my fiction. I went from 108 fucks in Brightside to giving only 1 fuck per story in 25 Perfect Days. Somehow I managed without any in Try Not to Die. But while all the F-word talk was going on, I was deep into 5 More Perfect Days, polishing the second story, “30-Day Program.”
Three paragraphs in and the main character lets loose with a fuck. I looked at it closely, thought the word deserved to stay, but it wasn’t that F-word that was bothering me. It was the second:
Faggot.
Fucking faggot.
You can taste the hate in that word.
How’d you say it right now, how’d it make you feel? Say it out loud. Did you spit it out like something vile in your mouth? Were you offended? Should that word be banned?
I never imagined that word would find its way into my fiction, but I left it on the page after I read a letter from Don Currie, who wrote to me after enjoying 25 Perfect Days and my blog, Confessions of a Homophobe where I described my journey. Here’s part of Don’s message:
I was fag bashed in my early 20's and have the scars, both inside and out, to remind me of that horrible time. I was attacked and kicked in the head and body by feet wearing heavy boots....a lot! Due to the injuries to my head and brain, they were not able to administer pain medication or anesthesia while they repaired my eye that had been torn into multiple pieces. I lay on the operating table for the 3 hour microsurgery while the ophthalmologist used a microscope to sew up the multitude of tears to my upper and lower lids. The needle came straight down at my eye time after time, and I could do nothing but watch it. My head hurt, my body ached, my brain swelled. The whole time, I wondered why. The whole time I asked myself what could make someone hate me so much just for being who I am, for who I loved. The fractured skull has healed and the broken ribs, and the swelling to my brain, but the scars on my eye remain. Most people say they can't notice unless I tell them, but I know it's there. Some days it makes me sad, but mostly it is a reminder to me that I can endure lots of things, and I will not give up. It's also a reminder that there are people who hate me and others like me for no real reason, just because they do, but I will survive.
This was hard for me to read. Don and I talked about how little things have changed, that beatings like this are still commonplace. We talked about Russia and the direction they’re headed, how they enacted a law prohibiting any positive mention of homosexuality. How there are 76 countries with anti-gay laws as bad as or worse than Russia’s.
America’s not on that list, but not for a lack of trying. The federal law banning gay marriage was only recently lifted, and even though sodomy laws have been invalidated for 10 years there are still arrests. The recent legislation brought up in Kansas and the law that was just passed in Arizona make me wonder if the only reason why my short story, “30-Day Program,” should be classified as science fiction is because it’s set in 2048.
I guess we’ll see which way things go, if these types of laws will continue to gain momentum or if they’re the last flailing efforts of desperate individuals. After you read the story I hope you’ll take a second to answer a few questions, cast your vote on whether or not a 30-Day Program should one day become reality.
Sincere thanks to Don Currie for the inspiration, to Matte Zovich and Todd Barselow for their input early on, and to Anthony Szpak for all his help developing the story.
Survey
I’d sincerely appreciate it if you could take a moment to share how you’d vote on instituting a 30-Day Program.
You can take the survey on Facebook or email answers to
[email protected] How would you vote if your country wanted to enact its own 30-Day program?
What is your age?
13-19
20-34
35-49
50 and up
What is your gender?
Male
Female
Other
Do you identify as LGBT?
Yes
No
Would you vote to enact your country's 30-Day program where homosexuals were sent to retraining centers?
Yes.
No.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I’m a father and a husband, a brother and a son. I’m an Ivy League grad who worked in a warehouse, an MMA fighter with too many defeats. I’m the bouncer and bodyguard, the drunk guy in the fight. The jailer and the jailed, the guilty and innocent.
I’m a writer shaped by influences, too many to count. I grew up on King and Koontz while force-fed the Bible. I narrate Dr. Seuss and Disney nearly every night. Like you, I've seen things I wished I hadn’t, heard some truths I won’t forget.
Writing is my heavy bag, the sparring partner that doesn’t punch back. It’s where I shed my armor and cast off the blindfold, take a look at myself and the world around me. The writing takes me wherever it wants. Dark alley or dinner table, classroom or morgue. I go along for the ride and try to capture the moment, show life like it is.
COMING SOON
Woman with a Gun
A serialized graphic novel about a woman on the run, crossing the country to save her daughter from her psychopathic husband. The series is set to begin March 2014.
Unlocking the Cage
My nonfiction project scheduled for release in 2014. As a former fighter, I could never answer why I stepped in the cage. Through an extensive survey and interviews of hundreds of MMA fighters from across North America, I hope to answer who fighters are and what they have in common.
Try Not to Die: In Brightside
Volume 2 of the interactive series takes us back to the beautiful town of Brightside where telepaths have been imprisoned.
OUT NOW
Brightside
Across the nation, telepaths are rounded up and sent to the beautiful mountain town of Brightside. They’re told it’s just like everywhere else, probably even nicer. As long as they follow the rules and don’t ever think about leaving. Joe Nolan is one of the accused, a man who spent his life hearing things people left unsaid. And now he’s paying for it on his hundredth day in Brightside, fighting to keep hold of his secret in a town where no thought is safe. You can download free here.
25 Perfect Days
A totalitarian state doesn’t just happen overnight. It’s a slow, dangerous slide. 25 Perfect Days chronicles the path into a hellish future of food shortages, contaminated water, sweeping incarceration, an ultra-radical religion, and the extreme measures taken to reduce the population. Through these twenty-five interlinked stories, each written from a different character’s point of view, 25 Perfect Days captures the sacrifice, courage, and love needed to survive a
nd eventually overcome this dystopian nightmare.
Try Not to Die: At Grandma’s House
It’s Grandma’s House – quiet, cozy, nestled on a little mountain in West Virginia. What could possibly go wrong? A lot, actually.
So watch your back. Choose wisely. One misstep will get you and your little sister killed.
To survive, you’ll battle creatures, beasts, and even your grandparents as you unravel the mystery of your older brother’s death in this interactive, graphic novel.
Repackaged Presents
Five short horror stories you should read with the lights on. Come join a soldier on the run in the jungle. A co-ed’s late night at the computer lab. A doctor’s visit to the insane asylum. A man’s quest for the perfect photo. A family’s unique Christmas ritual. You can download free here.
Every Precious Second
A free short story about an old man who tries to slow down time for his dying wife. You can download here.
EXCERPT FROM TRY NOT TO DIE: AT GRANDMA’S HOUSE
An interactive graphic novel by
Mark Tullius and Anthony Szpak