argument #2: rape culture does not exist
Before really getting into this one, let me share with you, for frivolity, my observations of online antifeminists. I will not make any assumptions about class or sexual orientation. Most antifeminists I’ve come across have been white women* (many of them cisgender) from first world countries with conservative views, especially concerning abstinence and abortion. That being said about antifeminists, they tend to be quite privileged.
Now then. This argument is a simple misunderstanding of the term “rape culture.” Antifeminists will say it isn’t “rape culture” if no rape occurs. But rape is rarely about being uncontrollably horny as much as it is about power. Women* have been portrayed by many cultures as the weaker sex for most of human existence, so it’s natural that women* are the primary targets of sexual violence by power-obsessed misogynists.
Now that we know that rape isn’t inherently about sex, but about power, we might have a better understanding of the term “rape culture.” Let’s simplify it even further—rape is an exertion of power over the “weak”: women*. Now let’s rename rape culture: “Power over women* culture.” Is it making more sense yet?
Rape culture issues include the idolization of virgininity and purity, shaming women* for having sex as often as they choose, and shaming women* for dressing how they choose. By shaming those women* for making choices for themselves, rape culture is enforced. Shaming women* for their personal choices is nothing but an attempt to control them.
argument #3: feminism demonizes men and isn’t about equality, it’s about women* being more powerful
Let’s learn a little about prejudice versus sexism. There is no such thing as “reverse sexism” just as, for example, there is no such thing as “reverse racism.” You cannot be “racist” against a white person. This is because white people hold the power in our society. Calling a white person a cracker won’t actually hurt them or white people as a group; it will do little more than annoy them. Using a racial slur against a black person reinforces centuries of institutionalized racism.
The same goes for men and women*. Men have historically held the power in our society; therefore you cannot be truly sexist again a man. All the online feminist jokes (drinking male tears, etc) are nothing but a response to the systemic oppression women* have experienced over the years. Men still rape more women* than women* rape men. Men still make up the majority of the government. Men still have the majority of the power. Maybe the male tears jokes hurt their feelings, but that’s about as far as it’ll go.
Another problem I see with antifeminists is internalized misogyny. This is exactly what it sounds like: a hatred of women, by women, as a result of patriarchal indoctrination. Antifeminists often sex shame women with shocking vitriol. They are notorious victim blamers (victim blaming is blaming a sexual harassment or abuse survivor for their assault because of their choice of dress, intoxication, etc). Many insist on denying women* reproductive (abortion) rights. I can’t help but see this hatred of women* by women* as disturbingly unnatural.
As a result of this conditioning, antifeminists want to make feminism into something more palatable for men. Men are prone to disliking feminists for obvious reasons, labeling them as bitches, feminazis, etc; antifeminists no doubt notice this and strive to win the approval of men through their counterproductive movement.
I, as well as many women*, care deeply about a lot of men in my life. I in no way want to “rise above them” or “have power over them.” If anything, their presence in my life has motivated me positively in my quest for social justice. I see their lives, I see their experiences, and I dream that all women* will someday have the same, but I do not resent them personally for their privilege.
argument #4: feminists aren’t fighting real oppression
This is almost the same idea as argument #2, but here we’ll turn away from rape culture as it is experienced directly and turn our focus to sexism in the media.
The word “problematic” is used to describe something, sometimes in the media, that discriminates against a certain group. For an example, let’s use Katy Perry’s controversial geisha performance at the 2013 American Music Awards. This performance was incredibly problematic; it made a spectacle of an important part of Japanese culture. It wasn’t like people didn’t like the performance, weren’t impressed by it, didn’t like the music, etc. It actually reinforced and normalized racism and cultural appropriation.
Problematic songs, celebrities, movies, TV shows, etc aren’t oppression in the sense that an individual or individuals are being directly harmed. Instead, problematic media is sinister in that it reaches impressionable viewers who think it is okay to imitate and incorporate what they see into the way they act. That is how “real” oppression (according to antifeminists) begins and starts spreading like wildfire.
key terms
cisgender (adj) – describes a person whose gender identity and biological sex align
classism (n) – prejudice and/or discrimination based on social class
cultural appropriation (n) – a privileged group/individual taking a part of a culture that is not theirs and being able to use it without experiencing discrimination for it; for example, a white person wearing a bindi
intersectional (adj) – including marginalized groups
privilege (n) – “perks” that come with being part of certain groups that are upheld by society; for example, being white and heterosexual
Thank you to my mother, the internet, and women* everywhere for inspiring this essay.
I hope my opinion has helped shape yours, whether you choose to identify as a feminist or antifeminist.
Feel free to contact me at
[email protected].
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