Chapter fifteen
Tone
Kalli woke up to find Lupe was long gone. Kalli didn’t have any classes today because it was Saturday. Only people who had a class to make up had to go in this morning. Lupe had to go because she ducked out of class to save her from Drake, same with Percy and the twins. But if Kalli’s watch was correct the class was just about to end. Just as they had the day before, the tears came in waves. First slow then came the waterfalls down her cheeks.
Eventually the tears stopped. Her chest felt sore, like everything inside her had been sucked out. She just sat staring at the wall, her face emotionless. She heard a light rap on the door. “Did you forget your key again Lupe?” She called just loud enough for her voice to carry through the wood door.
“I do not know,” a male voice came back through the door. “Probably though. That sounds like her.”
“Masashi? Lupe’s not here.”
“I know. She is out for lunch with some other fourth years. I came to see you. I have something I wish to discuss with you.”
“I’m not up for a debate today,” she said her voice thin. “I’m sick,” she coughed trying to convince him but his silence proved he didn’t believe her. “Fine, come in. Door’s unlocked.”
The door opened and Masashi grinned. “I should have tried that first.”
“Why are you here?” Kalli asked, getting straight to the point.
“No small talk, huh? Fine by me, I despise the stuff.”
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“You are correct,” He grinned again but it disappeared quickly. “I came to see you. I wanted to see if you were alright. See if maybe I could help you,” he sat on the bed next to her laying his arms over his knees and turning his head to face her. The hunch of his back put him in her level. It made him less intimidating.
“Well I’m fine. I don’t need any help,” She got up from the bed, not liking anyone being within three feet of her but she immediately felt light headed.
“You are a rotten liar,” Masashi said catching her easily and pulling her back onto the bed. “I was afraid of this. Your blood sugar is low. Here, eat this,” He pulled a chocolate and peanut bar out of his jeans pocket.
“Thanks.”
“Just eat,” He sighed. “Now, on the depression scale, Drake is a five and perfectly fine is a one. One a scale from one to ten, how bad is it?”
“Eight point seven,” Kalli swallowed the rest of the chocolate and wiped her mouth. “Thanks Masashi.”
“What happened, Kalli? I need you to tell me what happened between you and Percy,” His voice was level and calm.
Kalli told him what happened from when she got stuck in the closet with Percy and Percy leaving her dorm angry. She tried to make sure that Masashi thought she didn’t like Percy.
“Why did you lie? Why did you not just follow your feelings and kiss him back.”
“I don’t have feelings for him.”
Masashi sighed. “Kalli, look, here is how it is. You can lie to your mom, to Drake, to Lupe, even to Percy. But you cannot lie to me. I understand how to tell what people are feeling and I have a pretty good read on you. When you lie you feel anxious, dirty, and sad. Am I right?”
He was right on. “How did you know that?”
“You are very easy to read and I have had years of practice,” he smiled slightly proud of himself.
“Show off.”
Masashi shrugged. “Now, my awesome talents are not in question here. Why did you lie to Percy by saying you do not love him?”
“It’s not fair to him. He is kind, patient, and loving. I’m broken pieces. I’m no good for him. He deserves better than that, than me.”
“Kalli you sell yourself short. You do not see yourself clearly at all. As for broken pieces, that may be true, but can you not be healed? Let us heal you, is that so hard?”
Kalli hung her head. “No, it’s just...hard to trust. Even if I know I can trust the person."
“Well, can you trust family?”
Kalli shrugged. “Yeah, I guess, but I don’t have much of a family. I mean, Dad’s dead, Mom’s disowned me; I have no aunts or uncles that I know of. I’m pretty much on my own."
“Wrong again,” Masashi poked her shoulder. “You have six other people in your family. Lupe and I are like your mom and dad; you have a cousin, Dragen and three brothers, Sasha, Demitri and Percy. It is part of being in Data Venia. Being a part of the family.
Kalli giggled. “So my father is suggesting that I date my brother?”
“I suggest if the chance arises again that, yes, you give it a chance. But…I would not confuse poor Percival further. Try to be his friend, wait for him to come to you.”
“I would like that, to be his friend again.”
Masashi slid off the bed, pulling himself upward, “Now, come on, princess. Ice cream. On me. Get dressed. I will be waiting in the lobby. Five minutes or I send two of your brothers to come and find you.”
Kalli jumped up. The last thing she needed today was the twins coming after her.
“One vanilla scoop, please.”
“No, ignore her. She will have a double fudge chocolate brownie sundae, and I will have the coffee lovers mix.”
Kalli cocked her head. “And what if I don’t want that?
“You do believe me. You need some chocolate and it is to die for.”
Five minutes later…
“Mmm, Masashi. You were right,” Kalli dug into the hot and cold sundae enjoying the warm brownies and chocolate fudge topping the cold soft ice cream.
Masashi smiled. “Told you so.”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what? Order great sundaes? Well you see, I walk up to the counter after reading the menu. I see what looks…”
“No, I meant, how are you so good with the emotional factor? I don’t mean to be rude, but it doesn’t seem like you have emotions to relate to.”
Masashi laughed. For the first time since Kalli had known him, he flat out laughed. “What is so funny?”
“You,” Masashi choked through his chortles. “You think that? Really?”
“Yes I do,” Kalli said matter-of-factly.
“Kalli, I assure you I have emotions,” Masashi said still smiling brightly. “I think you fell for the calm and cold act I put on. I usually open up as I get closer to people, but I guess I forgot with you. I apologize for the confusion.”
“So--let me get this straight--you are not an android?”
That got him started laughing again, harder than last time.
“I’ll take that as a no,” Kalli said sitting back in her chair and giggled at Masashi who was nearly falling out of his chair. It took him at least two minutes to resolve to just smiling.
“Is that what you thought? I was some kind of artificial intelligence?”
“Well when I think ‘Masashi’ I think of something always processing information, but in human form. Like a robot of some kind.”
“I guess that is, sadly, a good description of me. My mind is always moving,” he frowned slightly at the comparison.
“As I thought--You never answered my original question. How are you so good at this?”
“Yes, I do not believe I did. Well…”
“What is this?” A horribly familiar voice demanded angrily. “Masashi, explain!”
Masashi put his hands up in surrender. “Look, Percy, just because she is out of your favor, does not mean she is out of mine. I am her friend and I am having a nice time enjoying so some ice cream. If you would like to join us you are welcome, but on one condition: Play nice. And grumpy-pants sit on the floor.”
“That is two conditions,” Percy huffed, but he sat on a stool at the table. Kalli did not help but notice that he chose the one slightly closer to Masashi, the one away from her.
“Glad you could join us Percy,” Masashi chuckled.
“What’s so funny?” Kalli asked, trying to smile as if nothing was wrong.
“Robots,” M
asashi started off laughing again.
“Pardon?” Percy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
“He thinks it’s funny I thought he was similar to an android,” Kalli said giggling tightly at her own silliness combined with the awkwardness of the situation.
Percy’s mouth dropped in shock and humor. “You thought Masashi was some kind of machine,” He snorted, “I understand why he is nearly rolling on the ground,” He smiled at her but his eyes clicked and the easy smile disappeared nearly instantly into an uncharacteristic frown.
“Don’t do that. Please. I beg of you.”
“Do what?” He asked pretending nothing was wrong and the last few seconds had never happened.
“Ice me out. Can’t you be my best friend again? Just like old times? Before things got...complicated.”
“It is not that easy, Kalli.”
“Says who?! Who wrote that rule? Do we need to start over again? Round three! I can do that! Hey, I’m Kalli. Are you Percy? I have heard a lot about you. You’re part of i aren’t you? I am too!”
Percy threw his hand over her mouth. “Kalli! Stop talking! Please. Ouch! Why did you bite me?!”
“You put your hand in front of my mouth. What did you expect?” Kalli said as if it was quite obvious he was just being dumb. “Are we friends now? I mean with us both being in Data Venia it would only make sense.”
“Look, I think you took a chunk out of my hand,” He showed her his hand. She pinned it down on the table with both of her hands.
“Ha! You aren’t getting your hand back until you agree to be my friend again! Because, I miss my Percy,” Kalli’s voice was frantic. She knew that if he really wanted to, Percy could get his hand back. She just hoped he wouldn’t.
His head hung. “Kalli, I want to, I really do. I just do not know if I can be a good friend to you.”
“You always could before.”
“See, there, that's the trick: Before. This, right now, this is the after that no one seems to think exists. It's not the same as before, and it never will be,” he started to pull on his hand but she pressed harder.
“So is it all a waste? All the memories? Every word? Every fight? Every peace treaty? Has it all been for nothing? Did we go through all that, just to forget about it?” Kalli’s eyes were fixed on Percy’s. They were hard and unyielding, but they were vulnerable. “I refuse to believe that’s how you want things to be.”
“Just because I don't want something, does not mean it shouldn't be that way,” His eyes were cold, detached.
“Maybe it does! Maybe this sinking feeling I get in my stomach whenever I think I might lose you means we should always be friends. Always be part of each other’s lives. What’s your gut telling you Percy?”
He didn’t respond for several moments. He took a deep breath and whispered, barely audibly. “That something is horribly wrong when I am not by your side.”
“So why do you refuse to try? That’s all I’m asking. Try to go back to three days ago. Before any of this ever happened.”
“There is that word again.”
“What word.”
“Before," he said. "You cannot go back Kalli. And neither can I. no matter how much I might wish it.”
“Why are you afraid?”
“Because," He paused. He couldn’t finish his sentence.
“Because why?”
“Because I do not have enough control! If…If I repeated my behavior in your dorm, I would never forgive myself. I can’t even forgive myself now. Kalli…you are hurting my hand.”
Kalli lifted her hands setting Percy free. He shook it to get blood back to his fingertips. “Sorry, I just hoped…”
Percy started to stand. “It is fine Kalli. We all hope,” He began to walk away and called over his shoulder. “I will think about it.”
“How will I know when you have finished thinking?”
“You will know,” The door slammed behind him.
***