Montréal is by far one of the best cities to live in; there is always something to do. For the first few weeks of our summer sojourn, we stayed busy with art shows and exhibitions, concerts and visits to parks. We dined at Accords Wine Bar and Aix Cuisine du Terroir, two of the absolute best places to eat in Montréal, and after a month, we were all drained.
Ari and I were able to stay on our “best behavior.” I think the fact that we had set a date and that I had decided that I really did want to wait helped ease some of the pressure and helped keep my mind clear. I learned to focus on Ari and the rest of the world at the same time, although doing so took a lot of practice.
There were a few times that Ari slept on the couch because of me, and a few times because of our noisy neighbors in the room down the hall. Some nights both of us moved down to the couch and August was close behind us.
“Hey, Baby,” Ari whispered in my ear one morning after he, August and myself had all crashed in the living room the night before, and I was dog-tired.
“We’re out of coffee and creamer and, well, a bunch of stuff…August and I are going to the market.”
“Mmm,” I mumbled in return. I felt a kiss on my forehead and shortly after heard the front door close.
Dreams came to me. . .images of Ari floated into my mind, scenes of a wedding danced in my unconscious thoughts and then faded away. I saw images of all of the people that I love, together on the beach. Dreams of Ari and Rory sitting together in the sand on a breezy clear night came and went in my mind. The images seemed to be happy ones, but my body responded to them with fear. I felt trapped and scared and I was starting to panic. A window, small and rectangular, appeared in my mind and all I could see from it was the low-hung moon, hauntingly full and bright white, taunting me.
I woke up dripping in a cold sweat; my throat was sore and my voice nearly gone. Julia and a fat-lipped Rory were leaning over me.
“What the hell is going on?” I screamed in a panic.
“You tell us, Ava. You’ve been screaming for ten minutes straight. I tried to wake you but you punched me in the lip.”
I looked down and noticed my swollen knuckle.
“Oh gosh, Rory, I’m so sorry. I was having a nightmare, I think, but ….” I shook my head. There had been nothing scary about my dream and no amount of mulling it over could explain the terror I evidently had felt.
I climbed into the shower, turning the water icy cold to wash the unknown fears away.