As Thor lay in the shallow water, wondering if he was dead, he heard his own breathing echo in the blackness; water swished gently back and forth on the whale’s stomach as it moved through the sea. Thor imagined the whale swimming through the ocean, turning side to side, diving up and down. He could faintly hear all the sounds of the ocean outside, dim from here, muted.
Thor tried to stand but stumbled as the whale raced along the ocean. There came a loud gushing noise, and Thor looked up and felt a gush of water come down on his head, along with several fish flying down through the air, landing in the belly with him. Some of them were luminescent fish, and as they landed they emitted a soft glow, lighting up the whale’s belly. Thor could finally see in here, no longer in utter blackness.
A part of him wished he was. Thor looked up and was repulsed by the inner lining of the whale’s belly, skin hanging off of it in pieces, remnants of dead fish and insects clinging to it, and on its floor. Strange valves opened and closed, muscles and intestines contracted and expanded, emitting bad odors, and Thor took it all in in wonder.
Thor leaned his head back against the stomach wall and breathed deeply, exhausted; his wounds were still killing him, and he felt as if he’d come to the depths of his life. He sensed there was no way out of here; he had finally come to the end.
Thor closed his eyes and shook his head.
Why, God? Why am I being tested like this?
Thor lay there for a very long time in the darkness, and finally he heard an answer. It was a small voice, inside his head.
Because you are a great warrior. The greatest warriors are always tested the most.
“But have I not already proven myself?” Thor asked aloud.
Each time you prove yourself, you will be tested again. Each time, the tests will become greater. The more you struggle, the greater person you can become. Each test is not a difficulty—it is a precious opportunity. Be thankful for it. The more you suffer, the more thankful you must be.
Thor leaned his head back, exhausted, slipping away to the blackness, feeling his life force ebb, and he tried to be grateful. It was hard, so hard. He felt as if he’d already lived many lifetimes, and he was deeply exhausted.
There came another gushing sound, and Thor looked up and saw more water rush down into the belly of the whale, and yet more fish, along with other strange sea animals. This whale’s appetite obviously was insatiable.
With each gush of water, Thor felt the water level rising, felt it rise from his ankles to his knees as he lay along the side of the wall. There came still another gush of water, and the level rose again, now up to his thighs. Thor knew that if he did not get out of here soon, he would drown in this awful place.
Drained from his wounds, Thor could barely keep his eyes open. If he were destined to die here, he realized, then so be it. For now, there was nothing more he could do than allow his heavy eyes to close, allow himself to be carried away by sweet sleep.
Thor’s eyes opened and closed as he moved in and out of consciousness for he did not know how long. He saw flashes, memories, perhaps glimpses of the future. He saw Mycoples’s face, then Ralibar’s. He saw himself flying on Mycoples, under a perfect clear sky, Mycoples happier than he’d ever seen her. He saw them both criss-crossing each other, flying beside each other, both of them young and healthy and happy. He could feel how much they loved him.
Thor looked down into Mycoples’s face.
“I’m sorry that I let you down,” he said.
You’ve never let me down, Thorgrin. You gave me a chance to truly live.
Thor blinked and found himself standing in the skywalk, in the Land of the Druids. But this time, he was not facing his mother’s castle, but facing the mainland, walking away from the castle, his back to it. His mother, he sensed, was somewhere behind him, and yet as much as he wanted to, he was unable to look back.
“Go, Thorgrin,” came her voice. “It is time for you to walk. Alone. It is time for you to leave this place, to venture out into the world. Only out in the world, on an unknown path, will you become a great warrior.”
Thor took one step down the skywalk, then the next. Step by step, he walked alone, away from the castle, from the cliff, feeling his mother’s presence behind him but unable to turn back. He did not know where the path would take him, but he knew he was meant to be on it.
Thor blinked and found himself standing on a foreign shore with bright yellow sand, a million small stones sparkling within it. He saw a small, lone boat on the shore, and a small baby inside, crying. Thor walked over to it and leaned down, his heart pounding at the thought of seeing his son again.
He looked down and his heart lifted to see Guwayne, looking back with Thor’s same gray eyes. Thor reached out to grab him.
As he did, suddenly, savage tribesmen appeared and snatched the boy away, and turned and ran. Thor watched in horror as dozens of tribesmen ran off with Guwayne, screaming and reaching out for him.
“NO!” Thor yelled.
He tried to run for him, but he looked down to find his feet stuck in the sand.
Suddenly, the sand opened up, and Thor was sucked down into the sand, which turned to waters, and sucked back into the ocean. He sank, shrieking, lower and lower, sinking into the blackness.
Thor opened his eyes to hear another gushing of water, and he looked up to see water once again pouring down from the whale’s throat to its belly, filling it up. He looked down and saw the water was now up to his chest.
Thor, still breathing hard from his nightmare, tried to escape the rising tide—but the next gush brought the water up to his throat. Thor realized that his time here was scarce. In a few moments, he would drown.
Thor closed his eyes and thought of Gwendolyn, of Guwayne, of all those he’d known and loved. He thought of his son, needing him; of Gwendolyn, needing him. He felt the bracelet on his wrist, and he thought of his mother, of Alistair, of Ralibar and Mycoples. No one would know that he died down here.
I must do it for them, Thor thought. I must live for them.
Thor opened his eyes and felt himself infused with a sudden surge of strength. He sensed the very fabric of this whale, could sense that they were all a part of the same universe. And that he could change that universe.
Thor closed his eyes and raised his palms overhead, and he felt tremendous heat emanating from them. Beams of light shot forth from them, into the belly of the whale, and they became like ropes, pulling Thor up, just before the next wave of water drowned him, high above the water, higher and higher. He soon dangled above the pool of water below, and as he swung there, he focused.
I command you, whale. Rise to the surface. Let me out. Because I deserve to live. For everyone I’ve ever known in my life, for everyone who ever sacrificed for me, and for everyone who I will ever sacrifice for, I deserve to live.
There came a distant roar, echoing inside the belly, and Thor suddenly felt the whale change direction, turning upward, shooting up at full speed, heading for the surface. It rose faster and faster, the lights from Thor’s palms keeping him dangling from the ceiling as he held on.
Finally, the whale broke the surface and Thor felt it rising in the air in a high arc, and then landing back on the surface, splashing, its entire belly shaking.
It sat there, still, flat on the surface of the ocean, and as Thor peered into its throat, he suddenly saw daylight. The whale opened its jaws, light flooding in through its massive teeth, and as it did, Thor released himself from the ceiling and dove into the whale’s throat.
This time the flood of waters took him back down the whale’s throat, toward sunlight. Thor went sliding along, back down the whale’s long, slimy tongue, slipping every which way.
Thor soon found himself sliding through the whale’s teeth, out of his mouth, and back out into daylight, onto the surface of the water.
Thor flailed in the open ocean, startled by how cold it was, and he reached out and grabbed onto several wooden planks of debris. As he lay there, f
loating, Thor turned and looked at the beast.
The whale stared back at Thor with its immense eye, unblinking, an ancient eye which seemed to hold all the knowledge and secrets of the world. It remained there, floating on the surface, examining Thor as if he were an old friend.
Finally, without warning, it lowered its head and dipped below the water, disappearing just as quickly as it had appeared. Thor was rocked by the waves left in its wake.
Thor, all alone again, floated there, exhausted, bent over the piece of debris. He looked out to the ocean hoping to see someone, something.
But there was nothing. He was all alone again, alive, but floating into nothingness, with no land in sight.
*
Gwen remained at the bow of her ship, even as it turned around, unable to pull herself away. She did not know that Thor was out there, that was true, and yet, somehow, heading south back toward where they had last seen the Empire fleet had made her feel better, as if she were getting closer to where she had last seen him. Maybe all the others had been right: maybe Thor was not there at all. Maybe, even, she hated to think, he was dead.
But as they sailed away, Gwen could not ignore her inner instinct, could not ignore that small, irrational part of herself that insisted that Thor was alive, that he was out there, that he was waiting for her. She felt as if she were leaving the last great thing in her life behind. It made no rational sense, but something inside was screaming at her, telling her that she was making a mistake.
It was telling her to turn around.
Gwendolyn, the only person left still facing the rear, standing there, clutching the baby, watched the debris bobbing in the waters. There was no sign of Thor anywhere, only black clouds looming on the horizon, getting closer and closer, and the endless ruins of what had once been the Empire fleet. Still, she realized, sometimes she just had to follow her instinct, however crazy, and do things that made no sense.
“Turn the fleet around,” Gwen suddenly commanded Steffen, surprising even herself.
Steffen stared back at her, eyes wide open in shock.
“Did I hear correctly, my lady?” he asked.
She nodded.
“But why?” Kendrick asked, coming up beside her, concern etched across his face.
“I cannot turn my back on Thorgrin,” Gwen said. “I sense that he’s out there. I sense that he needs me.”
All the others were now standing beside her, looking at her as if she were mad.
“Our people are desperate, my lady,” Kendrick said. “We may not find land for who knows how long. If we turn back for Thor, who might not even be there, then we might all die trying.”
Gwen faced him, her expression hard.
“Then we shall die trying.”
Kendrick lowered his head, silent.
“Anyone who wants to leave us,” Gwen said, her voice booming, “can join the other ships and leave us. I am turning this ship around.”
Her men all stared at her, silent, in shock, then finally they broke into action.
“Turn her around!” one sailor called out.
His called was echoed up and down the line, and soon sails were hoisted, and turned, and Gwen felt the huge ship turning back around. She immediately felt better as it did, felt a rock lift from her heart.
“My sister, I am glad you trusted your instinct,” Reece said. “Even if you’re wrong, I admire you for it. I wanted to turn around myself.”
“As did I,” Kendrick added.
“And I,” came the chorus of voices.
Gwen felt warmed by their support, and they all turned back to the rail and searched the waters. As Gwen stared, she heard a screech, high up, and she craned her neck and saw a familiar bird. There was Estopheles, soaring high. She screeched, swooping down then up again; Gwen felt she was trying to tell them something.
“Follow the falcon!” Gwen yelled out.
The men changed course and followed Estopheles as she led them in a different direction, through the sea of debris, their hull clacking against all the wood.
Gwen kept her eyes fixated on the water, searching everywhere, following her heart. She closed her eyes.
Please, God. Bring him to me.
Estopheles screeched, and Gwen watched as she dove down in the distance and landed on the ocean, behind a huge pile of debris. Gwen lost sight of her.
The ship sailed for her, and as Gwen watched the waters, suddenly, she spied something.
“There!” Gwen yelled, pointing to what looked like a body.
They sailed closer, and Gwen’s heart stopped as she saw the unmistakable sight of a body draped over a pile of wood. The body floated there, and seemed cold, stiff, perhaps even lifeless. She was afraid to hope, and yet, as they got closer, the body shifted in the current and Gwen for the first time got a look at his face.
She burst into tears: there lay Thorgrin, unconscious, drifting. Gwendolyn’s heart raced; she could hardly believe it. She had been right—it was really him.
“Lower the ropes!” called out a voice.
Gwen turned and handed the baby to Illepra beside her, then was the first to rush forward, grab a thick rope, and cast it overboard as they approached. Gwen didn’t wait for the others, but jumped overboard herself, grabbing onto the rope and lowering herself down.
Gwen’s heart pounded as she got closer, praying that Thor was alive. She reached him and jumped off the rope, into the water, landing by Thor’s side.
“My lady!” someone called from above, and several men scurried down the rope to help.
Gwen ignored them; she swam up beside Thor, and grabbed him, shaking him. She saw he was unconscious, his lips blue. But he was breathing.
“He’s alive!” she cried out with joy.
She wept, so relieved, hugging his limp body, clutching him, not wanting to let go. He was alive. He was really alive.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Thor opened his eyes to find himself lying on his back in a rocking ship, in a dim cabin below, sunlight streaking through the slats. He felt rested for the first time in as long as he could remember, felt as if he had slept a thousand years. He felt a presence in the room before he saw it, and he squinted and looked up, and in the dim light he was overcome with joy to see a smiling face looking down on him, as a woman reached out and held his hand with the softest touch he’d ever felt. Her face so filled with love, her eyes glistening with tears, at first Thor wondered if it was just another dream.
But as he sat up, his heart lifted to realize it was not. There, before him, was the love of his life, the woman he had prayed, time and again, that he’d have one more chance to see.
Gwendolyn.
Gwen leaned in and hugged him, crying over his shoulder, and he hugged her tight. It felt surreal to hold her in his arms again. Every wish, every prayer he’d ever had, had come true. He held her tight as she cried, never wanting to let her go. He could not believe that they were together again, after all they had been through.
“You don’t know how long I’ve wished and waited for this moment,” she said into his ear, between her tears.
“I’ve thought of nothing but you,” he replied.
“I did not think you’d ever come back to me,” she said. “I only dared to dream.”
Gwen pulled back and looked into his eyes. She laid her palms on his cheeks, and leaned in and kissed him, and he kissed her back, loving the feel of her lips on his. They held the kiss for such a long time, and all of Thor’s memories of Gwendolyn came rushing back to him—the first time they’d met…their courtship…Guwayne’s birth. Thor had never imagined loving anyone as much as her, and being here with her made him feel as if he were meeting her again for the first time.
Thor also felt a new strength within him, felt himself healed from all his wounds, rejuvenated, back to himself. He had rested and recovered on this ship, and he realized that once again, his life had been saved by Gwendolyn. He leaned back and looked her into her eyes.
“How did you find me
?” he asked.
She smiled.
“It was easy,” she said. “You were floating in the sea. You were hard to miss.”
Thor smiled and shook his head, taking it all in.
“If you hadn’t come back for me, I would be dead.”
Gwendolyn smiled at him.
“And if I hadn’t come back for you, I myself would have died,” she replied.
She embraced him again, and he held her tight. It felt surreal to feel her in the flesh, to smell her scent, to feel the fabric of her clothes. For so long she’d been a fantasy in his mind, and he didn’t know if he would ever return to her.
Thor was suddenly struck by another thought.
“And Guwayne?” he asked.
He felt Gwen tightening up in his arms, and she pulled back, and his heart fell as he saw her face become drawn, pained, her eyes downcast.
She did not reply, but instead slowly and sadly shook her head, tears dripping down her face,
“What has happened?” Thor asked, worried.
Gwen burst into tears, crying for a long time, and Thor did not know what to say. His heart was pounding as he waited for her response. Was his son alive?
“The island was under attack,” Gwen finally managed to say between tears. “I was certain we would all die. I wanted to spare Guwayne our fate. So I sent him alone, into the sea. In his own boat.”
Thor gasped, shocked, as Gwen wept.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “So, so sorry.”
Thor leaned in and hugged her, holding her tight, rocking her, reassuring her.
“You did what was right,” he said. “You cannot punish yourself. It was indeed likely you would have died—as many of our people have died.”
Gwendolyn slowly calmed, and stared into his eyes.
“We must find him,” she said. “I will find him or die trying.”
Thor nodded in understanding.
“He will return to us,” he said. “What is ours cannot be taken from us.”