affected at all?"
"Because the shifts aren't always opening from the same place," I said to myself.
"Now, you're getting it."
"Then, this mean I'm not getting back home."
"Well, you're here aren't you? And we're here. That means we can still find a door back to our home."
"But what are the chances?"
"I'll be honest. It's very slim."
"As slim as finding another human I would say," Murat said. "I lost the count of doors we went through since our initial mission. But here we are. Praise Allah."
"Cute isn't he? After all this he's still a believer."
"I envy him," I said, feeling overwhelmed by all this. "Look, this is just too much to take in. And I really feel tired for some reason. Do you mind if I just take a nap."
"Yeah sure," Brandon said. "Take your time. Unless something opens right at our doorstep we'll be here for a while anyway."
I rested my back against the cave wall. Teddy was immediately on my right, resting against my arm. I lifted my arm and rested it on Teddy, the only comfortable spot. I couldn't stand crossing my arms with those things still attached to me. So it stayed away from my body, and I fell asleep the rocks digging at my back and Teddy settling in against me. The low frequency vibration it made actually made it easier to fall asleep.
Day 5
I woke up to the hunger consuming me. Teddy was awake, restlessly walking around. I walked to the fire, and Murat handed me some food without saying anything. I ate in silence, piece after piece. My hunger didn't subside. If anything, I was even hungrier.
I was on my fifth portion when Brandon and Alistair joined us. Murat was watching me with an amused look. I was bloated. I belched loudly.
"God, why am I so hungry?" I said, and threw it all up.
I looked around embarrassed at the mess I made and found the worry showing on their faces.
Teddy had bared its teeth, eyes popping up all over its face. Hunger, it struck me again. I closed my eyes to fight the urge to stuff my face with whatever I could find. It slowly fainted.
As soon as I opened my eyes, it hit me harder than before. I stared at Teddy with my mouth hanging open. It twitched under my gaze, a ripple going through its body.
"Do you feed Teddy?" I asked aloud, looking at the remains of the last portion.
"No. He gets by on his own. The food is scarce as it is," Alistair said, scowling at the thrown up food on the ground.
I put the food on the floor. "Here Teddy."
It lunged at the food, gulping it down with big bites. I looked down at it and smiled. The hunger I felt was fainting slowly. A more natural appetite for food was taking its place.
"It was hungry," I said.
"Do you want to explain what's going on here mate?"
"I- I don't know. Somehow I could feel Teddy." I put my hand on its back. "I could feel its hunger… and boy was it hungr-"
The tentacles suddenly unattached and wrapped themselves around Teddy. They pulled my palm against its warm skin. Teddy let out a cry and the tentacles untangled and wrapped around my arm again. A small, bright red hole stood in my palm with a similar one already closing up on Teddy's skin.
I could feel its- no her pain, fear and passing hunger. It wasn't as overwhelming as before. It's okay, I thought. You're safe. She ate the last piece and jumped on my lap. I put my hand on the spot and rubbed it.
"It's okay," I said.
I looked up to find them several steps back. Brandon's and Alistair's hands were uncomfortably close to their weapons while Murat was open wielding his.
"You've got some explaining to do my friend," he said.
"I- shit I don't know how to explain any of this."
"What did you to him? Let's start with that."
"Her actually," I corrected.
"What?"
"Teddy is a she."
"How could you know that?"
"How could I feel her hunger? How can I feel right now that she feels safe and is almost asleep? God, she's about to put me to sleep. I can't shield her properly."
That seemed put them at ease, but only marginally. I noticed their eyes going to my arm more than a few times.
"This somehow helped me make a connection with Teddy." I raised my right arm.
As an experiment, I willed the tentacles off of my arm. They plunged upwards, wrapping around each other forming an almost perfect tip at the end. From my wrist upwards was the business end of a spear. All three of them had their weapons out this time.
"Look," I said. I let the tentacles fall limp and wrap around my forearm again. "You have your weapons, and apparently I got one too now. Let's leave it at that for now."
Brandon was the first to take his weapon away.
"Just keep that thing away from me," Alistair said.
"Well, I'll do my best. But try to stay on my left as much as possible."
All three of them sat across from me.
"So, tell us what happened before you came here."
I took a deep breath. "Istanbul is as good as gone," I said watching Murat's face.
Day 48
Alistair got torn apart.
He was the last through the twelfth shift. I saw him stumble through, seemingly struggling against the displacement and he fell forward in pieces. What ripped him apart, what had been hunting us for weeks came crashing through, all fangs and claw. We ran as the thing continued feasting on his body.
Since then we'd been on the run, not even sure if we were being hunted anymore. Walking through hostile terrain, always on the edge. Going blind through shifts at times. It had taken its toll on all of us.
Both Murat and Brandon kept their distance from us. Teddy let out a low growl whenever Murat looked our way. Even I could feel the animosity boiling inside him. He retreated away to pray after our short food breaks. I often caught him staring at us, muttering "iblis" under his breath.
I didn't know if he meant me or Teddy. Like me, Teddy had changed too. Standing on her hind legs, she was as big as a man now. She wasn't that cute animal anymore. She was hardened during our journeys, walking with a steely tension running under her skin.
I- I didn't know what was happening to me. The changes were subtle at first, making my companions stare at me without even realizing, trying to figure out what was off on my face.
I closed my eyes feeling the suns on my skin and touched the now seamless skin running over my eyes. Not a single break, no eyelids. It still amazed me. I opened them. The skin simply made a hole for my eyes. I found them staring at me.
"We don't have any choice," I said. I picked up a stone with my feelers and threw it at the shift, just a childish reply to their rude stares. For some reason, my improved control over the tentacles unnerved them even more, probably making me look even more alien in their eyes. "And we don't have much time left."
"I know dammit," Brandon snapped. "Sorry. I agree. We have to take our chance with whatever it is on the other side."
"I say we find another one," Murat said, looking at the tracks surrounding the shift.
"It's probably long gone," I said.
Sensing my decision, Teddy got up and dived into the shift. I followed her. Murat cursed behind me, but they followed. They had no other choice.
Day 112
I killed Murat.
I had no choice.
He stumbled upon me while I was feeding. I was enjoying one of the native animals that looked vaguely like rats. I couldn't stomach cooked food anymore, so I had to skin it and eat it raw. Teddy helped me with the hunt and we shared the food.
I swore when I saw him standing there, with disgust and murder in his eyes.
"You monster." He charged at me.
Teddy met him half way before I could even think about reacting, tearing at him with her claws. Her mouth snapped inches away from his face as he flailed his arms helplessly. The short moment was enough for Teddy to deliver a mortal w
ound.
Murat lay on the ground bleeding. "I knew we should have killed you and your little beast," he said.
I willed my feelers into a sharp point.
"Damn you to hell," Murat said. He had seen me use it many times.
I found Brandon at the camp site. He was tense, his hands wrapped around his weapon.
I sat down at a comfortable distance from him. Teddy followed me. There was still dirt caked with blood on her claws. Blood dripped down to my hand from the feelers.
"Murat is dead," I said. There was no point in lying.
"Am I next then?"
I saw his hand trembling.
"Do you want to kill me too?"
"Maybe," he admitted.
"Will you try?"
"No. You're my only ticket out of here."
"Problem solved then," I said. A lame attempt at joking. I felt terrible afterwards, feeling like a monster.
To my surprise, Brandon laughed and rested his weapon on his knees.
"Just take me home. I'm really tired."
And just like that there was an old man sitting in front me. How this journey had changed us all.
I wondered how he felt sitting over there. A man -no, not a man anymore… something alien sitting across him, wrapped in tatters of clothing covering most of his body hiding god-knows-what. Eyes not blinking, mouth barely a line on his smooth face.
It was the arm I realized. It didn't only help me connect with Teddy. It took something from her as well, and changed me so I could survive. So the tentacles could survive.
"We're close. I can feel it," I said.
"How?"
I shrugged. "I just can. There will be a shift around here. I can't explain it but it feels similar. Do you really want to go back? It was pretty hairy before you guys found me." It seemed like years away.
"What else can I do?" He let the question hung there between us. There was