She shook her head, sitting back down on the bench. She watched as Anna continued to make balls of fire and light float around like enormous fireflies. She couldn’t resist wanting to reach out and touch one. Instead, she concentrated on making sure none of the balls of fire hit James, who was standing way too close to Benton and Anna.
She watched them until her eyeballs dried out. Blinking, she sat back, letting herself relax just a bit as she fumbled with her ampule of Santiran Water around her neck. She watched them drop some of the flaming balls onto the dead grass, fire flaring up instantly. Shade jumped to her feet, searching for the hose that lay snaked across the lawn to douse the flames. She turned the spout on and sent a spray as far as it would reach, hitting the flames with a blast of water. The flames hissed and died, leaving shadows on the blackened earth and dead grass.
One fireball flared up some of the drier brush near the edge of the lawn, sending Benton scrambling as it lit up, angrily eating the kindling as it hurried toward the house.
“Crap! I can’t control it, it’s too wild now!” Benton yelled out as he waved his arms frantically, calming some of the flames but unable to keep up as new spots flared up. Anna grabbed the hose as Shade handed it to her.
If Mom was here, she could douse it, thought Shade as she ran closer, racking her brain for what to do. Fingering her necklace, she gasped. The ampule of course!
Shade grasped her amulet of Santiran Water. She could feel the magic seep out into her. She held her hands up, gathering the water spraying from the hose and began to send it spraying along the bottom of the raging fire. The flames fought back, angrily bursting up into the air and grabbing onto more dried grass and brush. The heat burned and the water dissipated into columns of steam. Shade breathed in again. She closed her eyes, trying to pull water from not only the hose but the air and clouds above, too. She could feel the air shift as she willed a storm to gather and begin to dump its cooling downpour over the fire and them.
Clouds of steam continued to hiss and float away as the flames calmed and withered under the heavy rain. Shade finally opened her eyes, watching the sheets of water pour down onto the scorched earth. Breathing hard, she let the cool water ease the sudden exhaustion that flowed through her bones. This was the most water she had ever wielded, more than the light drizzles of rain she had conjured up before. She collapsed down onto her hands and knees, feeling a drip of warm, oozing blood from her nose trickle down her lips and chin.
“Shade! Are you okay? Shoot, shoot, shoot!” Benton knelt down next to her, their clothes already soaked through. His dark hair clung to his face in matted, drenched curls. Shade nodded as she looked at him, wiping her nose on her shirt. He helped her stand on her wobbly feet. Her head swam as the world seemed to spin. Her eyes rolled back as she blinked, fighting unconsciousness. Only the cool splashing of the rain kept her awake, reminding her to keep her eyes open.
“Hold on, Sis. Let’s get you to the house.” Anna took her other arm and helped Benton as they practically dragged her back into the house. Shade managed a glance toward where the fire had eaten its path. Small tendrils of smoke were all that were left its rage. The tinkering of rain on the roof filled her ears as the rain continued its pounding.
“Grab some blankets and towels, Anna! James, help her, and hurry up before I put Shade on the couch.” Shade heard more than she saw. Her vision wavered in and out. Shadows and light flickered as she tried to regain focus.
I’m gonna be sick!
“Um, bring her a bucket too!” Benton plopped her down on the soft towels Anna had laid over some blankets. Shade’s clothes stuck to her like a second skin, feeling cold and making her shiver. She rolled over as Benton fitted a bucket in her hands.
The wave of nausea subsided as she breathed in hard. She let Anna take the bucket from her and rolled back into the warm bliss of blankets that were now wrapped around her. Shade let the darkness fill her vision until nothing but quiet and black cocooned her.
*****
“I DON’T KNOW what you were thinking. Playing with fire is not a game! You’re young and untrained, and you’re irresponsible to boot. You can’t be wielding fire without my supervision. Is that understood? You too, Anna.” Jade’s voice echoed from the kitchen into the living room where it roused Shade. Her eyes blinked, adjusting to the dim light of the room.
Gosh, this is a familiar scene. Shade tried to sit up on the couch but quickly sank back down as her temples throbbed in protest. Oh, ow, ow, ow! She grabbed her head as the pain surged through it. As she waited, it calmed to a dull ache. Her healing magic was working, but she still felt depleted and worn out.
“Shade, are you up? Feeling better? Here, drink this. It helps you get better faster and re-energizes you.” Her mother said as she came to sit on the couch next to her, handing her a cup of sweet liquid. Shade drank it greedily and felt better almost immediately. She closed her eyes, letting the liquid run its course through her. Shade glanced up to her mother and smiled. Jade’s concern shone in her eyes as she studied her daughter’s face.
“Yeah, I feel much better now. Thank you. How’s everyone else? How long have I been out?” Shade looked around the room but only spotted Soap, sitting quietly in the armchair next to the couch. She smiled weakly at him as he grinned at her.
“Everyone is fine. You’ve been out for about an hour. I need you to do something. I’m hoping you can get up and work some magic that only you can do. How ‘bout it? Feel up to it? If not, I can get you some more elixir to help you out.” Jade’s voice was shielding something as she helped Shade slowly sit up.
“Um, yeah. I think I can. Why, what’s going on?” Shade furrowed her brow, staring at her mother’s blank face.
“It’s nothing serious, really, but if you don’t shut off the rain, it will be.” Jade’s face cracked into a smile as they both burst out laughing.
“I guess I went overboard there! At least nothing else caught fire.” Shade sighed, thinking back to the raging fire that had almost reached the house.
“Yes, indeed. I already told Benton and Anna to be more careful. I have to start training them, or we might not have a house left to live in!” Jade smiled, and her warm, motherly self resurfaced on her face. Shade had missed it. Everything had been so different since she’d returned. She’d been sure nothing would return to the way it was before, especially her mother. “So whenever you’re ready, we should shut off the water spout of heaven before we need an ark.” Jade winked at her.
“Okay, I’m ready.” Shade tried to stand but found her legs very shaky and weak. Soap was at her side in a flash and practically carried her to the back porch. Sitting her on a chair, he let his arms slide away from her slowly, staring into her eyes as he relished her touch. Shade flushed as she smiled, brushing her stiff, disheveled hair away from her face. She decided must have looked a wreck after sleeping with her hair sopping wet. She bit her tongue, trying not to think about it.
Shade watched the rain as it tapped its rhythm on the roof and rippled the small puddles now forming in the grass. The ground was saturated. She wondered if she could make it flood. Probably, if I really wanted to. She smiled, fingering the ampule around her neck and willing the power to swirl around her. She held her hands out, feeling the rain’s power vibrating in the atmosphere. It felt wonderful, cool and radiating power. It would do what she wanted: pour, spray, drizzle or gather into a fierce, rushing wave. It felt exhilarating and made her skin tingle with magic. She let the energy fill her as she pulled it back into her, wrangling in the storm.
She took her time. The last time she’d let the magic fly madly out of her, and it caused her to weaken and wear out too fast. She breathed in slowly as the magic funneled back to her, swirling into the ampule around her neck. The clouds dispersed and the blackened storm clouds faded until the rain was all but gone. Opening her eyes, she grinned, feeling proud and elated she was able to control the magic this time. Soap hugged her as they all praised her efforts.
“See? I knew you could do it, Shade!” Soap reluctantly let go as Jade tapped his shoulder, motioning for him to move. He stepped away as Jade now hugged Shade.
“Mom,” Shade groaned as she squirmed in the chair from all of the attention. She felt more like herself and didn’t want to be babied or treated like an invalid. She sat in the chair a while longer as she watched the sun shine down, slowly drying up the sodden grass and trees. Huge droplets of water dripped down from the porch roof and glistened in the light. She smiled, hoping their happiness would last.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“WHERE ARE YOU going?” Shade stood at the doorway of Soap’s room as he stuffed his recently cleaned and sharpened weapons. She watched him nervously as he finished depositing the last sword into his pack and stuffed a dagger in a scabbard strapped to his belt.
“Nowhere,” he said. “I’m just stowing away my weapons, making sure they’re ready to go just in case I need them.” He turned toward her as he dropped the bag onto the bed and came to stand before her. He reached out, sweeping a loose strand of her hair out of her face. Her eyes darted back and forth across his handsome face. She was feeling torn, and attempted to hide her panic. “Why so nervous? I said I wouldn’t leave you, didn’t I?” He pulled her close and embraced her in a warm hug. She let his scent envelope her as she pushed the crazy thoughts of him possibly leaving out of her mind.
“Sorry, it’s just that for a second there, I thought you were going to leave, too. Just like….”
“Just like Dylan?” Soap stepped back away from her, studying her eyes and searching them for whatever it was he was looking for. His lips pressed together, firmly and with slight irritation. “I thought you wouldn’t think of me like that,” he sighed as he tied up the end of his bag on the bed. He refused to look back at her as he finished and started on his clothes, folding the freshly washed trousers and shirts. He’d taken to using khaki cargo pants and jeans while living with her instead of the linen and leather pants he usually wore in Faerie. He was a pair of jeans at the moment. They were soft and worn, and clung to him like a well-worn glove. She couldn’t help but gaze at his arm muscles as they rippled while he worked. He was not a wimpy kind of guy, and it had not escaped her notice.
“I’m sorry,” Shade stumbled as she spoke to him. “I didn’t mean for you to think I was thinking of you like that. I can’t help it if I still miss Dylan. We are still bound, and I don’t know how to undo it. The way I feel probably has something to do with it.” She sat down in the chair next to the bed, moving a pair of his boots from the chair to the floor.
Soap turned to her. His eyebrows furrowed as his stare intensified. His eyes turned dark green as he continued to stare, making her gulp. She could feel something upsetting him. His eyes were like a mood ring which never lied.
“Shade, I don’t think it has anything to do with that at all,” he said as he sat down on the bed and ran his fingers through his long hair, ruffling it up and causing some strands to dangle out of place. “Do you know what I mean, Shade?”
“No. What do you mean?” She pulled her legs up onto the chair and leaned on her knees, tightly hugging her calves and dreading his answer.
“I mean that even though you have given us a chance, even though I have tried to give you everything your heart desires, I’m still on the outside looking in. I worry I won’t see your face light up again, the way it lights up when you look at him. I’m wide open, but I keep banging against your walls. I just don’t know, Shade. It’s been a month, and I am no closer to getting into your heart than I was before. Is there anything I can do? Anything at all, aside from magic of course, which can change your heart?” He watched her as she rocked silently on the chair, wringing her fingers together as her head lay sideways on her knees.
“I don’t know,” she croaked. “I don’t know anything.” Letting go of her legs, she let them slip to the floor. “What do you want me to say? I said I had no guarantees. I’m sorry if that’s not what you’re looking for.” Shade held her gaze to the wooden floorboards, afraid to meet his eyes. She wanted to fall in love with him. He was everything she should want, but it wasn’t enough. Somehow, she didn’t know why, it wasn’t him she was waiting for. She did love him in her own way, but it didn’t fill the hole left gaping in her chest when Dylan had left.
“Besides, you haven’t been totally honest with me, Soap. You never have told me what Dylan meant when he said you weren’t telling me everything.” She sucked in her breath, bit down on her lip and closed her eyes.
I sound so childish! How do I get out of this? Think, think, think!
Soap knelt down before her in a flash. His eyes burned in fury, but he kept it in control as he cupped her chin gently and held her face so that they were eye to eye.
“Shade, you want to know why it is that no one trusts me? Fine. I had hoped not to have to retell it, for it was a very long time ago, and I don’t care to recall it. But for you, to make you happy, I can suffer through it one more time. But I do require that you at least look at me.” Soap’s voice was stern and cold.
Shade opened her eyes to stare straight into his. She waited quietly as he slumped back onto the floor, leaning his back and head against the bed. His face suddenly looked tired and defeated. She wanted to grab him and kiss him until that look faded away.
Why do I have to feel so conflicted inside?
“It was about a hundred years ago, when I was about twenty years old. Young for a faery, but an adult by human years,” Soap began. “I had just begun to control my powers. I tested them out often, changing into different faeries and using the different powers as I learned to master each one. Ilarial had sent me to live with the Teleen Clan to learn my heritage from them. I never discovered who my mother was or if she or my father was of that heritage. I guess I’m not destined to know. Either way, I spent months in their caverns learning their culture and ways as any Teleen should know, even a Halfling like me.
“Dylan was already captain of the Teleen Guard back then. He kept a close eye on me and all my dealings among them. I don’t think he ever trusted me. He was suspicious of everyone, even then. Well, to get to the point, while I was there, Jack was also a frequent visitor. One time, he came with a beautiful raven-haired human faery named Evangeline. She was a Fire Witch, and she was part Sidhe Fey, much like you. Everyone was fascinated by her. She had paired off with Jack and many of the men were jealous. Darren in particular was very intrigued by her. You could say it bordered on obsession. He hated that she’d chosen Jack and that they would soon be married. I now know he devised his plan to break them up in his sick, twisted way. I was young and naïve and a little too trusting.
He convinced me Evangeline was no good for Jack and that she meant him more harm than good. He knew about my Changeling powers and devised a plan for Evangeline to meet me in the guise of Jack and get her to admit to whatever treachery she was up to. So when the day came, I met her in a secluded place. Darren hid from sight to watch what would happen.
“When she came to that place, she was happy to see Jack. I spoke to her. I told her I no longer wanted or needed her. I told her that her human blood would be a taint to the Teleen bloodlines and I was ashamed to have thought that it would work out. I told her I didn’t love her at all.”
Soap stopped. His eyes glazed over at the long-ago memory, the horror of the moment repeating itself on his upset face. Shade sat wide-eyed, listening and hoping he’d somehow fixed it.
“You said that to her?” Shade’s voice came out soft and choked as tears stung her eyes. Oh no. Why would you do that, Soap? Why?
“Yes. And since she couldn’t see it was all a trick, she immediately ran and gathered her things. She ran so far away from Jack, he never even knew what had happened.
“After she left the secluded place where we’d met, I heard Darren laughing. He’d watched the whole thing and thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen. I grew infuriated. I ran toward him and started to hit him, r
ealizing what he had really meant to do was to break them up.
“Dylan arrived soon after. He obviously had been following his brother, and he broke apart the fight. He demanded to know what was going on and Darren cheerfully told him what we had done. I was so mad, I wanted to kill him. I don’t know how I could’ve been so stupid. By the time we made it back to the Caverns, she was long gone. There was nothing we could do except tell Jack that she had left.
“Dylan bound us to not tell anyone about what happened because Darren would’ve been in a whole lot of trouble. He was just trying to save his brother, but there was no one there to save me. I left Teleen after that. I tried, but I was never able to track Evangeline down to tell her the truth. Now too much time has passed, and I know she wouldn’t hear the truth even if I told her.”
Soap hung his head down, wiping away some tears which slipped from his eyes. His face remained solemn and still. Shade let go of the breath she held, not knowing what to say. No wonder Dylan never trusted him. And Jack, poor Jack! He was all but oblivious to it all. She wondered what else she could say. Soap was sorry, but messing things up for Jack and Evangeline like that was basically unforgiveable.
Shade slumped. She decided she wouldn’t judge him on that. It wasn’t her forgiveness he needed. She reached out toward him as she slipped to floor with him and touched his face. Trails of tears traced his cheeks as he blinked up at her. His eyes were dark as he silently wept. She sat next to him and embraced him from the side, leaning her head on his chest.
“Well, that’s something you live with every day, I bet. I know you would take it back if you could. I know you’re not evil or malicious inside, that’s not you. Don’t ever believe that. The day will come when you can make it right.” Shade turned toward him and smiled, brushing his long locks aside. He nodded, wiping the wetness from his face as he took a deep breath.