"Yes," answered With, "we understand."
"Adios," said the leader who pushed a button on his wristlet to call the portal back. He spoke into his helmet microphone, "We're off to the science fiction universe now, Captain." They all four entered the portal again and vanished. Just before the portal was closed a wristlet was thrown through and landed on the floor.
Sid bobbed down and picked it up, "Someone else is trying to help us."
Alf landed on the floor next to the castle wall just missing a gorse bush.
Trelainne was kneeling on one knee with arrow knocked to bow.
"Are you ready?" she asked, "Let's go."
They both started to run like the wind towards a small copse. "Hang on a minute," said Alf, "what about trying to help the others?"
"Others? You mean the ones that just left you in jail to rot for the night? They've probably already left. Ring them later."
"I'm sorry Trelainne, but these guys helped me in my quest and it's only right that I should make sure that they have left."
"Are you going to dominate me like that when we're married?"
"Only if you want me to."
"So how do you propose that we get back in?" she asked.
"Let's climb in through one of the open windows." With that, Alf started to climb the rope.
They had finished washing Arthur and had changed his clothes, but he was still unconscious.
"How's he going to rescue me if he's unconscious?" asked Arianne.
"He doesn't stink of goblin now so can't you be grateful?" chelped Sid.
"She has got a point there Sid," said With.
A large explosion blew two doors off of one of the rooms down the hall. With, Sid and the princess rushed down the hall to See Biggs on the floor and covered in plaster dust. "I've got my long term memory back," he said while dusting himself off.
A red faced Lee walked out, "I think I used a little too much gunpowder. Did you forget about me?"
They all looked a bit ashamed.
"Who's this mandarin?" asked Arianne.
"This is Lee, children's entertainer, he was with me to begin with but also got captured," explained With.
"He looks like the marrying kind," said Arianne, straightening her dress. "What us princesses have to do to get married. If I hadn't got myself captured on purpose I'm sure my father would of had me stay a spinster till he died."
"I'm sorry princess but I'm already wed," commiserated Lee.
"I can give Arthur some specially prepared herbs that should wake him up," said With.
"Go on then brother," said Arianne.
With that With took out a paper packet and emptied its contents down Arthur's throat. "Oh no!" he said, "This is only half a portion, some has fallen out through this hole."
"Will it still work?" asked Lee.
"I don't know, can you hand me that glass of water please."
Lee got the water. With tipped Arthur's head forward a bit and poured the water into his mouth while holding his nose. Arthur choked the mixture down.
After a few moments Arthur began to stir.
"It's worked, he's conscious," said an elated Sid.
"Uh oh," uh oh'd With "it's only half worked, he's only half conscious."
Biggs looked at With, "What does half conscious mean?"
"I don't know for sure but I think he will only be able to do half the things he normally does," replied With.
Arianne asked, "How do you mean half the things he normally does?"
"It will be as though he is sleepwalking. Let's stand him up and see," answered With.
So Lee and With stood Arthur up. He just stood there.
"That's not bad," said Sid, "but it could be better."
With looked at Arthur's eyes, "Let's see what else he can do." He pulled Arthur's sword from its scabbard and looked at it, "Mmmm, genuine Excalibur copy, made from meteor metal, mmm nice." With put the sword into Arthur's hand and then raised the king's arm into the air, then lowered it, then raised it again. Arthur continued to raise and lower his arm.
"Now all we have to do is point him at some goblins," laughed Lee.
"How is he going to rescue me?" asked Arianne.
"We'll get him to lead the party, just point him and give him a shove," said Biggs.
"Right!" Said Sid. Then he asked the princess, "Don't you like King Arthur Arianne?"
"King Arthur. You mean Camelot, Guinevere, Excalibur and all that lot?" she asked.
"Yes, of course," said Biggs.
"Oh yes, he's good enough to marry," exclaimed Arianne, "if he ever gets back to his normal self, but do you think that my father will accept that he rescued me?"
"I think so," said Lee, "we'll say he led the party in your rescue and escape. That's not lying."
They heard a noise of fighting on the stairs so they rushed out.
Pan Head and the other goblins were fighting on the stairs. With took out a mini crossbow and mounted a tranquiliser dart in it. He fired the dart at the uppermost goblin who looked round and started up the stairs only to fall down in a sleep. Another two darts dispatched another two goblins.
Ugbash and the other two looked round and saw that they were outnumbered, "Surrender, surrender!" he cried.
Alf and Trelainne smiled brightly from the bottom of the stairs, "Hello you lot, we wondered if you'd escaped yet?"
The others all laughed and Biggs got some telephone cord, "Let's tie these up. Got any tape for their mouths Lee?"
Lee got some tape out then they tied all six goblins up and dragged them into another room and locked the door.
"Now to escape," said Biggs, "I give the orders now, I'm second in charge," he ordered as he marched downstairs.
"Hang on a minute, hang on," called Sid, "what about Fawr?"
"Fawr, who's Fawr? It's supposed to be Fawh for Fully Armoured War Horse, not Fully Armoured War Rorse," rebuked Sid, "get your spelling right Author."
"Oh yes, Fawh," said Biggs, "hang on, we've rescued the princess, now we're supposed to defeat the Dark Lord."
"What do you mean, kill him?" asked With.
"I don't know, as long as we defeat him I don't suppose it matters," answered Biggs.
"What do you think is meant by defeat, defeating his guards, fighting him till he gives up, what?" asked Alf.
"Ask the author," said Sid the dwarf. Then, "I'll ask the author. Author, how do we defeat the Dark Lord?"
The author did not answer.
"Oh I forgot, we just had a visit from the fantasy police and they said they were keeping tabs on the author helping us," a look of realisation crossing Sid's face.
"Another idea," suggested Alf, "why don't we ask one of the goblins how we can defeat him."
"The pansy elf comes up with the idea again," whined Sid.
"I'm not a pansy," said Trelainne.
"Oh, sorry," said Sid in a kind of backing down voice.
Biggs went to get Pan Head and after he unstuck his mouth then proceeded to ask him, "Now goblin, how do we defeat the Dark Lord?"
"Chop his feet off," squirmed Pan Head.
"No, not how to de-feet him, but how to, er, best him in battle," said Alf.
"Well you can't at the moment, not today, he's taken a short break in the city. He's going to play in a chess tournament," replied Pan Head.
"I know," chirped Arianne, "we could defeat him at chess."
"That's a good idea Arianne, darling," smarmed Trelainne.
"How far's the city from here any way?" asked Biggs.
"Oh," said Arianne, "about ten minutes by tube."
"Tube," exclaimed Biggs, "I thought this was supposed to be a fantasy story?"
"It is, but even we have to get around somehow and this is a surreal universe, the real blending with the unreal," explained Arianne.
"
I can see Mater and Pater while I am in the city," said an excited Arianne," and show them Arthur, if he is a little better of course."
"I'll get Fawh," volunteered With, "I know where he is."
"And we've got a good way out," said Alf, "a rope from the window of a room downstairs."
"We can't get the horse out that way," said Lee.
"Never mind, I'll come out through the Main Hall, I'll say I'm exercising him," beamed With.
So With went down the stairs to the servant's quarters and the others headed for the escape route.
When With entered the stables he noticed that the black Pegasus was not there, "Fawh, are you ready, we've got the princesses."
"Oh good, well let me out then."
With walked Fawh across the courtyard through the passages and into the great hall, which had been tidied up.
Ugbash entered, "What are you doing?"
"I'm taking this horse for a walk, it hasn't been exercised for days, have you got a problem with that?" asked With, hand on hip.
"Don't get a monk on then," replied the cowed goblin.
With opened the back door and went through followed by Fawh, "Very slick with," said the horse, "where are the others?"
They walked toward the copse and the others came to greet them. With introduced the princesses, "This is Trelainne the elven princess and this is Arianne. This is Fawh the fully armoured war horse."
"Come on then," bawled Biggs, "let's go to the station in Undercastleton."
Interview with the Author
The Author sits down at his PC and begins to type.
"Hello Author," says Arthur, king of the Britons.
"Hello," says the Author.
"I would like to welcome you to this interview hosted by me..."
"And me," interjected Sid the dwarf.
"You do a lot of interjecting Sid," said Arthur, "can you not do a bit of interrupting instead?"
"If you want me to," interrupted Sid.
"You didn't really interrupt there Sid," said I.
"Really?"
"No, it was after Arthur had finished talking. It could have been a thought Sid or a said Sid."
"I don't like said Sid, it makes me sound as though I'm saying my name twice."
"Anyway," continued Arthur, "I wanted to ask you about how you started to interact with us those many years ago."
"You mean 1996?"
"Is it that long ago?" mused Sid, "No wonder me bones are startin' te ache."
"I had joined a writer's circle and wrote a short piece of comedy to read there. They laughed so much I decided to carry on writing it."
"But I existed long before then," Arthur said in a distinctly slow and melodious way.
"So did I," said Sid, "at least 300 years before."
"But did you Sid?" inquired I.
"What do you mean?" wondered Sid.
"As far as I can remember you were a spelling mistake."
"B...b..." bubbed Sid.
"That is right Sid," agreed Arthur, "you were a spelling mistake."
"Well you are..."
"Uh hum," I interrupted, "don't give anything away Sid. I still have 2 books to write after The Detective One."
"Aww, yere allys spoilin' ma fun."
"Mmm," carried on Arthur, "so why did you leave us in space for 15 years?"
"I couldn't get a publisher. It was only with the advent of the Kindle and self publishing on a cheap scale that you could again be brought to life."
"We were already alive."
"Ok then, brought to the attention of the public."
"You wrote two books last year and, so far this year, you have written 5. Why is that?"
"The discipline of writing 500 to 1,000 words a day for Flash Fiction has kept me being productive."
"So can we expect to see The Detective One out before Christmas?"
"Maybe, it depends how funny you are."
"Me? I am extremely funny."
"He thinks he is," laughed Sid.
"Well Author I am terminating the interview for now," said Arthur, "because I do not like the way it is going."
Go to my website https://stephensstories.co.uk/ to find out where you can buy The Crying Pennant (The first in the Arth Series), the Sitting Duck (2nd) Up and Away (3rd) Ground Hog War (4th).
by Stephen Jennison-Smith.
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https://www.wattpad.com/user/StephenJennison-Smith (Where you can find the 5th in the Arth Series, The Detective One, as I am writing it!)
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