VIII.
As soon as she was left alone, Agnes set to work tidying and dustingthe cottage, made up the fire, watered the bed, and cleaned the insideof the windows: the wise woman herself always kept the outside of themclean. When she had done, she found her dinner--of the same sort shewas used to at home, but better--in the hole of the wall. When she hadeaten it, she went to look at the pictures.
By this time her old disposition had begun to rouse again. She had beendoing her duty, and had in consequence begun again to think herselfSomebody. However strange it may well seem, to do one's duty will makeany one conceited who only does it sometimes. Those who do it alwayswould as soon think of being conceited of eating their dinner as ofdoing their duty. What honest boy would pride himself on not pickingpockets? A thief who was trying to reform would. To be conceited ofdoing one's duty is then a sign of how little one does it, and howlittle one sees what a contemptible thing it is not to do it. Could anybut a low creature be conceited of not being contemptible? Until ourduty becomes to us common as breathing, we are poor creatures.
So Agnes began to stroke herself once more, forgetting her lateself-stroking companion, and never reflecting that she was now doingwhat she had then abhorred. And in this mood she went into thepicture-gallery.
The first picture she saw represented a square in a great city, oneside of which was occupied by a splendid marble palace, with greatflights of broad steps leading up to the door. Between it and thesquare was a marble-paved court, with gates of brass, at which stoodsentries in gorgeous uniforms, and to which was affixed the followingproclamation in letters of gold, large enough for Agnes to read:--
"By the will of the King, from this time until further notice, everystray child found in the realm shall be brought without a moment'sdelay to the palace. Whoever shall be found having done otherwise shallstraightway lose his head by the hand of the public executioner."
Agnes's heart beat loud, and her face flushed.
"Can there be such a city in the world?" she said to herself. "If Ionly knew where it was, I should set out for it at once. THERE would bethe place for a clever girl like me!"
Her eyes fell on the picture which had so enticed Rosamond. It was thevery country where her father fed his flocks. Just round the shoulderof the hill was the cottage where her parents lived, where she was bornand whence she had been carried by the beggar-woman.
"Ah!" she said, "they didn't know me there. They little thought what Icould be, if I had the chance. If I were but in this good, kind,loving, generous king's palace, I should soon be such a great lady asthey never saw! Then they would understand what a good little girl Ihad always been! And I shouldn't forget my poor parents like some Ihave read of. _I_ would be generous. _I_ should never be selfish andproud like girls in story-books!"
As she said this, she turned her back with disdain upon the picture ofher home, and setting herself before the picture of the palace, staredat it with wide ambitious eyes, and a heart whose every beat was athrob of arrogant self-esteem.
The shepherd-child was now worse than ever the poor princess had been.For the wise woman had given her a terrible lesson one of which theprincess was not capable, and she had known what it meant; yet here shewas as bad as ever, therefore worse than before. The ugly creaturewhose presence had made her so miserable had indeed crept out of sightand mind too--but where was she? Nestling in her very heart, where mostof all she had her company, and least of all could see her. The wisewoman had called her out, that Agnes might see what sort of creatureshe was herself; but now she was snug in her soul's bed again, and shedid not even suspect she was there.
After gazing a while at the palace picture, during which her ambitiouspride rose and rose, she turned yet again in condescending mood, andhonored the home picture with one stare more.
"What a poor, miserable spot it is compared with this lordly palace!"she said.
But presently she spied something in it she had not seen before, anddrew nearer. It was the form of a little girl, building a bridge ofstones over one of the hill-brooks.
"Ah, there I am myself!" she said. "That is just how I used todo.--No," she resumed, "it is not me. That snub-nosed little frightcould never be meant for me! It was the frock that made me think so.But it IS a picture of the place. I declare, I can see the smoke of thecottage rising from behind the hill! What a dull, dirty, insignificantspot it is! And what a life to lead there!"
She turned once more to the city picture. And now a strange thing tookplace. In proportion as the other, to the eyes of her mind, recededinto the background, this, to her present bodily eyes, appeared to comeforward and assume reality. At last, after it had been in this waygrowing upon her for some time, she gave a cry of conviction, and saidaloud,--
"I do believe it is real! That frame is only a trick of the woman tomake me fancy it a picture lest I should go and make my fortune. She isa witch, the ugly old creature! It would serve her right to tell theking and have her punished for not taking me to the palace--one of hispoor lost children he is so fond of! I should like to see her ugly oldhead cut off. Anyhow I will try my luck without asking her leave. Howshe has ill used me!"
But at that moment, she heard the voice of the wise woman calling,"Agnes!" and, smoothing her face, she tried to look as good as shecould, and walked back into the cottage. There stood the wise woman,looking all round the place, and examining her work. She fixed her eyesupon Agnes in a way that confused her, and made her cast hers down, forshe felt as if she were reading her thoughts. The wise woman, however,asked no questions, but began to talk about her work, approving of someof it, which filled her with arrogance, and showing how some of itmight have been done better, which filled her with resentment. But thewise woman seemed to take no care of what she might be thinking, andwent straight on with her lesson. By the time it was over, the power ofreading thoughts would not have been necessary to a knowledge of whatwas in the mind of Agnes, for it had all come to the surface--that isup into her face, which is the surface of the mind. Ere it had time tosink down again, the wise woman caught up the little mirror, and heldit before her: Agnes saw her Somebody--the very embodiment of miserableconceit and ugly ill-temper. She gave such a scream of horror that thewise woman pitied her, and laying aside the mirror, took her upon herknees, and talked to her most kindly and solemnly; in particular aboutthe necessity of destroying the ugly things that come out of theheart--so ugly that they make the very face over them ugly also.
And what was Agnes doing all the time the wise woman was talking toher? Would you believe it?--instead of thinking how to kill the uglythings in her heart, she was with all her might resolving to be morecareful of her face, that is, to keep down the things in her heart sothat they should not show in her face, she was resolving to be ahypocrite as well as a self-worshipper. Her heart was wormy, and theworms were eating very fast at it now.
Then the wise woman laid her gently down upon the heather-bed, and shefell fast asleep, and had an awful dream about her Somebody.
When she woke in the morning, instead of getting up to do the work ofthe house, she lay thinking--to evil purpose. In place of taking herdream as a warning, and thinking over what the wise woman had said thenight before, she communed with herself in this fashion:--
"If I stay here longer, I shall be miserable, It is nothing better thanslavery. The old witch shows me horrible things in the day to set medreaming horrible things in the night. If I don't run away, thatfrightful blue prison and the disgusting girl will come back, and Ishall go out of my mind. How I do wish I could find the way to the goodking's palace! I shall go and look at the picture again--if it be apicture--as soon as I've got my clothes on. The work can wait. It's notmy work. It's the old witch's; and she ought to do it herself."
She jumped out of bed, and hurried on her clothes. There was no wisewoman to be seen; and she hastened into the hall. There was thepicture, with the marble palace, and the proclamation shining inletters of gold upon its gates of brass. She stood before it, and gaz
edand gazed; and all the time it kept growing upon her in some strangeway, until at last she was fully persuaded that it was no picture, buta real city, square, and marble palace, seen through a framed openingin the wall. She ran up to the frame, stepped over it, felt the windblow upon her cheek, heard the sound of a closing door behind her, andwas free. FREE was she, with that creature inside her?
The same moment a terrible storm of thunder and lightning, wind andrain, came on. The uproar was appalling. Agnes threw herself upon theground, hid her face in her hands, and there lay until it was over. Assoon as she felt the sun shining on her, she rose. There was the cityfar away on the horizon. Without once turning to take a farewell lookof the place she was leaving, she set off, as fast as her feet wouldcarry her, in the direction of the city. So eager was she, that againand again she fell, but only to get up, and run on faster than before.