Since he had no friends and school was out for the summer, he spent a lot of time with both Sandra and Hank. He would help Sandra around the house with her cleaning, and Hank would play ball with him in the large backyard whenever he was off on the weekends.
“Do you like it here?” Hank asked him as they tossed the baseball back and forth one Saturday.
Nicholas wasn’t sure how to answer. He really had no complaints, but he was still lonely with no one his own age to bond with. “Yes, you and Sandra have been very nice,” he answered. He realized it sounded forced, but he was being honest. He wasn’t sure Hank would understand that as nice as they were, it would never be like a real home and family to him.
“Well, thank you, Nick,” Hank replied. “Let us know if you need anything.”
Even as shy as Nicholas was, he was ready for school to start back up. Sandra took him to the store for new clothes and school supplies the week before. It was the first time Nicholas had ever been allowed to buy new clothes. “You don’t have to look at all the price tags,” Sandra laughed as he tried to pick the least expensive clothes and shoes. “Just pick out what you’d like.”
“Are you sure?” Nicholas asked, sure that there must be some strings attached to the offer. Even after living with the Brewers for weeks, he still had a hard time trusting people in general.
“Yes,” Sandra replied. After they paid for the clothes and supplies, she and Nicholas went out to lunch…just the two of them. Frank stayed home to watch the other foster kids.
“Thank you,” Nicholas told her as they waited to be seated at the restaurant.
“You don’t need to thank me,” Sandra replied. The waitress came along and seated them in a booth, and took their drink order before Sandra continued. “We know what you went through at your old home and we just want to make sure that you have a better experience with us.”
Nicholas wanted to cry. Sandra was being so nice to him. Luckily, the waitress came back with their drinks and asked if they were ready to order.
“Do you know what you want?” Sandra asked, but Nicholas hadn’t looked over the menu yet. “Do you mind if I order for you?” Nicholas nodded his agreement and Sandra ordered the unlimited pasta for both of them, starting Nicholas off with the fettuccini alfredo and herself with the spaghetti and meatballs. “If you don’t like it, we can order something else,” Sandra promised.
“Mmmmm,” Nicholas mumbled to signal his approval of the fettuccini alfredo with freshly grated parmesan cheese on top.
“Try some salad, too. They make the best salad here,” Sandra suggested as she watched with a smile as Nicholas shoveled food into his mouth as though he’d never eaten before. She had to remind herself that he was a growing boy.
Nicholas was skeptical of a salad that contained olives, onions and peppers, but he gave it a try and loved it even more than his pasta.
“Can we come back here again sometime?” Nicholas asked when he was finally stuffed.
“Yes, honey. We can come back, maybe for your birthday,” Sandra suggested. A flash of Nicholas’ last birthday went through his mind but he quickly wiped it away.
School was a different experience than Nicholas was used to. He was a freshman which meant he was amongst the youngest students in the school. He did manage to make his first new friend, though, in his homeroom class.
Danny was also new and knew no one at the school, and had been assigned most of the same classes, so it was easy for him and Nicholas to become friends.
“Where did you move from?” Danny asked Nicholas as they ate lunch at a table alone in the cafeteria. They quickly realized it wasn’t cool to eat in the cafeteria. The only students who did were all freshman. Everyone else spent their lunch period either outside or walking the halls.
Nicholas quickly explained how he was a foster kid, but didn’t go into the details of the abuse he suffered from Mr. O’ Malley. Even though he liked Danny, he had only known him a few hours. The last thing he wanted was to have gossip about himself spread around the school on his first day, making him an outcast.
“That’s cool,” Danny said. “My dad’s in the army, so we move around a lot too.” Nicholas admired the way Danny didn’t seem to judge him.
Chapter 12
The first few months of their friendship went well for Nicholas and Danny. They hung out mainly at school, and occasionally on weekends. As winter approached, though, Nicholas noticed that Danny seemed more distant with him and wondered if he had done something wrong.
“Are you mad at me?” he asked Danny one Friday at lunch.
“No, why?” Danny asked, but he avoided making eye contact. Nicholas pressed him for answers and finally he admitted that there was something he wanted to tell Nicholas about. “Come over to my house tomorrow, okay?” Danny asked and promised he would reveal everything then.
Nicholas spent the rest of the day and night wondering what Danny would tell him the next day. That night, he cleared it with Sandra and Hank so that he could spend the night at Danny’s. “I think that would be fine,” Sandra answered. She seemed happy that Nicholas had a friend his own age.
Danny’s mother welcomed Nicholas in as Frank dropped him off with his sleeping bag the next day. “Danny’s upstairs,” she told him.
As Nicholas entered Danny’s room, he could tell his friend was nervous. “Let’s go for a walk,” Danny suggested. As they walked through a trail around a lake behind Danny’s house, both boys remained quiet.
“Well?” Nicholas finally asked. “Are you going to talk?” He didn’t want to pressure his friend but knew Danny would feel better after saying whatever was on his mind.
“It’s hard,” Danny answered.
“If you’re going to stop being friends with me, just tell me!” Nicholas said a little too loudly. He was nervous too and just wanted the conversation to finally be over with.
“I’m not going to stop being friends with you,” Danny replied, but continued. “You might want to stop being friends with me, though, after you hear what I have to say.”
Nicholas promised that there was nothing that would make him stop being friends with Danny, but it still took some time for Danny to finally open up.
“I have a boyfriend,” Danny finally blurted out, though he had to do it with his back to Nicholas.
“What?” Nicholas asked, not quite sure what his friend meant.
“I have a boyfriend….I’m dating a guy,” Danny tried to clarify. “I’m gay, Nick!”
Nicholas wasn’t sure what to think or feel. Part of him wanted to run away and have nothing to do with Danny ever again, but as he stood there and looked at the scared look in his friend’s eyes he remembered his promise. “I told you I wasn’t going to stop being your friend,” Nicholas finally said.
On the way back to Danny’s house, Danny explained how he and David met. David was a sophomore who rode the bus with Danny.
As he listened to the details of Danny’s romance, Nicholas remained mostly quiet. “Do your parents know?” he finally asked.
“No! And, you can’t tell them!” Danny answered, sounding frantic. “You can’t tell anyone!”
“Okay, okay,” Nicholas agreed.
That night, he told Danny the truth about being abused by Mr. O’ Malley. He figured if Danny trusted him with a secret, he could do the same.
“I’m sorry, you had to go through that,” Danny said once Nicholas was finished. He wanted more than anything to get out of bed and give Nicholas a hug, but didn’t want to give him the wrong impression.
“It’s okay,” Nicholas said before suggesting they turn over and go to sleep.
“Thank you,” Danny whispered after a few minutes. He wasn’t even sure if Nicholas was still awake, but it felt good to be honest and still have Nicholas’ friendship.
The next day, Danny took Nicholas over to David’s house and introduced his boyfriend
and best friend to each other.
Nicholas wasn’t sure what to expect. He wondered if David would be really feminine like the gay guys he had seen portrayed on television. David wasn’t anything like that though. He was on the football team and just as masculine, if not more, than Nicholas and Danny were.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you,” David said as he held his hand out for Nicholas to shake.
“Nice to meet you, too.” Nicholas felt a little uncomfortable, but tried to hide it. He didn’t want Danny or David to feel awkward. He didn’t really care that they were gay, although that was new to him. He felt more awkward just because he was the third wheel in the group.
To show his acceptance, he invited David to his birthday party the following weekend. “I’ll be there!” David said with a genuine smile.
On the way back to Danny’s house, Danny thanked him for David’s invite. “He’s out to his parents,” he told Nicholas. “But, I’m not ready to make the relationship public…so please don’t say anything at your party, okay?”
Nicholas had no intention of outing the couple, and gave Danny his word. “It’s okay with me that you’re gay,” also told Danny. “Just know that it’s new to me and might take me some getting use to.”
That night, the two friends made a pact to never let anything come between them.
Chapter 13
Nicholas’ birthday landed on a Saturday and Sandra and Frank threw him a party. It was more like a slumber party. Nicholas invited Danny, David and three other friends from school to stay over.
“You think this tent will be big enough for you guys?” Frank asked as he and Nicholas set up a six-man tent in the backyard. Nicholas’ party was going to be outside since the weather was unseasonably warm. Everyone agreed it would be best since there were other small children in the house that would need their sleep.
“Yeah, it’s huge,” Nicholas agreed. He was excited for his party. Frank had already built a fire pit so they could roast hot dogs and marshmallows and put out a sound system for some music. His and Sandra’s present to Nicholas was a new ten-speed bike and a shopping spree for some CDs. Nicholas was anxious to play the music he chose for all of his friends.
Danny and David were the first guests to show up, just before three. “Do you need any help getting anything set up?” they asked as they each handed Nicholas their presents.
“Thank you, and no,” Nicholas answered. “Frank and I got it everything set up.” He helped the boys in with their sleeping bags and showed them around the back yard while waiting for his other friends to arrive.
A few hours later, everyone was having fun sitting around the fire pit telling stories and listening to music. Luckily, Frank and Sandra’s closest neighbor was a quarter of a mile away, so the music wouldn’t bother anyone.
Nicholas noted that during the night Danny made a point to never sit or stand near David. If David sat down next to him, Danny would make an excuse to get up and then sit somewhere else.
“Is everything alright?” David asked Danny in a whisper as everyone was gathering on the back deck for Nicholas to open his presents and blow out his birthday cake candles.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” Danny answered, but quickly changed the subject as he pasted on a fake smile. “Let’s go…Nick’s about to open his presents!” Danny knew David was frustrated. He just didn’t want anyone to know he was gay and was afraid that David might accidentally try to hold his hand or something.
After the presents and cake, everyone retired to the tent and started spreading out their sleeping bags. As expected, Danny made sure to put his next to Nicholas’ where there was only room for one sleeping bag. With his brows furrowed, David reluctantly set his sleeping bag up on the other side of Nicholas’.
In spite of the tension Nicholas could feel coming from David and Danny, he managed to have a great time. Everyone stayed up for hours telling scary ghost stories, which made them scream and laugh.
The next morning, everyone but Danny left. Nicholas was sad to see everyone go but thanked them all for celebrating his birthday with him and for their presents. As David left, he whispered something to Nicholas, “Can you talk to him for me, please?” Nicholas promised he would.
As he and Danny took down the tent, he waited to see if Danny was willing to volunteer whatever was bothering him. When it became clear that he wasn’t, Nichols brought up the subject. “So….,” he began, “why were you acting so distant with David?”
“You know…,” Danny answered, not wanting to spell it out.
“He’s your boyfriend and you hurt his feelings,” Nicholas explained. It was a conversation he never saw himself having but he felt badly for David.
Danny admitted that he felt bad, but it was the first time he and David had been together in public and he was afraid of getting outed. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Danny asked.
“You need to explain why you did what you did and ask him to,” Nicholas advised.
“That’s not the only reason I was so distant,” Danny confessed, though he suddenly seemed more nervous.
Nicholas picked up one end of the tent as Danny picked up the other end, and headed to the shed to put it up. “What’s the other reason?” he asked his friend as he and Danny set the tent down in the corner of the shed.
Danny didn’t answer, but walked up to Nicholas and kissed him on the lips. “You’re the reason,” he answered as their lips parted. “I think I love you.”
Nicholas was stunned. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t think he was gay. He had a girlfriend before. As he was being kissed though, it was different than the kiss he shared with Tiffany. Maybe it was because he was older, but as Danny kissed him, Nicholas felt a stirring in his pants. He was aroused. He wondered if that was why he didn’t push Danny away. He was confused and had to be alone. “You need to go home,” he told his friend before running to his room.
Thirty minutes later, Sandra knocked on his door to see if he was alright. “Danny just left,” she told him. “Did you two have a fight?”
Nicholas had grown to really care for Sandra but wasn’t ready to tell her about Danny’s kiss. He didn’t want to betray his friend’s trust, and he still didn’t know how he really felt about it all yet. “I feel sick. I think I just ate too much cake last night,” he lied. Once Sandra left him alone, he replayed the events in his head. With some time, he was sure he could understand it better. He needed to figure out how to act normal around Danny the next day at school.
Chapter 14
Nicholas wasn’t able to figure out his feelings, but was in luck. Danny wasn’t in school the following morning. He figured Danny was too embarrassed to show up, so he played hookie.
At lunch, David caught up to Nicholas and asked him if he was able to talk to Danny.
“Yeah. He just didn’t know how to act around all of our friends,” Nicholas explained. “He was afraid you might accidentally out him somehow.”
“I would never do that!” David replied. His voice was angry. “I can’t believe he doesn’t trust me more than that!”
Nicholas tried to explain himself better and calm David down, but David was still upset when the lunch bell rang. “I have to get to class,” Nicholas said. “But, call him. You guys can work it out.” He said what he thought David needed to hear, but he didn’t necessarily believe his words. If David knew about the kiss he and Danny shared, he would never understand. He would leave the decision about whether or not to expose that kiss to Danny.
After he got home from school, Nicholas asked Sandra if he could ride his new bike over to Danny’s house. “He wasn’t at school today and I got his homework assignments for him,” he explained.
“Sure, just be home in time for dinner,” Sandra answered with a soft smile.
As Nicholas approached Danny’s house, he saw there were two police cruisers o
utside, and an ambulance with its lights flashing. He cautiously walked his bike up to the house, as the ambulance drove off. “What’s wrong?” he asked Danny’s parents as he looked around for his friend.
“It’s Danny….,” Danny’s mother sobbed. She was shaking and had a lost and confused look in her eyes.
Nicholas didn’t understand. “What’s Danny?” he asked, but when no one answered, he ran past them and ran into the house.
“Son, you can’t go in there,” a police officer told him. From the conversations around him, he pieced together that Danny hadn’t gone to school that morning and had instead taken a handful of pills and took his own life.
Danny’s father stopped him as he walked back to his bike. “Do you know why he would do this?” he asked. “Did anything happen at your birthday party?”
The only think in the world that Nicholas wanted to do was ride far away from Danny’s house, but he felt he owed Danny’s parents some answers. “He was gay,” Nicholas attempted to answer, though the words barely creaked out of his dry and horse mouth.
“What?” Danny’s mom asked. It was the first time she seemed coherent of what was actually going on.
“I said Danny’s gay…or was gay,” Nicholas repeated, the harsh reality finally hitting him fully. His best friend was dead and he felt responsible.
He explained how Danny and David were dating and all that happened both at the birthday party and the next day. “I’m so sorry,” he cried. “It’s all my fault!”
“It’s not your fault, son,” Danny’s dad told him with a hug. He left Danny’s parents sitting on the front steps of their porch, crying and consoling one another.
He didn’t realize it, but as he rode his bike back home, he didn’t stop. He just kept riding. The only thing he could see was Danny’s face, and the kiss, and how he left his friend standing alone in his shed.
His heart felt full of pain. He pedaled harder, hoping that the speed would erase all of the hurt. Everyone he had ever loved, he had lost. He was determined never to let anyone get close to him again.
To Be Continued…
Make sure to read “A Home for Christmas”, the second installment in the “Nicholas Chronicles” series to find out what happens next.