***
I'd been standing in front of the Kadirs' gate for no less than five minutes, conflicting within myself to knock or not to knock.
Thoughts swirled around my head. The good, the bad, and the ugly. What if Raheem didn't want me back? Then what next?
Maybe seeing him now was not a good idea. He probably fumed over our break up, and would talk to no one. Maybe I had to let time float a while, then his heart would grow soft and he'd listen to me.
I sighed, torn between the choices before me. But who said I had to make the decision myself? For a moment I'd forgotten other people always sought to make decisions for me.
And now, history repeated itself. I heard footsteps approach, and I knew it had to be the gatekeeper. He'd obviously caught a glimpse of my feet from underneath the gate. Curse my life.
The gatekeeper opened the gate with a smile. "Good afternoon."
I faked a smile. "Good afternoon."
Rooted to the spot, I could only stare at the house before me. In the past, I'd walked in and out like it were my own house. But today, I felt this privilege creeping away.
"They're inside," the gatekeeper said, apparently misjudging my tentativeness.
"Okay, thanks." I pushed forward on tentative legs. After forever, I arrived at the entrance door and rapped my fingers on it. Once, twice. And once again.
"Coming," Farah screamed to my hearing.
I told myself it would be alright. But would it? Amidst the tightness in my chest, I sucked in a deep breath, bracing myself for what would come.
Farah opened the door. Her face lit up at the sight of me. "Victoria! Thank goodness you're here. I was seriously going to die of boredom."
My face held no promise of a smile. She caught a whiff of the air of distress around me. "Okay, spill. What's wrong?"
"I need to talk to Raheem," I said.
"He's not home," she said.
"Tell me this is you kidding," I said. "I really need to see him. I know he probably doesn't even want to see my face right now, but I have to at least try."
Farah's face fell. "What is going on?"
"Raheem didn't tell you anything?" I asked.
She shook her head. "He spoke to no one. He just parked his bike and drove off in his car. I called him, but he ignored me, and I knew someone had offended him. I could never have thought it was you. I mean...oh my gosh! Wait. Did you guys break up?"
"Yes," I said.
"What? I don't understand. Why would he do a thing like that?"
"Did what?" Mrs. Kadir asked, walking to meet us. She smiled at me. She sure hadn't heard the most recent development. "Vicky dear, how are you?"
"I'm fine," I said.
"No she's not," Farah said. "Raheem broke up with her."
"He did what?" Mrs. Kadir asked. "I don't understand. He's been so happy these past few weeks."
"Exactly my point," Farah said.
"When did this happen?" Mrs. Kadir asked.
"This afternoon," I said.
"This afternoon," she echoed, as though the time made any difference. Or did it?
Her temper escalated with each passing moment. "I don't understand. I just can't believe he'd left you now, now of all times when you need him the most."
"I'm the one at fault," I said. "I stopped being the me he used to know."
"What does that even mean?" Farah asked.
A car honked from behind the gate, making my words die on my lips. Simultaneously, we turned to watch the gatekeeper open the gate for Raheem to drive in.
"He has got some major explanations to give," Farah said, folding her arms.
Raheem braked his car and stepped out. Feigning oblivion to us, he moved to open the back door. Who had he brought with him? Although it was impossible to see through the dim glass, I narrowed my eyes anyway.
Had he replaced me in the blink of an eye? If it wasn't a girl, then who was it he opened the door for? Red with a yet unjustifiable envy, I could only watch as he gave the unseen person the same treatment he'd reserved only for me.
"Who has your brother brought home?" Mrs. Kadir asked Farah. Farah shrugged. They were just as clueless.
The unseen guest placed his left foot on the ground. I strained my neck to see the person's shoes. Finding a man's shoes, I let out the breath I'd been holding.
But who was he?
He placed his other foot on the ground and stood tall for all to see. I gasped at the striking resemblance he shared with Raheem. I'd seen his photos, but that didn't compare to seeing him in person.
He threw his arms open. "Surprise!"
"Daddy!" Farah screamed, darting to meet him.
"Hakeem!" Mrs. Kadir's voice rang in my ears. All smiles, she sprinted to her husband.
Winning the race, Farah threw herself in her father's arms. "Daddy."
"My little fairy," Mr. Kadir said, flashing a smile that showed off his perfect teeth.
He plucked a chuckling Farah from the floor and spun her around as though she weighed no more than a leaf. Setting her down, he threw open his arms, inviting Mrs. Kadir for an embrace. She lost herself in his arms.
Where Mr. Kadir stood, I saw my father. And in his arms, my stepmother, Cynthia and I. He'd just returned from a business trip to Lagos. Just like Mr. Kadir, he'd chosen to surprise us with his presence.
"You should have told us you were coming," Mrs. Kadir said. "I would have prepared your favorite dish."
My eyes burned with tears I fought to hide. I sucked in a deep breath to keep my emotions in check. I would not let my miserable life ruin their moment.
They had everything. Happiness. Family. Love. They had each other. And I, I had nothing but every bit of misfortune the world had to offer. I'd give anything for just a thin slice of happiness. I'd give anything for a little drop of love. But did I even deserve it?
I had to leave. I didn't belong here, but in my own world, where an evil stepmother awaited me at home. I belonged in a world where happiness was a taboo, and depression, the order of the day.
The Kadirs, so lost in the moment had become oblivious of my presence. Neither Farah nor Mrs. Kadir even remembered I existed. Typical. Raheem hadn't glanced in my direction since he arrived. Not even by mistake.
Mr. Kadir held his entire family in a hungry embrace. Taking this as my time to leave, I headed for the gate.
"Wait," Mr. Kadir said. Not to his family. But to me.
I turned around to meet his gaze. He chuckled as though I had something funny on my face. Did I?
"Wait, don't tell me you thought you were invisible," he said.
He could see me? For a moment back there, I actually thought I was invisible.
Mr. Kadir glanced at Raheem, then back at me. Realization dawned on him. I could tell from the way he wagged his left pointer. "Aren't you the girl my son's so crazy about?"
For the first time, Raheem looked in my direction. His gaze pierced through me, setting my heart ablaze. A flower of hope sprouted somewhere within me.
A smile had already begun to stretch my lips when he spoke. "She was, dad."