Maybe.
THIRTY-ONE
I shove the spear out in front of me. “Don’t come near me,” I yell, my voice betraying me by coming out weak and shaky.
He laughs again, flashing white teeth in my direction. “Really, Lara.”
I take a step back. He grins and moves closer. “I think I should remove something from your body, something essential. Say, a finger? What do you think?”
I say nothing. I just lunge. It’s stupid. I don’t realize it at the time but the second I crash against him, I know I’ve made a mistake. He’s bigger than he looks, and his body is solid muscle. I’m tiny and weak; I have no idea how to use a spear. The wooden object just tumbles out of my hand when it makes contact with his body, and I’m left with nothing.
Laughter fills my ears as he takes hold of my hand, jerking me closer.
“No,” I scream. “No!”
With a wild, feral laugh, he brings the knife closer. I squirm, thrash, and kick, but he’s strong and he’s not letting go. I scream and pull as hard as I can, but it’s no use.
“Lara! Hey!”
I jerk upright, sweat running down my face and soaking the blankets. It’s dark. Where am I? Panic grips my chest and I start feeling around frantically, trying to figure out what’s going on. Is he here? Oh God. Did he find me? I thought I was safe? How did he find me so quickly? Noah? Noah!
“Lara!”
My teeth chatter as my body is shaken. I blink a few times, slowly coming to. A soft bed beneath me. Noah’s hands on my shoulders. It’s over. Bryce is dead. We’re okay. We’re safe. We got out. I killed him. I killed him.
“Noah?” I croak. “Is he … is he gone?”
“Baby, he’s gone. You’re okay. It was a dream.”
A dream.
Just a dream.
“It was so real,” I croak. “I was taking sleeping pills in the hospital and I didn’t dream, Noah, I didn’t dream. I want it to go away. I don’t want to see that every time I close my eyes.”
“It’ll get easier to handle,” he says, running his fingers down my hair. “It will, baby. I swear.”
“Will I hear him for the rest of my life? See him around every corner? Every time I close my eyes?”
“No,” he says, softly. “No you won’t.”
I nuzzle into him, needing him, needing the closeness. I don’t ever want to be without him. I need him to make it go away. To make me feel better. To make it feel like it never happened. To take my mind away for just a second.
“Noah,” I whisper, trembling in his arms. “Make love to me.”
“Lara,” he groans. “I don’t…”
“Please. I need you. I need that. The only pure, beautiful thing he couldn’t take from us. We’re going to have to relive this again tomorrow at the police station. So please. Give me this.”
He turns his head. I tilt mine back and his lips graze over mine, softly at first but slowly increasing in pressure until our mouths crush together in a slow, deep frenzy. He moves, tucking me beneath his big body, and our mouths don’t part as he shifts between my legs. His skin is pressed against mine, so hot, so hard, and he feels so good. He’s right there, pressing against my entrance. Hard and ready.
His mouth pulls away from mine and trails down my jaw and neck, stopping at my collarbone before dipping to my breasts. He sucks softly on one nipple, then the other, drawing each into his mouth. His hands caress, gently, passionately, and all the while his erection rubs up and down my sex, taunting me, teasing me. I whimper into his mouth when his lips find mine again and his hand tangles in my hair, tilting my head back so he can trail kisses down my throat.
“Please,” I whimper. “Please, Noah.”
“Please what?” he growls, nipping my jaw.
“I need you inside me.”
“Then that’s what you’ll get.”
He reaches down, hooking my leg around his hips, and then he’s sliding inside me, inch by agonizing inch. So big, so hard. I gasp and my fingers run down his back, lightly caressing his skin as he fills me. He feels incredible, so big and strong. So powerful and dominant. His hand is still tangled in my hair and his fingers move along my scalp as he clenches and unclenches with pleasure.
“Noah,” I gasp, arching up to meet him.
“Fuck. Yes,” he grunts, filling me completely.
Then he makes love to me, slow and steady at first, hands, mouths, bodies colliding. Then frenzy takes over and my nails glide down his skin, his hand tugs on my hair, and our lovemaking becomes fucking. Furious, intense fucking. I arch up to him, screaming his name as an orgasm unlike any other rocks my body, taking me over. My legs quiver, my knees wobble, my palms get sweaty, and I cry out his name as bliss consumes me.
His orgasm follows close behind, matching my own in intensity: His body arches, his muscles clench, and he grunts out a name before dropping his forehead to mine. We feel no pain. Not a single thing on our bodies hurts in this moment, even though they should. We’ve had so much pain, nothing can compare. Nothing. He’s all I need, he’s all I see, he’s all I feel, and I’ll be okay with having that forever.
“If that’s what we need to do to make the nightmares go away,” he murmurs against my lips, “I vote we do it all the time.”
I laugh softly. “Me too.”
Me too.
THIRTY-TWO
“I’m nervous,” I whisper, climbing out of the car and staring around at the road we have to cross to get to the police station.
“It’ll be okay. One day we have to learn how to get on with our lives, Lara. Today is that day,” Noah says, helping me to my feet and clutching my hand as he shuts the door behind me.
“What if they lock me away?”
“You killed a man who was hunting you. They’re not going to lock you away. Trust me.”
“I killed someone.”
He stops and cups my jaw. “You saved our lives, you survived, they will not lock you away for that.”
We take a few steps and I study the people, waiting for one of them to say something. Nobody does. They just move past us as if we’re any old person on the street. They don’t care. Why should they? We’re last week’s news. Bigger and better things have happened since us, and nobody is worried about it anymore. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
We move to the crossing and a familiar sound rings through the warm day, filling my ears and making my body go stiff. It starts as a low hum and quickly gets louder and louder. I hear it above the cars. Above the buses. Above the chatter of people walking past. Everything else fades into nothing as it gets louder and louder. My body freezes, my ears ring, my skin prickles, and I can’t move.
“Lara.” Noah’s voice is a warm rush in my ear. “It’s just a motorcycle. He’s not here.”
He’s not here.
“He’s dead. You’re okay.”
Dead.
Okay.
I focus. In front of me, stopped at the lights, is a young man on a motorcycle, eyes ahead, probably just traveling to work.
“It’s not him,” Noah says softly into my ear. “You’re okay.”
“I’m … I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s going to take some time. Let’s get you inside.”
When the traffic clears, he leads me across the road and into the police station. I exhale the second we’re behind closed doors and gather myself. I saw a therapist yesterday for the first time, and she told me this was normal: A lot of people suffer post-traumatic stress after facing a horrifying ordeal. We’d work through it over time.
“Lara, Noah, welcome.”
I look up to see a man I’ve come to know as Sergeant Walters. He’s been leading the investigation and called us in here today.
We both move toward him. “Sergeant,” Noah says, shaking his hand. “What can we do for you?”
“Come, take a seat.”
We follow him into his office and sit down, taking a
seat in front of his desk.
“Sorry to call you in here, but my team has found the body of Bryce after we determined his location from the details you provided.”
I shiver.
It’s a relief, sure, but it also makes things more real.
“Unfortunately, we’ve been unable to locate the cave you told us about and we were wondering if you would be able to help us. We can’t get choppers low enough to see anything so the men are going on foot. It’s very difficult.”
My body freezes. Help them. They want us to go back.
“You want us to go back?” Noah grates out.
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t have to, believe me. I understand how horrific it must have been to be in there, but those teens have families who need answers, too.”
“No,” I cry, launching out of my seat. “No, I won’t do it.”
I turn and run out the door, hearing Noah calling my name. I round the corner into the reception area where I see Maggie, the woman who picked me up that night, on the floor, her head in her hands, sobbing hysterically. I come to an abrupt stop as I watch her body shake. Her husband, Peter, leans down, curling his arms around her, crying too. What are they doing here?
“Please,” she begs to no one in particular. “I need to find her. I need to put her to rest. My baby. I know she’s gone, I know it in my heart. But she deserves to be put to rest with God, somewhere beautiful. Please.”
My feet are frozen to the floor as she breaks. She just breaks.
One of those teenagers is Maggie and Peter’s child?
I can’t move.
I can’t.
“We’re doing everything we can to find their bodies, ma’am,” an officer says, kneeling down. “The woods are very dense, and there are miles of territory to cover.”
“You’re not doing everything you can,” she screams, her face streaked with tears. “You need to bring in more officers. You need to bring her back from that awful place.”
She wants her child home.
A child who didn’t get a second chance like me.
A child who barely lived.
I didn’t kill him for nothing. I didn’t escape only to fall into another pit of fear and horror. I escaped because I’m strong. I escaped because I wanted to live. Those kids didn’t escape. They never got the chance to discover who they were. They never got to live. Now I have the chance to reunite them with their families so that they can at least be put to rest properly.
Nan’s words repeat in my head, filling my heart with a strength I was allowing to slip again. “You’re all of those things and more, Lara. You’re the kindest girl I know. Look how often you come over here and look after me. You’re the bravest girl I know. I admit you’re a little too loud sometimes, but you go into the world fighting and that makes you something else. You are more than loyal, we both know that. Mostly you’re strong. The strongest girl I know. You could endure anything, anything at all. I believe it with all that I am. Be all those things, Lara, and the world will give you what you need.”
I’m moving before I can think about it, kneeling down in front of the broken couple who helped us in our time of need. She looks up and gasps. I reach for her hands and whisper, “I’m going to go back, and I’m going to find your baby for you. I’m going to make sure you get to bring her home.”
She sobs and clutches me. “You’ve been through enough, dear. I couldn’t…”
“I know what it was like out there,” I say, squeezing her hand. “And without you, we might have never made it to the hospital. Please, let me do this for you.”
Peter reaches out and closes his hand over mine. “Thank you,” he whispers. “You’re so incredibly brave. I don’t know if it was meant to be that we found you that night. We were just out looking for our daughter. Then you were there and the rest of the story fell into place…”
I stand, swallowing the thick lump in my throat. Maybe he’s right. Maybe they found us for a reason, and that reason is so I can return their baby home and they can have a proper good-bye. “I’ll do all I can. I’ll get her home.”
Maggie nods and sobs. “T-t-t-thank you.”
I turn and see Noah staring at me with such love and admiration. I smile shakily and walk over to him, taking his hand. “I’m going back in.”
He cups my face. “You never cease to amaze me, baby. You’re the strongest, most incredible, bravest person I’ve ever met. I love you.”
I lean forward, pressing my forehead against his. “I love you, too.”
He turns to the sergeant. “Let’s get those kids home to their families.”
THIRTY-THREE
My boots crunch over the slowly drying leaves as I take the first step into the forest where I spent over a week of my life living in pure torment. Something strange washes over my body as I walk; it’s not peace, but acceptance. I don’t look around. I don’t focus on anything but the path in front of me. I don’t look at the motorcycle marks embedded in the mud, or the broken trees and dangling cameras that have been pulled down.
I just walk.
I need to bring those kids home to their families.
Noah is behind me and I can feel his fear and anxiety radiating through my body. With each step we move into that forest, we remember more. I keep my shoulders squared and keep reminding myself that Bryce is gone, he can’t hurt us anymore. I can’t let those kids rot in that cave, I can’t let their families hurt. If I can bring one good thing out of this, I can make sure they get home for the burial they deserve.
“This path was created by him,” I say to Sergeant Walters. “He was quite clever, really.”
“Indeed, his plan must have taken years to figure out.”
“He put the coconut trees there. Enough to give us food, but food we had to work hard for.”
“You two are incredibly brave for surviving.”
I shrug, focusing straight ahead. “We did what we had to.”
“Run, Lara. Run!”
I can almost hear Noah’s voice calling to me through the trees, even now. As we move closer to the stream that became our lifeline, I notice so much more than I did before. All the birds, the sounds, the way the trees link together, the vines we could have used. So much. So simple. Now I’m looking at it without fear. As we reach the stream, I count the coconuts that have fallen to the ground. Eight, to be exact.
Our footprints have solidified in the mud beside the water.
I kneel down and run my fingers over them, closing my eyes and remembering.
It takes me well over an hour to complete this, and then I have to very carefully come back, stepping as close to the edge of the track as I can, making sure I cover every one of my new footprints so he doesn’t figure out what I’ve done. It takes me a good long while to get back to Noah, and when I get there, I find him slumped against a tree, head dropped, eyes closed.
I run forward. Fear clogging my throat.
“Noah!” I scream, dropping to my knees in front of him.
I take his shoulders and shake, panic gripping my chest. No.
His eyes flutter open. I make a strangled, relieved noise.
“I was just resting, Lara,” he croaks.
Tears burst forth; I have zero control over them. They tumble down my cheeks in rivers. “I thought … for a second I thought…”
He reaches up, gripping my chin. “I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”
I nod, sniffling, trying to suck back my sobs. Noah’s fingers move to my jaw and then glide up until he’s cupping my face. “We’re going to get out of here.”
I don’t know if I believe that anymore.
“Lara?” Noah calls. I look up at him.
The three officers behind us are letting me have my moment, standing back respectfully.
“We need to follow this stream down. It could take a while, but it’s how we found the cave.”
“How did you know the cave would be in there?” Walters asks.
“We took a guess. It seemed like a
logical thing and it paid off.”
“That’s clever thinking.”
I shrug. “Not really. He knew about it. For a while, though, it gave us hope.”
I glance at Noah and our eyes lock. Understanding.
“A moment before we go into the stream?” Noah asks.
Walters nods and he and the other two men find a log to sit on. Noah comes over to me, cupping my face in his hands. “You’re incredible, the way you’re leading this search, the strength you’re showing. I know how hard it is to be back here. I feel it, I hear it, I breathe it, and all I want to do is run. But seeing you, so fucking brave…”
I lean up on my tiptoes and kiss him, long and deep. When I pull back, I whisper, “I got my second chance here, Noah. Those kids didn’t. It isn’t about me.”
“You take my breath away,” he whispers, stroking his thumb over my cheek. “Just like the first night I met you. You had me hooked then, and you have me hooked now.”
“Except this time, I’m not going to be stupid enough to let you go,” I breathe, cupping his jaw with my hand.
“I’d never let you run again. I should have chased you harder. I should have fought harder.”
“We’ve had our fight, we’ve had our chase, now let’s just keep us.”
“Deal,” he murmurs, kissing me again before waving the men over.
I step into the water and we move, far more easily now than we did last time we were here. It takes us a few hours to reach the big pool before the cave. I stop, legs carefully flailing around in the water as I keep myself from going under. The officers are behind us, also in the water. I am sure the other entrance to the cave would be far drier, but we never did see where it emerged.
“I can’t go any farther,” I say. “I don’t think I can handle seeing them, but that’s the cave in there. We’ll wait for you on the side.”
“We understand,” Harry, the kind officer who was with us from the start, says.
“Just go up and walk through that waterfall,” Noah offers. “We’ll wait by the stream.”
They nod and disappear into the waterfall. I swim to the edge and climb out into the all-too-familiar clearing and sit, running my fingers over the soft, dry earth.