Chapter 11
"So tell me how you're liking Earth."
Colson Pembroke was staring at me with high expectations. He wanted to hear how I loved everything. He wanted me to tell his audience how wonderful Earth was. He wanted to hear how every moment was exciting and every new sight thrilling. And Christophe and Reginald wanted to hear the same thing. I could feel it radiate off all of them, Colson in front of me, and Christophe and Reginald standing behind the camera silently begging me to jump through the hoop.
It was a hard question. I knew the answer they wanted. But I just couldn't flat out lie like that. "It's certainly different from what I'm used to."
Colson laughed. I could hear Lynette sigh. She was allowed to be in the room only when Christophe was sure she was so infatuated with Colson that she wouldn't, couldn't speak. I don't know what she saw in the guy, personally. He looked very silly to me with his silver hair and his sparkling suit. He had something pierced right into his nose, and said these silly things all the time which Lynette later told me was "just how people talked".
"I bet, I bet," he said quickly. That was another thing about the guy that bothered me. He said everything as if there was some time limit I didn't know about. His voice had a hyper drive. "So what smokes?"
See? All the time with the stupid phrases, through the whole interview. No, it started even before the interview, when he stood shaking my hand. "An outie! In the flesh! It's ice, baby. You're absolute ice."
I still have no clue what the man was talking about. Lynette tried to explain, but her explanations were about the same as his words. It all just lead to one big headache. I did my best to guess my way through it.
"Fire," I answered.
He laughed and slapped his leg. "Cool as breeze, isn't he? Icy!" He was talking to the audience through his camera. The lights made his sparkling suit shoot flashes of bright daggers into my eyes. My head pounded more.
"Word from the bird is that you had a sit down with the pres."
"Yes. I had lunch with President Norton."
He suddenly got very serious. "Minds of the land need to know." He paused, looked to the camera, then back at me. "Is it a rug or is it real?" He waited a heartbeat, then began to laugh. "I joke. I joke. You must be a little overwhelmed by all this attention."
Now that was something I could actually answer. "Yes."
He laughed again, even though I didn't say anything funny. "And that's all the time we have today. Catch me on the up and out!" His expression froze. I didn't know what was going on.
"And we're out," said the bot manning the camera.
He slumped back in his chair. "Cut the damn lights already!" The bright lights were instantly dimmed and he held his hand out. A bot handed him a drink of something and he drank it and tugged on his tie. "Could it be any hotter in here?" A fan turned on from somewhere. He looked at me and drank his drink. "You suck on camera, kid."
I don't know why, but it made me laugh. I think it was just a long, absurd two days. That's what it had to be. I bet Mother would have called it hysteria. "You think? Let's see. I was raised in a tin can floating around other galaxies, my only human contact being with the twenty seven people on my ship and whatever life forms we stumbled on. Then I was shoved through an alien portal, hurtling through space at immeasurable speeds with no more than a thin woven metal suit of magic for an immeasurable amount of time. I was stuck in a bubble on Mars, worked like a bot, programmed much the same way, and told I had to, had to come to a planet and love it just because my Mother and Dad had a good time here years ago. Tell me, just what in that would make you think I'd be any good on camera?"
I guess I was mad. I didn't feel mad when I started speaking. It just...built. It was a day of censure, a day of me being a disappointment to people. It started with Mabel. She hated the idea of me existing. Apparently, she and her family always blamed my father for Ralph "abandoning" them. They weren't rich, and relied on Ralph's income. I didn't know this. It didn't seem to matter that Ralph was granted a stipend for them. He pointed out that they earned more with him gone than they had with him there. It didn't matter a bit to the bitter old woman. She ranted and raved, then turned on me.
I was unnatural.
I was an abomination.
I was a blight on the world and should have stayed in my little tin can far away where I couldn't "infect and infest the minds of the youth". I think that's what she said, anyway. Her children tried to hush her up. Ralph goaded her. It was like when Marlon and Lynette bicker. I guess it doesn't matter how many years they are apart. Maybe all siblings fight like that.
After Ralph said he had enough abuse, I got back to the manor to find that the meeting with the president was moved to a different location. I didn't know why. It didn't seem important at the time. Apparently he hates the Cosworths as well and flat out refused to set foot in my personal house.
"He lives in a house your grandfather built," said Christophe. He was highly offended at the slight. Personally I didn't care. The people of this planet weren't liking me very much, but I guess, in hindsight, I wasn't really liking many of them much, either. I put on a good face, though. I sat through a tense lunch. I let the president glare at me while talking to Christophe and Reginald. He even spoke with Ralph. Ralph had been, after all, a Sergeant through a "pivotal war". I never knew that. It was important to Norton, though.
"I support the military. Hell, I wish we had 'em back!" Ralph was the only one he treated nicely. It was odd to me that Ralph did not return that kindness. In fact, if I had to guess, I'd say Ralph actually hated the man. Ralph, who doesn't hate anyone. Not even his shrew of a sister. His words to her were equally as harsh as hers to us. But you could see in both their eyes that they were really happy to know the other one was alive and well.
There was none of that with Norton. The most he said was "Yes, sir." And he said it cold. Bot cold. So cold he could have been talking to a wall.
Just before the president left, he asked for a private word with me. Ralph was against it, of course. Interestingly, Christophe was also against it. He said we were running late, which we weren't. Reginald looked to Christophe quickly, then said it was "no problem".
It was a problem. I wish he knew it before I walked into that room.
The door wasn't even closed all the way before he started in. "I am the elected representative to the United Empire. My citizens put me in office. And do you know why?"
"No, sir."
"Because I look out for them. Because they know I have their best interests in heart. And do you know what that means?"
"No, sir."
"That means that I keep little punk ass space brats from screwing everything up."
My face burned. "I don't..."
"I did not tell you to speak. You are here to listen." He pointed a fat finger at me. "You should not exist. And if you do, they should never know about it. By god do you know the chaos you've stirred up already? And what the hell were you thinking telling people there's aliens out there? My holo's been buzzing non-stop."
"I was just..."
"I said don't speak!" He ran a hand through his hair. "You all have the IOC fooled. If it was up to me, you'd be back on that can zinging to Utopia and all you space freaks could make it or break it!" He made a slicing motion across his throat. "Cut off. No more handouts from us. You want the stars? Have them. Just stay off my rock!"
I couldn't help but answer that. "It's not up to you, sir."
He froze and stared at me. "No. No it's not. Not yet. But I'll get there. You don't have nearly as many supporters as you seem to think. And when the aliens start invading..."
I sighed. So that's what it was about. The fears. I listened to his barrage of insanity. I told Christophe and Reginald about it in the transport home. Ralph assured me that the president was a hypocrite. "Your family money got him in office in the first place!" Christophe was quick to make us promise we wouldn't speak against him at all. Lynette held my hand the whole r
ide to the studio. She hadn't even been addressed by the president at all. He didn't even acknowledge her presence.
I think that's what made me hate Norton the most.
Anyway, it had been a bad day and all of that bubbled up when Colson poked and poked. He was an irritating man. I don't know why he was so popular. He snapped at his staff. He demanded, instead of asked. And I just have to say it...his shiny suit was just stupid.
After I blurted it all out, I felt tired. Not better, just tired. "It's been a long day," I said, turning to Christophe. "Can we please leave?"
"Hang on," said Colson quickly. "You get that, Norm?"
The bot behind the camera nodded.
"Yes!" He smiled and jumped up. "There we go. I knew there was some life in you somewhere. All this 'yes' 'no' 'blah blah' in bot talk... I knew it had to be an act!"
"Colson, you do not have permission to air a single thing after the interview ended." Reginald swooped in.
"Reggie, babe. I can't use that utter pile he gave me and you know it."
When the cameras were off and he wasn't making an entrance, he could speak normally. That fact made me hate the guy even more.
"Don't 'Reggie, babe' me! We had a deal, Cole. I only agreed to this interview..."
"To make your space-speriment seem human. Ugh. Mission failed. You put an automaton in that chair for me." He turned to me. "Sorry, kid. But from where I was sitting you were as far from ice as flames."
"I was just..." I started.
"Now look here..." Christophe started.
"Take a minute and think," said Colson, cutting us both off. "You met Norton. He hated you, didn't he?" I looked to Christophe, but Colson wouldn't have that. "No. Don't ask your handler. You're the son of the worlds best scientists. Think for yourself on this one, kid. He hated you, didn't he?"
"Yes."
"He hates space. Hates the idea of 'aliens'." He wiggled his fingers and said "aliens" in a funny voice. I didn't know whether or not to be offended. "He's a fat ass pol. What do you expect? There's reasons he wasn't elected to the IOC."
"I didn't know you were so up on politics, Cole."
He sighed. "Reggie, I have to be up on everything. Why do you think I shoved this crap in my nose? You think it's fun? Or pleasant? Please. It's what they want. And I have to keep giving them what they want." He turned back to me. "Kid, forget Norton. He's an ass, and one that's on his way out. One more year, and there's no way he'll get another term. Not with all this crap about a new militia. He wants a war. And he'll take it with anyone, even other species."
"And that's exactly why you can't air..."
Colson sighed. "Don't you get it, Reggie? You called in a favor for this. I get it. I owe you, big time. And I'm just paying you in full. Trust me. That one nugget of honesty from his mouth is going to do big things for you. Big." He grinned and shook his head. "You're slipping, Reg. You used to be better at this. All that Martian air's frying your brain." He turned back to me and thumped me on the shoulder. "Stop with the automaton act. More of that sarcasm. Kids love it. And it wouldn't hurt you to learn a few phrases. You don't always have to talk like a scientist." He turned and left, all his bots following.
We were halfway back to the manor before Lynette remembered how to speak. And then she didn't stop until after dinner, when Marlon threatened to "noogie the hell" out of her if she said one more word about "that Colson moron".
Ralph and I sat alone in one of the living areas of the manor, watching the rebroadcast on a large screen. They had cut it and pasted together different parts. They chopped up my heated speech and put some of it after the regular interview questions. "Replay," Ralph demanded when it was over. It played again.
It was odd to see myself on a screen like that. I wasn't one of Lynette's tv programs. But I was. I really looked the part. I tried to think of how I'd see it, how I'd take it if I was a normal kid. But I'm not a normal kid. I have no idea at all how it played to them.
"Do you think Colson was right about Norton?" I asked Ralph.
"Abso-fricken-lutely. Those types, they always know the real score." I asked what he meant. "Politicians are surrounded by people who spend their lives analyzing the population. They look at data and compile it in the best way they can think of to make the politician happy."
"That doesn't sound like a very good system."
"Yes and no. It gives them blind optimism."
"That's good?"
"Not always. But it's better than blind pessimism."
Is it?
"It's the people like Colson who actually know what's going on in the world. I mean, really going on. Take away that monkey suit and the stupid hair, and he's a really smart guy. If he thinks this is the way to play it..." He shrugged.
It doesn't make sense that someone like Colson should care one way or the other.
"He's an old friend of Reggie's. Didn't they say?" They did seem familiar. "Reginald gave him his first network. STNN, the StarTech News Network. He started as a legit news hound."
"Like a reporter?"
"Yes. Didn't you read anything that Lynette gave you?" He scoffed and shook his head. "Key players, Jake."
All that time I thought Ralph was loafing around hooked on snacks and crappy programs, and he actually learned way more than me. Oops. "So what happened to him?"
"He played in front of the younger audience. They ate him up. So he went that route and he's now one of the biggest moguls in the entertainment industry."
"So that's the favor that he owes Reginald."
"And more importantly to us, the devotion to StarTech. He's right. Forget Norton. If Colson says to play to the others, then do it."
"Christophe didn't seem to happy about it."
"Trust me, Jake. Go with Colson on this. Christophe's got a personal axe to grind with Colson."
Lynette tapped on the doorway. "Did you want to know what's in your mail?"
Ralph pretended to yawn and said he was tired. I didn't know why, but I also didn't stop him. I clicked screen off.
"Oh, I was hoping I could watch it." Lynette sat on the couch next to me and turned the screen back on. I sighed and let her play it through. And again. But it had been too long of a day for me to let it go any more.
"Okay, it's watched." I guess I snapped. Lynette hurried to shut off the screen. "Sorry," I said. "Ralph watched it about ten times, and before that..."
"It's okay. I'm sorry it was a rough day."
Ralph told them all about his sister during dinner. And she was there for the rest. "It's okay. About what I expected."
"Oh, Jake. Don't hate Earth just because of a rough start. It's not all like this. Colson was amazing."
I felt the side of my mouth twitch. "He was? Could have fooled me."
She sighed. It was an annoyed sigh. "Do you want to know what's in your mail?" Yes, she was definitely annoyed.
"Sure."
She had it sorted in to four piles. "This first set, it's just junk. People wanting things from you."
"Like what?"
"Money."
"Oh." I took one and looked at it even though she said it was junk. It said, "You are cordially invited to view our private collection of Dupree original mens' wear." It went on to promise me that only a "select few" are offered this opportunity. "I shouldn't go?"
She laughed. "Jake. This probably gets sent to all rich people. It's ads, just like you see in the holozines, only on paper to make it seem fancy. They might have a much higher price tag on the clothes, but it's still just a store trying to sell you something."
"And all of these are like that?"
"Yep. Those are the junk. This pile," she said, handing me another, "Are requests for donations."
"Of what?"
"Money."
"So the same thing."
She shook her head. "No. These people aren't selling anything."
"They're just asking for money and not giving me anything in return?"
"It's charity requests
, Jake. Hard luck cases." She must have seen my confusion. She took the top one. "This one is from the Church of Solitude asking for a donation to help them build a new temple. See? It's people trying to do things, usually good, asking for help because they don't have the money to do the things themselves."
"Okay, well. Uh..." I was in over my head.
"I just sorted these. I'll give them to Christophe and he can send them to the Cosworth Foundation."
I felt like an idiot, but I had to ask. "What's that?"
"It's your family's charitable fund."
"Oh."
"It's like a company in itself. It invests a portion of your money in different ventures, then distributes that money for charity."
Finally, something my money did that I felt good about! "That sounds pretty good."
She grinned at me. "It is. Your family gives a lot of money."
That sounded better and better. Finally something that wasn't stupid or useless.
"So should we give the, uh..." I looked back at the letter. "Church of Solitude...should we give them money?"
She shrugged. "As I said, you have a company that handles these requests. These people only sent it to you directly to go around the process."
"Oh."
"They're hoping you'll just transfer the credits without them having to apply and appeal."
"And that's bad?"
"Yes. You want to know that you're giving money to good people, after all. That's what your board does." She put that stack of mail to the side and moved on to the next. "This pile is invitations." It was, by far, the largest pile. "Most of these Christophe will not let you attend. Some of them are more for Ralph, Reginald, and Christophe. And some of these we really, really want to go to."
I had to smile. "We do, huh?"
She nodded. "Absolutely."
"Then we'll talk to Christophe."
She was unable to hide her excitement and carefully set the stack of invitations to the side. "This last pile, it's personal letters. I didn't read them. Well, I did a little, but only enough to figure out what they are," she said quickly.
"Go ahead and read them."
"But...they're your letters." She pushed the pile to me. There were only a dozen or so. "Honest, Jake. I didn't read most of them."
I picked the first one up. It started nice enough. "Dearest Jacob." I skimmed to the end to see who it was from. "Who's Jackie?"
"Your aunt. Or cousin. Cousin?" Lynette frowned and shook her head. "I don't know, really. It's hard to get my head around because here, you'd be almost ninety." She gave a laugh. "You're an old young man. It makes the family thing a little difficult."
"So some cousin. Or aunt."
"Yes. Let's see. I think she is your aunt's daughter. That would make her...cousin. That's it. She's your cousin."
A cousin. One I had never met. One that called me dearest. Oh boy.
"She wants to meet with you to fill you in on your family. Apparently she is very big in genealogy. That's tracing your roots."
I couldn't keep the smile on my face from spreading. Oh no, she hadn't read my mail. Not at all. "I know what genealogy is."
"Yes. Well it's a huge fad here, tracing roots and all. Every family seems to have one that's into it. Anyway, she wants to meet with you."
I thought it might be nice to meet with someone who actually didn't hate the very idea of me. "Sure."
Lynette nodded. "I thought that's what you'd say so I already accepted. She'll arrive the day after tomorrow."
I went to the next letter. "And this one?"
Lynette made a face. "That's from your business advisor."
"Not a nice guy?"
"Oh, I'm sure he's fine. But bo-ring. Here. Read it."
She was right. It was very dry and boring. He sounded just like a scientist. "And when should I meet with him?"
"Oh definitely before you meet your cousin."
"Why?"
"Well, she says that all she wants is to see you and fill you in, but that's never, ever all they want."
I felt my eyebrow go up and I leaned back on the couch. Lynette always had an amazing grasp of people. "No?"
"No way. You have to remember, Jake, that once your Dad went up to space, the Cosworth fortune was in a kind of limbo. There's a lot of extended family that you support. I bet they're worried you'll come in and take it all away."
"Why would I do that?"
She looked worried that she offended me. She didn't. I was just curious. "I don't think you will. But put yourself in their shoes. They don't know you from Adam."
Huh?
"They don't know you from a hole in the wall."
Okay. I guess?
She sighed at my confusion. "For all they know, you could be a jerk who's going to cut off all the freeloaders."
Ah. Got it. "I'm not going to take their money."
"It's not their money. Not one penny. They don't do anything at all to earn it."
"How do you know?"
She looked guilty.
"Lynette."
"Fine. After reading through the rest, cousins and second cousins and so and so who call themselves your family...well I went to Marlon and we kind of...well..."
"Lynette," I said again. "I won't be mad."
She didn't look sure. "We looked in your financial files."
"Okay."
She looked like she was waiting for me to go crazy. "Okay? That's it? That's all you're going to say?"
It made me laugh. "Yes, that's all."
"You aren't mad?"
"Why should I be?"
"Because finances are even more private than mail!"
I laughed harder. "Well you already read all that, too, so I guess it doesn't really matter."
Her face turned bright red. "I did not read..."
"What did you find in my financial files?" I didn't want her flustered. I wasn't trying to embarrass her.
"Your 'family' all draw money from your account."
I figured it was like Mabel. I explained it to Lynette, how Ralph's family got money from StarTech that Ralph would have earned if he had stayed. She did not agree.
"It's not from StarTech, for one. It's from your own accounts. Well, your father's, which have now all been put in your name."
That made me angry. Ridiculously so. "Why? He's still alive."
Lynette put her hands up. "I'm not saying any different. But in terms of banking, he's not here, you are. The wheels have to turn, Jake."
I have given it thought. I suppose she was right. Dad probably would never return to Earth. He had already made that clear. Still, next interview I did, I planned on announcing just how alive and well Dad was, for my own piece of mind if nothing else.
God I missed him. I really could have used his help just then.
"Fine," I said, not really caring who got what money. "So they get paid out of the family money."
"No. You're not understanding. The family members also get paid out of the Cosworth Foundation accounts, and get the stipend from StarTech, those that qualify, anyway."
They got paid three times. I began to see why they would worry. "I'll talk to the accounts guy tomorrow about it."
She nodded. It was exactly what she wanted. "So most of these are from your relatives. But there's one you might really be interested in." She dug it out of the pile and handed it to me. "It's from another cousin of yours, Alistair."
She was right. I was interested.
Dear Jacob,
I don't know you, you don't know me. And yet, the things we share are innumerable. For one, we would have been born about the same time. I am just about to celebrate my eighty-seventh birthday. It is both thrilling and frustrating that you were in your mother when I was in mine, and yet you just celebrated your sixteenth. I can barely remember sixteen.
I never got the opportunity to meet Auntie Eunice, but father thought the world of his sister. I wish he was alive to meet the son that is no doubt as much like his mother as I am my f
ather. I mean, of course, nothing like them whatsoever!
I would be very pleased if we could meet. I have never given up the hope of meeting Auntie Eunice someday. When the rumor of a child, you, surfaced among the conspiracists years ago, something inside just knew it was the truth. If you could make time for a silly old man, it would be the culmination of a long journey for both of us.
Sincerely,
Alistair Willington
I read it twice. Something about the way it was written made me smile. It was very like Mother, in some ways. It felt almost familiar.
"Yes, definitely."
Lynette smiled. "I knew you'd want to meet him. He sounds icy, doesn't he?"
I rolled my eyes. "Now don't you start talking like that. I've had enough of that to last a lifetime!"
She ignored the interruption. "I told Christophe we must go see him. He's in Montana. We've been approved for a short trip, but Christophe will let us know when. Probably not for a month or so."
"Not until then?"
She shook her head. "Oh, no. You'll be way too busy before then."
She was right. Boy, was she ever right.