“I started yelling at her and then I gave her an ultimatum. I told her that it was either the drugs or me and that I’d had enough. I couldn’t live like that anymore. She told me that as much as she loved me, she couldn’t give up the drugs. So I told her we were over, and as I walked away, she ran after me and grabbed my arm, begging me not to go. I turned to her, took hold of her arms, and begged her to stop the drugs. I told her that I would check her into rehab the next morning and if she wouldn’t go, I would walk away. She looked me straight in the eye, and after a few moments of silence, she agreed to go. I held her tight and told her how much I loved her. She asked me if I could go into the house and get her some aspirin and a glass of water. When I came back out, I couldn’t find her anywhere. I screamed her name over and over again. It was so dark out except for the lights from the boats in the water out in the distance. A fear came over me and I started to panic as I ran down to the beach and found a trail of her clothes leading to the water. I yelled her name over and over again as I kicked off my shoes, tore off my shirt and ran into the water. Charles and a couple other guys heard me screaming for her and they came running down, asking me what was going on. I couldn’t find her, and just like that, she was gone. Charles called 911 and the police were out within a few minutes. The search went on for a few days, but they never did find her body.”
Aubrey scooted closer to where I was sitting and placed her hands firmly on my shoulders.
“I’m so sorry, Ethan. I can’t even imagine.”
“She died because of me. Because of the ultimatum I gave her. Had I never told her that I would leave, she wouldn’t have gone into the ocean and killed herself.”
“You don’t know that. She was messed up from the drugs. What happened to her was not your fault. You have to believe that.”
“That’s what everyone who knows what happened told me. But in the end, it was my words that led her to the water.”
Chapter 27
Aubrey
I reached over and wrapped my arms around him. My heart felt so much sadness as he told his story that it took everything I had not to break down. I now saw him in a different light. He blamed himself for Sophia’s death and had been carrying that around with him all these years. I understood all too well about guilt and having the burden of it take over your life. I broke our embrace and placed my hands on each side of his face.
“Thank you for telling me. I know how hard that was for you.”
“I wanted you to know why I am the way I am.” He removed my hands and held them in his. “After her death, I buried myself into my work, started Klein Technology, and devoted my life to it. I live, eat, and breathe that company. I don’t make time for anyone or anything else. I like you, Aubrey. I really do, and I don’t want to hurt you anymore. You don’t deserve it. All I want is to make love to you more than anything else in the world, but I can’t commit to anything and I know you want more.”
Even after confessing to me about Sophia, he was still frightened. I wanted to take away his pain, but would I be happy just being a casual fling? Would it be selfish of me to keep having sex with him with the hopes that he’d change his mind down the road? Or would I be setting myself up for an even worse heartbreak? I wasn’t that type of person. Or was I? I didn’t know because I had never been in a situation like this before. All I knew was, at that moment, I wanted him and he wanted me. He could have gone and had sex with any woman he wanted, but he was here, with me.
Letting go of his hands, I gripped the bottom of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Reaching back, I unhooked my bra and slid it off, tossing it onto the floor. The sharp intake of his breath heighted my excitement as I took his hands and placed them firmly on my breasts.
“Are you sure, Aubrey?” he asked with a whisper.
“Yes.”
While one hand firmly gripped my breast, he placed his other hand on my cheek. I could feel the warmth of his breath sweep across my face. Instead of our lips meeting for the first time, his tongue trailed along my neck. It felt so good to be touched by him again. He leaned me back on the couch so I was lying down, and while his mouth made its way to my breasts, his hand slid down my torso and unbuttoned my pants. He sat up and pulled them off and his fingers traced the outline of my lips through the silk fabric of my panties. Before I knew it, his head was buried between my legs and my panties were off in a split second. His mouth wasted no time devouring me as I arched my back, forcing him to go deeper. Subtle moans rumbled in his throat as he explored my opening, flicking his tongue in and out and making small circles around my clit. The pleasure built inside me. He took his fingers and tugged at my hardened nipples as his mouth sent my body into an explosive orgasm. I let out a low moan as my breath escaped me and my heart raced faster than the speed of light.
He didn’t speak a word as he sat up and pulled me on top, my knees straddling him. Slowly lowering myself onto his hard cock, I gasped as did he while I took his entire length inside me.
“God, you feel so good,” he whispered in my ear.
His hands stayed firmly on my hips as I slowly moved up and down, taking in the moment that I didn’t want to end. As much as I was enjoying this, I wanted him to kiss me. I needed to feel his lips on mine, but I wouldn’t force it or him. He had his reasons for why he never kissed me. Another orgasm was on its way as I tightened my grip on his shoulders and he tightened his grip on my hips.
“Come for me, baby. I need to feel you come all over my cock,” he panted as he thrust his hips and deepened inside me.
Letting out the sound of ecstasy, my body gave in as the rush of warmth over his cock elated him.
“That’s it. Oh God. Yes.” He strained as he held my hips in place and exploded inside me.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I laid my head on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around me and held on tight. I prayed that he’d stay the night. I knew it was something he didn’t do, but in light of our recent conversation, I hoped he’d change his mind. He stood up, telling me to hold on as he carried me to the bedroom and set me on the edge of the bed. He pulled back the covers and I climbed under them, pulling the sheet up over my naked body. I was a nervous wreck that he was getting ready to leave. But instead, he climbed in on the other side, wrapped his arm around me, and pulled me into him.
“You don’t mind if I stay the night, do you?”
My lips gave way to a delighted smile. “I don’t mind at all,” I replied as I snuggled against him.
We lay there, his hand stroking my hair as my fingers trailed along his chest. I had never felt as safe as I did at that moment.
“How are you feeling?” I asked. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Aubrey. Thank you for listening to me.” His lips kissed the top of my head.
“You’re welcome. Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Why won’t you kiss me?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that.” He sighed. “I have a no kissing rule. I can’t explain it. It’s just something I don’t do. I haven’t kissed anyone passionately since Sophia. I hope you can understand that.”
I lied and told him I did, even though I didn’t. There was something between us. I felt it and I knew he did too. I could feel and sense it. Maybe he just needed some time to adjust. After all, he did just tell me about her. I pressed my lips against his chest and then closed my eyes. When I awoke the next morning, I was alone in bed but could smell the freshly brewed coffee coming from the kitchen and I could hear the opening and closing of cabinets. I let out a sigh of relief that he was still here.
“Good morning.” I smiled as I tied my robe and walked to the kitchen.
“Good morning. I hope I didn’t wake you.”
“No. You didn’t. What are you doing?”
“I wanted to make us breakfast, but I can’t seem to find a pan to cook the eggs in.”
I gently smiled and walked over to the cabinet next to the stove. Reaching down,
I pulled out the frying pan.
“Is this what you’re looking for?”
“Yes. But I swear I looked in that cabinet.”
“Go sit down. I’ll make breakfast.”
“Oh no you don’t. I’m cooking. So go sit down and I’ll get you a cup of coffee,” he insisted.
“Seriously, Ethan—”
Before I knew it, his hands were grasping my shoulders.
“Go sit down. I’m cooking breakfast. End of discussion. Do you understand?” He led me to the barstool at the counter.
“Fine. I’ll sit down.”
“Thank you. Now, how do you like your eggs?”
“Scrambled is fine.”
He set a cup of coffee down in front of me and told me to be careful.
“It’s hot. Don’t burn yourself.”
“Yes, Ethan. I know it’s hot. But I will be extra careful for you.” I smirked.
“You’re a little snippy from time to time. Do you know that?”
“Only when someone insists on treating me like a handicapped child.”
“I’m sorry. I’m learning.”
“I know you are. Just make my eggs. I’m starving.”
“What are your plans for today?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I really don’t have any.”
“After I make breakfast, I’m going to go home, shower, change, and head to the office. I have quite a bit of work to do.”
“It’s Saturday.”
“Saturdays are no different from any other day of the week as far as I’m concerned.”
I sat there, sipping my coffee with the hopes that he’d want to spend the day together. I needed to play it off as if I didn’t care.
“Sounds boring.” I smirked.
He chuckled. “It can be.”
After we finished breakfast, he cleaned up the kitchen and then kissed me on my forehead.
“Enjoy your day. I have to go.”
“You too. Try not to work too hard.”
“I can’t make any promises.”
He walked out the door and I sighed. I wasn’t sure I could do this.
Chapter 28
Ethan
I hailed a cab home and got ready for work. As I stood in the shower, I lowered my head and let the water beat down on me while I thought about Aubrey. For the first time in years, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Telling her about Sophia and making her understand the way I was, was gratifying. I was honest and told her I couldn’t commit to anything and yet she still wanted to make love. Which to me, was a sign that she was okay with it. I still had fears, and many of them. Would I ever go back to the way I was? I didn’t know. But, little by little, Aubrey was peeling away the damaged layers that resided inside me. Spending the night with her was great and I didn’t feel like I needed to leave. It was the least I could do for her since she sat and listened to what I had to say. Did this mean we were in a relationship? No. It meant that we reached a level where we could enjoy each other’s company without any strings attached.
As I was sitting in my office doing some work, a text message came through from her.
“Hey, I know you’re busy working, but I’m going rock climbing today and wanted to see if you wanted to tag along. It’ll be fun.”
Rock climbing? Was she serious? She couldn’t rock climb. A nervousness settled inside me at the thought. She’d slip and fall and possibly get killed. All sorts of things ran through my head.
“Is anyone going with you?”
“Nope. Just me and you if you want to come along.”
Damn it. There was no way I could let her go alone.
“What time are you going and where are you going?”
“Three o’clock at Chelsea Pier Sports Center. I have a friend who works there.”
I let out a sigh of relief. She was going to go to a gym to rock climb. That made me feel somewhat better because someone would be there with her.
“I really can’t. I’m sorry. I have so much to do.”
“That’s fine. I just thought I’d ask.”
I set down my phone and got back to work. My tech team was working today on that app I wanted to create. Walking down to their department, I found them huddled around a table.
“Anything yet?” I asked.
“We’re having trouble with the voice over. It’s thirty percent complete.”
“Alright. Just keep working at it.”
Looking at my watch, I noticed it was three o’clock. Why on earth would she want to rock climb? Fuck. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. Instead of going back to my office, I headed out the door and hailed a cab to the Chelsea Pier Sports Center.
When I arrived, I asked the young attractive girl at the front desk where their rock climbing was.
“All the way in the back and to the right. Do you have an appointment?” she asked.
“No. I’m just here to support a friend of mine who’s doing it.”
“Oh. Okay.”
When I found the section where the rock climbing was, I clenched my fist when I saw a man with his arms around Aubrey’s waist. I stood back and watched as she began to climb the wall. The man who had helped her glanced over and looked at me. Bringing my finger to my lips, I motioned for him not to alert Aubrey that I was there.
“Hey, Alyssa, keep an eye on Aubrey. I’ll be right back.”
He walked over to me and we stepped away from the area.
“Can I help you with something?”
“I’m just here to watch her, but I don’t want her to know.”
“Dude, that’s creepy.”
I couldn’t help but give him a half smile.
“I’m a close friend of hers. She called me earlier and asked me to come with her, but I couldn’t. I just wanted to see her do it. To be honest, I’m a little nervous.”
“Why? It’s not the first time she’s rock climbed. She’s been here several times and she’s really good. If you’re such a close friend, you would know that. Listen, you need to let her know you’re here or I’m going to have to ask you to leave. Then, after you leave, I’ll tell her you were here but didn’t want her to know.”
“Fine.”
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Ethan Klein.”
“I’m Justin. Nice to meet you.”
Rolling my eyes, I followed him over to where Aubrey was. She was already halfway up the wall.
“Hey, Aubrey,” Justin spoke.
“Yeah.” She turned her head to him.
“You have a visitor. He says his name is Ethan Klein.”
“Ethan.” A smile crossed her face. “I thought you couldn’t come.”
“I finished earlier than I thought, so I came down here to watch you.”
“Watch me? No, Ethan, I want you to climb with me.”
“I can’t, Aubrey. I don’t have the right clothes or anything. I’ll do it another time.”
“Promise?” she asked with a smile.
“I promise.”
She finished climbing and came back down the wall. Even though she was a sweaty mess, she looked incredible.
“Great job, Aubrey,” Justin spoke. “See you next week?”
“Thanks, Justin. I’ll be here.”
I took her hand and placed it on my arm.
“I didn’t know you rock climbed,” I spoke as we headed out the door.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
I smiled. “Is that so? Then how about we have dinner tonight and you can tell me more about the things I don’t know about you.”
“As much as I would love to, I can’t. I’m having dinner and drinks with Penelope and my Aunt Charlotte.”
“Ah. Okay. Maybe I can see you after?”
“I’m not sure what time I’ll be home. Since we’re hitting the town, I probably won’t be getting in until really late.”
“Okay. I understand. How about we share a cab?”
“I’d like that. No
Harry today?”
“Nah. He went out of town for the weekend.”
I hailed us a cab and we climbed into the backseat.
“Why didn’t you drive your car?” She smirked.
“I didn’t feel like dealing with the traffic.”
She let out a light laugh. “Even though I have never actually seen what the traffic looks like in New York City, I can sure feel it, so I understand.”
“We have arrived at your apartment. Would you like me to come up for a while?” I asked.
“As much as I’d like that, I have to shower and get ready, so I won’t be much company.”
“Oh. Okay. Have a good time with Penelope and your aunt.”
“Thanks, Ethan. Enjoy your evening.” She climbed out and shut the door.
Chapter 29
Aubrey
I knew what I was doing. He couldn’t commit, so neither could I. I wasn’t about to sit around waiting for him to call me whenever the mood struck him.
“So you’re playing hard to get?” my Aunt Charlotte asked as she sipped her wine.
“Pretty much.”
“Eeek! I’m so proud of you.” Penelope placed her hand on mine.
“He wants to have a relationship with me, just not a dating one.”
“Well, you know that I find that extremely hot in a man. They secretly want you but can’t let you know because of their issues,” Penelope spoke. “Just fuck him and leave him hanging.”
“Penelope!” Aunt Charlotte exclaimed.
“What? He does it. In fact, a lot of men do it. So there’s no reason why my best friend can’t do it too. She’s not a damn doormat. Guys just can’t walk all over her, wipe their feet, walk away, and then come back when their shoes are dirty again.”
“What?” Aunt Charlotte sighed. “Listen, Aubrey. You know how I feel about that man.”
“I know, Aunt Charlotte, but you don’t have to worry. He is a good man. I knew it the minute I met him, to be honest. He just has some issues he needs to work out before he can move on with his life. Our conversation last night proved it.”