****
“Mom, please, you can’t go.”
“I have to, Ava.”
“Fine, go, but don’t get in that car with him.”
“You are being ridiculous.”
“Mom, I saw it happen! You can’t get in that car with Dr. Spruce!”
“I have to do this, Ava.”
My mother’s words woke me to the sound of my screams. I was drenched in a cold sweat. A quick glance at my clock told me the time was barely 5 a.m., but there was no way I wanted to fall back asleep. My nightmares were back in full swing and I had had enough for one night. Dragging myself out of bed, I added another tally mark to my crumpled paper, cleaned up, grabbed a coffee and spent my day doing some research for class. My reward for so much work was hitting the gym. Six miles relieved me of most of my anxiety and I felt better when I returned to my dorm. A new email from Mia awaited me.
She was gushing about Jack. He had finally asked her out on a real date. Even as beautiful and as nice as Mia is, she has the worst luck with guys, and I was happy she had found someone that made her happy.
Halfway through my reply to Mia, the bathroom door swung open and Emily and Viola trooped in.
“Hey, Ava,” Emily said, throwing herself on my bed, “you want to come to Rory’s party with us tonight? They're usually pretty fun.”
“Actually,” I said as I bit down on my bottom lip, “I am going, but Rory is picking me up.” I grimaced.
Emily had a grin from ear to ear.
“I knew he was into you! I knew it!” she exclaimed. “You two are going to hook up before the end of the night, I bet you!”
“Em, I swear we're just friends! Nothing more than that!” I laughed and shook my head at her.
“We’ll see,” Emily said with a smile as she and Vi left my room to get ready.
I finished my quick email to Mia by demanding details, then hopped in the shower.
Nervous and unsure, I took my time getting ready, making sure everything was perfect. I left my hair loose, falling down my back and paid special attention to the little amount of makeup I wore.
The question of what to wear was a difficult one. Not sure what outfit would be best, I stared into the darkness of my closet until I finally settled on a short denim skirt and a distressed, gray hooded sweatshirt. Paring the clothes with some cute black flip-flops, I was finally ready to go. I walked outside with Emily and Viola and waited for Rory.
He appeared right at seven, just as he had said he would. What his parents did for a living I had no idea, but his car was awesome – a black 1983 jaguar xj6 in mint condition. Super expensive car, I knew for a fact. Actually I had already decided all of the cars I had seen at DPI were too nice for eighteen year olds. In Chicago nearly everyone had walked to school or took public transportation. We also had worn uniforms – they were mandatory – so no one really stood out . . . except me, of course. Somehow, though, I didn’t stand out at Dana Point. People gave me a quick look, accepted what they saw and then moved on. Being accepted was an odd feeling, nice but definitely surreal.
Rory’s house was only fifteen minutes away from school, at least for him. Then again, he sped the whole way there and I had no idea how long the trip would have taken me. I do know that we passed Emily on the highway and beat her there by five minutes.
Rory’s home was beautiful. It sat right in front of the beach and was huge. Inside, the main floor rooms were packed with people. Rory introduced me to his mother, Gianna, and his dad, Thais. Gianna gave me a huge hug and pinched me on the cheek, telling me how nice it was to meet me. She was short with reddish brown hair and olive colored skin. Her nails were nicely manicured and she was impeccably dressed. Rory’s older brother, Nick, was there too and he gave me a one-armed-hug and told me it was nice to see me again.
Rory threw open the fridge and grabbed a beer and then we walked outside towards the beach, Rory swaggering just a bit in the way that some guys do. In fact, Rory reminded me of a frat guy -- he nearly always wore a baseball hat, khaki shorts and a hooded sweatshirt. He was stocky, but in the ‘I work out’ kind of way. Nevertheless, no matter how hard I might try to “like” him, Rory would just never be my type. My thoughts made a transition to Ari and I immediately shook my head and concentrated on walking on the sandy beach.
A fire was blazing and the crowd around it was enormous. There were many people there I recognized from school. I saw Julia and some of the girls from the ninth floor that she hung around with. Collin, Nick’s friend, was there. I thought I saw Ari out of the corner of my eye but I refused to let myself look for him.
I hung around Rory for a while but branched off to talk with Emily and Viola after an hour or so. Viola had just officially started dating Sam and she ditched us as soon as he joined the party. Emily and I shared a beach chair and talked with a few more of her friends for quite some time. Eventually, I set off in search of a bathroom.
I walked up to the house; everything was quiet. Everybody, it seemed, was outside on the beach, schmoozing and admiring the bonfire. I walked through the kitchen and into a hallway, trying to remember what Rory had said was behind the various doors. I opened a door at the end of the hall thinking it opened to a powder room, but quickly discovered I was very wrong.
The room was dark but thanks to the moonlight, I could see Rory on bed energetically making out with someone. He jumped up, still fully clothed, thank goodness, and stuttered out an agonized apology.
“Holy hell, Ava, I am so sorry. I swear this isn’t what it looks like.”
I put my hands up in a surrendering way and tried to back out of the room.
“It’s totally fine, Rory. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I said, and I eased the door shut behind me. A second closed door did reveal a bathroom, which I used before bolting back outside in search of fresh air. I was too caught up in the surprise to even notice who had been with him, and I really didn’t care. Rory and I were friends and that was all I had ever intended for us.
I couldn’t help but feel a little discouraged, though, discouraged and lonely. The only real people I had in my life were Margaux and Mia. Mia was half way across the country and Margaux was only in my life because she had to be; I was sure I would never see her again once I turned eighteen. I walked through Rory’s back yard and sat down on one of the two old wooden swings they had hanging from a tree. I found myself wishing I had not agreed to come to the party at all. I sat there for a while trying to talk myself out of crying when a soft, deep voice startled me.
“Hey, Ava, what are you doing out here all alone?”
Oh, holy hell, I inwardly swooned. I loved hearing Ari say my name. It made me want to melt.
“Um,” I said stalling, looking for words, “I’m just waiting for Rory to finish up in there so I can get a ride home.”
Ari laughed quietly as he took a seat in the open swing, sitting in the opposite direction so he was facing me.
“You saw that, huh? Unfortunately so did I.”
I nodded, agreeing that finding Rory making out with someone in the dark had been an unfortunate discovery.
“Look,” Ari said rubbing the stubble on his cheeks, “Rory really likes you a lot, Ava. Don’t take that scene in there too personally.”
I rolled my eyes at Ari.
“Rory and I are just friends. He can do whatever he wants.”
Ari looked at me, realization lighting up his eyes.
“Ah. . .so. . . you really are okay?”
“Yes, of course I am. We’re just friends. Regrettably, tonight he is also my ride. Why? Are you okay?”
My tone was slightly sarcastic, but he answered me honestly anyway. Ari gave me his megawatt smile and said, “Ava, I have never been better.”
Ari stood up and grabbed my hand, sending a tingling flash of heat all though my body. He pulled me to my feet with ease and held me close to him. I breathed in his sweet scent just before he took a step towards the back gate, taking me along with him.
He didn’t let go of my hand as he led me through the crowd and down the beach. I didn’t really care where he was leading me. The fact that my hand was in his was turning my brains to mush. Ari walked me up to the back of a neighboring house and led me onto the deck.
The house was enormous and the entire back was glass, ensuring a view of the ocean from nearly every room. The back deck was unlike anything I had ever seen. A beautiful pool took up the center space. An outdoor fireplace surrounded by cozy, intimate seating was to one side of the pool and on the other side was a full bar, a hot tub and more couches and chairs.
Ari slid the glass door to the house open and invited me in with him. The inside of the house was even more stunning than the outside. There were very few walls to break the vision, dark hardwood covered the floors, and various shades of creams and fawn softened the walls. The furniture was plush and comfortable looking. Everything was elegant, yet the overall feeling I got from the house was one of welcome. I took a cautious step through the door as Ari yelled, “Hello!”
In response, a beautiful, younger, girl-version of Ari appeared.
“What are you doing home so early?” the girl asked him. “And who is this?” she added with a sly smile.
Ari ignored her first question and said, “Ava, this is my sister, Lauren.”
Lauren strolled the rest of the way into the kitchen and actually gave me a hug; she caught me off guard but for whatever reason I was surprised to find that my usual aversion to being physically near other people didn’t kick in; I didn’t mind her being close to me at all. In fact, the hug was quite nice.
“Please, please tell me that you are Ari’s new girlfriend.”
I actually laughed aloud at her boldness, and my laugh turned Ari’s horrified expression into a relieved smile.
“No,” I responded, “I’m definitely not – sorry to disappoint you.”
Lauren released me from her hug and shrugged, then turned her attention back to Ari.
“So what are you doing then?”
“Leaving,” he answered her simply.
“You’ve got to be joking! You just got here. I’ve hardly even gotten to talk to you.”
“I’m not joking. I’ve been home all day; it’s not my fault you were grounded and couldn’t go next door.”
His response was in a sardonic tone, but a playful grin never left his lips. Lauren looked dejected at the idea of Ari leaving and the sweetness of their relationship made me smile. Most of the brothers and sisters I knew couldn’t stand to be around each other.
“Why are you leaving, anyway?” She asked him.
“I am taking Ava back to campus and I don’t feel like driving all the way back here just to fall asleep. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“Ugh,” Lauren pouted. “What time are you coming tomorrow then?”
“Jeez, what’s with the twenty questions tonight, Lauren?”
She just stared at him and waited for him to answer.
“Fine,” he started, “I’ll be here in the afternoon and I will be at your beck and call for the rest of the day.”
This seemed to appease her and she smiled up at him.
“Are you going to come too, Ava?” she asked catching me completely off guard for the second time.
“Uh, no, I’m not,” I said, looking at her out of the corner of my eye.
Lauren opened her mouth to make another comment, but just then, a gorgeous woman walked through the door to the patio, trailed by a clean-cut, handsome older man.
Oh, my gosh, I know this guy.
Well, I didn’t really know him but I had seen him at my grandfather’s memorial service. He had spoken from the podium. He and my grandpa had run a foundation together. My grandpa had been an eager advocate for helping children get out of the foster care system and placing them in more permanent homes. After Ari's dad had finished his comments, I accidently bumped into him, causing his coffee to spill onto his shirt and suit. I hoped like hell that he didn’t recognize me.
I saw Ari sigh and tilt his head back in annoyance. The woman had a grin on her face that stretched from ear to ear.
“Ava,” Ari said, and once again, I felt as if I might melt, “these are my parents Aggie and Andrew.” Aggie came over and hugged me just as Rory’s mother had.
“Ari has told me all about you.”
Shocked by her comment, I peeked over at Ari to see him grimace at his mom.
“What are you two doing?” she spoke sweetly before letting me go. Ari repeated what he had told his sister, explaining that we were on our way out and that he was taking me back to campus since Rory had screwed the pooch and that he would be back the next day in the afternoon.
“Ok, honey,” she said. “Ava, will you be joining us tomorrow as well?”
I repeated the answer I had given Lauren, but, unlike Lauren, Aggie did not plan to take “no” for an answer.
“But, Ava, we would absolutely love to have you join us,” she said in an honest, welcoming way, as if my coming to crash their Sunday afternoon of family time was exactly, precisely, what she had been hoping for.
Thankfully, Ari stepped in and told them that we had to leave. They said goodbye, each family member hugging him in turn, and he pulled me out of the house and into the garage. He opened the passenger-side door to a white Range Rover and I climbed in. The whole car smelled like him and I felt as though I could wrap myself up in the delicious scent. The slamming of his car door brought me back to reality.
“Sorry about that. They can be a little overly enthusiastic.”
“Oh no, don’t apologize – they're really sweet.”
“Yeah, they are,” he said fondly as he pulled out of the driveway onto the street. About a thousand questions milled about in my mind. There was just so much I wanted to ask him, but I kept my mouth shut. The possibility of saying something stupid was just too likely.
Ari had Ra Ra Riot playing through the speakers and turned up “Can You Tell,” a truly awesome song, and started to sing along with the tune. I couldn’t help but laugh while he hit his hands on the wheel along with the beat. I found myself liking him even more than I already secretly did.
“What’s so funny? This is a great song.”
“I agree,” I grinned. “I just didn’t know you were the Ra Ra Riot type.”
“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Ava Baio,” he said in a semi-playful tone.
We drove the rest of the way in silence. He held the entrance door to the building open for me and called for the elevator. We stepped on the lift together and this time, I was on one wall of the elevator and he stayed on the opposite side.
“Um . . . ” I said trying to fill the empty silence, “ . . . thanks a lot for the ride. I appreciate it, but you didn’t have to.”
“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to, and you are most welcome, Ava.”
When we got to the twelfth floor, I found that I didn’t at all feel like sleeping. Ari and I were the only two on the floor. Everybody else was either still at Rory’s or had gone home for the weekend. I took advantage of the quiet hall and sat at the piano. Ari sat on the couch, turned CNN on and then muted it, preferring to read the running tape of news at the bottom of the screen. My mom used to do the very same thing and suddenly I felt nostalgic and sad. I turned and faced the piano keys and began to play.
Whenever I sing along with the piano, I sing in French, giving in to a habit I could not shake. For me, songs rendered in English lack the emotion and beauty the French language can elicit. This time I played my favorite Coeur De Pirate song, “Place de la Republique,” and when I was done I stood up and turned back to go to my room. Ari had been watching me, staring at me really. Right away, I was self-conscious.
“That was incredible. How long have you been able to do that?”
“Thanks, but it wasn’t incredible. It was just ok . . .and I started playing the piano when I was three.”
I took another step towards my room and h
e spoke again.
“How did you learn to sing in French like that?”
“Uh,” I said, “French is actually my first language. I lived in Montréal until I was thirteen.”
Because my mother’s native language was English, both French and English had been used in my home on a daily basis. When I am around English-speaking people, I speak English without an accent. My French usually throws people off when they first hear me using it, and then I get peppered with a hundred different questions.
Ari just gave me a smile and said, “Oh. Well, that song was really pretty.”
“Thank you,” I said in a small voice. “Goodnight.”
“Good night, Ava,” Ari said, sending a delightful heat all through my body.
I made my way to my room and put on a camisole and a pair of silky pajama bottoms. I pulled down the blanket and right before I shoved my pillow over my head I heard Ari’s door shut. I was comforted for some reason to know that there was only a small wall in between us. I felt safe. I tried to suppress this insubstantial feeling of security, based as it was on a flimsy drywall barrier, and push Ari out of my thoughts.