Chapter Six
The next evening, after a couple of hours of light conversation that took them most of the drive home, Lexi turned in the bucket seat of Clay’s car and swiped through the photos on the camera she’d given him. Kenzi had taken it for a while, and there were at least twenty photos of Clay and Lexi.
Flirting.
Sharing a joke.
Lexi gazing at Clay across the room with a look of longing. I need to end this before I get in too deep.
She turned the camera off and said, “Don’t forget that my car is still at the Barrington’s.”
He shot a quick smile at her. “I may forget on purpose. I’m enjoying you being dependent on me.”
Deciding it was best to ignore that comment, she set the camera back in the case. They’d done the Christmas thing together, spent time with both the Barringtons and Clay’s cousin’s family. This was when they were supposed to return to normal and not see each other until the next holiday. “Jacqueline wasn’t as bad as you described. You can probably go visit her now without a buffer.”
He frowned at her. “Is that what you were tonight? A buffer?”
“I’m not judging. There’s plenty of situations I’d rather not go into alone. She cares about you, though. I could tell.”
His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Her eyes nearly popped out when you mentioned being a background singer one summer for Stained Souls. Then you said you’d helped Senator Bidly write his acceptance speech. She had no idea what to think of you. I was surprised to see you share so much with her.”
Lexi rubbed her cold hands together. She’d wanted to steer Jacqueline’s attention away from prying into Clay’s business, and it had worked, but Lexi was used to sometimes having a backlash from her methods.
He took one of her hands in his and brought it to rest beneath his on his warm thigh. “Why did you do that, Lexi?”
She shrugged. All she’d done was put herself in his position and asked herself what he wanted. If she was about to be lectured on oversharing, then so be it.
“I shouldn’t have told you she interrogates me about my life. You put yourself in the line of fire, didn’t you?”
Lexi glanced out the front window. The way he understood her was disconcerting. “If I said yes, will it dent your fragile male ego?”
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “No, it would simply affirm why we’re so good together, and it’ll only get better.”
Her eyes flew to his and her hand shook. “Don’t say that.”
He frowned again. “Why the hell not?”
She pried her hand free. No, we can’t. Today proved it. Anything beyond this is dangerous. “We’re friends, we have fun together, but that’s as far as it can go—as far as I want it to go.”
“I thought you were braver than that.”
What she had with Clay had earned the truth. “This has nothing to do with being brave. I don’t know about you, but my track record with relationships sucks. If they make it a month I’m shocked. I don’t want to ruin what we have by taking it there.”
“Taking it where?”
“I don’t know.” Lexi was at a loss for how to describe what she felt toward him. Yes, she wanted to sleep with him, but she also simply enjoyed his company. He could make her laugh like no one else, but he also listened in a way that kept her honest with him. What do you call that? “We both know how quickly things can get ugly after people have sex. Suddenly it’s all about how bad you can make each other feel.”
“You’ve been with some serious assholes.”
“Maybe.” She tucked her cold hands between her knees. “But, tell me, how long was your longest relationship?”
Clay returned to clenching the steering wheel again. His silence confirmed what she already knew about him.
They drove along for a while with a heavy silence hanging over both of them. Eventually, Lexi cleared her throat and said, “I’m sorry. I know this is awkward, but we’re going to see each other at every Barrington function and beyond. My best friend married your best friend. If you were anyone else, I’d sleep with you and be done with it, but this is complicated.”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “Lexi Chambers, you’re hard on the ego, but damn, you’re sexy.” He picked up her hand again and turned it in his. “So, no dinner tomorrow?”
“It’s for the best.”
He pulled up to the sidewalk outside the Barrington home and parked before turning toward her. “Are you going to Sophie’s fundraiser in Vermont?”
“I told Kenzi this morning that I would.”
“I’ll be there, too. I’m flying up the day before.”
Lexi swallowed hard. “I’ll—”
He cupped her face and silenced her gently with his thumb over her lips. “Meet me there, I know. I didn’t need your protection today, but thank you for going with me. You have every right to doubt me. I’ve never stayed with anyone. I’ve never dedicated myself to anything. If I were a better man I’d respect what you’re saying and try like hell to be your friend. I can’t do that, though.” Without hesitation he took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply until they were both shaking and clinging to each other, then he dropped his hands and sat back. “I want you so damn much it’s slowly driving me mad.”
She slumped back, breathless in her own seat and nodded.
I know exactly how that feels, too.
Clay spent a restless night tossing and turning. He wasn’t the kind of man who tortured himself with the ethics of a decision, but this one had him confused. On one hand, he actually enjoyed being with Lexi, a hell of a lot more than he could ever remember with another woman. And it wasn’t all about sex. He liked her, more and more with each side of her he got to know.
She was brazen in the face of authority, but the first to judge herself harshly. She preferred to appear irresponsible, but her loyalty to family and friends was proof she wasn’t. Kenzi said she and Willa had moved to Boston because they thought she needed them, and now he believed Kenzi was right. Nothing came between Lexi and those she cared about. She’d do whatever she could to help them. Like spending Christmas telling my family about all the times she jumped from job to job just so they wouldn’t ask me questions about my own life.
She went because she thought I needed her.
The realization that she was the first to do anything like that for him rocked through him. Women tended to see him in terms of his wealth, his looks, and what he brought to the bedroom. They didn’t worry about him. The women he knew would have been more concerned about what his cousins thought of them than how he felt that day.
Lexi was not only a woman he was chomping at the bit to sleep with, she was also quickly becoming a friend. He didn’t have friends in general, not real ones. Dax was the exception. His life was full of people who wanted to spend time with him, but few who would stay if he suddenly lost his fortune. He liked to think Dax would. He had a feeling Lexi would, too.
Which made her special.
Too special to sleep with?
He’d wanted to disagree with everything she’d said about what happened to people in the aftermath of being intimate, but he couldn’t. Things would change. They might be civil. They might be tumultuous, but they wouldn’t be the same.
He’d also been unable to deny his history with women. She thought putting two people together who had no idea how to sustain a relationship was a recipe for disaster. How could he argue that?
Dax had said that if Clay wanted to prove he cared about Lexi, he needed to respect her decision. He wasn’t used to not getting what he wanted. There’d only been a handful of things in Clay’s life that had been impossible, regardless of how much money he had. He couldn’t bring his parents back. He couldn’t stop people flocking to him simply because they saw him in terms of what he could do for them financially. Some things were non-negotiable in life.
That’s not how he wanted to view Lexi.
He remembered what Kate
had said about giving up too easily. I’ve done a hell of a lot more than send her a text, though. I called everyone I know and told them to hire her. I took her to meet my family. What more does she want?
Chapter Seven
“What do you want to do?” Kenzi asked from her spot at the end of the couch. She was still in her pajamas, and her hair was mussed from sleep. Not that she could be blamed since Lexi and Willa had shown up on her doorstep without warning that morning.
Dressed in stretch jeans and a loose blouse, Willa looked down at the laptop she had perched on her knees and sighed. “Clay must really like you to have gone to all this trouble.”
Lexi leaned forward to take the computer back. “It’s just a list. He gave you a job. I’m not here to talk about Clay, though.”
Not taking the hint, Willa looked across at Kenzi. “Do you remember how jealous Lance was of Clay when I worked for him? It was the only reason Dax gave Clay an office in his building. He wanted to watch over us. They were both worried about nothing, though. Clay only has eyes for Lexi. I’m so glad he’s finally doing something about it.”
Kenzi chuckled. “He really is smitten, Lexi. You should have seen Dax’s face when he heard that Clay took you to meet his family. Clay has never taken anyone there, not even Dax.”
Lexi closed the laptop and placed it on the table in front of her. Of course she wanted to believe what Kenzi was saying, but it didn’t change her decision. She and Clay would remain friends. Just friends. “I didn’t wake you both up to talk about Clay. This is serious. What do I do with this list? Is it okay to actually take a job from it?”
Willa looked confused. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
With a sigh, Lexi smoothed the hem of her dress down over her leggings. “If I remember correctly, Willa, you were the one who asked me to try to keep work and this family separate after I left Poly-Shyn.”
“Willa,” Kenzi said in surprise, “the Hendersons were fine with her leaving abruptly. It actually worked out for the best.”
Willa wrinkled her nose, a tell that she felt guilty for saying it. “I’m sorry, Lexi. I didn’t mean to sound that judgmental, but the way you left was wrong. You didn’t even give them notice. They took a chance by hiring you, and you acted like it meant nothing.”
Lexi let out a long breath and counted to ten. She could explain herself to Willa, but she really wasn’t in the mood to throw herself at her feet and beg for understanding. Sometimes it was easier to simply stare her down. “Just to be clear, you’re both okay if I take one of these jobs. I don’t want to get grief later if I choose one that doesn’t work out.”
With a shrug, Willa said, “That would be between you and Clay.”
“There is no me and Clay.” Lexi stood impatiently. “I don’t even know why I bother sometimes. You don’t listen. I’m happy that you are now a Barrington, Willa, and I’m trying to navigate your rules, but if you’re going to pretend you don’t care about this, then I’ll do what I want.”
Kenzi waved a hand in the air. “Wait. Willa, Lexi’s been part of this family just as long as you have. There’s nothing she could do, short of become a nun, that would shock us. What are you worried about?”
Willa looked back and forth between them, then blurted, “Things are so perfect. Lance is amazing. Your whole family seems happier.” She placed her hand on her stomach. “I never thought I could be this happy, and I’m afraid—”
Kenzi scooter closer to Willa, putting her arm around her in support. “What are you afraid of?”
Lexi crossed her arms in front of her and looked down at them. She’d spent most her life protecting Willa, but on this one subject, she wouldn’t. “Say it, Willa, although I’d be shocked if you have the nerve to. Frame it just right, though, or you may sound like you’re not a saint.”
Willa looked down at her hands and blinked back tears. “I never said I was a saint.”
“What are you talking about?” Kenzi looked up at Lexi. “What don’t I know?”
With her chin held high, Lexi said, “Willa is afraid I’ll somehow screw things up between her and your family. She blames me for the early issues she had with Lance, but there’s more, isn’t there, Willa? You blame me for something much bigger.”
Willa shook her head. “I don’t.”
“You do,” Lexi insisted. “Just say it.”
Wiping a tear from her cheek, Willa said, “It was a long time ago. It shouldn’t affect me at all now, but . . . when our parents died we went to live with our aunt and uncle for a short time. They sent us to boarding school because they couldn’t handle us.”
“Me,” Lexi said. “They couldn’t handle me.”
Willa looked down at her hands again.
Kenzi stood. “You don’t know that.”
“Oh, we heard them say it, didn’t we, Willa? They made their reason for sending us away very clear.”
Willa rose to her feet and went to stand in front of Lexi. “All you had to do there was follow their rules, but you did whatever you wanted to do—just like you always have. It didn’t matter that I wanted to stay. You ruined it for both of us.”
“And you’re afraid I’ll do that again.”
Kenzi stepped between her two best friends. She took Lexi’s hand in one of hers and Willa’s in the other. “The two of you were my family at a time when I thought I’d lost mine. Don’t you dare treat each other with less love than you both deserve. Willa, you are the most kindhearted person I’ve ever met. Lexi, I believe you’d take a bullet for me or Willa without a thought of what would happen to you. The past holds some ugly memories for all of us, but we decide how much power to give them. Not one of us is perfect, but we’re always better together.”
Willa nodded. “I’m so sorry, Lexi. I didn’t even realize I was holding on to that day.”
Lexi sniffed. “I know. I came here today because I want you to stay just as happy as you are today.” She looked at Kenzi. “Both of you. I don’t want to do anything that jeopardizes your happiness.”
Wiping her face with her free hand, Willa said, “It could be the hormones, but I could bawl my eyes out right now. I love you two so much.”
Lexi hugged her sister. “I love you, too.”
Kenzi wrapped her arms around both of them. “Now that I’m adding puffy red eyes to my glorious morning look, can we talk about something safe, like this weekend?” She dropped her arms and returned to the corner of the couch. “They’re predicting a big snow storm for Vermont. Dax and I are going to try to fly up the day before. How are you two getting there? I’d say you could come with us, but I know you don’t fly, Lexi.”
Willa chewed her bottom lip. “Do you think you could do it this once, Lexi? Maybe take something for the trip? It’s a long drive otherwise.”
“I don’t mind going up on my own,” Lexi said. “You’re pregnant, Willa; don’t feel that you need to make the drive with me. And it doesn’t make sense for you to come with me, Kenzi. You’ll probably have your whole family on your plane.”
“We could have a car take you,” Kenzi said slowly as she mulled ideas.
Willa took Lexi’s hand in hers again and gave it a squeeze. “Or you could drive up with Clay.”
Lexi shook her head. “No way.”
“Why? It’s the perfect solution,” Kenzi exclaimed.
“Because—because—” Oh, what the hell? “I’m trying not to sleep with him.”
Willa wrinkled her nose. “It’s okay if you do. You like him. He likes you. It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine if it’s going to cause issues between us, Willa,” Lexi said quietly.
Willa pulled Lexi in for another tight hug. “It won’t, Lexi. No matter what happens between the two of you. Don’t let me ever make you feel bad about who you are or how you live your life. If the Barringtons ever decide we aren’t good enough for them, it’ll be their loss.”
“Hey,” Kenzi laughed. “Barrington over here.”
“Not anymore; you’re a Ma
rshall now,” Lexi and Willa said in unison.
Kenzi laughed again. “I love when you sync up like that and say the same things at the same time.”
Willa and Lexi both turned and stuck their tongues out at Kenzi, then saw each other doing it and laughed. When they stopped laughing, Lexi said, “I’m not calling Clay and asking him to drive me to Vermont.”
Kenzi took out her phone and started typing. “You won’t have to. I’m telling Dax right now that you’re driving up to Vermont all by yourself in a potential snow storm. If Clay likes you half as much as I think he does, he’ll contact you.”
About ten minutes later, Lexi’s phone beeped with an incoming text. Lexi smiled. “It’s Clay.”
Willa and Kenzi came to huddle around her. “What did he say?”
“He wants to know how I’m getting to Vermont.”
“So, tell him,” Kenzi urged.
I’m driving, Lexi typed.
Alone?
Lexi hesitated before answering. “I don’t know, guys. Are you sure you’re both okay with this?”
With a straight face, Willa said, “Bring condoms.”
“Okay, then.” Lexi burst out laughing.
Kenzi chimed in. “Dax wouldn’t have told Clay if he thought Clay wasn’t serious about you. Give Clay a chance to prove Dax is right.”
Yes, alone.
Not anymore.
Shouldn’t you ask if I want the company?
Oh, I’m taking you. All the way.
Lexi laughed at the double entendre. “He’s so bad.”
“You love it,” Willa said with a smile.
“I do.” She texted: Because halfway would be disappointing.
Don’t worry, it’ll be a long drive. One that you’ll like so much you’ll want to do it again. And again.
Lately I’ve been driving myself everywhere so this will be nice.
Oh, yes. Much better. I promise. Lexi laughed again.
Kenzi leaned forward. “Should we ask what you two are saying?”
“No,” Lexi said with a huge smile. “No, you shouldn’t.”
“So, you’re going up with him?” Willa asked.