CHAPTER 25
It took him a while to get back to his house on Kingston Street, but the extra walk cleared his head. Keeping the precious newspaper under his arm he stopped in one of the stores along Queen Street to buy some cold water. The shop assistant had asked him if he was ok, and Liam just nodded; lost for words.
He could see on his return that Patty had already given Toby his dinner. The toddler sat contentedly in his high chair gnawing on a piece of apple, as Patty ate her meal beside him.
“You’re later than usual today. Have you already eaten in town?” Patty smiled, but then her expression changed as she turned to look at her partner.
“Yes.” The lie came easily.
“Are you ok? You look pale.”
“I think I ate a bad hamburger, eh?” Liam kissed the top of his son’s head and gave Patty a peck on the cheek.
“I take it you don’t want anything to eat?”
“Not yet; I’m going to have a shower.”
As the jet of warm water pounded on his face Liam tried to come to terms with the item of news that he had read on the tram; that his previous fiancée whom he thought had died was actually still alive and had been held prisoner for almost a decade. There was also the question of the little girl in the picture; the writer stated that Amy was the daughter of Dr Nichols, who had been delivered whilst her mother had been held captive.
Wrapping himself in a towel Liam padded out of the en-suite shower room and had another look at the photograph in the newspaper lying on the bed. It was difficult to see whom the girl resembled due to her wearing sunglasses, but he wondered whether there was a possibility he could be her father instead of the abductor. He also knew that he could never rest until he found out.
He felt sick all over again. He sat on the edge of the bed and put his head in his hands.
“Oh dear, you are ill aren’t you!” Patty popped her head around the door on her way to bath Toby.
“Sorry baby, I’ll be alright in a minute. I’ll read Toby a story when he’s had a bath.”
“Ok, but you’re making the quilt all wet.”
Liam stood up to dry himself. He put on a t-shirt and a comfortable pair of jeans, walked through to his son’s room, and sat down in the rocking chair and put his head back on the cushion. Only a few hours ago his life was well ordered and predictable; off he would travel to his downtown practice every morning, and at the end of the working day he would return on the six o’clock tram. Patty would have a meal ready, and they would sit and eat together with their son. After Toby was asleep they would watch TV in the evenings, and sometimes they would make love on the sofa if the programme sucked.
His life had suddenly been turned upside down. He looked around his son’s bedroom; the little cot in the corner crammed with soft toys, the rocking horse that Toby loved to sit on, and the bookshelf next to him full to the brim with well-loved and well-thumbed books. He had a son whom he adored and cherished, and a beautiful red-headed partner that most guys would give their right arm for. However, Patty wasn’t Beth, but she was the mother of his son and he would do anything for her. The only thing he couldn’t do was to love her as much as he’d once loved Beth.
Liam smiled as he listened to Toby’s protestations at having to lie still for a clean diaper. Patty seemed relieved to hand him over to his father
“Hey, little man! Which story tonight then?” Liam gathered his son in his arms in the rocking chair and reached over for a few books. He let Toby choose a story, enjoying the clean baby smell and warmth of the little body close to his.
When the stories were told and Toby’s head lay heavy on his chest, Liam closed his eyes and rocked quietly in the chair. He knew he could never give up the love he felt for his son in favour of a possible daughter that he had never known existed. On the other hand he had loved Beth with a passion so deep that it had taken nearly eight years for the memories of her to begin to fade enough to let somebody else into his life. That somebody else had been Patty, who to date had no idea that Beth had ever existed, and not even the first inkling that she, Patty, would always be second best.
The baby slept on his chest, sucking his thumb. Liam stood up, laid his son in his cot, and covered him with the quilt lovingly stitched by Patty. He put on the night-light and went downstairs to his study, switched on the computer, and searched on the Internet for Iain Treacher’s email address at The Londoner Standard. The message he sent informed the journalist that he was once engaged to Doctor Beth Nichols, there was a strong possibility that he could be Amy’s father, and that he had no idea where Beth or her parents were now living. Just for completeness he wrote a letter to Beth, care of Iain Treacher at the Londoner Standard, and mailed it that evening.
Iain Treacher, already sniffing out a front-page story, did not take very long to reply. By the time Liam had returned home from work the next day there was a message informing him to prepare for a trip to the UK.
CHAPTER 26
The time had come to tell Patty; there was no way around it. Iain Treacher had contacted the hospital where Beth had stayed, and had asked the ward manager to contact Beth’s parents at the address in Norfolk they had provided. He had forwarded Liam’s letter to the ward manager to send on. Liam had given permission for his email address to be handed over to Beth’s mother and father, and Sally Nichols had replied to the erstwhile son in law she had not seen since the early days of Beth’s abduction. Iain wanted a front-page story and was prepared to pay for it. Liam had informed him that any money must go to Beth if she was prepared to cooperate.
On receiving Sally’s email two days later, Liam waited until later that evening when he and Patty were cuddled together in bed:
“I’m going to have to take a week off work and fly to the UK, baby.” He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable response.
“Why?” Patty lifted herself up on one elbow and looked down at him.
“There’s something I need to show you.” He reached over and opened his bedside cabinet, taking out the newspaper:
“Have a read of page two.” He lay back down on the pillow while she read, all the time watching her face for any change of expression.
Patty read the article and folded up the newspaper:
“I don’t understand. Who is this Doctor Beth Nichols? Do you know her then?” She lay back down and moved closer to Liam, placing one arm across his chest and one leg across his thighs.
“I was engaged to her many years ago, but I thought she was dead. I have to find out if I am the father of her daughter.”
Patty stiffened beside him and she sat up again.
“My God! You never told me this!”
“I only just told you because I thought she was dead. I never knew she’d been abducted and kept prisoner.”
“How could you not tell me? Am I so unimportant? Well what about Toby and me? Can we come with you?”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“Do you still love her?” Tears were already starting to fill Patty’s eyes, and Liam hugged her.
“You are my partner now. I stopped thinking about Beth when I met you. We have a beautiful son together. I just have to find out if I have a daughter or not as well. I hope you understand.”
The constant drain on his emotions over the past few days had left Liam feeling washed out and exhausted. He switched off the bedside lamp as Patty turned over on her side away from him. He cuddled up to her back and slipped an arm around her waist.
“I’m so sorry, baby. I really thought she was dead. This is the first news I’ve had about her in nearly ten years.”
“You should have told me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I just thought it was all over and I pushed it to the back of my mind.”
“Will you come back to us?”
“Of course. There’s no question of that. If I have a daughter I just need to see her and get to know her.”
“We’ll be waiting fo
r you, Toby and me.”
“I know, baby. I know.”
Liam also knew that Iain Treacher would be waiting for him at Heathrow airport. He supposed the man was probably on the case now; booking his flight and hotel rooms for both of them and the inevitable photographer while he and Patty slept into the small hours. There was no going back now.
Patty was unusually silent at breakfast the next day as she spooned cereal into Toby’s mouth. After breakfast Liam checked his emails and came back into the kitchen.
“I just have to go downtown and see a couple of patients at the clinic, then I’ll return at lunchtime to pack. There’s a flight leaving at 8 o’clock tonight. Iain Treacher has booked me on it.”
“When will you be back?”
“My flight comes in at 3.30 on Saturday afternoon. Why don’t you and Toby come down and meet me? We can show Toby the planes; he’ll love it.”
“Yes I’d like that.”
“Ok. See you soon then. Can you order me a taxi for about four o’clock baby, eh?” He kissed her and brushed the top of his son’s russet curls with his lips. The baby stopped chewing momentarily to flash him a big smile showing a few pearly white teeth caked in cereal.
“Yes. Reluctantly.” Patty gave him a thin smile as he turned towards the front door.
CHAPTER 27
He hated airports. All the waiting around and wasted time made him irritable. Liam sat at one of the tables outside the Swiss Chalet restaurant at Pearson International airport eating roast chicken and watching the people go by. He knew he was too wound up at the thought of seeing Beth again to get any sleep on the plane, and figured it was going to be a long night. Treacher would be waiting for him at the other end; flashbulbs would be popping, and his mind was too distracted by the recent events to even think about concentrating on a book for the length of the journey.
After his meal he visited a gift store in the departure lounge and bought a pad of writing paper with a cover depicting the CN tower. He decided to compose another letter to Beth during the flight; it would occupy his mind and channel his thoughts in the right direction.
When his flight was announced over the loudspeaker Liam made his way to the gate and waited in line with British tourists returning home after the Christmas vacation. His ear quickly attuned to the accents and he wanted to tell them about Beth and scan their faces for a response, but figured they had probably not kept up with any news from home during their stay in Toronto and would not know what he was talking about.
Walking past the checkout staff on the gate, he stepped onto the plane and made himself as comfortable as he could in his seat for the seven-hour flight. He felt a strange excitement at seeing Beth again and meeting the girl who could possibly be his daughter, but at the same time felt guilty at leaving Patty and Toby. He momentarily closed his eyes and pictured his son’s beaming smile that morning; the deep love he had for his child would ensure a return to the land of his birth, but he could not help but feel as though he was floundering in a sea of uncertainty.
“Hello. I’ll try not to be any trouble.”
Liam came back to reality as an elderly British lady strapped herself into the seat next to his. He smiled as he adjusted the clips on his own belt. He hoped she didn’t intend to talk non-stop the whole time.
“Hi. You’ll be fine I’m sure. I’m Liam.” He pretended to take an interest in the air hostess as she pointed out the emergency exits.
“Pleased to meet you Liam. I’m Shirley. I’ve just said goodbye to my son and his wife. No matter how many times I do it, it never seems to get any easier.”
“I’ve just done the same, although my son just a baby I’m still going to miss him dreadfully.” Liam smiled again at the fading memory of Toby in his high chair that morning.
“Of course. Will you be visiting relatives in England? Are your parents English? You have a very slight British accent on some words.” Shirley turned to look at Liam, her interest growing in her new travelling companion.
Liam took out his notepad and pen, hoping to immerse himself in his writing:
“Yes, I’m going to visit my father. My mother is Canadian and my father is English, so I have dual nationality. I lived in England with my father for a few years while I was training to be a doctor. They’re divorced now but seem to get on better than they ever did, now that they live on separate continents.”
He hoped the part-lie would quell her curiosity. The engines started up and the plane began to move forward to join the queue for take-off. Liam looked at the blank sheet of paper and wondered what on earth to say to Beth, the only woman he had ever truly loved.
“I’d say your wife is a very lucky lady. Some men can’t be bothered with babies and toddlers. My husband only took an interest in Anthony when he was about 18 and they could go off drinking together. You obviously miss your son. It’s lovely.”
Liam smiled again at the old lady as the engines roared and the plane began to gather speed down the runway. He’d been so excited about meeting Beth again that he hadn’t even thought about visiting his father, who had no idea he was on his way to the UK. As the plane took off he hoped he’d be able to speak to his father before he saw his son’s face plastered all over the newspapers.
CHAPTER 28
Taking advantage of a lull in the conversation after dinner as his travelling companion dozed, Liam found a pen in his jacket pocket and opened his writing pad.
What could he say to somebody that was once so dear to him that it took eight years just to begin to expunge the memories? Liam sighed and chewed the end of his pen in concentration:
My dearest Beth,
I don’t know if you received the last letter I sent you, so I’m writing another one.
If I had passed up buying the Londoner Standard in a bookstore in downtown Toronto a few days ago I would never have seen your photo inside the front cover. The fact that you are still alive makes me happy beyond my wildest dreams.
We had the world at our feet ten years ago. To have you snatched from me at the time was devastating, and for many years I felt that I could not go on as the grief was too raw. After five years I stopped working in the UK and went back home, hoping the new environment would help me forget. I moved back with Mom and slowly took up the fragments of a new life.
Patty is part of my new life now, and we have a beautiful son, Toby, who is 18 months old. I am very thankful for Patty; she took on somebody too damaged to function properly, and turned my life around. I look at her and feel nothing but admiration. She organises my life and takes care of our son. I come home after a day’s work to a well-kept house and a happy, smiling toddler.
However, I can never feel for Patty what I felt for you. You were my soul mate; my other half. We could finish each other’s sentences. When I held you in my arms I felt complete.
I realize of course that now we are two different people. What you have gone through is catastrophic, and I would not be surprised if you never wanted to look at a man again.
We cannot change what has happened or turn back the clock. I could no more leave my son than fly off to the moon, and there’s no way I would ever take him from his mother. Patty loves me with all her heart, and she has made me the man I am today; able to cope and function again. I suppose what I am saying is that although I will never stop loving you I cannot be the husband you once wanted me to be. I don’t know if you still think of me as your fiancée, but too much has happened in the meantime and I am a different person now.
My darling I am so looking forward to seeing you, albeit just for a short time. Please accept me with all my imperfections.
Truly yours,
Liam xx
He tore off the pages carefully, folded them in half, put the letter in his jacket pocket and closed his eyes.
He must have dozed for a while. When he awoke the stewardess was serving coffee. Shirley passed him a steaming cup and he drank gratefully.
“You had a nice snooze there. Pleasant dreams?” She t
ook out a bag of food from behind the seat in front of her. “Would you like a biscuit?”
Liam rubbed his eyes as he drained the small plastic cup:
“I guess. I don’t really remember. Thanks for the cookie.” He yawned and smiled.
“They’re chocolate hob-nobs. I always take some wherever I go.”
“You’re a star, Shirley; a true star.”
“I think they’ll dim the lights soon so that we can have a few hours sleep. I always find it hard to sleep though when I’ve just said goodbye to my son and his wife and children.”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to get much more sleep. I’m too wired.”
“Looking forward to seeing your father?”
“Well, it’s a bit more than that. I’m going to see Dad, but also I’m meeting up with somebody else that I haven’t seen for a very long time.”
“That must be very exciting. I always feel like that on the outward journey to see Anthony and Clare. Are they waiting for you at Heathrow?”
“No I don’t think so. She’s just had an operation. I don’t think she’s up to travelling much at the moment.”
“I hope she’s not too poorly to see you.”
“So do I Shirley. So do I.”
The lights dimmed as the plane flew into the night. As Shirley stood up to find the washroom Liam settled back into the seat and closed his eyes again. He listened to the noise of the engines and was grateful for the chance to be alone with his thoughts for a while.