A Gnomish Invention
by
James Bailey
* * * * *
PUBLISHED BY:
A Gnomish Invention
Copyright 2011 by James Bailey
[email protected] *****
“What am I looking at again?” Durban asked with a sigh, staring at the new contraption his friend Foggle, a gnome, had erected. Durban was sitting on an empty keg at the rear of the storeroom in his Inn, staring at a complicated array of tubes and valves connected to a strange machine with a number of levers on the front. Foggle stood in front of the contraption looking over everything to make sure it was ready for the next test.
“It is a new machine that I believe can radically improve sales for your beverages Durban. I have called it the Fantastic Water Solidification Cubification Machine and I think it is just about ready for its first test outside of my workshop.” Foggle said, turning round with a large beaming grin on his face.
Durban looked at the machine with scepticism briefly before trying to feign enthusiasm. “Right. Just remember you break anything in here and you buy it Foggle. The only reason I am letting you set this thing up here is because you blew those trolls to dust the other month.”
“Oh I have to show you some of the improvements I have made to the cannon soon!” Foggle said, ignoring much of what Durban had said.
Durban sighed, wondering what the damage bill would be this time.
Durban and the rest of the dwarves in town owed the gnomes their lives after a recent attack and were trying to make them and their village feel a bit more like part of the town of Stolten rather than a separate community. Foggle had offered to help improve Durban's sales of beer if he gave him some space to build his contraption and promote his machine. Durban reluctantly agreed even though he knew just how dangerous it may prove to be.
“Here we go!” Foggle said, yanking down on a large bright red lever in the middle of the contraption.
Durban stared with wide eyes, bracing himself for disaster, as the whole machine machine began to shake and rattle. Steam emanated from a chimney poking out of the side of the machine while loud clunking noises sounded from the centre of the contraption.
After a long thirty seconds the machine ground to a halt and Foggle held his hand out in front of a small dispenser near the red lever. A couple of seconds later a small but perfectly square ice cube plopped out into his hand.
“Success!” Foggle shouted and ran up to Durban holding the ice cube in his hand. “Look Durban I can harness the power of machinery to freeze water out of air!”
Durban nodded slowly staring at the ice cube in surprise. “So you spent two weeks building this huge damn machine, got the blacksmith working for two days on your pipes and tubes, just to make an ice cube?”
“Yes! A small price to pay don’t you agree?” Foggle asked excitedly, bouncing from one foot to the other. “This is the first time it has worked without either exploding or freezing everyone and everything nearby solid. Took my wife hours to chisel me out last time.”
Durban rose quietly from the keg and walked over to the back door outside. With a flourish Durban opened the door and was almost knocked backwards by the force of the blizzard outside. A freezing cold began to pour into the room and snow billowed in until Durban gathered the strength to squeeze the door shut again.
“Now tell me something Foggle. Why would I need a damn machine to make ice cubes when its cold enough outside that if you left a mug of ale out there it would be a damn block of ice in five damned minutes!” Durban said his voice raising as he spoke.
“Oh.” Foggle said, at a rare loss of words for a few seconds. “Well you have to think big picture Durban, it will be warmer in a few months and then people will flock here to buy your cold beverages won’t they?” Foggle said with a smile.
Durban grunted. “If this machine hasn’t blown up in a few months it will be a miracle.”
Before Foggle could reply a crash sounded from the front of the Inn. The two quickly ran out of the storeroom door and into the front bar. The Inn was still closed, not normally opening till midday so no one should have been barging in at this hour.
Durban and Foggle stared in shock at the body on the ground, snow slowly covering him as it blew in from the now open front door. To Durban's surprise 'him' was an elf and he was currently lying on the floor two steps from the door, he looked like he had knocked a table on the way down which had caused the noise. The elf’s pointy ears poked out from his long blonde hair and Durban could see a short bow he must have carried with him near the body.
Quickly Durban ran over and shut the door then bent down next to him to see if he was still conscious.
“Oi.” Durban said, poking the elf in the side. “Wake up elf. Oi”
The elf didn’t respond.
“Perhaps that isn’t the best way to wake him up.” Foggle said in a moment of rare wisdom. Moving over next to Durban he pulled the elf over so he was face up, Foggle and Durban both gasped in surprise when they realised the elf man was actually an elf woman.
Durban had never seen anything so beautiful in his life, the elf woman's face appeared like it was made of porcelain but looked soft at the same time. Shaking himself out of his stupor he moved close and held a hand in front of the woman’s mouth, happy to feel breath coming in and out, albeit slowly.
“She’s alive. Must have knocked herself clean out when she fell over. I’ll fetch me smelling salts,” Durban said, walking behind his bar and reaching into a small shelf underneath. He kept a couple of bottles of smelling salts for when some of his patrons had one or three too many and needed a little encouragement to wake up and go home.
Returning to the elf woman, Durban knelt down and held the salts under her nose. The elf woman’s eyes grew wide and she sat up suddenly and instantly groaned in pain and almost fainted again.
“Easy elf, you fell down” Durban said holding out a hand to support her back. “Foggle grab something to support her.”
Foggle quickly trotted off behind the bar and came back hefting an almost empty keg of beer that Durban was surprised he could carry. Foggle gently put it down behind the elf’s back and she rested against it gently.
“Thank you,” the elf said softly, eyes still a little glazed.
“Stay awake girl. Best to keep your eyes open after a nasty knock to the head.” Durban said as her eyes began to flutter shut.
“Oh sorry. I don’t really know what is going on. Where am I?” She asked.
“You’re in my Inn in Stolten. A very long way from elf lands. What are you doing here?” Durban asked.
“Dwarf lands? You’re a dwarf? I have never seen one...” She said with a wan smile.
Durban snorted. “Same goes for you, certainly didn’t expect to see an elf wander into my bar. Now what are you doing here? Dressed like that especially.” Durban asked referring to the dark green garb she was wearing, more suitable for the forest than the snowy mountains around Stolten.
“There was a man. Came through our forest, killed one of our kind. We tracked him to the mountains. I got separated from my two companions in the blizzard.” The elf said, slurring her words as she began to fall back to sleep.
Durban slapped her round the face gently but she still began to close her eyes. “Stay awake girl! Foggle grab some of the dwarf spirits from underneath and pour some in a mug.”
Foggle rose uncertainly from Durban’s side. “Are you sure?”
“Just do it gnome! If anything is going to wake her right up that will.”
Foggle quickly nipped behind the bar and poured the drink then rushed back.
Durban slowly tilted the mug into the elf’s mouth. “There you go drink this,” he said softly. The
elf slowly opened her lips and swallowed a whole mouthful of the liquid.
Within a matter of seconds her eyes flung wide open, tears pouring down her face while she was gasping for air. “My gods! What was that!” She spluttered, wide awake.
“Dwarf spirits,” Durban said with a chuckle. “Knew that would wake you. Now you said something about some murderer coming into the mountains and that you had some friends with you. Where are your friends?”
“Oh no! They must still be out there! I must find them.” The elf woman said, struggling to get up.
Durban put his hand on her chest and pushed her back down. “Sit your arse down girl, you ain’t going anywhere in your condition. You are still half frozen and you had a nasty fall. Tell me how many there are and where you saw them last and Foggle here and I can organise a rescue party. My name is Durban by the way.” Durban said reassuringly.
"Well met little friends, my name is Liliana. My companions and I were near a large oak tree, it was all on its own on the path and looked very old. My friends tried to shelter there while I scouted ahead to find help. We knew there was a dwarven settlement around here somewhere." The elf woman said.
"Well you found it girl. I think I know the tree you mean, it is only a half hour walk from here." Durban thought for a second. "Maybe an hour in this weather, Foggle head out and grab the mayor."
"What? Why me?" Foggle asked with indignation.
"Because it is so important Foggle that I trust you to get to the Mayor better than myself." Durban said innocently.
"Oh. Well. That's understandable then." Foggle said puffing out his chest. "Don't worry elf maiden help is on the way."
Durban chuckled to himself as Foggle marched out into the blizzard. The elf maiden smiled up at him wanly.
"Nice trick." She said softly.
Durban grinned. "If you know anything about gnomes you know he gives me enough trouble to deserve it."
The elf woman smiled faintly.
Durban patted her on the shoulder. “Don’t worry lass it is going to be fine. I’ll go grab you a blanket.” Durban rose and walked to his room at the back of the Inn and pulled a spare blanket from under his bed. Returning to the elf woman he saw her slowly drifting off to sleep yet again.
“Oi! Stay awake!” Durban shouted as he covered her up.
“I am sorry, so hard to stay awake.” She said.
“Cold does that to you, slows you down. That’s the killer, you sit down and take a rest, fall asleep. A few weeks later someone finds you frozen solid in the same position.” Durban said with a grunt.
. The elf woman’s eyes widened as he said this, thinking of her companions.
Durban quickly recognised his error. “I am sure that your mob will be fine though, we’ll get some of our boys out there in no time.”
The front door opened suddenly with a crash, the wind blowing it inwards viciously. Foggle, the Mayor and Rognar, a dwarf merchant and friend of both Durban and Foggle, strode in with snow covering their clothing. Rognar slammed the door shut behind him shutting out the freezing wind.
“An elf!” The Mayor exclaimed in surprise when he saw the elf woman lying on the floor.
“Very observant, Foggle fill you in on the problem?” Durban asked.
“Yes, well kind of, he didn’t mention elves. Something about a lost party in the blizzard.” The Mayor said. Durban noticed Rognar trying to sidle past the Mayor so he could head towards the bar. Foggle stood and stared at the elf woman, still in shock at the strange creature.
“Yes. This young lady lost her group and found us on her own. There are still two of her companions in the storm. I think I know where they are from what she has said. There’s more though Mayor. There’s a murderer loose in the mountains.” Durban said.
“What? Murderer?” The Mayor said in surprise.
“Did you forget to let him in on that fact Foggle?” Durban asked flatly.
“Oh. Well. It’s been a busy morning!” Foggle said as an excuse.
Durban grunted. “Yes Mayor that’s what brings these tree folk here, they are chasing some murderer. A human apparently, killed one of their own in the forest up North.” Durban said.
“But that’s miles away!” Rognar cut in from the back.
“Justice must be served.” Liliana replied, speaking for the first time. “It is nice to meet you Mayor. I apologise I haven’t gotten up but I am still recovering from the cold. Durban has been good enough to help me. Please I beg of you, find my companions. We will not impose on you, all we ask is some shelter till the storm ends and then we will resume our hunt.” Liliana sat up as she spoke but was clearly still weakened from the cold.
“Easy girl, lay back.” Durban said with concern before turning to the Mayor. “Well Mayor, who can we get to find her two friends.”
“Hmm, well I have already sent someone to grab Hank and his two apprentices but I think it best to send them after the murderer. He should find him easier than the elves.” Hank was the most successful hunter and trapper for the village of Stolten and knew the terrain like the back of his hand.
Durban rubbed his chin. “Yeah I guess that makes sense, who you going to send to collect her friends?”
The Mayor looked at Durban with a grin then glanced at Rognar who had made it behind the bar. “Well I was thinking you and Rognar would be good choices.”
“What?! Have you seen the blasted weather out there Mayor?” Rognar shouted. Durban just frowned and nodded his head.
“With your gut Rognar you have enough insulation to survive a week out there.” Durban said, “This lass needs our help so we are going to give it to her.”
The Mayor nodded at Durban in thanks. “Good, that’s settled then. I’ll wait here with the young lady until you return. I...”
Foggle interrupted. “Excuse me, I think I should go along with them to keep them safe Mr Mayor.”
The Mayor glanced at the gnome, trying to hold back a smile. “If you say so Foggle, as you know your help is always greatly appreciated.”
Foggle beamed at the Mayor. “I will quickly head home and grab some supplies and meet you on the road Durban.” Foggle said before darting out the door at a run.
The Mayor grinned at Durban and Rognar as their expressions turned crestfallen.
“Good luck!”