The rest of the week went by in a haze. My mind was clouded with questions. My emotions bounced back and forth from fear and worry about what was going to happen to me and then to giddiness and butterflies whenever I thought of Ari. I lived more for the nights now than for the days. Admitting my preoccupation with Ari made me angry with myself, but there was no use denying it.
My nightmares were scary and confusing. In some of them, my mom died over and over. In others, Mia was the one getting in the front seat of the car with Dr. Spruce. Dreams about running abounded – not running for the joy it has always given me, but running to get away from something or, maybe, find something. I never really knew. The worst dreams, though, were new ones. In them, I was the main character, crying and shivering on a box spring with no mattress, no sheets or any blankets. My body was emaciated, the bony framework easily seen, and I pulled hard on my hair. I screamed as though being tortured, yet there was no one else with me in the space.
Ari came in to my room every single night. His first question was always the same: “Do you want to talk about it?”
My answer was always the same, “no,” and he never pushed me to tell him anything. He simply moved on to a new topic. Ari was an expert at coming up with thought-provoking conversation. He had a new non-threatening question for me every night.
Monday night he came to my room an hour after we said goodnight. He checked to make sure I was all right and sat a few feet away from me on the edge of my bed. He looked out my window.
“What things do you hate, Ava?”
I stopped and thought about it for a moment. “I hate not being in control.”
“That’s a good answer. I haven’t heard that one before. What I hate more than anything in the world is being lied to. Do you lie?”
“Yes,” I answered honestly. “Everyone tells lies, Ari.”
“Yeah, you’re right unfortunately.” He shifted his gaze from the window to me.
“I will not lie to you. Try not to lie to me, ok?”
“Ok.”
“Omitting the truth is a lie.”
“I agree.”
He smiled. “Good because I want to learn as much as I can about you, but if you lie, the game is pointless and I won’t play anymore.”
“How many people do you play this game with?”
He shook his head and smiled some more. “At midnight?” He looked at me from under his lashes. “Just you.” He moved on to another question down his list.
“What distracts you?”
“You distract me, Ari.” I didn’t need any time to think about my answer. In all my life, I have never found a stronger distraction than Ari Alexander.
His eyes shot up playfully and a very sly smile spread across his face.
“I’ll let you sleep then.” He stood up to leave and my heart sank.
“Sleep well, Ava. And if you need anything, you know where to find me.” He pointed at the wall between our two rooms and left.