"That he is," Travis said. He looked both tired and energized, happy and worried.
"What'd you decide to name 'em?" Dad asked.
Travis clapped his hands together, already proud of the name. "Carter Travis Maddox."
Everyone gasped and then laughed with glee.
"That won't be confusing at all!" Trenton said. Dad smacked him on the back of the head. "Ow!" He rubbed the back of his head. "What'd I say?"
"James, Ezra, Hollis, Eli, Emerson, Gavin, and Carter Maddox," America said. "Poor Jess, Hadley, and Stella."
"Ten," Dad said, sitting up a bit taller. "I have ten grandkids so far."
"So far," Trenton said. "We're going to add to that soon."
Camille offered a contrived smile. I couldn't tell if she was tired or had lost hope.
"I'm going to head back," Travis said.
"Can I go with you?" America asked. Travis nodded; she hopped up, kissed her husband goodbye, and they were gone.
We settled back in our seats for the fourth or fifth round in the short time we'd been there. Everyone was quiet at first, settling in, exhausted and happy to be together. I could still see the shock in Ellie, Falyn, and Taylor's eyes that I felt. We were feet away from three deaths, and we still weren't sure how to process it. I wasn't even sure if we should bring it up.
Dad finally spoke up. "We should all try to get some sleep. Liis will be here in the morning."
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
TRENTON
"DID YOU KNOW, DAD? About Thomas?" Tyler asked.
"Which part?" he answered.
"That's he's FBI."
I laughed but seemed to be the only one in on the joke. I shook my head. "No way. Tommy's an FBI agent?" I glanced around, my gaze pausing on my wife. Her cheeks flushed. "You knew?" I asked, hurt.
"Baby," Camille said, reaching for me. I backed away. A few hours before, I was ready to punch someone if they didn't let me go get her from work. Now, I wasn't sure I could look at her. "Dad?" I said. "You knew, too?"
Dad was quiet for a long time and then nodded. "Yes. Since the beginning."
Tyler frowned. "How?"
Dad shrugged. "I picked up on little things. I do pay attention, you know."
"What else do you know?" Taylor asked.
Dad smiled and pressed his lips together. "I know everything, son. You're my boys. It's my job to know."
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"We're, um," Taylor began. "We don't sell insurance."
Ellie had taken Tyler's hand before he spoke. "We're firefighters."
"No shit," I said, in shock. "Am I the only one who's not lying about their career?"
"Well," Ellie said. "If Thomas isn't in advertising, then Travis didn't take over for him."
Everyone looked around at one another for answers.
Ellie raised her brows. "Or maybe he did, just not as an ad exec."
"No way," I said. "Travis a fed?" I glanced at Camille, who looked sheepish. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I stood.
Dad's brows pulled together. "Trenton. Language."
"You've known all this time about my brothers? And kept it from me? What the fuck, Cami?"
She stood, too, holding out her hands. "It wasn't my secret to tell."
"Bullshit," I said, pointing to the floor. "I'm your husband. You don't keep secrets from me ... about my own brothers. It's already happened once, and I forgave you, but Cami ..." I walked away from her, my hands on my head.
"Trent," she said, surprise and hurt in her voice.
When I returned to where she stood, I noticed everyone else trying to look everywhere but at us. I'd seen my brothers argue with their wives, and it was always awkward as fuck, but we didn't have a choice but to stand there and hash it out. I couldn't yell at Thomas because he was fighting for his life halfway across the country. I couldn't yell at Travis because he was with his wife who'd just had a new baby. I turned to Camille but just shook my head. Her eyes filled with tears, so I looked away.
I pointed at the twins then set my hands on my hips. I was breathing hard as if I'd just ran a mile up a steep hill. "What if something had happened to you guys? That's how you're going to let me find out? Like I did with Tommy?"
"We were keeping it from Dad," Tyler said. His voice was low and calm as if he was talking someone off a ledge. That only made me angrier, as if they thought I was overreacting.
"Why?" I yelled.
"You don't remember, Trenton," Taylor said. "He promised Mom to keep us safe. She didn't want him in law enforcement. She didn't want any of us following his footsteps. I'm sure Thomas lied for the same reason we did. We loved our jobs, but we didn't want to hurt Dad."
"So we all just lie to each other? That's how this family works now?" I seethed.
"I knew," Dad said. "I knew, and I didn't tell you because the boys were keeping it from us for a reason. I didn't keep it from ya because I love them more, son. It simply wasn't my place."
I shook my head again, hands on hips, pacing. Camille tried reaching out to me, but I yanked my arm away. Everything I knew about my brothers was a lie. Their experiences in the field, their colleagues, their training--I'd missed out on it all. But my wife knew.
"Did you know about Taylor and Tyler, too?" I asked Camille. She shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "And now look at us. Tommy's hurt. We're being babysat by federal agents. People are trying to kill us!"
"Keep your voice down," Tyler said.
"Fuck you!" I snapped back, still pacing.
Tyler stood up, but Dad held up a hand. "Sit down, son."
I pointed at Camille. "You've already lied to me once. Now I find out you never stopped? What am I ... what am I supposed to do with that, Camille?"
"Don't call me that," she said. It was what her father called her when he was angry, and what Thomas called her when he was chastising her for being upset at not being put first. I always put her first. I fucking worshiped her, and she'd been lying to me. My whole family had, one way or another.
"You're lucky that's all I'm calling you," I growled.
Camille's mouth fell open, and the wives gasped.
"That's enough," Ellie fumed.
Shepley stood. "Let's go get some coffee, Trent."
Travis rounded the corner with America, the smile on his face fading. "She's ready for more visitors," he said, looking around. "Everything all right?"
"You've been lying to me?" I asked.
Travis blanched. "I'm ... not allowed to discuss details until tomorrow when Liis arrives."
I took a step toward him. "We're your family, Travis. You and Tommy aren't in some secret fucking club where you get to gamble with our lives. And you don't ask my wife to lie to me for you."
"That's not what I was doing, Trent. I didn't have a choice in the beginning, and it wasn't my decision to tell Cami or to ask her to lie."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "But you went along with it."
Travis took a step toward me. "I had to, or I was going to prison for being involved in that fire on campus."
I balled my hands into fists. I wasn't sure who or what I wanted to punch, but it was just seconds away.
Dad stood up and put a hand on my shoulder. He wobbled a bit, making my rage dwindle. I helped steady him, and then he brought me in for a hug, holding on tight when I tried to let go. He held me until the anger subsided. I helped him back to the bench and then I sat on a section of the bench in the corner. Camille took a step toward me, and I held up my hand. "Don't."
Ellie patted the empty space next to her, and Camille sat down, her bottom lip trembling.
"So," Taylor began. "You're a fed. Thomas is a fed, and this is all because of some case you're working on?"
Travis took a deep breath, looked at Agent Blevins and Agent Davies, and then emptied his lungs. "Fuck it." He sat down next to Dad, resting his elbows on his knees, and put his hands together like he was praying, touching his fingers to his lips. He sat up. "I was there that
night ... when the building at Eastern caught fire. I'd talked Trenton into staying with Abby while I went toe-to-toe with John Savage. It was a small basement. Too small for a final fight. We'd almost been busted once, so Adam wouldn't allow any lights. We just had a few lanterns hanging from the ceiling. There was ..." he trailed off, remembering, "furniture covered in sheets lining the room and the main hallway. A lantern fell, and the whole place went up in flames in seconds. I was separated from Abby and Trent, and I had to go find them. I found Abby, but didn't find Trent until later. Scariest night of my life."
I sunk back, realizing I'd been lying for years, too. I'd lied to the FBI about being in the building when it caught fire, and only Travis and Abby knew that I'd left Abby because I was scared. I waited for him to out me.
Travis continued, "A lot of kids died that night. Adam was arrested. I knew I was next, even though Abby had concocted a plan for us to go to Vegas and get married to try to make it seem like we weren't."
America looked up at Travis. "You knew about that?"
I looked down. I knew about that, too, and kept it from him. Fuck, now I'm a hypocrite. I thought we were a tight family. Turns out we were just spiders caught in our web of lies. I felt my face flush. The anger was returning.
"How could I not? She suddenly wanted to run off to Vegas an hour after we'd escaped a fire. After our classmates had died? Either she was crazy, callous, or concocting a plan. Whichever it was, I was desperate to be her husband. I ignored it. Probably not the most honest thing to do. Thankfully," he said, gesturing toward Abby's room, "it worked out."
"But that agent," I said. "He came to the house. He was asking about you. They didn't just buy the Vegas wedding story, did they?"
"I was given a choice," Travis said.
"But why you?" Tyler asked. "Why not Adam ... why--"
"Mick Abernathy," Dad said.
"I'm not sure if you're lucky or not," Taylor said.
"So how does Tommy fit into all of this?" I asked. "He was a fed before that. Long before that, I'd guess." I looked at Camille, who was still staying maddeningly quiet. "Even now?" I asked her. "It's all coming out, and you're just going to sit there ... loyal to him?"
"She couldn't tell you, Trent," Travis said. "It was a safety issue."
I stood, looking around, holding out my hands. "Because we're all safe now? Awake at three a.m. with two ... sorry, three feds babysitting us to make sure whoever you pissed off doesn't gun down our kids?"
"I know it sounds bad, and I understand you're angry. And it's not over yet. I'm sorry, Trent, I really am. I never meant for any of this to happen."
Travis being so patient and calm only made me angrier. I took a step toward him, but Camille stood between us.
"Trenton!" she yelled, holding up her hands.
"Travis, go back to your wife," Dad said. "Trenton, sit your ass down. Now. We're not going to understand tonight, and we don't have to. What's important is keeping our family safe."
I grudgingly sat down, obeying my father. He was feeble. Not nearly the intimidating man I remembered from my childhood, but he was my dad, and he deserved my respect.
Camille took a few steps toward me, asking permission without using words. I scooted over and held out my arm, and she rushed to sit next to me, burying her face in my neck and wrapping her arms around my middle. Deep down, I knew her keeping Thomas's secret wasn't a matter of her choosing to be loyal to him or honest with me, but it was hard to push that completely from my mind. I hugged her to my side, but only because I refused to let a seven-minute-old feeling of betrayal overshadow the love I'd felt for Camille for most of my life.
"Is Abby sleeping?" Ellie asked.
"She can't," America answered. "She wants to see Carter. They're supposed to tell us soon when she can."
"I'd like to see her if I can," Ellie said.
"Me too," Falyn said.
Travis gestured for them to follow, and they trailed behind him. Falyn turned to me with an unmistakable warning glare not to upset Camille while she was gone. I sighed and kissed my wife's hair. She was quietly sniffing, her body jerking against me. Still, I couldn't bring myself to say it was going to be okay. I didn't know if it would be or not. I wondered what new heartbreak the next day would bring and how much more our family could take.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
TRAVIS
I WALKED INTO ABBY'S BIRTHING SUITE with Falyn and Ellie, instantly regretting bringing anyone but Carter. My wife's face lit up for a fraction of a second, and then she tried to hide her disappointment with her sweet smile.
"We can go see him in a few minutes," I assured her.
Abby's hair was barely sprouting out of a low ponytail. Pieces had fallen out to frame her face. Her eyes were still red from delivery and then the tears after. I'd never seen her as devastated as the moment they took our son away.
"He's beautiful," Ellie said with a smile.
"You saw him?" Abby asked. She sat up on the bed and tucked the loose strands of her hair behind her ear.
"In the hall. He's just at the end of this wing," Falyn said.
"That's comforting." Abby's eyes began to gloss over, and she looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears.
"It's okay to cry," Ellie said, taking the chair closest to the bed. "You've had a long day. You're exhausted. Your hormones are going nuts."
Abby wiped her cheeks. "I don't want to cry."
I sat down on the bed next to her, holding her hand. Several pieces of tape secured her IV that was now delivering antibiotics to stave off the infection that had caused her premature labor. She'd tried everything to get her contractions to slow down naturally, but the harder she tried, the more intense and closer together they were. When the doctor told her we were going to have a baby, she broke down. She had such a normal delivery with the twins, we were surprised that a single birth was anything but a breeze.
I knew more than just the infection was to blame. She also had the added stress surrounding my fucking job. Not only was I going to devastate my family to protect them, but it had put my wife and newborn son in danger. I was going to find a way to walk away from the FBI after this. Thomas and I would be lucky if our family was still intact.
"Stop," Abby said, seeing the expression on my face. "There was nothing we could do. It's just one of those things."
"And he's okay," Ellie said. "He was wailing like a banshee all the way down the hall. Strong lungs with the temper of a Maddox. He's golden."
"Do you think we'll be able to take him home?" she asked, suddenly hopeful.
I patted her hand. "Probably not. Not right away, anyway. But let's wait for an update from the NICU before we get too upset."
"You mean before I get too upset," she said.
I raised her hand to my lips and closed my eyes. The guilt was almost too much to bear. I was glad Dad had stepped in when he did with Trenton because I was desperate to go back to the days when I could punch my way out of things. Nineteen seemed like a lifetime ago, and quite frankly, adulting blowed. It was so much easier to lose my shit and start swinging rather than to listen to Trenton being an insecure dick stick and having to be the bigger person when all I was trying to do was save his life.
"Baby," Abby said, watching as my inner turmoil began to seep out.
"Trenton found out about the FBI," Ellie said. "And that Cami already knew. He's taking it pretty hard."
Abby looked at me. "He's taking it out on you."
"Who else is he going to take it out on?" I grumbled.
Abby's fingers intertwined in mine. "Just a little longer."
I nodded, knowing we couldn't say any more in front of Ellie and Falyn.
Abby recounted the moments of her labor and delivery, and they all cried again when she detailed watching the nurses wheel Carter out of the room. The sisters hugged, and then Ellie and Falyn returned to the hall outside the waiting room to check on their families.
Abby sighed, resting her head back against her
pillow.
"Want me to lay the bed flat?" I asked.
She shook her head, wincing and pressing gently on her abdomen. "You should try to sleep. You've got a long day tomorrow."
"You mean today?"
Abby looked up at the clock on the wall. "Liis will land in a few hours. The nurse said the recliner lays nearly flat."
I stood up and nodded, walking around the hospital bed to the mauve recliner nearby. The nurse had already set a couple of folded blankets and a pillow in a stack on the seat. The recliner made a scraping sound against the floor as I pushed it closer to her bed. I sat down and shook out a blanket, pulled the lever, and leaned back.
Abby used the remote to turn out the lights, and for a few precious moments, it was quiet. Just as I felt myself drift off, the door opened, and I could hear the nurse swishing around the room. She turned on the dim overhead lamp just above Abby's bed.
"Hi there, Mrs. Maddox. I thought you might want to try pumping." She lifted a small machine with tubes and what looked like a mini air horn.
Abby looked horrified. "Why?"
"Carter isn't going to be strong enough to suckle just yet, so we'll have to feed him through a tube. We have a special preemie formula, but if you prefer, your milk is best. Is that something you'd like to try?"
"I ..." she trailed off, looking at the pump. It was completely foreign to her. She'd breast-fed our twins, but she stayed at home, so she'd never used a pump. "I'm not even sure if I have anything to pump."
"You'd be surprised," the nurse said. "His stomach is smaller than a marble, so he won't need much."
"And it's okay with the antibiotics?" she asked, holding up her hand. I was so proud of her. Even exhausted, Abby thought to ask questions that wouldn't even cross my mind.
"Completely safe," the nurse said.
"Oookay," Abby said. She listened as the nurse gave her instructions. When we were alone again, she looked at the tubes and container with contempt.
I sat up. "Want me to help?"
"Absolutely not," she said.
"I can just--"
"No, Travis. If I'm going to have to sit here with this thing on me like a milk cow, you're not going to help. You're not going to watch."
"Baby, it's not a bad thing. You're doing it for our son."
"It just feels very ... personal."
"Okay," I said, leaving the pile of blankets behind in the recliner. "You're sure?"