“It looked like you had murdered defenseless animals on a blank canvas.”
“Because I feel violent towards you sometimes. Like now, for instance.”
“Oh,” Gary said. “That makes more sense. I get it now. I wish I hadn’t thrown it—I mean, I’m glad I hung it up in my room for everyone to see whenever they like. Except for Sam. Because he’s not allowed in my room. For reasons. That have nothing to do with the painting.”
I frowned at him.
“And you must be Knight Commander,” Vadoma said to Ryan.
“I am,” Ryan said, posing slightly because he still couldn’t help himself. “I have pledged an oath to the King of Verania to protect the Crown at all—”
“Why you stand so close to my grandson?”
Ryan opened and closed his mouth a couple of times. He wasn’t used to anyone interrupting his ridiculously dashing and immaculate speech about his oath and fealty, even if most people in the room had heard it a hundred times. And I was fine with hearing it again, if I was being honest. First, because I was proud of him and how far he’d come. Second, because I had this weird kink where I found it to be ridiculously hot when he talked about loyalty to the Crown and would usually try to find the nearest available surface to pound him into.
“Why… what?” he eventually said.
“You stand on top of my grandson,” Vadoma said slowly, like she was speaking to an idiot. “Because….”
“Oh!” I said. “I can answer that one. Because he’s my boo.”
Ryan groaned.
“Don’t act like you don’t like it,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Everyone knows you do.”
“Literally everyone,” Justin said. “Because that’s all we had to hear about for months. Sam said this and Sam did that and isn’t Sam just the best thing to happen in the history of anything?” Justin made a face. “I honestly gave thought to having myself executed to escape hearing anything else.”
“You talk about me?” I asked Ryan.
Ryan flushed. “No,” he said, sounding petulant.
“Yes,” everyone else said. Including the knights along the walls.
“Wow,” I said in awe. “You think I’m incredible. Having validation is pretty much the best feeling ever.”
“I just like your face,” Ryan mumbled, shuffling his feet on the floor. “And stuff.”
“I am going to do so many things to you later,” I said. “Things I can’t talk about right now because my parents and my long-lost grandma are standing right near us and I want them to think I’m still a virgin.”
“We don’t think that,” Dad said. “Especially since you came to us the day after you lost it and announced it at breakfast.”
“He was so proud,” Mom said fondly. “Like that time he was nine and brought home a bug he’d found under a log.”
“Not quite the same thing,” Dad said, squeezing Mom tighter. “But we’ll count it as close enough.”
Ruv finally dropped his pose and leaned toward Vadoma, mouth near her ear. He spoke to her in a clipped foreign tongue that reminded me of my mother. Vadoma nodded along with whatever he was saying until she held up a hand, cutting him off.
“You are together?” she asked me, nodding over at Ryan.
“Yes,” Ryan said, taking my hand in his.
“In sin, even,” I said, waggling my eyebrows, because if there is one thing I apparently could not do, it was to not brag that I’d somehow snagged Ryan Foxheart.
“Sam,” Ryan chided gently, but I’m sure everyone in the room could see the smile quirking along his lips. I might have exasperated him and been more than frustrating, but for some reason, he loved me. And I would have done anything for him. We were kind of disgusting that way. “Maybe not tell that to your grandmother who you’re meeting for the first time.”
I sighed the sigh of the weary. “Whatever you say, babe.”
“And don’t call me that when I’m working.”
“Whatever you say, Knight Commander.”
He squeaked a little at that and started coughing, because he liked it as much as I did.
“Ugh,” Gary said, his nose wrinkling. “It’s like watching your mentally incapacitated great-aunt eating nothing but a jar of mayonnaise.”
“That’s…,” I said. “Huh. I don’t know quite how to take that.”
“Badly,” Gary said. “Preferably. Stop being so disgustingly precious in front of me. I’m going to vomit in the throne room, and no one wants to see that again.”
“It look like rainbows,” Tiggy said.
“Most things that come out of me look like rainbows,” Gary said.
“Seriously,” Kevin said. “By the time we finish our rigorous bouts of athletically tantric lovemaking, I look like the end result of a paint-by-numbers avant-garde tragedy done by a toddler.”
“And he says we’re gross,” I said, trying not to gag.
It was then that Vadoma addressed Morgan for the first time. But her tone had changed into something fiery, something angry. “And you allowed this, wizard?”
That irked me because I was standing right there. “Hey,” I snapped. “He doesn’t have to allow me to do—”
“Sam,” Morgan said, cutting me off. “That was not a question for you.”
“But she—”
“Sam.”
I knew that voice. That voice said I’d better shut my mouth before I was in trouble. I’d heard it more than I probably should have.
He waited just a beat more to make sure I’d heard him. Then he turned back to Vadoma. “He’s more than capable of making his own choices, Vadoma. If they lead to mistakes, I can only hope that he learns from them. The Knight Commander was his own choice in the end. And I believe there was never a mistake in that.”
She scoffed. “Foolish man. You know nothing. We had a deal.”
Wait. What. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I think I misheard you. You had a what now?”
“A deal,” Vadoma said. “Tell him, Wizard. Tell him how you know of him from the moment of birth. Tell him what the satarma called out the night he came to this world. You knew him as I did. And you agreed to be his mentor until the day I came for him.”
The room was ominously silent after that.
And it couldn’t be— “Morgan?”
He looked stricken. “It’s not as you’re thinking, Sam. Anything I have done, anything I agreed to was only to protect you. You are not bound by the promises of a foolish old man.”
That memory. That godsdamned memory.
Ah. I see. Your mamia was Vadoma, then.
Yes, my lord. You’ve heard of her?
Perhaps.
“You knew me,” I breathed. “That day in the alley. The first time. You knew who I was.”
“Yes,” Morgan of Shadows said. “I knew you.”
I couldn’t form my thoughts in a proper order. All I could think about were the times I’d felt Morgan was holding something back from me, was keeping his secrets held close to his heart. Wizarding is always about secrets, but hadn’t some part of me known that Morgan knew more than he had always said? I’d written it off as just him being Morgan. I’d trusted him when he said he’d tell me the things I needed to know when I needed to know them.
“What about him?” I snapped, jerking my head toward Ryan. “Did you know it was him too, then?”
Everyone looked confused. “Sam,” Morgan said slowly. “Ryan wasn’t in the alley that day. How could I have known him?”
I laughed bitterly. “Of course he was there. He was—” And I stopped myself because holy fuck was I an asshole. I closed my eyes. “Shit.”
Because Ryan Foxheart wasn’t always Ryan Foxheart.
Once upon a time, Ryan Foxheart had been a teenage douchebag named Nox with a penchant for kicking my ass whenever he could. There were only a handful of people in this world who knew Ryan had come from the slums, and I had effectively just outed him. It wasn’t as if he was ashamed of it, it was just that in the histor
y of the Veranian Knights, no one had ever risen to the position of Knight Commander after having come from the slums.
So imagine my surprise when, instead of being rightly furious with me, he squeezed my hand gently and said, “Sam.”
I opened my eyes, shame burning on my face. He didn’t look angry, just concerned. “I didn’t mean—” I managed to choke out.
But he was already shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, and he meant it. “We’re in this together, yeah?”
I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
“Then that’s how we’ll do it,” he said. He leaned forward and kissed my cheek, a lingering thing, warm and dry. When he pulled back, I could see the resolve in his eyes and knew immediately where this was going to go. “Together.”
“You don’t have to—” I tried.
“I was there,” he told Morgan. “The day in the alley. I was one of those turned to stone. I’m from the slums. Like Sam. Ryan Foxheart is a name I adopted for myself. My real name is Nox.”
“Well fuck me silly,” Gary said. “Did anybody else’s nipples just get hard?”
“Mine did,” Kevin said. “Wait. Do I even have nipples?”
“Nox?” Tiggy said. “Mean guy who hurt Sam?”
“Easy there, big guy,” I said. “It was a long time ago.”
Tiggy didn’t look very appeased at that. And so maybe Ryan took a step closer to me, like I would protect him if Tiggy decided he needed to be smashed.
“Nox?” Dad said. “That little shithead whose ass I was going to kick but Rose said I couldn’t because a grown man beating a child is never all right, even if said child is an asshole?”
“I think I did say most of that,” Mom said, sounding equally shocked. “But for the life of me, I can’t say why I would have stopped him now. Good thing he’s not a child anymore.”
Morgan sighed. “The two of you….” He shook his head. “The gods must really have a sense of humor.”
“It’s like a godsdamned romance novel,” Justin said. “Because of course that’s how Sam’s life works out.”
“I’ll lay down my sword,” Ryan said to the King. “I haven’t acted as a Knight of Verania should. I lied to get to where I am. And for that, I am not worthy of the title Knight Commander. Or even a knight at all. I will accept any punishment you see fit to bestow upon me.”
The King rolled his eyes. “You’ve got that martyr thing down, haven’t you? Do you really think I would’ve promoted you to the Castle Guard if I hadn’t known everything I could about you?”
Ryan looked shocked. “You knew?”
“I didn’t tell him a damn thing,” Justin said. “If that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Of course I did,” the King said. “I am pretty good at what I do, in case you haven’t noticed. Request to resign denied. You will stay in the position you’re in and you will like it until I say otherwise.”
Ryan bowed again. “Yes, my King.”
“Just don’t be a douchebag to Sam anymore.”
“Yes, my King.”
“And this isn’t something you felt you should have made known to me?” Morgan asked. “I could have vetted him further had you but asked.”
“Really?” I asked. “You’re gonna lecture him on secrets? You, of all people. Right now.”
“Oh snap,” Tiggy said.
Morgan flinched. Barely, but it was still there. “I didn’t know it was him, Sam. Not with you then. Though I suppose it does make a bit of sense. And whatever machinations you think me capable of, I assure you you’re wrong. Every decision I have made regarding you has been in your best interest.”
“Would you have told me?” I asked bitterly. “If your hand hadn’t been forced?”
“I had hoped I wouldn’t have to. It was my wish that you live your life free of the chains of destiny. If I had any say in it, you would be safely tucked away where nothing could ever touch you.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “All I ever wanted for you was for your happiness. It’s what a mentor does. We teach you all that we can in hopes that it will be enough.”
I understood what he was saying. But it wasn’t enough. “Did you know?” I asked the King.
“No, Sam,” he said softly. “I didn’t. But even if I had, I would have trusted Morgan to know what he was doing. He has been around far longer than you or I. And he has always loved you as if you were his own. If he kept things away from you, it was because he thought he was doing the right thing.”
“I don’t know about that,” Vadoma said. “Because it seems as if he has gone against what we discussed. Dilo. Never trust a wizard to do a woman’s job. For all you know, he was trying to keep you to himself.”
Morgan’s eyes flashed. “Now see here, lady of the desert. You think yourself immune as a visiting dignitary. I assure you that’s not the case.”
She chuckled dryly. “Bakla. Liar. You have withheld long-hidden truths from the chava. You think he’ll trust you now?”
“Regardless of what he did or didn’t do,” I said, “the fact remains I know him. I don’t know you. Why should I trust anything you say?”
“Blood,” she said.
I snorted. “Lady, look around you. The majority of the people here aren’t related to me, but this is still my family. And I don’t care just how thick the blood may be. If I think you’re going to touch one hair on their heads, I will do everything I can to stop you. And as it turns out, I can do quite a lot.”
Her eyes narrowed. “The knight. Do you care for him?”
“Yes.” More than she could ever know.
“Do you treasure him?”
“Yes.”
“Would you lay down your life for him?”
“Yes.”
“Would you let him go if it was for the greater good?”
“Yes” was out before I could stop it. And even though it burned, I meant it. There was nothing that I wouldn’t do for Ryan Foxheart.
“Good,” she said, and a chill arced down my spine, because the look on her face was akin to victory. “Because you are being called upon for something greater than yourself. I have seen what you carry inside of you, Sam of Wilds. The lightning-struck heart that beats within your chest. I have known about you long before you were even a thought. I knew the day you were born, though my daughter was far from me by her own choice. I’ve seen what it is you’ll become without the guidance I offer. There is a darkness rising in the corners of Verania, and it calls for you. You must not answer, no matter what it says.” She clapped her hands once. It was a sharp crack that echoed in the throne room. “Ruv.”
The Wolf of Bari Lavuta stepped forward and bowed again, eyes on me.
“I bring to you my Wolf,” Vadoma Tshilaba said. “For he is the one thing the Knight Commander cannot be for you. Which is why, though difficult it may be, you must let Ryan Foxheart go. And you must do it now while we still have time.”
“Really?” Ryan said, taking a step forward, shoulders tensed, angrier than I’d seen him in a long time. “And why should he do anything you say?”
“Because, chava,” my grandmother said, not unkindly. “The Wolf is Sam’s cornerstone.”
“Ohhhhh dayyyum,” Gary hissed. “To find out what happens after this stunning revelation, tune in next week on… Castle Lockes. Annnnnd… we’re clear. Okay, what the fuck did that bitch just say?”
I didn’t really remember much after that.
Chapter 6: Shit Just Got Real
WHEN I was twelve years old, Morgan of Shadows told me the most remarkable thing. Up until that point, I had been starry-eyed by the idea that I could do magic, that a man who seemed more myth than anything else could have come for me, that he saw something in me. I was just a boy from the slums with no prospects. I could read, sure, and I could write, even though it resembled chicken scratch. I was smart (probably too smart for my own good, according to my parents), but I wasn’t much more than that. I would either work in the mills like my father or at
the flower stand like my mother, and no matter the number of stars I wished upon, nothing would change my destiny. Some people, I knew, were meant for greater things. I wasn’t one of them.
Until I was.
And in that first year, I didn’t think I blinked even once, too busy staring at anything and everything I could. There was the castle, of course, and the King who knew my name. There were the Castle Guards, gruff men who would lay their life down for the Crown. There were the kitchens, with the cooks who made meals from sunup to sundown, covered in flour and flickering shadows from the fires in the ovens.
There were classes too, so many classes that I had to go to that sometimes, at my laziest, made me wish that I’d never stood in the alley and shouted Flora Bora Slam. There was proper etiquette I had to learn that didn’t involve magic: how to bow in front of the King (“But he doesn’t care! He winks at me and wriggles his mustache!”), which fork to use for which course at dinner (“They’re all forks! Why does it matter how many prongs this one has? It’ll still put food in my mouth!”), how to waltz (“Dancing? Send me back to the slums. I don’t even care!”). I was measured for new clothes, my hair was cut, and fingernails were hardly ever dirty. Morgan knew it could be overwhelming, and there were days I didn’t have to worry about any of it, days we’d spend holed up in the labs and I could watch him conjure spells with a wave of his hand, learning ancient words like fie and twe and ain that would cause the hairs on my arms to stand on end.
It was one of these times that he said he had something very important to discuss with me. I sat on the counter in front of him, my legs dangling. He didn’t like when I sat there but never made me move once I had already jumped up.
I nodded solemnly and stared at him with wide eyes. “Is it how to blow something up in a fiery explosion with nothing but the power of my mind?”
He frowned. “What? No, of course not.”
“Oh,” I said. “That’s… disappointing. I really thought today was going to be the day when you would teach me Fiery Mind Explosion of Doom.”
Morgan sighed, a sound I was getting quickly used to. “You capitalized that in your head, didn’t you?”