CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Godfrey sat before the bar in the small tavern early in the day, the drinks already getting to his head. This had been the worst week he could remember. First, there was his father's death and funeral; then, there was his brother Gareth's crowning ceremony. He needed a drink. After all, what better way to toast a brother he hated? What better way to say goodbye to a father who had hated and disapproved of him his entire life?
As Godfrey sat there, flanked on either side by two of his drinking fellows, Akorth, a towering, burly fat man past his prime, with a wild red beard, and Fulton, a thin, older man with a voice that was way too raspy and a face prematurely aged by drink, Godfrey found himself surprised by his own feelings of despair. He had always thought that the day his father died would be a day of rejoicing, the day that the oppressor had finally been lifted off his shoulders, the day that he was finally free to drink, to live his way of life, without repercussions. In a way, it was. He felt some sense of relief, of liberation, no longer having his father around to disapprove of him. He felt freer to spend his life as he wished, to drink all day long without fear of recrimination.
But at the same time, to his surprise, he felt an unexpected feeling of remorse. There must have been something deep within him, something he had suppressed, something even he didn't realize, which bubbled up within him. He could hardly believe it, but he had to admit that a part of him was sad that his father was dead. A part of him actually wished he were still alive, and wished, more than anything, that he could have his approval. That just for one moment, his father would accept him for who he was, on his own terms. Even if he were nothing like him.
Oddly enough, Godfrey did not feel free, either. He had always expected that the day his father died, he would feel free to drink even more, to lock himself in the tavern with his friends. But now that he was dead, oddly, Gareth no longer felt as much of a desire to drink. There was something inside him he had never experience before, some desire to go out and do something. Something responsible, he did not know what. It was weird, but there was a part of him that actually felt what it was like to be in his father's shoes.
"Another!" Akorth shouted to the bartender, who hurried over with three new casks of ale, the foam bubbling over, and slipped one into Gareth's hands.
Gareth lifted it to his mouth and drank long and hard, gulping it all down, feeling it rush to his head. He looked around and noticed that they were the only three in the bar, and he was not surprised, given it was still morning. He already wanted this day to end.
Gareth looked down, saw the soil on his shoes from his father's burial, and felt the sadness re-igniting within him. He could not get the image out of his head of his father's body being lowered into the earth. It made him think of his own mortality, of how he had spent his life, and how he would spend the rest of it. More than anything, it made him realize how he had wasted his life. He was still young, only eighteen, but a part of him felt it was too late, that he was who he was. Was it, really? Or was there still any hope for him to turn his life around? To become the son his father always wanted him to be?
"Do you think it's too late for me?" he asked Akorth, turning towards him as he set down his cask. Akorth finished a cask with one hand then raised a fresh cask with another. He finally set it down and let out a loud belch.
"What do you mean?"
"To become an upstanding citizen. A warrior. Or anything worthwhile. If I ever wanted to. Something along those lines. "
"You mean, do something responsible and worthwhile with your life?" he asked.
"Yes. "
"You mean, to become one of them?" Fulton chimed in.
"Yes," Godfrey said. "If I wanted to. Do you think it's too late?"
Akorth let out a huge laugh, shaking the bar with it, slamming his palm on the table.
"All this business really got to you boy, didn't it?" Akorth bellowed. "It scares me to hear you speak this way. Why would you want to be one of them? I couldn't think of anything more boring. "
"You live the good life in here, with us," Fulton said. "We have our whole lives ahead of us. Why waste time being responsible, when you can waste time drinking?"
Fulton screamed with laughter at his own joke, and Akorth joined in.
Godfrey turned back, looked down at his cask, and wondered if they were right. A part of him agreed with them: after all, that was the line he had always taken, the way he had always rationalized his existence. But he could not deny that a new part of him was starting to wonder if maybe there was something else. If maybe he'd had enough of all of this.
Most of all, what burned inside him was a sense of anger. And, oddly, a desire for vengeance. Not just against his father, but against his father's killer. Maybe it was just a desire to understand. He wanted - he needed - to know who killed his father. Who would want his father dead? Why? How had they got past all the guards? How could they not remain caught?
Godfrey turned over and over in his mind all the possibilities, all the people that might want him dead. For some reason, he kept thinking of his brother. Gareth. He kept thinking of that meeting, the one he had left so abruptly, with all his siblings, when his father had named a successor. He had heard that after he'd left, his father had named Gwendolyn. It was actually probably the only wise choice of his father's life - and probably the only thing Godfrey respected him for. Godfrey despised Gareth: he was an evil, plotting schemer. It was the wisest thing his father had ever done to cut him out of kingship. And yet now, look where they were. Gareth was crowned.
Something tugged away at Godfrey, something that would not disappear, that made him wonder more about him. There was some look of hate in Gareth's eyes, something he had spotted since he was a child. He couldn't help but wonder if Gareth had something to do with their father's murder. In fact, a part of him felt sure that he did. He did not know why. And he knew that no one would take him seriously, he, Godfrey, the drunk.
Still, a part of him felt compelled to find the answer. Maybe if for no other reason than to make amends to his father, to make up for his wasted life. If he could not have his father's approval in life, perhaps he could gain it in death.
Gareth sat there, rubbing his head, trying to think, trying to get to the bottom of something. Something weighed on the dark corners of his consciousness, some message, persistently nagging at him. It was an image; maybe a memory. But he could not recall precisely of what. He knew, though, that it was important.
As he sat there, racking his brain, drying to drown out the laughter of the others, suddenly, it came to him. The other day. In the forest. He had spotted Gareth. With Firth. The two of them, walking. He remembered thinking at the time that it was strange. And he remembered that they had no answer for where they were going, or where they had been.
He suddenly sat upright, electrified. He turned to Akorth.
"Do you remember the other day, in the wood? My brother, Gareth?"
Akorth furrowed his brow, clearly trying to summon it through his drunken haze.
"I remember seeing him walking with that lover boy of his!" Akorth mocked.
"Hand-in-hand, I suspect!" Fulton chimed in, then burst into laughter.
Godfrey tried to concentrate, in no mood for their jokes.
"But do you recall where they were coming from?"
"Where?" Akorth asked, perplexed.
"You asked them, and they didn't tell you," Fulton said.
An idea was solidifying in Godfrey's brain.
"Odd, isn't it? The two of them walking there, in the middle of nowhere? Do you remember what he was wearing? A cloak and a hood on a hot summer day? Walking so fast, as if he was heading somewhere? Or coming from somewhere?"
Godfrey was convincing himself as he spoke.
Akorth looked at him, puzzled.
"What is it you're trying to put together?" he asked. "Because if you're asking me to figure it out, you've come to the wrong man, my friend. I wo
uld just tell you that if you want to get to the bottom of something, drink another ale!" he shouted, and roared with laughter.
But Godfrey was serious. He was focused. This time, he would not be distracted.
"I think he was going somewhere," Godfrey added, thinking out loud. "I think they were both going somewhere. And I think it was with ill intent. "
He turned and stared at his two friends.
"And I think it has something to do with my father's death. "
Akorth and Fulton finally stopped and looked at him, the smiles dropping from their faces.
"That's quite a leap," Akorth said.
"Are you accusing your brother and his lover of killing the King?" Fulton asked.
The bartender stopped in his tracks and stared, too.
Godfrey sat there, working it out, his mind reeling, feeling electrified, feeling a sense of purpose, of mission. It was a feeling he wasn't used to.
"That is exactly what I'm saying," he finally responded.
"That's dangerous talk," the bartender warned. "Your brother is king now. Someone hears you say that, you can go to the clink. "
"My father is King," Godfrey corrected, steel in his voice, feeling himself overcome with a new strength. "My brother Gareth just had a crown put on his head. He is not a king. He is a prince, just like I. And a failed one at that. "
The bartender slowly shook his head and looked away.
"Where were they going? What is out there, in that wood?" Godfrey asked Akorth with a sudden urgency, grasping his wrist.
"Calm down, my good man, there's no need to get upset - "
"I said, what is out there?" Godfrey demanded, shouting.
Akorth stared back at him with a look he had never seen before. One of shock. And maybe, even, of respect.
"What's gotten into you? I don't have answers for you. I have no idea. "
"Wait a minute, there is something out there," Fulton said.
Godfrey turned and looked at him.
"Not there, exactly. But near there. Blackwood. A few miles away. There are rumors of a witch's cottage. "
"A witch's cottage?" Godfrey repeated, slowly. The thought of it hit him like a spear.
"Yes. So the rumor goes. Do you think that's where they were going?"
Godfrey stumbled up from his barstool, knocking it over, and hurried across the room. His two friends jumped up, too, hurrying after him.
"Where are you going?" Akorth called out. "Have you lost your mind?"
Godfrey yanked open the door, the harsh morning light hitting his face, making him feel alive for the first time in he did not know how long. He stopped and turned and looked inside the ale house one final time.
"I'm going to find my father's murderer. "