Several hours later, I lay on my bed, massaging my temples while nursing a headache. I was too broke to afford a coke and a smile. My laptop lay beside me and the job ads were open on the screen. There were plenty of jobs that would provide the amount of money needed to stay afloat. The only problem is none of them were animal hospitals. Working at the gas station would not earn me the hours needed to secure the full-time zoo position.
Seven years suddenly felt like a total waste. I had enough money to manage my expenses for at least two months without having a second job. After that…
I didn’t want to think that far ahead for fear my brain matter would melt down to mere sludge.
Two months. That meant if I didn’t find another job soon, by the time Brian came back, I would be getting ready to quit school. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful welcome home present?
Brian would get off the tour bus, ready to welcome me in his arms. He would still be handsome but his clothes would smell like beer, smoke, and God knows what else happened on the bus. Wait a minute; he’d better not get off the bus smelling like another woman…
I sighed.
If there was one thing I learned during our time together it was this: Brian was a man of his word. If he promised monogamy, he’d do it. If he wanted more or someone else, he wouldn’t waste either of our time. He’d come right out and say it.
Did I think he’d cheat on me while he was away? He was a man, and all men have needs. Somehow, deep in my heart, I didn’t think he would. What else could I do but trust? If I wasted time suspecting or questioning him, the only thing I’d do was push him down that path. If he did stray, then somehow the truth would come out. It always did.
Damn, one week until he left for three months. At least he wouldn’t be around to watch me go into scramble mode. It would not be pretty. What he didn’t know wouldn’t affect his ability to play. The last thing I wanted to be was a distraction in any way.
I supported his decision to go on the road, knowing how much it would boost his career. Now, I needed to focus on mine.
My headache subsided enough to sit up and turn on the light in my darkened room. It was nearly dusk, and Brian hadn’t texted me yet. Another sign of a long day for him. Maybe if I focused on pleasing him for the next week, it would take away some of my own stress and help me see things from a different prospective. Then I may be able to navigate my way through this financial mess.
I forced myself off the bed and walked to the closet. Brian would be leaving on Sunday morning. His band planned a big farewell party at the club where they performed Saturday night. Brian was ecstatic when he showed me one of the flyers. The turnout promised to be bigger than any of their regular shows. They had a large following. The band had already found a replacement bass player, someone Brian recommended. On his last night at the club, he would play a few songs for old time’s sake before officially handing over his spot on stage to the new guy.
After that, the rest of the night belonged to us.
My original plan had been to buy a slinky dress that would keep his eyes on me all night long. His eyes never wandered when we were together, but still.
That was before I lost my part-time job. Now…
I pushed through the clothes hangers until I reached the last one hiding in the back. What do you know? The infamous dress I swore never to wear again.