She could hear the music downstairs and the sound brought with memories she’d rather forget. Her coming out had been so exciting, and when her husband had locked eyes with her at her first ball, she couldn’t believe her luck. He was perfect, beautiful and he wanted her. Her.
She’d thought she was the luckiest woman in the world. How wrong she’d been. For the first year of her marriage, when they’d remained in London, things had been well enough, although far from what she had expected. They’d attended parties, gatherings. And although he’d be gone at nights, he’d always have some perfectly reasonable excuse. Or at least they had seemed reasonable to an immature girl of eight and ten.
But they’d left London, headed to some distant family home left to her by an aunt she barely knew because her husband had said he wanted to spend time with her, just the two of them…and a house full of servants, of course. She hadn’t realized until months later that the move had been to escape his debts. His true personality had come calling quickly enough. He’d grown bored and angry with no money and little entertainment. Over the years he’d found escape in his cheap ale and when the ale hadn’t help, he took his anger and frustration out on her.
But he was gone. She no longer had to worry about him. Only Nate. She only had to worry about her sudden and intense feelings for a man completely inappropriate. Another man who was too handsome for his own good. A man who was part of a world she couldn’t possibly understand, a world that intrigued, yet frightened her. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the rim of the tub. How different would her life have been had she met Nate those years ago?
Just thinking about him made her body warm in a way no heated bath could. Memories of that morning at the inn still haunted her dreams, would for years. She’d never felt an attraction like this before, not even as a young girl infatuated with her husband. But then she hadn’t truly had a connection with him. But this with Nate…this was something more. So much more. A mutual respect, a mutual connection. She craved him like some craved sweets.
“Nathan,” she whispered. “What will I do?”
The door burst open.
Beth screeched, crossing her arms over her chest.
“You’re here,” Nate said, breathless, as he surged into the room. “You’re well?”
“Of course I’m here.” Beth started to reach for her wrap, only to realize she’d expose her breasts if she did. “What are you doing here?”
He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. She’d been naked in front of him before, so why was her face flushing in embarrassment? Even as her confusion mounted, she couldn’t help but take in his appearance. While she sat naked in a tub he looked lovely in his black suit, his hair combed perfectly into place. Quite the gentleman. But it was the terrified look in his gaze that struck her. The boys. Dear God, what if something had happened to the boys?
“Nathan, what?”
He grabbed her robe and held it out. “Dress. I can’t think straight when you’re naked.”
Something was wrong. So very wrong. His face was pale, his eyes wide with anger and worry. It was the same look he’d worn when Allen had attacked them in the woods. She stood and grabbed the robe, quickly covering herself. He released a trembling breath and sank onto the edge of her bed, raking his hands through his hair.
Something had frightened him. “Tell me now…are the boys well?”
“Yes, they’re fine.” Slowly, he tilted his head back and met her gaze. “Your husband was here.”
“Christopher?” She laughed, shaking her head. Her relief immediate. Was that why he was upset? She’d thought she’d made it clear her husband had died, but obviously he hadn’t been listening. “No. He’s dead.”
“Hanna saw him.”
She shook her head again, ignoring the shiver that raced down her body. “Nate, Hanna’s a child, I’m sure she was mistaken. She had to be mistaken.” She rested on the edge of the bed beside him. “Christopher is dead. I saw his body. Meg saw his body. Grayson saw his body.”
“Beth,” he demanded, gripping her shoulders tightly. “He was there. They’re searching the grounds now, but he’s probably gone. You must accept the fact…”
His voice faded as the roar of blood rushed to her ears. He was serious. Utterly serious. Her confusion gave way to unease. Even if it wasn’t true, just talking about him made her more than ill. “I know for a fact he’s dead, Nate.”
“I understand you saw the body, but—”
“No,” she snapped, growing frustrated. Why wouldn’t he listen? “I didn’t just see the body.”
She surged to her feet and paced to her small window. She hadn’t told anyone her secret, not even Meg. Not that she didn’t trust her friend, but she didn’t want her involved. “I know because I helped carry his body to the creek where he was found.”
“What?”
The words were out. She couldn’t take them back. Beth turned to face Nate, tears burning her eyes. “She was only ten years of age, barely out of the schoolroom. I had left to go to town, but forgot my reticule. When I returned, it was to hear Lolly’s screams. When I raced into the bedchamber, when I confronted him, he wouldn’t relent. He said he was lord of the house, he could do what he wanted with whomever he wanted. He grabbed her, and pulled her toward the stairs. I fought him and he fell. He broke his neck. She was only a child. Just a child.”
Nate stood and reached out, pulling her into his arms. She hadn’t realized she was crying until she felt the dampness of his jacket. “I haven’t mourned his death. Not all. He was an evil, evil man and I was glad when he died. I don’t care if it’s a sin or not, I was relieved, so very relieved. So you see, he can’t be back. He can’t.”
His warm, solid hands stroked her back, comforting in a way she didn’t deserve. “What happened to the maid?”
Beth sniffled. “I sold what little jewelry I had left and sent her back to her home in London, afraid she’d admit the truth. I didn’t want her to hang for helping to kill a lord. And she would have. I had no idea he’d do something so heinous, no idea.”
“Beth.” He pulled back, gripping her shoulders. His gaze was serious. So bloody serious. Did he still truly believe her husband lived? That somehow she’d made a mistake? They’d all made a mistake?
She swiped at her damp cheeks with her fists. “It couldn’t be him.”
He paused for a moment as if in indecision. Finally, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a piece of folded paper. “The man handed this to Hanna.”
Curious, she took the paper and unfolded it. A drawing of her with a Wanted written across the top. The paper crinkled as her hands shook. “The man gave this to her?”
“Yes.” He reached out. “It was your husband, Beth.”
She shook her head. The paper fell from her fingers and her body began to shake so violently that she could barely stand. It was a trick. A nasty jest someone was playing on her. But it didn’t make her feel any better.
Nate tugged her close. “Shhh. Everything will be well. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“You don’t understand, Nate. It’s not him.”
“Beth, I sensed another werewolf tonight, in that garden.” He pulled back, cupping the sides of her face. “If your husband hadn’t truly been dead, if another wolf had bitten him...”
“Dear God.” She shoved away from him, stumbling back. “What are you saying?”
The grimness of his face didn’t set her mind at ease. “He might have come back as a werewolf.”
Chapter 16
Meg had told her where every guard was stationed when Beth had asked.
And that had been her friend’s mistake.
Not that Meg was stupid. Nor did she want Beth to leave. No, but she trusted Beth. She’d thought that by telling her where the guards were located, she was putting her friend at ease.
“Twenty in all,” Meg had said. “So you don’t have to worry.”
But Beth hadn’t been worr
ied. And Beth had used her friend’s trust against her. She could only pray that someday Meg would forgive her.
Beth pulled her woolen cloak close and moved off the trail and into the woods. It wouldn’t do to follow a well-worn path. She’d be caught before she left Grayson’s property. Nervous, she glanced around the dark woods, wondering over every snap of a branch, every hoot of an owl.
Fear was as cold and bitter as the night, but she didn’t dare dwell upon her feelings. Instead, she merely concentrated on putting one booted foot in front of the other. Concentrated on the crunch of the frosted grass as she stole into the trees as fast as she could. She had a couple hours before the house would wake. A couple hours before the dark would turn to dawn. A couple hours before they would realize she was missing.
And in less than a couple hours, God willing, she would be away. Away from this town where she’d arrived a girl of hope and dreams. The place where she had tried so hard to make a home. A place where her only loved ones resided.
She wasn’t sure she believed her husband still lived. How could she when she’d been responsible for his death? But even if someone was playing a nasty prank, it was obvious they would do whatever it took to expose the truth. The thought that Christopher had come so close to Hanna made her ill. The child could have been hurt, or worse. She couldn’t let that happen again. She wouldn’t place anyone in harm’s way because of her bad judgment.
Years ago she’d made a mistake by marrying her husband. A horrible, wretched mistake. But it was her mistake alone and she was the only one who should pay. And so she had packed a small bag and she had waited until the house had gone to sleep, and she had run. She had left as quickly as she could, with only that bag in hand and enough money for a coach.
She glanced up at the dark sky. Clouds drifted across a crescent moon that winked eerily above. But already on the horizon the blackness was turning to dark gray. She was running out of time. Because she’d been forced off the trail, the hike was taking longer than expected. The sudden glisten of water caught her off guard. She hadn’t expected the creek.
“Blast,” she muttered.
Had she gone the wrong way? She’d lived in the area for years, but everything was so different in darkness. Beth set her bag down and gingerly lifted her skirts. The hard dirt had given way to mud the closer to the bank she stepped. Could she cross without getting wet?
The sudden thunder of hooves startled her so that she almost stumbled back into the water.
Someone was after her.
An image of her husband’s face flashed to mind. Terror spurred her forward. Beth darted toward the creek, slipping and sliding down the bank. She knew she wasn’t thinking rationally, but couldn’t seem to stop her heart from hammering, her legs from moving.
The pound of hooves grew louder.
Hiking up her skirts, Beth raced through the creek. Who was he? She dared to glance back. A shadowed rider headed straight for her. Like a demon from hell with wings, his cloak whipped through the air. Her frantic fear made her stumble and she fell to her knees in the cold water. Weighed down by the weight of her wet skirts, she could merely sit there as the man and horse leapt over her, landing near the bank on the opposite side.
Beth cried out, covering her head for protection.
“Did you honestly think you could leave?” Nate’s familiar voice broke through the night. “And I wouldn’t notice?”
The relief she felt was immediate. Not her long, dead husband. Beth struggled to her feet, her emotions in turmoil. “You scared me!”
He was angry, she could see it in the tense lines of his body. “I can sense you, Beth, do you know that?”
She shook her head, standing there mutely as water swirled around her. What was he getting at? Why was he here? She supposed a small part of her figured he’d be relieved when he awoke to find her gone. She’d brought so much drama into his life, placed his boys in danger, even put him in harm’s way.
“I can smell your scent.” The horse shifted, but he was quick to calm the beast with a gentle pat that belied the anger coming from him. “I can practically hear your heart beat even from a floor away.”
Shivering, Beth wrapped her arms around her waist. She stood in the middle of a creek, but was barely aware. His words brought an odd ache to her chest, and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. Surely he exaggerated, but then how had he known she’d fled?
“You’re not leaving.”
“I can’t stay here,” she whispered. Why couldn’t he accept the truth? Why must he make things more difficult? “I won’t place you and the children in danger.”
“I can protect my son’s and myself.” He held out his hand. “I can protect you, if you’d let me.”
Her breath quickened and she shook her head. Tempting, so bloody tempting. “I don’t want to need you.”
“I know.” He spurred his mount forward. As the horse leapt toward the water Beth didn’t have time to run. Nate leaned over, wrapped his arm around her waist and dragged her up onto the mount in front of him.
Beth had no choice but to latch onto the horse’s mane and hold on for dear life. A selfish part of her was relieved. Relieved he was here, relieved he had arrived for her like a knight rescuing the damsel in distress. When had anyone ever rescued her? She squeezed her eyes shut and rested the side of her face against his shoulder as the mount jumped up the bank and raced through the woods.
If it was true and her husband was somehow still living, he would kill not only her, but anyone who stood in his way. She was in danger, therefore anyone she cared about was in danger. She must make Nate understand.
The horse slowed as the cottage where Nate had been locked away only the other day appeared. The horizon had turned pink, the sun would soon rise and Meg would send the household out to look for her. Nate took her arm and helped her slide down the mount’s belly, then followed.
“What were you thinking?” he demanded.
How very odd that she could feel so much for this man and his children; feel so much when she thought she’d never feel again. Her girlish fancies were certainly gone, having been murdered with her husband. But these emotions ran deeper, emotions that flooded her body, mind, soul…a tingling of awareness that she’d never experienced before.
“I won’t put you in danger,” she whispered.
He was silent for the briefest moment and it was in that moment that she noticed the shift in his hard gaze. Nate was angry, yes. But there was more in his fierce intensity, and in the dangerous glint of his eyes. There was pain, confusion and worry. Beth stiffened. Had he been worried about her? Other than Meg, she couldn’t remember the last time anyone had truly worried over her welfare.
She stepped hesitantly toward him. “Nate, be rational.”
“And what of my boys? They’ve grown to care for you,” he said gruffly. “Their mother abandoned them. How do you think they would react if you left them too?”
She cringed. She hadn’t thought about that. No, she’d only been worried about saving them from humiliation or worse when they realized their governess was wanted for murder.
“They’d be devastated. What you did was irresponsible.” He paced in front of her, his steps thunderous, agitated. “You think when life is hard you can merely run away?”
She wanted to protest, but he was right…she’d been running much too often lately. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
The words gave him pause. He stopped in front of her, his face furious and tender all at once. “Hell, what will I do with you?”
He cupped the sides of her face and crushed his mouth to hers. He kissed her like he owned her. Knees weak, Beth slid her hands up his muscled chest and around his neck. The warmth of his hard body, the taste of ale upon his lips, and the scent of soap, leather, and male upon his skin…it was like coming home. When she parted her lips on a sigh, he made quick work of thrusting his tongue into her mouth. She could forget so easily every worry, every pain, each moment of her haunted pas
t when he was near.
As his mouth moved to her neck, his hands found her cloak and undid the clasp. “You’re freezing,” he muttered.
Was she? Or was she trembling because of his touch? He wrapped his arms around her waist and under her knees and she was lifted, sodden skirts and all, into his arms. Nate carried her into the small cottage, slamming the door shut behind them with the heel of his boot.
She did not fear being alone with him. She did not worry about what little reputation she retained. She only wanted the man. Nate released his hold and let her slide down his body. She took perverse pleasure in the way her form tingled as it brushed against his.
As he began to undo the buttons of her bodice, Beth didn’t move, barely breathed, afraid if she did she would shatter the moment. She knew where this would lead and she didn’t care. It was early, most of the world still slept. She and Nate were utterly alone and she would savor this short time they had together. However much time it would be. He tugged the bodice from her shoulders and tossed it aside.
“Will I forever be fishing you out of rivers?”
Forever sounded like a long, long time. For some reason it didn’t frighten her like it should have. Could there be a forever with Nate? She dared to look into his eyes. What did he want from her? From this?
“Don’t ever leave me like that again,” Nate whispered.
Her throat grew tight with emotions she didn’t have the right to feel. “I wasn’t sure you’d notice.”
He turned her, his fingers at the buttons on the back of her skirt. It was an intimate act, something no one but her maid had ever done for her. While she’d barely paid attention to her maid, she was aware of every tiny brush of his fingers, every warm breath on the back of her neck.
“Why do you say that?” he asked.
She shrugged, feeling silly and insecure. His hands rested at her back as he waited. She had to resist the urge to sink into him, melt against his hard body. He brushed aside her hair. She felt his warm breath right before his lips pressed to her neck. Her legs practically buckled. If his hands hadn’t settled on her hips she probably would have collapsed to the ground.