"Are you okay?"
His gaze roved over her face, her mouth, as if he was learning her all over again. She realized he wasn't wearing his sunglasses, and wondered what the old lady feeding the birds had thought.
"I don't think she could see very well. It does not matter, anyhow. As you said, humans will explain away anything they don't understand. Since most of them forgot the Mountain Battle, my eyes are a small thing."
She shifted to her hip and he surprised her when he lifted an arm and laid it around her shoulders, scooting her in closer against the morning chill.
"I don't want to go back," he said at last. "But that place they kept me while you were unconscious, it was like the Dark One world, but different. I fit there."
Hell. Lex wanted to deny it, insist he belonged in a world of light with her, but she remained silent, let him speak his peace.
"In the shower, I was thinking of everything that has happened. Not just the dangerous things, like the woods or the being that Reba saw while we were in the tank. I have been thinking of the things you have tried to show me, teach me. I thought as you did, that it was only a matter of time, but this is not the world I knew, where adaptation is about surviving, fighting. Here it is about living. Trusting." He met her eyes. "You have said that to me, several times. There are many things that I don't understand, that I'm not ready to accept. I was in an entirely different world for decades, as you said."
He gave her a bleak look, for him an almost vulnerable expression, one that shocked her. "In Hell, I will pose less of a danger. Make a more gradual introduction to your world. This will be less difficult for you."
"You aren't difficult," she said immediately, but he shook his head, squeezed her hands to bid her silent again.
"I have no wish to be your burden, Alexis. You say you are mine, my mate, my lover. To be that, I need to become something in this world. I have asked you several times why you helped me, do you remember?"
When she nodded, he glanced back at the birds. "Even at the beginning, when it was clear I was the one who'd kidnapped you, the first thing you did in the Dark One world was beg me for help. You see a part of me that is closed to my own eyes. This morning, watching you sleep, I finally realized that you have been telling me the truth about why you helped me. I just don't know enough to understand that part of you, and I could hurt you very badly in the process of trying to understand."
"You won't."
"Yes, Alexis, I would." He gave her a level glance. "For so many years, I just wanted away from one place, more than I cared about belonging anywhere else. And now I find that this is supposed to be my home, my mother's world, and it is a home that may not want me. I could carve myself a place here with blood and fear, but that is what I left. I want to know something different, but I do not yet know how to be different. You've shown me what is possible, but I must learn that road. What I want seems to be within my grasp, but it's a puzzle I cannot comprehend. So though I hold it in my hand"--his fingers tightened on hers--"I'm not sure I will obtain it."
She studied him, sitting so still, his back against a tree. He was a shadow in the night, something that most would miss, or when discovered, would strike terror into the heart of an unwitting pedestrian or early jogger. "Dante," she said quietly. "I've asked you before. We all have, but I'm asking you to tell me. What do you want?"
She wasn't sure if he'd answer, but then she was stunned to feel a door opening inside him that wasn't anger, but something far stronger. Something even her empathic senses hadn't felt because of how tightly it had been locked within him. It could implode if not handled gingerly, a nuclear bomb that would cause his cells to devour one another rather than reveal the secret they kept.
"Just this," he said at last. His tortured voice brought tears to her eyes. "I want this, Alexis. The ability to sit beneath a tree, smell grass, hear birds. Go to sleep and not have to stay on the edge of waking, prepared to fight for my life. I want to see and do the things you've done all your life and taken for granted because they were always there. Gifts you never think of as gifts because you've always had them, like the ability to breathe.
"I have done everything your father accused me of. And I would do it all again, just to have this," he gestured. "The ability to sit under a tree without fear. Without the stench of sulfur and blood in my nose." He stared back out at the night. "If they weren't going to let me have that, I was prepared to fight them, destroy whoever I had to destroy, but I'd turn this world into the one I left." His gaze shifted to hers. "I don't want your world to become that, even if I'm not allowed to be a part of it. The angel and witch want to send me back to the Dark One world. Before I found out about our marks, I would have preferred death to that."
"No." She gripped his arm. "You can't--"
"Would you want to live in that world, Lex? Would you want anyone you care about to be imprisoned in that world?"
"I wouldn't want an enemy in that world," she admitted. He nodded.
"I should go back to Hell, stay there for a while. If I cannot prove myself, then they can imprison me there if they feel they must. Because of our bond, I think they will agree to that. Then I will be in your world, the world of my mother, even if they never trust me enough to release me."
"Dante." Alexis firmed her chin. "It's way too early for this talk, you know? You really--"
A shadow crossed his face, a real one, at the same moment that odd feeling returned, strong enough to make her gasp. "Dante--"
Jerking her to her feet, he shoved her away from him, making her stumble over the tree's roots and fall to her knees. Before she could cry out in surprise, a net had fallen over him. Silver and gold strands, an enchantment. Alexis scrambled up and lunged forward, trying to yank it off him. As Dante fought it, she smelled singed skin, saw his fingers burn from the contact.
It didn't cause her harm, though. She threw herself at it, frantically seeking a way to lift it. Pyel, help! Marcellus, David, please help us.
She was grabbed from behind and flung back. Dante roared as she hit the ground hard. As she rolled, she came back to her feet and caught a glimpse of three creatures. Leather wings, long golden white hair, sharp eyes, long noses and a flash of pale skin were brief impressions as she launched herself at them, snatching up a rock. "Let him go."
Alexis, don't.
But she didn't heed Dante. The nearest creature turned, catching her wrist and snapping the rock out of her hand with one effortless move. "You are not part of the evil," it said in a voice like the music of wind and stream, of deep earth. She felt only calm impassivity, nothing else. "You are unwise to help him."
"Let him go." Struggling, she settled for a sharp kick that earned a grunt. A backhand sent her spinning through the air. Landing hard on the ground, she skidded several feet. She had time to think that she'd been sent flying through the air way too many times this week before the second creature was upon her. While he held her down, the net tightened into a ball, drawing Dante into a painful fetal position, rendering him even more helpless.
He'd been in this place before. His mind was shredding itself, trying to get around it, and she screamed at the torment of it. It shattered her filters, took her down into the madness of his mind. I'd rather die than go back to that.
"Who are you?" she wailed.
"We are the protectors of the Fen," the winged creature holding her said, studying her with ruthless detachment. "You are not part of this. Evil will answer for murder."
"Wait. You can't. He's--"
"It's irrelevant," the being said. "Good-bye."
A flash of light flooded the glade. Straining through that conflagration of Dante's rage and emotions and her own aching body, Alexis saw a silver-white portal open, felt the wild spiraling wind of it lash out and drive her back to her knees, even as she struggled to go forward. Dante's gaze met hers. The look in his eyes tore her heart from her. His fear and rage were soul deep. He couldn't be bound and made helpless again. He couldn't. He'd destroy everyth
ing around him if he had to. The collar would burn through his throat, taking his head long before he would ever stop fighting.
I'll find you. I promise, I'll find you.
Gripped by the sheer chaos of his mind, she was frozen by the sound of his voice, calm and dangerously impassive, devoid of emotion. Let me go, Alexis. You have done enough. Thank you. If they kill me . . . I'm sorry for binding you to me.
"I'm not," she shouted over that wind. But she wasn't sure if he'd heard her, because he was gone. She stumbled forward into the energy chasm left behind, a dead space that spread through the glade and dropped her to her knees.
She propped herself on one hand, but before she could attempt to scramble to her feet, a different energy invaded the glade, fierce, familiar and warm at once, accompanied by the rushing sound of multiple wings. Jonah's hands were on her shoulders. As she spun around to stare up into his stern warrior's face, she couldn't stop the tears. Dante was gone, but his emotions were still with her, tearing her apart inside.
She had no idea where he was, only the lingering certainty that the odd winged creatures meant to kill him . . . or worse.
Twenty-eight
"PROTECTORS of the Fen. You're sure that's what they said?"
Lex nodded mutely. They'd brought her to the Citadel in Machanon, the third level of the Heavens. From the parapets, she could see Eden in the distance, and focused on the rainbow that was always there, though sometimes its position shifted or the colors sparkled at different intensities.
Using the mark, her empathy, the crushing emptiness inside of her that gnawed, a terrible emotional hunger, she kept reaching out as far as she could for any sense of him. Once, a long time ago, she'd had a brief crush on one of her father's Legion captains. She'd been eleven, but she remembered how it had felt, realizing he would only ever see her as a child. While she could look on it now with the indulgence of an adult, she remembered the relentless agony of unrequited love to a girl just discovering adult feelings. This was that, multiplied by a thousand. She wondered that she could even breathe.
Her father caught her shoulders, turned her away from the view. "Alexis," he snapped in a voice that should have made anything tremble, even herself. From a far distance, she noted how tight with worry his face was.
You kill him, she dies. Mina's words.
Evil will answer for murder. The Fen protectors.
Her life might be about to be cut short, but that was hardly important. What was important was for the pain to end. She couldn't bear his pain. If he was destined to die, she hoped they did it quickly, and did not torture or restrain him. She couldn't even think of that. Her body jerked, a near convulsion that was somehow comforting.
"Alexis," Jonah repeated. This time the thunderous tone sent a tremor through the Citadel walls. Clouds began to darken above them. Several of the Legion glanced up and Alexis vaguely noted Raphael murmuring to Marcellus. The captain nodded, glanced at David, who stood at Raphael's shoulder, and was gone. The healer drew closer.
Jonah's grip was painful, bruising. So powerful. She'd thought he could protect her from anything. She'd therefore longed for adventures, the occasional thrilling brush with danger. This was the reality of it. Blood, violence, the fear in her father's gaze that he might lose her. The same fear she nursed about Dante. This was the type of violence and fear her father had faced for well over a thousand years.
She wanted to tell him she understood, but even now, she probably didn't. How could she understand the vast nature of his losses, what he'd seen, when just a brief exposure to the Dark One world and the idea of losing Dante, someone she'd barely met but had bonded with so quickly, made her feel like curling up and dying?
Marcellus had returned, and suddenly there was a very different presence amid all the angelic auras around her. Her mother, accepting a cloak to wrap around her now human form. Alexis was aware of her speaking to her father, and then she stepped in front of him to face her daughter.
"Alexis," she said sharply. "If you want to save him, you have to help us."
Help Dante. Save him. She could save him. Anna had saved Jonah. The daughters of Arianne . . . they were always called to do extraordinary things. They could do extraordinary things.
Alexis blinked, and her hands shot up, clutching Anna's forearms. She struggled through that bereft feeling. "Help him? We can help him?"
"Yes." Anna's brow furrowed, and she touched her daughter's face. "I know it hurts, dearest, but you are very strong. Push aside the emotions, whatever it is that is interfering with your ability to think. Stop thinking about what might happen, and focus on what can happen. We need your help. Pay attention to your father. Use your filters. Get them back."
Alexis remembered other times when, learning to control her gift, she'd gotten lost just like this, overwhelmed by everything around her, her filters cast aside, like tools she didn't know how to use. But she did know how to use them, even with the new factor of the vampire's mark. Though it was like tearing dried cloth off a bloody wound, such that she let out a desolate cry that startled the angels, she lunged for that self-control inside of herself, pulled the filters back to her as if through quicksand, an effort that brought tears rolling down her cheeks, but she did it. They snapped in place, though she panted at the effort.
Straightening, Anna turned back to Jonah, nodded. Drawing a deep breath, he knelt by his daughter, the difference in height enough he was almost even with her gaze. "Alexis, the Fen are a simple people, in a world far from this one. They don't even have writing or reading skills in their societies yet. In fact, they would remind you of our Neanderthals. What is Dante's connection to them?"
Oh, Goddess. "He sacrificed one. He used her blood so you couldn't retrieve me until he released me. But I just saw the one . . ."
Lex faltered, remembering all that blood in the circle, blood that had been there before she arrived, before she saw the first sacrifice.
In contrast to her earlier catatonia, now she couldn't bear to be frozen in one place. Pushing off from the wall, she walked rapidly along the parapets, needing air, needing open space. Alexis rubbed her brow. Dante had been planning his escape for twenty years. At what point had he discovered he could make a dream portal work with humanoid blood? How many failures had he had, seeking the right combination of magic and sacrifice? And then there was the rift through which he sent his Dark Ones to retrieve them. Perhaps he'd further strengthened that opening the same way.
"He may have sacrificed dozens of them," she said dully, staring out at the blue sky. Her mother was beside her again, her father a silent presence a few feet away. "They'll hurt him, then they'll kill him."
"Not if they know an innocent's life is bound to his. Not if these protectors are like us." Marcellus spoke now, moving to join them. "We can promise them that he will be imprisoned here, subjected to the punishments of Hell for however long is necessary."
Alexis closed her eyes. "He was willing to go back and stay in Hell until he learned how to be safe, how to get along in our world. So he wouldn't hurt me or anyone else by accident. We talked about it, just before he was taken."
But you can't imprison or torment him. You just can't.
"If these protectors are like us"--Marcellus turned his attention to Jonah--"can you petition them for an audience on his behalf?"
David, leaning against the turret, straightened then, eyes thoughtful. "There's wisdom in that, Jonah. They are kin, in a sense, though we don't know much about them beyond their function to protect the Fen. I can see if Mina can figure out where they are and communicate with them, find a way to their world."
The pavilion shuddered, a breeze gusting across the battlement, rippling feathers and lashing Alexis's hair across her face. She pulled it back in time to see the angels scatter with the ease of long practice, making a space for Mina to arrive in a flash of fire. Unlike the other angels, David had not moved. She materialized so close to him, several of his feathers ignited. He gave her a deprecating look,
dousing them with a pinch of his fingers. She responded with a saccharine baring of her teeth, then turned to Jonah. "Already done. The one who fulfills your role in the Fen world is named Seneth. I've explained there's an innocent's life at stake, her life bound to Dante's, and he's agreed to hear your petition. If you wish to offer one."
Alexis stared at Mina. "There's more. You have more, but you don't want to say it in front of me."
"I'm sorry," the witch said briefly, then she looked back toward Jonah. "Dante's sentence has already been declared, though it will not be executed until after our petition. They had a word for it I can't pronounce, but apparently it's a ritual death, accomplished by incremental dismemberment. Portions of his limbs will be cut off each day, one portion for each life he's taken, until even the stumps were gone, and then his head will be taken and his body burned." Mina paused. "A method that can kill a vampire or a Dark One."
Alexis knew her mother's steadying presence was behind her, but she couldn't feel the hands touching her shoulders, or register what lay behind the expression Jonah sent her way.
"If your petition is not successful, there is a way to save her life."
That brought everyone's attention back to the witch. "I've figured out how to cast a lock around Dante's life essence. For time's sake, understand it this way. I'd be enclosing him in a bubble, but a very powerful, eternal bubble. If his life is extinguished inside of it, I would basically strap down the binding, lock his remains in a be-spelled container. The energy outside that containment would be unaffected. In essence, the binding he put on Alexis would not realize he's dead. Ever. As long as it held, and I am certain I can spell it to hold for her normal life span, even if it matches Jonah's."
Mina looked at Alexis then. "It's still important to make a petition. If they will not release Dante into our care, we can at least ask for the opportunity to impose this spell upon him, so that he will not take your life when they take his."
"No." Alexis spoke through stiff lips. "I won't allow it."