He pushed me right to the bed before leaning down and helping me out of it, propping me on the edge of the mattress.
I couldn’t control the grin on my face as he sat down next to me.
“This is… surreal,” Lawrence said, voicing my thoughts exactly.
“Yeah,” I murmured. Now that I thought of it, I was pretty sure that this was the same room that Lawrence had been brought to initially, when he had first arrived in The Shade. “Spooky.”
“Things are a lot less spooky now than they were a few hours ago,” Lawrence muttered.
I let out a dry laugh, before we both fell into silence. Things turned unexpectedly awkward between us as we gazed into each other’s eyes.
Then we both spoke at once:
“Grace, I—”
“Lawrence—”
We stopped at the same time, laughing.
I drew in a breath. “Lawrence… Just kiss me, will you?”
He was more than happy to oblige.
His arms moved around me and he drew me to him, placing my legs over his lap so that our faces could reach each other comfortably. Our lips inches apart, he closed his eyes and leaned closer, catching my lips in his. Exhilaration rushed through me. This wasn’t our first kiss, but we were alone this time, and for that reason, it felt like the first time all over again. Sweet, tender, passionate. All-consuming. I laid my arms over his shoulders while his palms grazed the small of my back, pulling me closer still.
As we drew apart for a breath, he said, “You can stay sick for as long as you like, Grace. I owe you a few rides in that wheelchair.”
I chuckled. “Thanks. Though I really don’t intend to drag out my recovery if I can help it.”
Truth be told, I was feeling very insecure right now. I was hardly looking my best—Miss Baldy with no nails. And here was Lawrence, looking—I wasn’t going to mince my words—damn hot, as this new macho man he had become. It almost felt like I didn’t deserve him.
I quickly pushed aside those thoughts, however, as he seemed to sense my self-consciousness. Maybe it was the way I had flinched as his fingertips brushed the base of my scalp, where my hair should’ve been.
His warm brown eyes gazed deep into mine as his thumbs caressed my cheeks. “You will always be beautiful to me, Grace,” he said, his voice soft and husky. “Always.”
I supposed he hadn’t exactly looked his best when he first arrived in The Shade.
As he moved in to kiss me again, I couldn’t help but grip his chin, stalling him and asking with one brow raised, “Even when I was a Bloodless?”
A smirk peeled across his face. “Uh, that’s probably pushing it a bit…”
I snorted as I let go of his chin and allowed him to reclaim my lips.
We leaned backward on the bed, rolling onto our sides and facing each other as we continued to lose ourselves in each other.
We were interrupted by an abrupt knock at the door. It burst wide open a second later. I barely managed to sit up before Orlando stepped into the room.
His face had been filled with anticipation, excitement—no doubt he had just heard that I had woken up, and he’d come in to greet me—but now he froze in his tracks. His face fell as he gazed at me, still wrapped in Lawrence’s arms.
“Orlando,” I managed, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Hey, how are you?”
His eyes returned fleetingly to me from Lawrence before he replied vaguely, “I’m fine… Just came in to see how you were. No worries. I’ll check back another time.”
He turned swiftly to leave the room.
“Wait,” I called, attempting to stand but remembering my weakness.
Orlando paused by the door, glancing furtively at me.
“The antidote,” I said. “When are we going to try it on you?”
“In a bit,” he said. “Corrine’s going to take me into her spell room with Dr. Finnegan so the two of them can examine my blood before giving me a dose… there’s just enough ingredients left in those tubes for me, or so they said.”
“I want to know how it goes,” I told him.
Orlando smiled fleetingly. “I’m sure you’ll hear from me about it, or through the grapevine.” With that, he left the room.
As Lawrence pulled me back down next to him and kissed me again, I felt a horrible twinge of guilt. Poor Orlando. He had been so good to me… I didn’t know how to respond to the longing in his eyes. I didn’t feel for him what I felt for Lawrence. We didn’t share the same spark. I loved Orlando but in a different way. Unfortunately for him, it looked like he was going to find himself trapped in the biggest cliché of all time. “I love you as my friend, Orlando,” I imagined myself saying. Ugh. Lame. But it was the truth. I wasn’t sure what else to be with Orlando but honest.
I needed to catch up with him. I owed him a heart to heart—and more.
But for now, I continued enjoying my time with Lawrence, whom I could now safely call my boyfriend.
Lawrence and I were left alone for about another half hour, before a second knock came at the door.
This time, it was my parents. They didn’t burst in as quickly as Orlando had, so Lawrence and I had more time to sit up and compose ourselves before they entered. To my surprise, my mother’s eyes were shining with tears.
“Mom? What’s wrong?” I asked her. Yet as she approached, I wasn’t sure if that was really the right question. Though she was crying, she did not look exactly sad. She just looked… breathlessly emotional.
She knelt down on the floor before me and held my hands. She kissed each of them before her turquoise eyes fixed on mine.
“You have a brother, Grace. A long-lost brother.”
River
As soon as I had laid eyes on Field, one of the Hawk half-blood boys, something stirred within me. It was his eyes. Aquamarine eyes, so close a shade to my own.
But as soon as they had arrived, everything became a blur of excitement and urgency. We were sure that we had the final ingredient to cure Grace. We had immediately gone about preparing the antidote and feeding it to Grace—but all the while, I kept glancing at Field. When he had offered to give his blood, I could hardly control my emotions. I was so sure that this was some twist of providence—my unknown and long-lost child returned to save his sibling.
After Corrine ushered everybody out of Grace’s room so that she could sleep, all I wanted to do was verify for a fact whether my instincts were accurate. I hadn’t wanted to unsettle Field—so I didn’t start stalking him or even talking to him. I waited with Ben in the hallway outside Grace’s room until Corrine emerged.
“I need you to carry out a DNA test,” I had told her.
She seemed to already be thinking along the same lines as me. She didn’t even ask whose blood I wanted to test—she already knew it was Field.
Ben, Corrine and I headed to the Sanctuary. Corrine already had a sample of Grace’s blood from prior to Grace’s turning, when she’d been trying to figure out how to stop the impending transformation. Grace’s blood would make for a better sample than my vampire blood.
Corrine wanted her spell room to herself as she started work, so Ben and I waited outside.
It was a bizarre feeling to be sitting there, waiting for Corrine’s news. I could hardly express it. I wasn’t sure what my reaction would be if it came up positive. I shared a son with somebody I didn’t even know. It must have been just as strange and uncomfortable for Ben. I held his gaze, wondering what he was thinking. He placed a hand on my knee and squeezed it, even as he kissed my cheek. He looked deep into my eyes and held the side of my face.
“Whatever the result turns out to be,” he said gently, “don’t think that it will change anything… If Field is your son, then he will be mine, too.”
Tears welled in my eyes as I clutched Ben’s face and kissed him hard. “I love you, Ben,” I whispered.
He held me close, providing me comfort when I needed it most. Anchoring me when I felt adrift in uncertainty.
; We were hardly breathing as Corrine finally emerged. It was hard to tell the result from her expression alone. She was doing a good job at pulling a poker face as she made her way toward us. The wait only made me more tense.
She ran her tongue over her lower lip before glancing from Ben to me. “Well,” she said, “would you really like to know the answer?”
Ugh. “Yes!” Ben and I urged at once.
“Okay… Your instincts were correct. Field is your son.”
Although I had truthfully been expecting this answer all along, I still wasn’t quite prepared for the tsunami of emotions that came over me. I wasn’t sure what to feel: excitement, that Grace had a sibling she’d so often said she’d wished for; grief, on considering what a terrible, neglected life Field had lived in my absence; or fear, over how this was all going to work. And over everything, curiosity burned within me to know who his father was. Whether he was even still alive.
My emotions manifested in uncontrollable tears. I found myself shaking and sobbing in Ben’s arms, even as he held me firmly and kissed my temple.
“Hey, it’s okay, baby,” he whispered, rubbing my back. “It’s okay.”
Could I even be a mother to him? Would he even accept me? Would he accept Ben?
We were complete strangers to each other. I wondered if the bridge between us could ever be closed.
This was all so strange. Stranger than a dream.
Corrine gave Ben and me some privacy, and I continued to cry in his arms until I could cry no more. I drew in deep shuddering breaths as I tried to compose myself. I should listen to what my husband said. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.
“We can go and talk to him in your own time,” Ben said. “There’s no rush.”
I nodded, clearing my throat. Though I actually did not want to drag this out. I wanted to talk to Field, now. Drawing it out would only leave me to speculate longer about how it would all go. How it would all work out.
I clutched Ben’s hand and kissed the back of it before raising my eyes to his. “I’d like to talk to him now. And I think that, at least initially, I should see him alone.”
Corrine escorted us back to the hospital. We found the five boys on the ground floor, sitting around a table in the dining room. They were gulping down a meal. Who knew the last time they had eaten proper food. Maybe even never.
I stood with Ben discreetly in the doorway of the dining hall, waiting until they had finished before daring to venture in alone and make my way toward Field, while Ben headed up to Grace’s room. Field was just dumping his disposable plate into a trashcan and I caught him turning around, our turquoise eyes meeting. He stopped still as he stared back at me, his thick brows lowering. Now that I examined him, I was sure that we shared a similar lip shape, too.
My voice caught in my throat. “Field,” I managed. “Could I… have a word with you?”
He looked at me uncertainly, but nodded. I sat down at an empty table with him, the two of us in opposite seats. I hesitated. How do I break this to him? I guessed there was really only one way… “Field, I… I’m your mother.”
He looked like he’d been stunned. His lips parting, his breath hitched. “What?”
“You were born from my egg. You are my son.”
God, this felt so weird. I could only imagine how Grace would react once I told her.
“One of our witches did a test,” I went on, my voice becoming more unsteady.
“Mother?” he mouthed.
“I’m afraid I don’t know who your father is,” I said. So don’t ask me that. Although I was curious, there was a part of me that hoped I would never find out who his father was. It would take the strangeness of the situation to a whole new level.
Field’s face only grew more stunned as I went on to explain how he must have been conceived. How my eggs had been stolen, and I never knew about his existence. How I never would have known, had it not been for Lawrence finding and bringing him here.
I talked and talked, and by the end, when he was still silent, I couldn’t bear to sit here facing him any longer. I stood up and moved around to him, placing my hands on his shoulders. He rose and, even as he stood much taller than me, I drew him in for a hug.
He was stiff at first beneath my embrace, but then his arms loosened and wrapped around me. These boys weren’t used to affection. I doubted Field had ever been hugged. The only constant in their lives had been each other.
I couldn’t stop the tears leaking from my eyes again now, even though I wished that they wouldn’t.
As we drew apart, my hands running down his arms and clasping his hands, we looked each other over again.
“Mother,” he repeated, as though he still couldn’t believe it. Neither could I. It would take a while for this revelation to sink in for all of us.
As I turned, I realized the other four boys were watching us. Unfortunately, I had no idea who their parents were. I couldn’t spot any of my traits in them, so I could only assume it was just Field created from one of my eggs. I wasn’t sure that my nerves could have hacked two surprise sons, so it was just as well.
“I’d like to take you to your half-sister,” I told Field. “She doesn’t know about our connection yet. Would you mind that?”
“I’d like it.”
“Okay,” I breathed.
Still holding Field’s hand, I led him out of the room and to the elevators, where we ascended to Grace’s floor. As we emerged and I caught sight of Ben, a warm smile spread across his face.
I led Field to him and introduced Ben. “This is my husband,” I told him. I was tempted to add, And the closest thing you have to a father, but there would be time for that later.
Field was in too much of a daze to smile back at Ben.
“And Grace, whom your blood saved, is your sibling,” I continued. “Is Grace awake?” I asked Ben.
“Yes. She came out here just a short while ago. Lawrence is with her now.”
I turned to Field. “Let me go in and break the news to her. Then you can meet her a second, proper time.”
Ben and I left Field in the hallway and entered Grace’s room to find her and Lawrence sitting on the bed. As I hurried to my daughter and knelt before her, I told her everything about Corrine’s findings. Her expression mirrored Field’s uncannily.
“Oh, my God,” she said, her voice choking up. “Wh-Where is he?”
I took that as my cue to return to the corridor and bring Field in. He eyed Grace nervously, then slowly moved toward her. As Grace attempted to stand up, Lawrence assisted her, holding her waist and steadying her as she reached out to brush her hand against Field’s right arm.
Through her moistening eyes, a smile shone through.
“My brother,” she managed, before throwing her arms around him and holding him in a tight hug. Then I heard her whisper into his ear: “Thank you.”
Grace
My brother.
I had a brother. I had heard my mother’s words and yet I still couldn’t believe it. Even in spite of his eyes, so close a color to my own. He had my mother’s lips, too.
Field’s expression was that of confusion, uncertainty, as though we both shared the same doubts. Could this really be happening?
“Are you sure, Mom?” I couldn’t help but clarify, even though I knew she would never have told me if she was not completely certain.
“Corrine ran a DNA test,” she said, her voice deep. “It’s true.”
This was so weird. Who was—or is—Field’s father? This must have been even weirder for my dad.
My mother explained to me in brief the gaps in my knowledge about Field’s appearance in The Shade—how and where Lawrence had found him and the other four young men. After that, none of us really knew what to say for a while. We just sat in the room and looked at each other.
“So you’ve basically lived your life alone, with your other four… brothers?” Even though they weren’t related—or at least, didn’t appear to be—‘brother’ seemed to be t
he right term to use.
“Yes,” he replied.
“Since you escaped the harpies and left the supernatural dimension, you’ve been in Canada… in that cave, all those years?”
“Yes,” he said again.
His tone was stiff. Considering that he had just discovered his long-lost family, I would’ve thought he’d look more emotional. But it seemed that he’d never really been in an environment to develop emotionally. Harpies had been the closest thing he’d had to parents.
I felt almost guilty. My life had been so easy, so carefree and happy, compared to his.
I felt the urge to understand him more. I wished to know him. But I found myself faltering, uncertain of even what questions to ask next. It felt like we were from two totally different worlds. I didn’t know how to relate to him. All the usual questions I would’ve asked a stranger—about hobbies, favorite subjects, and so on—didn’t seem to be applicable here. His life appeared to have been just one long, hard struggle, from his birth, up until now—all a fight for survival. But I knew there were deeper levels to him, just as there were to all of us. I supposed it would be a slow process, a matter of time and patience as he settled into our environment in The Shade.
All I could think to do now was hold his hands, pull him in and hug him again tightly. Then I kissed his cool, pale cheek.
“Do you know when your birthday is?” I asked, I wanted to know whether he was older or younger than me. He looked like he could be older, but that could simply be his mature demeanor.
He shook his head. “I don’t know—”
There came a knock at the door. My mother called, “Come in!” and in stepped Field’s four companions. They gave no explanation for their entrance. They simply entered and stood behind Field, looking around the room, before their eyes settled on my mother and me. I looked at them curiously, from their scruffy clothing to their long, untamed hair.
The fact that they felt no need to give an explanation for their interruption of what would look to most people like a private conversation made me realize that they simply weren’t used to being apart. It was normal for them to do everything together. Be everywhere together. And they didn’t expect anybody to think that was odd.