CHAPTER XVII--A BARMECIDE FEAST
Granger laughed when Kenneth related the incidents of the pasttwenty-four hours.
"You are uncommonly lucky young daredevils," he said. "To the best ofmy knowledge Proteus, for all his quick changes, had only one life; youseem to have several apiece. The only pity is that you couldn't enjoythe triumph that would have attended your marching of the prisoners intocamp."
"Yes, I should have liked that," said Kenneth. "But what are you doinghere? What is your game? Your disguise is perfect, upon my word!"
"I will tell you--in confidence," he replied with a sly look. "Frominformation received I arrived here yesterday afternoon. As you see,the amiable Teutons have left their mark on the house. My informant hadled me to expect that it would be visited by certain German gentlemen.Sure enough, late last night an armoured car honked at the door, andwhen I lifted the bar with my fumbling fingers, there entered an officerand a civilian. A sergeant and three privates remained outside untilthe major ordered them in to search the house. The civilian was clearlya man of some importance, judging by the deference--somewhat strangeamong Germans--paid to him by the soldier occupants of the car. He wentby the name of Brinckmann, but as an ornament of society in Cologne, andoccasionally I believe in London also, he was known as Kurt Hellwig."
"By George!" exclaimed Kenneth.
"I thought I should interest you."
"The cur!"
"Hush, my dear fellow! Hellwig enjoys imperial favour. He boasted of aparticularly cordial interview with the War Lord, who appears to take aclose personal interest in underground operations. Well, the major andHellwig dined together--if the scratch meal that my trembling handsprepared for them could be called a dinner. They had to be content withinferior wine: thirsty compatriots of theirs had consumed the best. Iwaited at table: in our--profession, we play many parts. They wereexpecting a visit from a high-placed officer this morning; that was theitem in my original information that led me to impersonate the agedservitor, sans teeth, sans eyes--you know the quotation. As a Belgianpeasant, speaking French only villainously, I could not be expected tounderstand the language of these lords of the world. They conversedquite freely, and confirmed my informant in every particular. I hoped tohear more this morning, but unluckily Fate has robbed me of theopportunity. A despatch rider came up a little while ago on one ofthose noisy mechanical monstrosities that have ousted the thoroughbredof former days."
"Oh, come now! The motor cycle is much more useful than the horse,"Kenneth interrupted.
"Especially when a tyre bursts, a nut falls off, or the gearing goeswrong! However, it appeared that the appointment was cancelled. Thehigh officer would not come here, but summoned my gentlemen to meet himat Marche, some fifteen miles west."
"They have advanced as far as that, then?" said Pariset ruefully.
"They are on the way to Paris, my dear sir," said Granger. "They have,I understand, given rendezvous there for the 26th of this month. Theirconfidence is, perhaps, a little ahead of their capacity. But yourunexpected arrival--we cannot know everything!--is very welcome. I seemto see that by this happy chance my time may not be wholly wasted. Youwill make very good Uhlans when I have touched you up a little."
"What do you mean?" asked Kenneth.
"Hellwig said, on leaving, that he and his friends would return aboutmidday. In his pleasant way he threatened to burn the house over myhead if I did not prepare a better dejeuner than the dinner he sufferedlast night. Imagine my agitation! What a calamity! How should I meetmy master when he returns? My hands shook so violently that I began tobe afraid of overdoing my part! ... But now, gentlemen, for HerrHellwig's dejeuner. I can count on your assistance. He will need agood digestion!"
"You mean to tackle them?" asked Pariset.
"I don't want to be unfair to either party--to take you at the Germans'valuation, or to rate them too low. Suppose I stand aside; there willthen be two against two."
"But there are four others," said Kenneth.
"Who being of inferior clay are not allowed to contaminate the air fortheir betters. They remain outside. Last night they took turns atsentry-go in the rain in front of the house, and when not on duty dozedin the car."
"They may bring others back with them," suggested Pariset.
"They will not, if I know my Hellwig," answered Granger. "Of course weare wofully outnumbered if they all take a hand, to say nothing of themachine gun. The sound of that would probably bring down upon us aswarm of gentle Germans."
"Are they so near?" asked Kenneth.
"I tottered through a large camp of them a couple of miles to the north,and this morning I saw from the upper windows troops moving along a roadwithin a mile and a half to the west."
"Then we should have tumbled right into the camp if we had gone on,"said Kenneth.
"I think better of you than that! But you see that we must keep themachine gun quiet at all costs. A revolver shot would be safe, perhaps;but if we can avoid that, too, so much the better. Now I really must goand make my perquisitions. Last night I cooked some new-killed beefthey brought with them; to-day they expect something more choice. Imust scour the neighbourhood. There will be plenty of time, I think; ifthey should return before I do, I must leave you to exercise the sameresourcefulness as has defied the superman hitherto. They may search thehouse as they did last night. As a precaution, I suggest that you takerefuge in the garden during my absence. The shrubberies are excellent."
"Can you give us something to eat?" said Kenneth. "We are famished."
"Unhappily they cleared the board this morning, leaving me nothing butthe crumbs. But I will be as quick as possible. You shall breakfastroyally."
He left them. Instead of adopting his suggestion they went to the topof the house and watched the long defile of German troops on the westernroad. They would hear or see the returning car in good time to maketheir escape by the back door.
Within an hour Granger returned, with a couple of fowls, a duck, andother comestibles purchased at high prices from the few peasants in theneighbouring village whom the approach of the Germans had not scaredaway. Among his many accomplishments was a considerable skill incooking. He roasted the duck and one of the fowls, prepared bread sauceand apple, boiled potatoes to a nice point of flouriness, turned outBrussels sprouts dry and crisp.
"Now we will make a start," he said. "I can always work better if I amwell fed, and you, I am sure, are very sharpset."
"We are indeed," said Kenneth. "But what about the Germans?"
"There will be at least a smell of cooking when they arrive. Thepleasures of hope are keener than the pleasures of memory, I believe.While you eat, I will talk. What I say may aid your digestion; but youmust exercise your own united judgment. When you have finished, Isuggest that you rest until they come; they are not soft-tongued, and ifyou fall asleep their entrance will waken you. There are excellentdivans in the smoking-room on the other side of that curtain."
During the meal Granger outlined the plan which their arrival hadsuggested. It was audacious enough, but, as he remarked with a smile,they had had some training for important parts. When there was nothingleft of the poultry but the bones, they went into the smoking-room andthrew themselves on two luxurious divans upholstered in saddle bags.Granger cleared away, and placed clean plates and cutlery on the table.
Fatigued though they were, excitement kept them awake. Soon after onethey heard the car approaching. It drew up at the gates, which wereclosed, and the soldier-chauffeur sounded his horn, while two of hiscomrades alighted and pushed the gates open. Granger, after glancinginto the smoking-room, hastened to the front door, which he opened, oncemore a frail old servingman, as Hellwig and the major, followed by thesergeant, with two bottles of wine, came up the steps.
"Poultry--or game!" exclaimed Hellwig, sniffing appreciatively as heentered.
"That is well; I am ravenous," said the officer. "At any rate we shallnot be pois
oned to-day by the old man's vinegar.... Lay those bottlesdown," he added, addressing the sergeant, "then go out. You and the menshall have what is left from our meal."
The sergeant saluted and went out. Hellwig and the officer drew chairsto the table and seated themselves.
"Make haste!" Hellwig called in French through the open door towards thekitchen. "Stir your stumps, old man."
Granger came shuffling into the room, bent of back, nervously claspinghis hands.
"Where is the dejeuner?" cried Hellwig. "Why have you comeempty-handed? What do you mean by keeping us waiting?"
"Pardon, monsieur," faltered Granger. "I must beg messieurs to excuseme."
"Excuses! What do you mean, old fool?"
Granger's hands trembled more violently than ever. In his thinquavering voice he stammered:
"Pardon, monsieur; I am an old bird. Just before messieurs returned,parbleu! there came two cavalrymen, Uhlans, it seems, with a hunger ofwolves. I explained as well as I could that the dejeuner was beingprepared for two noble officers, but----"
"Well?" cried Hellwig, as the speaker paused.
"Pardon, monsieur; but they--they have eaten it all up."
"Sapperment! Where are those Uhlans?" roared Hellwig, half rising.
"They are here, monsieur. Hola!"
Kenneth and Pariset drew the curtain aside, and stepped into the room.Each held a revolver behind his back.
"What kind of behaviour is this?" growled the major. "Salute, pigs!"
Instead of the expected salute, the Germans saw two steady right handspointing revolvers at their heads.
"Merely a little joke, major," said Kenneth quietly: "a littleplay-acting. You and your friend shall be in the cast. You shallpretend to be prisoners."
The major swelled with astonishment and rage. Hellwig, who had fixedhis eyes on Kenneth, changed colour, and made a sudden grab for hisrevolver. But a peremptory voice from behind his chair caused him tosink back and slowly turn his amazed eyes.
"Hands up!"
The old servingman had suddenly become straight. His hands no longertrembled, his voice had lost its quaver. Covered by two revolvers,taken aback by the suddenness of surprise, the Germans were paralysedfor a few moments. The major recovered himself first, and was openinghis mouth to shout when Granger deftly slipped a table napkin betweenhis teeth, drew it tight, and knotted it behind. From under the tablehe lifted several short pieces of cord, and in two minutes theinfuriated officer was firmly bound to his chair.
Hellwig, meanwhile, whose face was the colour of the soldier's uniform,had sat limply watching Granger's quick and dexterous movements. He wasdealt with in his turn.
"Call the sergeant in," said Granger to Kenneth.
The man came at the summons, found himself looking down the muzzles oftwo revolvers as he entered at the door, and was soon sitting betweenthe others, the third guest at an empty board.
The distant sound of trotting horses drew the captors hurriedly to thewindow, and brought a gleam of hope into the captives' eyes.
"Cavalry, by all the powers!" Granger ejaculated, glancing up the road."They are sure to visit the house. We have three men still to dealwith, and three minutes for the job. The bold simple course, Amory! Youmust tackle them. Saunter out, don't hurry."
Kenneth, followed by Pariset, walked slowly towards the waiting car. Thethree men in it stared in surprise.
"We arrived this morning," said Kenneth in an easy tone to thechauffeur, "and ate the Herr Major's lunch--by mistake."
The men guffawed; the German soldier does not love his officers. Thiswas a good joke.
"That's a nice little toy you have there," Kenneth went on, pointing tothe machine gun. He stepped quickly into the car to look at it.
"It is forbidden," said the chauffeur, with an uneasy glance at thewindow. "Only the crew are allowed in the car."
"Yes, yes, one understands. Just a minute!"
Before the men could make up their minds to turn him out he had swunground the machine gun to cover them.
"Hands up!" he cried.
They laughed, thinking it a practical joke, until they saw Parisetcovering them with his revolver.
"Hands up!" he repeated, imitating Kenneth's accent as well as he could.
But they recognised now that he was a foreigner, and seeing at thismoment Granger dragging the helpless form of the important HerrBrinckmann down the steps they surrendered.
"Get down, and don't stir a step for your lives," Kenneth commanded."Drop your arms."
Pariset kept guard over them while Granger bundled Hellwig into the carand Kenneth started the engine.
"I didn't like to leave Brinckmann behind," explained Granger smoothlyas he squeezed himself into the seat beside Hellwig. "We are just intime."
Just as the helmets of the approaching troopers showed above the parkwall a furlong away, Kenneth sprang after Pariset into the car, and letin the clutch. The car moved forward, swung round into the drive,shaved the gatepost, and sped northward down the road.