“I’ve got it, thanks.”
He released her hands and rose, stepping back as best he could so she could dig her phone out of her pocket. Pulling the numbers up from her contacts, she dialed Mark’s cell.
* * * *
Mark was sitting up in bed, half ignoring the TV where a crime drama droned on, and half ignoring the iPad in his lap where he was trying to clear out his e-mail. While he’d been hoping Essie would call him back, he was beginning to think she wouldn’t, considering it was after nine o’clock.
Maybe she’ll call tomorrow.
He’d just picked up his phone to look at it when it rang in his hand, startling him and nearly causing him to drop it as he fumbled it and finally hit the green button to answer the call.
“Hello?”
She still sounded the same as he remembered. “Um, hi, is this Mark?”
“Yeah. Essie?”
“Yeah.”
He started to ask how she was, then mentally kicked himself. She was obviously horrible considering what had just happened. “Um, glad you got my message.” Lame.
“Is it too late to talk? I can call back in the morning.”
He desperately didn’t want that. Despite what he knew his dating preferences were, he selfishly wanted to talk to her right now, right this minute, for as long as he could keep her on the line. “No, it’s fine, seriously.” He punched the home button on his iPad and called up the document file Tracy had typed for them. “I’m really sorry about your dad.”
“Thanks. I…I haven’t even thought about that part yet. I just got here a few minutes ago. Mom’s across the street. The neighbors are really great. The Connellys. They say they know you.”
Connellys? Then it hit him. “Oh, yeah. Ross and Loren.” No doubt the couple hadn’t revealed exactly how they knew Mark and his brothers.
“Ross is here with me right now. I wanted to see how bad it was before I talked with Mom about anything else.”
And thus they had arrived at the crux of their conversation. “I don’t want to overwhelm you tonight. If it’s not a good time to talk, we can do this tomorrow.”
“I don’t think there will be a good time to talk until this…disaster is cleaned up. I’ll be honest, I don’t know what Mom’s finances are, and I can’t afford tens of thousands of dollars for this.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “We can deal with all that tomorrow. We will help you, I promise. Even if she can’t pay for it, even if you can’t pay for it. We will help you.”
She sounded choked up. “Thank you. I–I’m just…” A little sound like a sniffle. “I’m in shock, I guess.”
“I know losing your dad was—”
“Not even that!” Now she sounded angry. “I can’t believe he’d do this to her. That she’d let him do this to her. I told her years ago, if she ever wanted to leave and come live with me that she was welcomed to do it and she wouldn’t.”
He expected Essie to run through the full gamut of emotions many times over during the process. And he was certain of one thing.
If she’d let him, he’d be there by her side through it all, even if all he could do was be a friend to her.
“Is your husband going to come help?”
Now that sound was definitely a snort. “I don’t have one of those. Or a boyfriend. It’s just me and Mom. And my best friend Amy, I’m not about to ask her to drop her life and fly out here for this. This isn’t her mess to clean up. It shouldn’t even be mine, but I can’t let my mom do this alone.”
“Do you think your mom will be open to us handling it for her?”
“Yeah. And she’ll have no choice. I won’t let her not handle it.”
He knew from experience that wouldn’t work. Her mom had to want it. “But she is the homeowner?”
“Yeah, she is now. This was Dad’s mess, not hers. Believe me, she’ll be all for getting it cleaned out.”
He hoped she was right. It was what Jack had also told him, but Mark didn’t want to count on that until the process was underway and they saw firsthand that Essie’s mom was on board with it. “Okay. Look, let me meet you in the morning and talk. Is nine okay?”
“Yeah. Hold on. Tell Ross, please.”
There was a moment as she passed the phone over. “Hey, Mark?”
A little disappointment filled him. He’d wanted to keep talking to her. “Yeah.”
Mark confirmed the time, and Ross agreed he’d be there at the house, with Loren, to provide emotional support to mother and daughter.
When Mark hung up, he stared at the phone. He knew he was already on thin ice, but the fact that Essie was single wouldn’t leave his brain now that it had dug its talons deep into him.
She’s not married, and not involved.
Maybe I have a chance.
Maybe she’s not kinky.
But maybe she is.
He didn’t want to take advantage of her when she was emotionally vulnerable. But inside him, the teenaged boy who’d always wished they could have had a chance, a gut instinct it would have worked out all right, wanted to go for it and quit being afraid.
Wanted to quit settling.
He’d dated off and on since his divorce, falling in with Josh’s friends, who he’d accidentally discovered all frequented the same private social club.
A BDSM club, to be precise.
While at first shocked, once he’d let go of his preconceived notions, he realized for the first time in his adult life he felt like he was right where he belonged. He wanted someone strong as a partner, who’d let him take care of her, a woman who could tell the world to go fuck itself while giving herself to him.
He and his brothers had all ended up members of the club. Once, two years earlier, they’d all even dated the same woman, who was looking for far more of a kinky experience than they were willing to give. He wouldn’t deny it’d been fun with the three of them blowing her mind at the same time in bed. It gave them all a tantalizing taste of how good a poly arrangement might be for them.
Unfortunately, they didn’t have the stomach for the level of edge play she’d enjoyed, like needles and cutting. They had all parted friends after a few months and still saw her from time to time at events or the private club they were all members of.
And yes, Josh was right that he couldn’t settle. Even if lightning did strike and Essie and he had a chance, if she wasn’t open to their lifestyle, it’d never work in the long term.
A slightly loud and obnoxious car commercial blipped across his brain from the TV and rudely yanked him out of his rapidly unfolding poly fantasy.
Her dad just freaking died and you’re having dirty thoughts about her. Nice, asshole. Fucking classy. Keep it in your pants.
He put his iPad and phone on their chargers, shut off the TV, and tried to go to sleep without thinking about the things he’d really like to do with Essie.
Chapter Four
Ross shut off the lights and they walked outside, locking the side door behind them. Essie stopped in the driveway, next to her rental car, and rested her hands against the doorframe. With her head hung down, she tried to suck the clean night air into her lungs and drive out any last vestiges of the musty air she’d breathed in the house.
This was sooo much worse than she’d imagined.
“Where are your bags?” he asked.
“In the trunk,” she muttered, still reeling. “Oooh my god.” She burst into tears, letting Ross gently turn her and hold her as she cried.
“It’s okay,” he calmly said. “We’ll take care of this.”
“No offense, but that’s easy for you to say,” she sobbed. “I’m all alone here. I’m the only person she’s got now, and I’m a damn basket case. I have no idea what the hell to do next. I don’t have anyone to lean on, and how am I supposed to be strong for her when I don’t even know how to be strong for me?”
“I meant it.” He tipped her face up so she had to look him in the eyes. “We will take care of this. All of us, hel
ping you. We have a pretty great group of friends, and between us, we know a lot of people.”
“I can’t impose on you all like this. This isn’t your problem.”
He smiled. “You’re not understanding me. I’m not asking you if we can help you. I’m telling you we are going to help you. The proper response, and the only one I’ll accept, is ‘thank you.’”
Under normal circumstances, something like that would bristle her and make her lash out. But just like him telling her they would be staying with him and his wife, she found she didn’t have the energy to fight.
Didn’t have the desire to overrule him.
She nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”
He hugged her and released her, taking the car keys from her and opening the trunk to get her bags. As she followed him back across the street to his house, she turned and looked. Yeah, the grass was scraggly in a few places, but it wasn’t any worse than any of the neighbors. The house didn’t stand out. The curtains were drawn in the windows along the front of the house, but it was nighttime.
No one had known the nightmare hiding behind the average-looking façade.
With a ragged sigh, she continued on behind Ross.
She was relieved to see their house, while tastefully decorated and bearing a lived-in feeling, was neat, tidy, clean, and non-cluttered.
Her mom sat with Loren on the sofa, her eyes red from crying.
Essie put down her carry-on and walked over to her mom to sit next to her on the couch while Ross continued on through the house with her suitcases.
She wrapped her arms around her. “I love you, Mom,” she said.
“I love you, too, sweetie.”
“We need to talk.”
Her mom nodded. “I know.”
“This is going to be difficult if you don’t work with me. We have some things we need to discuss. For starters, funeral arran—”
“I want him cremated,” she said, blowing her nose in a tissue Loren handed her. “He kept saying he wanted a burial plot, but he never bought one. And it’s cheaper. No service. I don’t want that. I can’t deal with a service, and I don’t want one.”
The question Essie desperately didn’t want to ask and knew she had to. “What is your financial situation like?”
Her mom sniffled before pulling out a smartphone, which surprised Essie. A few taps later, and she’d logged into a banking app. She turned the phone around to show Essie. “He didn’t know I opened other accounts years ago. I had to. I didn’t know what he’d waste our money on. I only showed him the one account. There’s about eight thousand in that one still, and it’s at a different bank. Those three there are in my name only.”
Essie breathed a sigh of relief. At least her mom had some backbone left. Her mom had over fifty grand in the three different accounts in her name. With the joint account, that brought the total up to about fifty-eight thousand.
“Okay,” Essie said. “That’s good. We won’t have to worry about probate or anything with those accounts.”
She’d worry about her mom’s future living expenses later. At least tonight it took a little of the pressure off Essie, that she wouldn’t have to juggle too hard and fast with her own finances to get things moving. She also learned that her mom still worked part time, and received a pension from being a retired 911 dispatcher for the county. She wouldn’t be eligible for social security for another couple of years yet.
“The other account is a joint account,” her mom said. “I should be able to withdraw that money. And I have a 401k that’s not part of any of those.”
Essie choked back the relieved tears threatening to break through. “Do you know who you want to handle the cremation?”
“Are you okay with a cremation?” her mom asked her.
One less thing Dad can hoard, and one final fuck-you at him? Suuurre.
But she didn’t say that. “I’m fine with that, Mom.”
“Loren and Ross gave me a name of a place. I already called them to get a price. They said it would be less than two thousand dollars total if we’re not having a service.”
Essie’s mental tally clicked down a little on the financials.
Fifty-six grand.
Ross returned and sat in a chair across from the couch. “Corrine, remember the friend of ours we talked with you about earlier?” Ross asked her. “The one who runs the cleaning service?”
Her mom nodded.
“Essie talked with him on the phone. He’ll be over in the morning to meet with you both.”
“I want it allll gone,” her mom said, spreading her arms out in front of her for emphasis. “If they can help me dig out my clothes and family pictures and stuff, that’s it.”
Essie shared a glance with Ross. “Mom, I remember a china cabinet in the dining room.”
Loren handed Essie’s mom another tissue. She nodded as she blew her nose again. “My mother’s china. Yes, things like that, I suppose, I want those saved. But the…garbage. All that…shit! I want it gone!”
Yay, Mom!
Essie didn’t cheer that out loud, though. She hugged her mom again, knowing for her mom to swear it meant she was really upset. “I know this isn’t easy on you.”
“Oh, honey, this is a lot easier than you can possibly imagine.” She blew her nose. “I loved your father. And I know he wasn’t the easiest man to live with. And I love you for offering to let me come live with you, but when I took my vows, I meant them. For better and for worse.”
It couldn’t get much more worse. “I know, Mom.” It wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation.
“I’m sure I’m going to cry a lot as we do this. But I want my life back. I want to be able to invite people over. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been able to have people into my house? It was almost a…a relief this morning to go out there and see him lying there. And maybe it makes me a horrible wife for thinking it, but I’m not going to waste another minute of my life.”
Warning bells started going off in Essie’s brain. Maybe her mom wasn’t doing as well as she was saying she was.
She gently patted her mom’s back. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay!” Corrine shouted, making the other three jump with the force and volume of her voice. “It’s not okay what he’s done to us! He was a selfish, stubborn man who wasted his life on this…crap!” She burst into tears again. “It was more important to him than we were, and that’s not right.”
Confused and uncertain, Essie embraced her again as Loren pressed more tissues into the older woman’s hand. Essie met Loren’s gaze this time. The other woman offered an apologetic expression and a confused shrug.
Great.
“Corrine,” Ross said, “I think it’s time you went to bed. You promised us that when Essie got here, you’d go to bed. You’ve had a very long, very stressful day. You need your rest.”
There was that tone again. The one that Essie was more than willing to give a pass to tonight. Firm and brooking no argument, and yet gentle, the proverbial velvet-coated iron fist.
The way a father should be.
If they have kids, they’re lucky kids to have a dad like him.
But her mom nodded as she calmed down a little. “Thank you both,” she said. “I can’t tell you how much.”
After a round of good night hugs, her mom headed down the hallway.
Once they heard a bedroom door close, Essie let out a tense breath.
“Holy crap,” she muttered.
“She’s been like that off and on all day,” Loren softly said. “I think part of her is relieved he’s gone, and I don’t mean that to sound horrible.”
“No, I get it, believe me. I just can’t thank you two enough for everything.”
“I’d rather you both stay here with us,” Ross said. “I think we haven’t begun to plumb the depths of her emotions yet.” He arched an eyebrow at her. “Or yours, quite frankly. If you’re staying here, you both can retreat here for a safe space if you get
overwhelmed during the process. And we won’t have to go far if we need to ask questions or opinions. But are you going to be able to handle this? I’m willing to take point if you need me to. Just say the word.”
“No, I need to do this. I can do this. I remember when I was really little, the house used to be clean. Mom kept up with things.”
“I saw on one of those TV shows about hoarding that sometimes there’s a triggering event,” Loren said. “Was there something like that for your dad?”
Essie nodded. “His parents and his mother’s mother died in a fire. It was the house he grew up in up north. I was really little, only two or three. But I remember Mom once saying that seemed to change him for the worse. His father was a hoarder, Mom said.”
“That could do it,” Ross said.
“She said before that happened, she could go behind him and toss stuff out. But it was like once the fire happened, he got worse, would fight her, get really mad if she tried to clean up. Eventually it got to the point where she was working so much, and taking care of me, that it was easier to drop the battle and just give in.”
“We didn’t speak much,” Ross said, “but he struck me as a very stubborn man.”
“That is an understatement,” Essie said.
They all fell silent when they heard a door open again. Her mom reappeared. “Oh, I forgot,” she said when she returned to the living room. “I have a life insurance policy on your father.”
Essie hadn’t even thought that far. “You do?”
“Yes. We each did. One hundred thousand dollars.”
Essie’s mental tally clicked up again, more relief pouring in.
“That’s good, Mom. We’ll talk about that in the morning.”
She nodded and returned to her bedroom again, the door closing behind her.
Essie heavily sat back on the sofa, her head in her hands. “Holy shit. Oh, sorry,” she added. “I just…Please stop the roller coaster.”
Ross and Loren flanked her on the couch. “We’ll let Mark tell us what the next step is when he gets here in the morning. Right now, let Loren show you to your room. You look like you need rest.”