I was in shock.
I’d always believed that Cal and I would be together forever … That we’d have children and grow old together.
That he would never hurt me.
Well, he hadn’t just hurt me. He’d crushed me. He’d crushed us.
I pulled up to the home I’d grown up in and had barely turned off the car before I was catapulting out of it. I ran up the steps and put my key in the door. I flung it open, sobbing and crying, and looked around frantically.
My dad came out of the kitchen, his face covered in surprise as he looked at me. I was still in my anniversary outfit and must have looked half out of my mind.
I was.
“Shell Bell, what’s going on? Are you hurt?”
“Oh, Daddy,” I cried as I rushed into his arms and held on tightly.
He patted my back and murmured that everything would be okay. And although I knew that this was one thing my father wouldn’t be able to fix for me, I allowed myself to be soothed by his words.
Chapter 5 – Cal
I dropped to my knees after she walked out the door. I’m not sure how long I stayed there, staring at the closed door, willing it to open again and to have Shelly walk back in. It never did.
When I got up and walked around the dining room, followed by the kitchen, my stomach clenched at the effort she’d put into the evening. I could feel the love and happiness that had gone into the planning and execution of our anniversary celebration, and it killed me that I’d ruined all of it.
I walked back to our bedroom and sat on the bed. As I stared at Shelly’s open drawers, I grabbed my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Scott.
“’Lo,” he said after one ring.
“She left,” I said simply.
“I’m on my way,” Scott said. I could hear his keys jingling as he hung up the phone.
Scott had been my best friend since the moment we both rode up on our Huffy bikes on the first day of sixth grade. We could count on each other in good times and bad, and he was the only person other than Shelly that I could go to when I needed to talk.
I thought about the look on her face when she realized what I was about to confess. I never wanted to put that look on her face, and I was torn apart that I had.
The first time I saw Shelly, my initial thoughts were not of marriage. I was sixteen years old, and she was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. Her green eyes made her entire face light up, her long brown hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, and her body was to die for. I wanted her. Badly. It was that simple.
“Dibs,” I’d called out to Scott and TJ when I saw her. They’d both followed my gaze and TJ’d replied, “Shit … She’s fine.”
I don’t know where I’d gotten the courage, but I walked right up to her and started talking. I’d asked her out for that weekend, and she’d said yes. We’d been together ever since, and I’d never wanted anyone else. This was why I found it unfathomable, that no matter how wasted I was, I would’ve cheated on her. I just couldn’t believe it.
“Cal,” Scott yelled from somewhere in the house.
“Back here,” I responded.
“Dude, what’s up with the spread?” Scott asked as he walked in.
“It’s our six-year wedding anniversary,” I responded miserably.
“Fuck. I forgot.”
I nodded, then looked up at him and repeated what I’d told him earlier on the phone. “She left. She wouldn’t stay and talk about it.”
“Bro, I’m so sorry. I’m sure she’s hurt right now. Give her some space, and then explain everything. Beg. Grovel. Whatever you have to do. It’s you and Shel, man, you’ll work it out.”
“You think?” I asked, hopeful.
But he hadn’t seen how I’d crushed her.
I shook my head.
“I don’t know. It’s a pretty unforgivable thing.”
“Hey, if anyone can get past this, it’s you guys. Just give her some time and then do whatever you have to do to make it right.”
“I don’t want to be here,” I said, looking around our bedroom. Shelly had taken such care to make our home special, and there were reminders of us everywhere.
“C’mon,” Scott said, gesturing toward the door. “You can crash at my place as long as you want.”
“Thanks, man,” I said as I rose from the bed.
I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt, along with my work clothes, and threw them in a bag, then I went into the bathroom and got what I’d need for a couple days.
When I walked into the kitchen, Scott was putting everything away.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Just trying to help out. I didn’t want either of you to have to come home to a mess that would remind you of today.”
That’s why he was my best friend. I could always fucking count on him.
“Thanks, man.” I clapped him on the back, then started clearing the table.
We were done a few minutes later and headed out the door. I followed him in my Mustang, since I’d need it to get to work in the morning.
I worked in a garage with TJ; we had worked there since our senior year of high school. Neither of us were the type of guys to go to college and get some big business job; we left that to Scott. We were more than happy to be turning wrenches and coming home dirty every night.
I loved the feeling of fixing something that was thought to be broken. I even enjoyed the mundane tasks, like changing oil and rotating tires.
Shelly had always been proud of my work, just like I was proud of her work at the bank. We were happy. At least we were. Now I didn’t know what was going to happen, and that scared me.
Our future had always seemed predestined. We met in high school, got married, and focused on our work and our life together. Now that we were both pretty established at our jobs, we had been talking about starting a family. It was perfect.
I felt lost, and not just a little afraid. I couldn’t imagine a future without Shelly in it. I didn’t want to.
I knew that I had to do whatever I possibly could to get her back. She had to listen to me, and she had to forgive me. There just wasn’t any other alternative.
We were meant to be together.
Chapter 6 – Shelly
I cried for two days. I called in sick to work, turned off my cell phone, and hid out in my childhood bedroom. I just kept hearing him over and over in my head, “I’m pretty sure I slept with her.”
How can you be “pretty sure”?
By the time the two days were over, it no longer mattered to me. All that mattered was that Cal slept with someone else.
He was not the man I thought he was.
My first order of business was to take a shower. I reeked.
Once I was scrubbed, shaved, and squeaky clean, I went out into the house in search of food. My dad was sitting at the kitchen table, reading the paper and drinking tea. Judging by the darkness outside, it was nighttime. I looked at the clock and was surprised to see it was eleven o’clock.
“What are you doing up?” I asked my dad as I opened the refrigerator door.
“Hey, Bell,” he said, grinning at me from around the paper. “It’s good to see you up.”
“It’s late, why are you up?” I asked again.
“I figured you’d have to get up eventually, and I wanted to be here in case you needed to talk.”
I put the carton of eggs on the counter, then walked over and kissed him on the head.
“That’s sweet, Dad, but you should get some sleep.”
“Nah, I’m retired. I can sleep whenever I want.”
“Alright, do you want some eggs?” I asked.
“No, I already ate,” he responded.
He continued to read his paper as I made my eggs, and I found his presence comforting.
When I sat down at the table next to him he said, “Cal’s called a few times.”
“I don’t want to talk to him right now,” I spat out. Just the sound of his name made me
lose my appetite.
“That’s what I told him,” my dad replied. “Gaby and Sasha have also called a few times, I guess Cal told them you were here. They were worried because they haven’t been able to get a hold of you.”
“I turned my phone off,” I explained as I pushed the eggs around on my plate.
“Well, you should give them a call, let ‘em know you’re okay.”
I nodded. Sasha and Gaby were probably exactly what I needed right now. Great friends.
“You need to eat those eggs, not just play with them.”
“I’ll try,” I said softly.
My dad stood up and gathered up his empty cup, then he kissed me on the head, mimicking my earlier gesture.
“You’ll get through this, sweetheart. You’re a strong woman, just like your mother.”
“Thanks, Dad. Goodnight.”
I sat there staring at the plate in front of me, wondering what I was going to do. I guessed that I’d have to go back to work; now was not the time to get fired. Plus, I needed to start thinking about money. Cal and I had always kept our money together and paid our bills. Now, we’d have to decide who was going to get the house and pay the bills, and divvy everything up. I was always the one who paid the bills, so Cal was going to have to start worrying about that on his own now.
I’d already decided that we would have to get a divorce. There’s no way I’d be able to stay with him after what he did.
I picked up my plate and threw out my uneaten food, then went to find my phone.
When I turned it on, there were numerous missed calls and text messages from Cal, Gaby, and Sasha. I ignored Cal’s and went right to Gaby’s. She started off worried, then pissed, and her final message simply said, Call Me Now.
I called her.
“Hello,” Gaby said sleepily.
“Hey,” I responded. “Did I wake you?”
“Shelly? You at your dad’s?” she asked, a little more alert.
“Yeah.”
“I’m coming over,” Gaby said. Then she hung up.
“Hello?” I asked, but she was already gone.
I shouldn’t have been surprised though, the three of us had always been like that. We could count on each other no matter what.
Gaby and I had been friends since elementary school. In fact, I couldn’t remember a time in my life without her in it.
Sasha had moved into town our freshman year in high school. She’d been gorgeous, fashionable, and scared the shit out of everyone, so the majority of the school had shunned her almost immediately. Not ones to conform to the masses, Gaby and I had asked Sasha to sit with us during lunch … We’d been inseparable ever since.
I was sitting on the couch, looking out the window, so I saw Gaby’s VW Bug pull up in front of the house and got up to open the door for her.
She jogged up the path, into the house, and put her hands on my shoulders, looking me over everywhere.
“What the fuck is going on?” she asked finally.
I pulled her inside and shut the door, leaning against it as I answered her. When I finished telling her about Cal, her mouth was hanging wide open and she was shaking her head back and forth.
“No … No, way. Not Cal, he loves you too much.”
“Apparently not,” I said with a bitter laugh. “He was drunk and doesn’t remember, but it happened.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m doing it, Gaby. I left him.”
“But, he didn’t do it on purpose …” she began, then stopped when I shot her a glare.
“Don’t you dare defend him.”
“I’m not defending him, Shelly, but it’s Cal. It’s the two of you. You love each other and there’s no way that he would have consciously went out and slept with another woman. You have to know that.”
“I may know that, Gaby, but I also know that I can’t get the image of him with another woman out of my head. I can’t stop thinking that he had sex with someone other than me,” I explained as I paced the living room. “We were both each other’s first and only lovers. That’s not the case anymore, and I can’t get it out of my head.”
“Maybe with a little time you will,” Gaby said softly.
“Please, stop. I know that you love both of us, Gaby, but I need you to be on my side on this,” I pleaded.
“I’m always on your side, Shelly,” Gaby promised. “No matter what.”
Chapter 7 – Cal
“I’m going to do whatever it takes to get her back, man,” I was explaining to TJ as I finished up with an oil change on a Charger.
“Dude, I really don’t get what she’s getting all freaked out about … I mean, I get it … but, it’s not like you’re having an affair or something. It was an honest mistake,” TJ was saying as he organized his tools. He was anal about his toolboxes.
I stopped and gave him a look, “Are you being serious, TJ? It is a big deal. I fucked up majorly.”
“All I’m saying is that you didn’t plan it. It’s not like when we hopped on the plane to Vegas you said, ‘I’m getting me some strange this weekend.’ Shelly will come around.”
“I hope you’re right, because as it stands now, she won’t take any of my calls or answer any of my texts.”
I heard the clicking of heels before the yelling began.
“You mother-fucking son-of-a-bitch!”
Great, just what I needed.
I turned and said, “Hey, Sasha,” just as she rounded the corner.
Sasha was impressive even when she wasn’t seething in anger. At about five foot nine with waves of red hair and legs that were a mile long, Sasha made an impression wherever she went.
“Don’t you ‘Hey’ me, you low life. I just heard what you did to Shelly and I came straight here to kick your ass!”
“Did you talk to her?” I asked, brushing my hands on a rag as I walked toward her. I couldn’t keep the worry out of my voice. “How’s she doing?”
Sasha stopped a few feet away and tilted her head, her look puzzled.
“No, I didn’t talk to her, but Gaby has. What’s going on? Did you really cheat on her?” Some of the fight had gone out of her face, and she looked almost as sad as I felt.
I had to get away before I did something embarrassing, like break down.
“Not now, Sasha,” I said with my hands up, before I turned and walked to the back of the shop.
The door didn’t close all the way, so I could hear TJ say to her, “He’s having a hard time too, Sash, and he doesn’t need you coming in here and bustin’ his balls.”
I could just imagine Sasha’s face going from concerned right back to riled up. She and TJ had never been able to get along, but they both loved Shelly and me, so they usually made an attempt to.
“I didn’t ask you, of course you’re going to stick up for him, no matter what he’s done.”
“It’s not like that. You know Cal would never do anything to hurt Shelly. The two of them are like a fifty-year-old married couple. He made a mistake. She’s pissed. They’ll work it out … And they don’t need you making it harder by getting all ‘Amazon Woman’ on Cal.”
“Suck it, TJ,” Sasha said, but her voice sounded less angry.
“What’d you do, hear about it at the coffee house or something and come storming over without getting the facts? You know Cal better than that. Why don’t you cut him some slack and give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s broken up about what happened. Give him a chance to make it right.”
By Sasha’s silence, I knew he was probably pretty accurate. Sasha was well known for her temper, especially when it came to her girls.
“Shit … You’re right. You know you’d react the same way if the shoe was on the other foot. Tell Cal I’m sorry … For now. But if I go and hear the same shit from Shelly that I heard at breakfast I’ll be back.”
“We wouldn’t expect any less,” TJ said, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.
I gave it a few minutes, until I was sure that I’d
be able to hold my shit, then I walked outside.
“Is it safe?” I tried to lighten the mood a bit, although I felt anything but light.
“Yeah,” TJ said with a grin. “She sure is hot when she’s pissed though, huh?”
I chuckled at him. As much as they always got under each other’s skin, I was surprised they’d never hooked up. It was a long-running joke in our group.
The thought of our group being fractured now was another stab to my heart. I’d fucked up more than I thought in one night. And I couldn’t even remember why.
“I’m gonna go see Shelly,” I said suddenly. “Can you cover for me here?”
TJ opened his arms and gestured around the empty bays.
“I think I can handle it.”
“Thanks, brother.”
I hopped in my Mustang and drove down to Shelly’s dad’s house. I knew my way well, I’d spent the last two years of high school driving there as much as possible. Her dad and I had always gotten along well, but by the sound of his voice when I’d tried calling, our days of being pals were over.
I pulled up to the house and looked at it for a minute before getting out, trying to regain the courage I’d had back at the shop. Now that I was here, I was terrified that she still wouldn’t see me.
When I got to the door, I knocked softly and waited, straining to hear if there were any sounds coming from inside the house.
“You probably have to knock loud enough for her to hear you, jackass,” I muttered to myself before closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, and knocking again. Louder this time.
I braced myself when the door started to open, and held my breath as I waited to see if it was going to be Shelly or her dad at the door.
“Hey,” Shelly said softly when she’d opened the door a crack. “What are you doing here?”
I let out the breath I’d been holding and said, “We need to talk, Shelly.”
“I don’t want to talk right now, Cal.”
“Shell, how will we ever work this out if you won’t even talk to me?”
“There’s nothing to work out.”
“Nothing to work out?” I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated, and turned back toward the street so I could breathe for a minute. She looked so upset, I couldn’t stand it.