CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT.
BRIGHTER DAYS.
Six months passed by--months of grief and pain, and bitter, unavailingregret; of work and play, of long summer days, and wintry fog and cold;of reviving happiness also, since, thank God! joy returns like thespring, bringing back hope and joy to a darkened world. There was aplace in Darsie's heart which would ever be consecrated to the memory ofRalph; but _it_ was not a foremost place--that most crushing of sorrowshad been spared her; and when one not yet twenty-one is living thehealthiest and most congenial of lives, and is above all elevated to theproud position of third-year girl, it would be as unnatural as wrong todwell continually upon a past grief.
At first Darsie felt shocked and ashamed when the old gay mood swept heroff her balance, and she found herself dancing, singing, and makingmerry as of yore, but her two mentors, Mrs Reeves and Hannah Vernon,united to combat this impression.
"To bear a sorrow _cheerfully_ is the only resignation worthy of thename!" This was the older woman's verdict; the younger preached thesame precept in student vernacular--
"Why grizzle when you want to smile? Pray, what good can you doyourself, or any one else, by going about with a face like a fiddle?Remember Margaret France, and don't block up the window to shut out thestars! Let them twinkle for all they are worth, the blessed littlethings. They are _tired_ of hiding behind the clouds. You have a dutyto the living as well as to the dead; remember that!"
Yes, it was true. Looking back over the last eight months Darsierealised what a debt of gratitude she owed to relations and friendsalike for their tenderness and forbearance. It had been hard on thehome party to have the summer holidays clouded by the presence of amourner who shuddered at the sight of water, collapsed into tears atunexpected moments, and lived in a condition of super-sensitiveness,ready as it seemed to be hurt by the most innocent word; yet how gentleand patient they had been, every single one of them, down to Timhimself! Mother and father, of course, had been angels; one took it forgranted that they would be, but who could have believed in suchconsideration from the boys and girls. Dear old Clemence! What acomfort she had been! Darsie had often been inclined to think that, forsheer rest and soothing, no one could compete with a plump, practical,matter-of-fact sister, who had no thought for "ifs" or "whys," but wasfull of care to ensure your present physical well-being. Then, if for amoment Clemence seemed to fall short, there was Lavender, ready to pourout floods of sympathy, to mingle her tears with yours, and listen toendless reminiscences. As for the boys, Harry and Russell forbore totease, affected blindness to reddened eyes, and said, "Buck up, oldgirl!" with real heartiness of feeling, while Tim was assiduous in theoffer of sticky sweets.
The Vernons, lucky creatures! went off _en masse_ to Switzerland forJuly and August. Darsie morbidly told herself that they were anxious toavoid the depression of her own presence during the chief holiday of theyear. She was, as she expressed it, "too proud to say so," but theinward soreness made her so cold and abrupt in manner that her friendshad good cause to reverse the accusation.
With regard to Dan Vernon in especial there was a soreness at Darsie'sheart. During the first days after the tragic happening Dan had been atower of strength, always at hand to comfort, support, and take everydifficulty upon his own shoulders. To outward appearance Darsie hadappeared oblivious of his presence, but subconsciously she had leaned onhis strength with a profound relief. It was hard to have Dan withdrawinto his shell just as she was beginning to long for his presence; buthe _had_ withdrawn, and like most naturally shy and reticent people,withdrawn farther than ever, as if in reaction from his unusualdemonstration.
In hall itself the absence of Margaret France made a big blank. Havingpassed her tripos with a first class, Margaret had placidly returnedhome to help her mother in the house, and take part in an ordinarysocial life. "What a waste!" cried her Newnham acquaintances, butMargaret's friends, remembering her own words on the subject, believedthat she had chosen the better part.
With October came the return to Newnham, and for the first few weeks anaccess of grief and depression. It was hard to fall into the old lifeshorn of its greatest interest, to be reminded of Ralph at every turn,to see his friends pass by, laughing and gay, while his place was blank.
Then it was that Darsie discovered the real tenderness of heart whichlies beneath the somewhat callous exterior of the college girl.Freshers, second-year girls, even austere thirds themselves, combined tosurround her with an atmosphere of kindness and consideration. No_word_ of sympathy was ever spoken, but almost every hour of the daybrought with it some fresh deed of comfort and cheer. Offerings offlowers, tendered by a friend, or laid anonymously on "burry" or coffin;bags of fruit and cake, invitations galore, surprise visits to her ownstudy, each in turn bringing a gleam of brightness to the day. PlainHannah, too, dear old plain Hannah! In the midst of her grief Darsiewas filled with amusement at Hannah's unique fashion of showing hersympathy. Hot water evidently commended itself to her mind as the idealmedium, for at a dozen hours of the day and night the door of Darsie'sstudy would open and Hannah would appear on the threshold, steaming canin hand. Early morning, eleven o'clock, before lunch, before tea,before dinner, before cocoa, before bed, Hannah and her can never failedto appear. For the first half of the Michaelmas term Darsie mightliterally have been described as never out of hot water.
And now it was the Lent term; eight months had passed by since the dateof Ralph's death, and it surely behoved Darsie to rise above herdepression, and to throw herself once more into the full, happy life ofthe house. She was thankful to do it, thankful to welcome dawnings ofthe old zest, to feel her feet involuntarily quicken to a dance, todiscover herself singing as she moved to and fro. The winter hadpassed; spring was in the air. It seemed right that it should be in herheart also.
As usual in the Lent term, hockey was the one absorbing subject outside"shop," and Hannah Vernon, now advanced to the lofty position ofcaptain, had special reasons for welcoming her friend's revivingspirits.
One chilly day in February she entered Darsie's study with a somewhatunusual request.
"The girls are getting restive, and think that it's quite time we hadanother fancy match. They want me to arrange one on the spot. It's soblighting to be told that one is so clever, and looked to forinspiration. Every idea forsakes one on the instant. You've beenhibernating for an age, you ought to have lots stored up!"
"I haven't--I've grown hideously dull. What did we have last?"
"Thicks against Thins! Never shall I forget it! To play forward paddedwith three separate cushions, and with shawls wound round your limbs, isthe sort of thing one rises to _once_ in a lifetime, but never twice. Imade an adorable fat woman! The Thins had no spirit left in them whenthey beheld my bulk. I vote that we don't have anything that involvespadding this time. One never knows one's luck."
"No-o! I think we might hit on something more subtle," Darsieruminated, with her eyes on the ceiling. Her reputation of being theNewnham belle remained unchallenged after two separate incursions ofFreshers.
As she sat before a "burry," clad in a blue, pinafore-like garment, fromwhich emerged white silk sleeves to match the collar and yoke, her handabsently turning over a pile of notebooks, bound in green and blue androse, she made a striking contrast to Hannah Vernon in a cinnamon coatand skirt, built for wear by a cheap tailor on the principle of "thereor thereabouts." Even the notebooks reflected the personality of theirowners, for the one which Hannah carried was of the shiny blackpersuasion which seemed to proclaim that, being made for good solidwork, it disdained the affectation of beauty. Plain Hannah's littleeyes twinkled affectionately at her old friend. She detached a pencilfrom a chain which dangled by her side, and said tentatively--
"Subtle--yes! Good biz! Let's have a Subtler by all means."
"I--was thinking--we might have something touching upon futurepossibilities. I've not quite got it yet, but something about bridesand spinsters. Future br
ides--budding brides--beautiful brides."
"Easy enough to have adjectives for the brides. Where do the spinsterscome in?"
"Oh, one would have to infer--subtly, of course--that they _would_ bespinsters! That would be adjective enough. Embryo spinsters--preparatory spinsters--p-p-probable spinsters. I have it! I have it!`Possible Brides against Probable Spinsters!'"
"Ha!" ejaculated Hannah, and drew her forefinger slowly down her nose."_Good_! Top hole. Amusin', but--injudicious? Shouldn't mind one rapmyself; lead off the Probables with a cheer. But, I fear me, there'd bebrickbats floating in the air. How much would you take in coin of therealm to go up to Vera Ruskin and invite her to play for the spinsters?Personally I'd rather be excused."
"I'd volunteer as a start! Love to do it!"
"Ye-es! Just so. Noble of you, no doubt; but unconvincing," returnedHannah dryly. "No! It's a fine suggestion in theory, but in practiceI'm afraid it won't work. I don't want to imperil my popularity forgood. Think of something a trifle less searching! Er--er--Slackersagainst--against what? Slackers against Swotters! How would that dofor a change?"
Darsie curled her little nose.
"Dull! No scope. How would you dress?"
"Oh-h! The Swotters might have bandages round their heads, and studynotebooks between play. The Slackers would just--could just--"
"Just so! `Could just'! Too feeble, my dear! It won't do. What aboutworth and charm? Might make up something out of that. Worth, solidworth, genuine worth--"
"Moral worth!"
"That's it! Moral Worth against Charm, personal charm! That'll do it.That'll do it! _Moral Worth against Personal Charm_. Nobody can beoffended at being asked to represent Moral Worth."
"They will, though! The female heart is desperately wicked," returnedHannah shrewdly. "But if they do it's their own look-out. We'llpreserve a high and lofty tone, and be _surprised_! Thanks awfully, oldgirl. It's an adorable idea. What price the Moral Worth costume--eh,what?"
The Hockey captain went off chuckling, and excitement ran high in thehockey world when the thrilling announcement was posted that afternoon."For which side shall I be asked to play?" Forwards, Backs, and Goalsalike agitated themselves over these questions, and, sad to relate,Hannah proved a true prophet, for while an invitation from the `PersonalCharm' captain aroused smiles of delight, the implication of `MoralWorth' was but coldly received.
Darsie Garnett herself was conscious of an electric shock of the mostunpleasant nature when, but half an hour after the posting of thenotice, the "Moral Worths" invited her to join their ranks! With allthe determination in the world, she found it impossible to repress astart of surprise, and was acutely conscious of smothered giggles ofamusement from those around. She accepted, of course, withprotestations of delight, and ten minutes later found balm in the shapeof an invitation from the rival team. The "Personal Charms" deploredDarsie's loss, but considered it a masterpiece of diplomacy on the partof the "Moral Worth" captain to have headed her team with the name ofthe Newnham Belle. "No one could be snarkey after that!"
The two teams held committee meetings on the subject of costumes, whichwere kept a dead secret until the hour for the match had arrived, when alarge body of spectators awaited their arrival on the ground, withexpectations pleasantly excited. The "Personal Charms" appeared first,marching in pairs with heads erect, and stamped on each face thatbrilliant, unalterable, toothy smile affected by actresses of inferiorrank. Each head was frizzed and tousled to about twice its naturalsize, and crowned by an enormous topknot of blue ribbon. White blousesand skirts, blue belts, ties, and hose completed an attractive costume,and as a finishing touch, the handle of the hockey-stick was embellishedwith a second huge blue bow.
From a spectacular point of view the "Personal Charms" were certainly anunusually attractive spectacle, but as regards popularity with the"field," they fell far behind the rival team. The "Moral Worths"allowed a judicious time to elapse after the appearance of the "PersonalCharms," and then, just as the spectators were beginning to waximpatient, excitement was aroused by the appearance of a white banner,borne proudly aloft in the arms of two brawny Forwards. Printed on thebanner were two lines of poetry, which at nearer view proved to be ahighly appropriate adaptation--
"Be good, sweet maid, And let who will be charming!"
Certainly the "Moral Worths" had been at pains to disguise any charmthey possessed! Even Darsie herself looked plain with her hair draggedback into a tight little knot, her grey flannel shirt padded into thesimilitude of stooping shoulders, her skirt turned carefully back tofront. With lumping gait and heavy footsteps the team marched round thefield, and drew up beside the beaming "Personal Charms," who despite theblasts of easterly wind through summer muslin blouses, continued tosmile, and smile, and smile.
Throughout the heated game which followed the "Moral Worths" weredistinctly the favourite team; nevertheless, it is the deplorable truththat the "Personal Charms" won at a canter, despite the handicap oftheir beribboned sticks.
When, tired and muddy, Darsie reached her study again, it was to find apostcard from Lavender which a kindly Fresher had laid upon her "burry."It bore but a few words written in large characters, and plentifullyunderlined--
"_Which team were you asked to play for_?"
What a glow of satisfaction it gave one to be able to reply, truthfullyand accurately, with one short, illuminating--"_Both_!"
Among the other joys of the last terms, one shone out pre-eminent inDarsie Garnett's estimation. She was Prime Minister! It seemed almosttoo splendid to be true! She, who three years before had made her firstappearance at Political as the bashful representative of Bootle-cum-Linacre, to have advanced to this dizzy height of power! To be captainof the Hockey Club paled into insignificance before this crowninghonour, but as Hannah was "Speaker," Darsie was unable to crow as loudlyas she would have done if her friend's place had been below the gangway.
Political was held in College Hall on Monday evenings at eight o'clock,and in old-fashioned style the members were divided into three parties,Conservatives, Liberals, and Unionists, whose seats were so arranged asto form three sides of a square.
Viewed from afar there was a strong element of humour about this mockParliament. Prophetic it might be, but it was distinctly droll to hearHonourable Members addressed as "Madam," while some of the statutesembodied in the Constitution-book were quite deliciously unexpected, thespecial one, which ran, "_Members occupying the front benches arerequested not to darn stockings during Political_" being a constantsource of delight to parents and friends.
Darsie was a Liberal. Members of the Opposition accused her openly ofSocialism. _What! shall we sacrifice our brother man for the sake ofthe demon gold_? she would declaim with waving hands and cheeks aflame,whereat the Liberals would cheer as one girl, and even the Conservativesthemselves be moved to admiration.
Debates relating to Education, Suffrage, and the House of Lords wereheld during the winter months, but the crowning excitement followed adaring Bill introduced by the Liberal party for the abolishment of theUnionists _in toto_, on the ground that, being neither fish, flesh, norgood red herring, they acted but as a drag on the wheels of progress.The benches were crowded to their fullest capacity on the occasion ofthis historic debate; even the Dons themselves came in to listen, andthe whips flew round the corridors, giving no quarter to the fewskulkers discovered at work in their studies, until they also wereforced into the breach. As a result, the Unionist party, supported byModerates on both sides, achieved a brilliant and decisive victory.
So much for Political, but the Prime Minister occupied another proudposition, for Margaret France's prophecy had been fulfilled, and Darsiewas now captain of the Clough Fire Brigade. Beneath her were twolieutenants, and two companies, each seven girls strong, and the duty ofchoosing times of the utmost inconvenience and unpreparedness for drillalarms rested entirely at her discretion. When the fire-bell rang,every member of the b
rigade must leave whatever she happened to beabout, and dash pell-mell to the assembling-ground on an upper story.There the force ranked up in order, the captain explained the localityand nature of the supposed conflagration, and each "man" received "his"own instruction--one to shut windows and ventilators, and so diminishdraughts, another to uncoil the hose, a third to affix the nozzle, andso on. The work was accomplished, examined by the authorities, and the"men" were back on the top landing, ranked up in their original order,in an incredibly short space of time, when the captain gave a sharpcriticism of the performance, followed by a few questions to test thegeneral knowledge of the staff: Where was Mary Murray's study? What wasits aspect? What was the nearest water supply? Etcetera.
One excuse for non-attendance, and one only, was allowed to passmuster--a member who chanced to be in a hot bath what time the bell rangforth the alarm might lie at ease and smile at the scurry without,health and the risk of chill being considered before imaginary dangers.If, however, the bath were _cold_, out she must get, dash into the coatand skirt which, for members of the fire brigade, supplanted theordinary dressing-gown, and take her place with the rest.
Nor--with Darsie Garnett as captain--was it any use to attemptdeception, as a tired little Fresher discovered to her cost, when shenaughtily turned a warm stream into her cold bath and refused to budge.No sooner were lightning-like instructions rapped out upstairs than downflew the irate captain, rapped at the door, demanded admission, and--inthe absence of steam upon the wall--sentenced the cringing truant to amonth's suspension of privileges.
Nor was Darsie's own position free from anxiety, for once in a term itwas the prerogative of the brigade to surprise the captain, and woebefall her prestige if, on that occasion, she were found wanting! Coat,skirt, and slippers lay nightly on a chair by her bedside, together withthe inevitable pile of notebooks, and she felt a burden off her mindwhen the alarm had come and gone.
Deep, deep down in the recesses of Darsie's mind there slumbered a fellambition. If there could be a _real_ fire before her term of officeexpired! Not a serious one, of course--nothing to imperil the safety ofthe dear old house, but just sufficient to cause a _real_ alarm, andgive the brigade an opportunity of demonstrating its powers! It wasalmost too aggravating to be borne, to hear one morning that a second-year girl had indulged in a study fire, and had extinguished it of herown accord. Extinguished by private effort, when a captain, twolieutenants, and fourteen "men" were languishing for an opportunity toexhibit their powers! The captain spoke sternly to the second-yeargirl, and rebuked her.
"How," she demanded, "can you _expect_ a reliable force, if preciousopportunities are to be wasted like this? Curtains ablaze, and thebedclothes singeing. We may wait for _years_ for another suchopportunity!"
"But where do _I_ come in?" cried the second-year girl. "I gave ten andsixpence for that quilt. And a jug of water standing close at hand! Itwas only human nature--"
"I hope," returned the captain of the Fire Brigade icily--"I _hope_ thatis not the spirit in which you propose to go through life. It's a poorthing if you cannot sacrifice a ten-and-sixpenny quilt in the interestof the public good." And she stalked majestically from the room.