And now here he was, prepared to do just that.
Yes, that’s exactly what he’d tell the judge. And with the kid stuck in Social Services, what better timing?
Another chuckle slithered to the surface as John shut his suitcase. He figured he’d get a meeting with the judge by tomorrow. Matters involving children tended to get precedence. At least that’s what the redhead had told Mikey. Then it’d be just a matter of hours before John and Ben Stovall met again. The do-good lawyer could have the brat for all he cared, but first he’d have to pay up.
McFadden ambled across his expansive bedroom, pulled open the top drawer of a mahogany chest, and grabbed the loaded revolver. If Plan A worked, he wouldn’t need it. Stovall would give him the cash and make the call to Cleveland police withdrawing the assault charges. That done, John would happily make his way back home.
If Plan A failed, though, he was prepared.
One way or another, Stovall was going to cooperate. Even if it meant taking the kid by force.
26
In the ten minutes Maggie had to clean up before meeting with Dr. Camas, she went to her private room and locked herself in the bathroom. She brushed her teeth to rid her mouth of the stale smell of vomit, and when she was finished, she leaned forward against the countertop and stared at her face in the mirror.
Nothing.
Not a single thing about her face or her eyes resembled the tenderhearted young girl who had attended that picnic so many years ago, when she first fell in love with Ben Stovall. Back then her dark blond hair and lithe, attractive figure were only added benefits. Her real beauty had come from somewhere deep within. It was something that burst through her smile and radiated from her eyes, something that made her face alive with the vibrancy of hope and the expectant promise of her future.
Maggie studied herself. How different would she look now if she’d told Ben the truth? Okay, so she’d made a mistake. She’d done the one thing a good Christian girl is never supposed to do: She’d had sex. But wasn’t Ben supposed to forgive her?
She let the question dangle in her mind for a moment, and the answer was clear. They’d only been friends back then. Ben might have forgiven her, but he wouldn’t have had any obligation to marry her. He very simply would have offered his condolences and moved on with his life. Without Maggie. He’d made it clear: He was looking to marry a woman of virtue, a virgin, plain and simple. Girls who gave up their purity were a dime a dozen, and Ben planned to hold out for someone like himself.
Someone with a modicum of self-control when it came to things of the flesh.
She drew back from the mirror, taking in her lifeless lip-line and the hardness around her eyes. She was still pretty, she knew. Fit, polished, store-bought. But no amount of money could undo the years of lies and the poison they’d bled into her system. No, the light that once burned inside her, the flame of youth and faith and hope and promise, had been extinguished long ago.
And it was all Ben’s fault.
I hate him, God … He never loved me, not a single moment. Not for me, anyway.
Let no deceit come from you.
Maggie squeezed her eyes shut, and the Scripture faded. Just as well. She didn’t have time to think about it. She needed to be in Dr. Camas’s office in two minutes.
He was waiting as usual when she entered the room, calmly, coolly, so that the peace and confidence than ran through him fairly filled the air. Being in his presence made Maggie feel safe and warm, and as she sat down she exhaled slowly.
“You wanted to see me?”
Dr. Camas smiled, and Maggie knew this conversation would be slow and meaningful, like all her discussions with him. “Yes.” He shifted his position so that he faced her squarely, crossing one leg over the other knee, clearly relaxed. “It was something you said in group.”
“I figured.”
The doctor cocked his head curiously. “Figured what?”
“The part about wanting a divorce. I figured that’d get a rise out of somebody in a Christian hospital like Orchards.”
Doctor Camas’s expression remained the same. “Actually it wasn’t that at all. You should know by now, Maggie, we aren’t here to force morality on you. That’s a choice you have to make, something between you and God. We’re here to help you unravel your feelings because the knot you brought into this place was making you sick, remember?”
She felt like a petulant junior high student, and her cheeks grew hot under his gaze. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
Dr. Camas picked up a pencil and tapped the eraser a few times on his desk, his gaze still on Maggie. “No need to apologize. I just want to make sure you’re clear on our roles.”
If they aren’t pushing me to do the right thing, then what was I feeling in the bathroom before I was sick? Maggie struggled with the question, but realized Dr. Camas was waiting for her response. “Okay. I’m clear. So what’d I tell group that made you think I was making progress?”
He caught his chin in his forefinger and thumb in a gesture that had become strangely comforting to Maggie. “You said you hate your husband.”
Maggie’s defenses rose and anger burned in her gut. “Don’t I have a right? After all he expected of me and all it’s caused me in my life, don’t I have a—”
“Maggie … ” He waited until he had her attention. “Did I put a judgment on your statement?”
She thought back a moment. It had to be wrong, making a statement like that about her husband. Didn’t it? “No. I guess not. But it isn’t exactly godly, telling a group of strangers that you hate your husband.”
A faint smile turned the corners of the doctor’s lips upward. “No, it isn’t. But it means you’re willing to talk about more than what happened.”
Her heart filled with uncertainty, and she blinked twice, waiting for the doctor to continue. “Meaning?”
“Meaning in the past you’ve talked about what happened between you and Ben. You talked about your pregnancy and how it felt to give your daughter up for adoption.” Dr. Camas paused, and Maggie dropped her gaze to her hands and felt the familiar pit in her stomach. Where are you, precious baby girl? She couldn’t take much discussion about the adoption now, not when she was dying to get out of Orchards and begin taking steps to find the child.
The doctor cleared his throat and she looked up again. “What you seldom talked about was how you felt about Ben. Until now.” He leveled his gaze at her. “Okay, Maggie, go along with me for a minute here, will you?”
She nodded.
“Why do you hate your husband?”
“Because he expected me to be perfect.” There was anger in her voice again, but she didn’t care. There would never be a better time or place to talk about this.
“He thought you were a virgin.”
“No, he expected me to be one. There’s a difference.” Maggie could feel her cheeks growing hot again.
“And since you weren’t, you lied to him.”
“I loved him! I had no choice.”
The room filled with the ticking sound of Dr. Camas’s wristwatch. “What if you’d told him the truth?” The question was calm and measured and unquestionably reasonable.
Maggie huffed and crossed her legs in a blur of motion. “He’d have moved on to someone else.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course.” Who did Dr. Camas think he was, second-guessing her and acting like he knew Ben better than she did? “He was going to marry a virgin, no matter what.”
Dr. Camas leaned back in his chair. “Let’s try something for a minute.”
A sigh escaped and Maggie resisted the urge to roll her eyes. This entire line of questioning was pointless. What was done was done. She hated Ben for forcing her hand, forcing her to give up her baby girl and to live nearly eight years of lies in order to appease his appetite for perfection.
The doctor was waiting and Maggie knew she had no choice but to go along. “Fine.”
“Think back, Maggie. What was it about Ben t
hat first made you love him?”
She didn’t like the question. At this point in her life and treatment, she was finally getting over Ben, feeling strong enough to stand up to him, preparing for the day when she would face him with the truth and hand him the divorce papers. This was no time to muddle her emotions with a trip back to where and when and why she first loved her husband. She crossed her arms in front of her and clenched hér jaw. “I think we’re past that, doctor.”
“Perhaps. But humor me, will you? What was it? Come on, Maggie, think.”
“Oh, okay.” She cast her gaze upward and studied the pattern of tiles on the ceiling. This was pointless, but … well, he was the doctor. She thought back to the picnic, to the way so many of her friends had been there that day. “He was different.”
“What do you mean? Go deeper, Maggie.”
She squirmed in her seat. “He knew what he wanted in life. When he talked about his faith it was like … a real thing, a real relationship. Stronger than mine, even; stronger than my parents’. And they’d been Christians all their lives.”
Dr. Camas nodded slowly. “But he said he wouldn’t marry a girl unless she was a virgin, is that right?”
Wasn’t it? Hadn’t he said it that way? Maggie thought hard …
She could feel the humid, night air on her skin, hear the worship band playing in the background. And suddenly it was as though Ben were sitting beside her again, the way he had been that night on the grass at the picnic. She closed her eyes and she could almost hear his voice …
She shook her head. “I don’t think he mentioned it that night, honestly. He said he knew God had a plan for his life and he … he wanted to obey so the plan would happen one day. Something like that.”
“Okay, so sometime in the next few weeks, then. He must have told you he wouldn’t marry a girl who wasn’t a virgin, right? Think back, Maggie.”
She sighed and her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. He had said that several times. At least, that’s how she’d always remembered it. She shut her eyes again, squeezing out several tears that fell onto her cheeks. “He … we didn’t see each other that much, but we talked on the phone … ”
Memories flooded her mind. Ben sharing his heart with her, and she with him. Snapshots of laughter and innocence and promises that lay ahead. But none of the memories was the one she’d hung onto these past years. Her eyes flew open as frustration swept her. “I can’t remember. Can we be done with this?”
Dr. Camas remained still, his eyes connected with hers. “I think you remember more than you’re willing to admit. Try harder, Maggie. Let’s lay it out so we can take it apart and figure out where the hate comes from.”
A gnawing feeling ate at Maggie’s gut, and she wondered if she’d be sick again before this session was finished. She did hate Ben, she had every right. But until she finished this … this game or whatever it was, she couldn’t move on. Gritting her teeth, she thought back once more—and this time she could hear her voice.
“How come you always talk about God’s plans for your life, Ben? How do you know He has plans for you?” She’d been playing with him, baiting him to see what he was really made of.
“It’s true, Maggie. The Bible says so right in Jeremiah and probably a dozen other places, too. That’s why I’ve never wanted to get too serious with anyone.”
“I don’t get it.”
Maggie could hear her response as clearly as if she had tape-recorded the conversation years ago and now had the opportunity to play it back over loud speakers.
She remembered the words … heard them again … and froze. No … no! That’s not how it was. Maggie squeezed her eyes shut. Her heart and mind went blank … and cold. “I’m finished, Dr. Camas.” She rose, wringing her hands and biting fiercely on her lower lip. “I need some air.”
Before Dr. Camas could speak, Maggie rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind her, certain that if she’d stayed in the office another moment she would have suffocated and died.
27
Alfie and Mike were in a panel van looking very much like repairmen resting between calls. It was the perfect cover. Earlier, Mike had gone into the office asking for Kathy Garrett, just like the boss wanted. When the clerk returned with a gentle-looking woman in her forties, Mike stood and approached her. “My name’s Harry Bedford. We have a four o’clock appointment.”
The Garrett woman had looked at him strangely. “Bedford? There’s nothing on my calendar about it. Are you sure you made it with me?”
Mike forced a grimace. “I thought so. Wife and I are interested in adopting a child from the inner city. That’s your specialty, right?”
A knowing look filled the woman’s face. “No, I handle foster children. I think you’re probably looking for the downtown office.” She scribbled something on a slip of paper. “Do you know that area?”
Mike took the piece of paper and began backing away. “Like the back of my hand. Thanks a lot.”
Now he was sitting in the parking lot with Alfie, frustrated that the job was taking longer than he thought. They had business to do back at the warehouse and women lined up for later that night.
“I’m hungry.” Alfie had finished off a bag of chips and two sodas.
“You’re always hun—”
“Hey,” Alfie cut him off. “Is that her?” He nodded toward a woman leaving the building. She was alone and headed for a blue sedan.
“Bingo.” Mike started the engine. Good. We’ll follow her home, get the news to the boss, and be home in time for the party.
In the seat next to him, Alfie picked up the cell phone and tapped in a series of numbers. There was a pause. “Boss, we got her.” Alfie gazed through the windshield at the woman as she climbed into the sedan. “Yep. She’s getting in her car right now. We’ll let you know where she lives as soon as we get there.”
Kathy Garrett made her way home more quickly than usual. So much had happened, she could hardly wait to tell Amanda.
God, You are faithful beyond anything, beyond anyone.
The fact that she had just located Amanda’s mother by means of a man who stopped in her office on a whim was nothing less than an answer to the child’s prayer. Kathy was sure of it. She pulled into her driveway minutes later and bounded lightly up the steps. “Kids, I’m home.”
A chorus of voices greeted her from various parts of the house. The older children were always so good with the younger ones, and Amanda was no exception. She was probably caught up in a checkers match with Jenika, their oldest.
Kathy hung up her coat and unwrapped her scarf. It wasn’t quite Thanksgiving and already it felt cold enough to snow, but no chill could dispel the warmth that radiated through Kathy at that moment. She made her way into the den and found the girls. For the first time her heart ached at the news she was about to share.… it might mean saying good-bye to Amanda for good. She swallowed a lump in her throat and smiled at the child, sitting cross-legged on the floor with Jenika. “You girls have a good day at school?”
“I need help with my math.” Jenika made the announcement and then looked up and grinned. “Other than that it was great.”
“Betsy didn’t sit by me today because she said she’s going to Elle’s sleepover on Friday and I can’t come.” Amanda’s eyes looked sad.
“Did you work it out?” Kathy was impatient to get past the small talk. None of it’s going to matter in a minute, Amanda. Your prayers have been answered! I’ve found your mommy!
Amanda shrugged and the corners of her lips turned slightly upward. “We played together at second recess, so I guess so.”
“That’s good.” She paused. Give me the right words, Lord. Please … What she was about to tell Amanda would change her life forever. The smallest part of her wanted to wait and keep Amanda to herself a little longer. But that wouldn’t have been fair. Besides, Amanda had been waiting too long already. “Amanda, may I talk to you for a minute?”
Jenika was five years older, but
Amanda was far more intuitive in matters dealing with Social Services. Her eyes fell and she cast a knowing look at Jenika. Kathy understood the exchange. Whenever she came home from work and needed to talk to Amanda it usually meant one thing: They’d found a foster home for her. And it was painfully obvious that Amanda hated the thought of ever leaving the Garrett home.
But this was different. So different Kathy could hardly wait to talk to the child. She took Amanda’s hand, helping her to her feet. “Come on, honey. It’s good news. Really.”
The two moved into the dining room and sat side by side at the kitchen table, their chairs angled slightly so that they could see each other. “I met someone very interesting today.”
Concern creased the corners of Amanda’s eyes and she reached instinctively for Kathy’s fingers. The child’s gaze fell and she seemed to study the way her hand fit in Kathy’s. After a moment a small tear splashed on her pant leg and when she spoke, her voice was barely audible. “I don’t wanna leave.”
“Oh, sweetie, I know.” Kathy stared sadly at the child. If only Maggie Stovall had kept Amanda from the beginning. And if Kathy had listened to her heart all those years—
“Can’t I stay with you, Kathy, please?” Amanda’s eyes begged through a pool of tears as she reached out and placed her other hand in Kathy’s, so that they both nestled in Kathy’s palms.
“Come here, honey.” Kathy felt tears in her own eyes as she pulled the child into her arms, stroking her hair and whispering, “It’s okay, baby. Everything’s going to be all right.”
Amanda paused, then pulled back, studying Kathy’s eyes. “It’s true then? You found me a foster home?”
A single tear spilled onto Kathy’s face, and she wiped it quickly with the back of her hand. “Well, actually … ” She forced herself to sound upbeat. “Actually, it’s good news.”
“Good news?” Again Amanda tilted her head. She was such a darling girl, peachy skin with only the faintest smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, and long hair that looked spun by the hands of angels. For all that Amanda had gone through, something innocent still sparkled in her eyes, and the effect only made her more beautiful.