“That’s sweet.” I lifted my mouth to his, but didn’t kiss him. “You’re so sweet.”
“Oh, yeah? How sweet?”
“Sweet enough that I may want to see you again.”
“You better, woman.” To stake his claim, he kissed me hard and long. Zoey finally had to clear her throat to break us apart. Still, Oren had to pat my butt and nuzzle my neck a second longer before stepping back and letting me go.
I couldn’t stop glowing all the way home.
“You’re still smiling,” Zoey said, glancing across her car at me.
With a sigh, I nodded. “I just can’t stop.”
“He makes you happy.”
I glanced at her, scowling slightly. “Well, yeah. Did you think he’d make me miserable?”
“No, but I thought you guys would...I don’t know, argue more, I guess.”
I shrugged, thinking it through. “We do...kind of. But we seem to be just as quick to make up. Disagreeing with him is like...foreplay.”
Zoey sputtered out a laugh. “Okay, that’s more than I wanted to know, but still, I’m glad for you. I hope it all comes out okay.”
“So do I.” I leaned over and slapped a quick kiss to her cheek as she pulled into my driveway. “Thank you for being the best friend ever.”
“Just take care of yourself,” she warned as I opened the door. “And call if Noel gets mad. I’ll tell him you stayed on our couch.”
I felt bad for making her lie as much as I already had, so I blew her a kiss after I slid out of the car. Then I jogged to the back door, thinking I’d be less likely to run into anyone in the kitchen than the living room.
But there Noel sat at the kitchen table, reading something on the laptop in front of him. He looked up as I eased open the door. When our gazes met, I froze.
“You’re home,” was all he said.
I came the rest of the way inside and shut the door quietly behind me. “Yep,” I answered the obvious.
“I left you about a dozen messages.”
“And I answered you.”
“All you said was, ‘I’m fine.’”
I shrugged and glanced away. “Well…I was.”
“No, you weren’t.” Clasping his hands together, he set his elbows on the table and kept watching me. The fact that he wasn’t shouting was a small miracle, but still…I didn’t really want to talk to him just yet. I needed time to prepare my words.
“Where were you?” he asked.
I snorted and shook my head. When I started for the doorway to leave the kitchen, he hopped from his chair and darted into my path.
“Caroline, I’m sorry.”
I stopped abruptly and gaped up at him, not at all expecting an apology.
He blew out a breath and spiked a hand through his hair. “Aspen told me not to ask where you stayed all night, and fuck. Here, it’s the first thing I ask. What I really want to know is, are you okay?”
Now that was completely unexpected. “What?” I had to ask, sure I’d misheard him.
He flushed. “I was way out of line last night. And I’m…you know I never meant to hurt you, right?”
I blew out a breath, realizing he was talking about my doctor’s visit. Oren had successfully made me forget it for a while. I’d even forgotten to tell Zoey about it.
Lifting my chin, I glanced into his concerned blue eyes, the same color as my own. “You didn’t hurt me, Noel. I hurt myself. I did this to myself.”
When my chin trembled, he muttered, “Shit,” under his breath and yanked me to him for a hard hug. “But I didn’t have to be an inconsiderate ass about it, and I…I’m so damn sorry, kiddo. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through.”
Well, not thinking about it had been working the best so far. But now that he was talking about it again, my eyes stung. “I just wish…” I choked out. “I wish I’d done so many things differently. I wish…”
“I know.” He stroked my hair slowly. “I feel like shit because I wasn’t there for you when you went through all that. If only I’d been there, if only I hadn’t made you feel as if you couldn’t come to me for help—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I started, but he shushed me.
“Yeah, I did. I was supposed to protect you and take care of you. Instead, I yelled at you when you told me you were pregnant. I made you—”
“Noel, you can’t take credit for everything I did wrong. I made my own decisions, and I’ve had to live with them. I’ve had to—” My voice choked up. “I deserve this, you know. I killed my first baby, I kept it from even starting its life, from taking its first breath, I don’t deserve another chance—”
“Care, don’t talk that way. Don’t—” He grasped my arms and looked deep into my eyes. “You were a scared, seventeen-year-old girl alone with no one around to hold your hand. And you’d already told me about it. That meant you were ready and willing to have that baby. I don’t think you ever planned on getting an abortion. I think that little dick’s mommy and daddy got a hold of you and intimidated you into it. They flashed a fuck load of money into your face and—”
“It wasn’t about the money. I didn’t do it for the money.” Noel nodded, believing me, so I added, “They threatened you. They said they’d hurt you, and Colton and Brandt too. You were doing so well with football, headed for the pros. And Colton and Brandt... Why should you or they have to pay for something stupid I had done?”
He snorted and shook his head. “And just how in the hell did they think they were going to hurt us?”
I shrugged. “They didn’t say, but they were rich and powerful. I knew they could if they wanted to.”
“Bastards,” he hissed.
I nodded. “Yeah. They were, but I still didn’t have to…” When my voice failed me, Noel kissed my temple.
“It’s over and passed,” he assured me. “I know it’s going to keep haunting you for quite a while, but I want you to know, from here on out, you’ll always have my support…no matter what.”
I nodded and swallowed hard. “Thank you,” I whispered. But now I felt like crap. I think I would’ve preferred it if he’d just yelled at me. Nice Noel knew how to pile on the guilt without even trying.
I hugged him because I just couldn’t look him in the eye, knowing I was keeping so much stuff from him, knowing he still wouldn’t support me if only he knew where I’d spent the night.
“Well,” I started. “I have finals to study for, so…”
“Oh, before you go.” He grabbed a slip of paper off the table. “Tad called.”
I paused and whirled back, snagging the sheet from him. “Did he? Oh, thank God.” Then I scowled thoughtfully, wondering why he’d called the house phone. “Hmm. I must’ve given him the landline number instead of my cell.”
Noel lifted an eyebrow. “Is he who you were with last night?”
The question made me stumble to a stop. “What? Good God, no.” I wrinkled my nose into a frown. “He’s in my film class. Our final is a group project, and I had to be the group leader. He was supposed to do the sound effects, and I was starting to worry I’d have to take care of it myself.”
I’d already had to take over Blaze’s job to write up the dialogue for the short skit we’d had to film. She was still pissed at me for calling her a loser at Forbidden, but it boggled my mind why she’d shoot herself in the foot and not even participate in the group project. Not only did the professor grade us, but we had to turn in reports on all the other group members too. No one was going to give her a good grade.
“So, this Tad guy isn’t who—” When I glanced at Noel and lifted an eyebrow, he paused and cleared his throat. “It’s just that you’ve been gone a lot more lately. I figured you might be…seeing someone.”
“Oh, you did, did you?”
“If you are,” he went on, emphasizing his words through gritted teeth, “then I want to meet him.”
It was obvious that Aspen had gotten to him and strongly advised him as to what he should
and shouldn’t say to me. It was kind of funny to see him hold back and not blurt out what I knew he wanted to say, but it only made me feel worse because he was being this considerate.
Still. “If I was seeing someone,” I smiled and patted his cheek, “I’d wait a good long while before letting the poor guy meet you.”
He snorted. “Yeah, probably after you’re married and pregnant with your second—”
When my face paled, he realized what he’d done. Gnashing his teeth, he closed his eyes and cursed softly. “Shit, Caroline. I’m sorry. I forgot.”
“It’s okay.” But honestly, it hurt. It hurt like hell. “I think the whole idea is going to take us all a while to get used to.” I just had to concentrate on everything else—school, my family, Oren—and I could survive this.
Noel didn’t seem to believe my forgiveness, so I hugged him tight.
“We’ll make it through this,” he told me, “one way or another.”
I was going through Caroline withdrawals.
After she’d stayed all night with me on Friday, I woke up every morning after that reaching for her. It sucked ass that she was never there. We hadn’t even been able to sneak her over for the next four nights because of her work, my work, and fucking school assignments coming due. So, not only did I just want her around, I was starting to get horny, too.
When I spotted her sitting under a tree on campus on Wednesday, wiping her hair out of her face as she read something on her phone, no way was I staying away.
“Just the woman I was thinking about,” I said as soon as I approached.
Her head jerked up, her eyes wide with surprise. After glancing around at all the passing people heading off to classes, she turned back to stare up at me. “People can see us.”
“Damn.” I snapped my fingers and winced as I plopped down next to her. “And here I thought my invisibility cloak was working today.”
She rolled her eyes. “Hardy har har. But seriously, what are you doing talking to me in public?”
I scowled. “Is talking to you in public not allowed?” To keep from reaching for her like I was aching to, I opened my book bag and dug around before pulling up a box full of Junior Mints.
“I just…I guess I didn’t expect for you to...you know...talk to me in public.”
After I opened the top of my Junior Mints, I silently offered her a handful.
A smile lit her face before she held out her palm. “Thank you.” I sprinkled a pile into her hand and then dumped some straight into my mouth.
“I talk to you in public all the time,” I told her around a mouthful.
She seemed to consider that a moment before shrugging and chewing. “I guess you have a point.”
“I know I do.” I swallowed and poured more mints into my mouth. “Now tell me what’s bugging you?”
Her gaze zipped to mine. “Why do you think something’s bugging me?”
I motioned to my own bangs. “You’re doing the hair thing.”
“Hair thing?” She shook her head, letting me know she had no clue what I was talking about.
“Yeah, you know.” I motioned with my hand again. “You always do that thing with your hair when something’s bothering you.”
Blinking, she leaned in toward me. “I do…what?”
“Never mind. Just tell me whose ass I have to kick.”
“You…” She set her hand over her mouth and just kind of stared at me with awe. Then she cleared her throat and dropped her hand as she shook her head. “No one’s ass needs kicking. I was just checking to see if my grade was posted for my filmography final yet.” She looked down at it again and pushed refresh on her screen. “You know the one I was telling you about? Where we had to do a group project and turn in a small skit. Since my group named me freaking director, I basically had to take responsibility for making sure everything got done?”
Hell, yes I remembered her telling me about it. It was the reason she hadn’t been able to come over at night more times than I liked. I nodded and motioned her to continue talking.
She blew out a breath. “Well, I turned it in yesterday.” With a soft growl, she went on. “And I’m worried as hell about our score. I still want to kill Blaze for flaking out on me. I ended up having to write the entire script because she was pissed at me for calling her a loser.”
I held up a hand. “Wait. Did you say Blaze? Is she an Alpha Delta Pi sorority girl? Really named Jan, or something like that, but calls herself—”
“Yes,” Caroline groaned out her answer with a roll of her eyes. “Do you know her?”
I bit the inside of my lip, refraining from letting it slip how well I’d once known Blaze. With a shrug, I mumbled, “You called it right. She’s kind of a bitch.”
“Kind of,” she muttered as if that was an understatement. “She told me I should cheat on Zoey with Quinn…right in front of Zoey’s face.”
Oren snorted and rolled his eyes. “Sounds about right.”
“Anyway,” Caroline went on. “The entire project has been a nightmare. Not only did Blaze ditch out on us, but then Tad didn’t get his sound effects in to me until Saturday, so I had to freaking rush to get the entire thing produced, and…”
When she looked down at her phone again, I set my hand on her wrist, stopping her. “You got an A.”
She blinked and crinkled her brow. “And you know this because…?”
“Because I know how much time and effort you put into it. No way could you get something lower, and it’s going to take forever for your grade to post, so I decided to just tell you what’ll it be. There. Now you don’t have to wait and stew.”
With a reluctant grin, she bumped her shoulder into mine. “Well, look who’s being all sweet and making me feel better.”
I motioned with my finger to quiet her. “Just keep all that sweet shit quiet. I have an asshole reputation to uphold.”
“Oh, right.” She winked and set her finger over her lips. Her lips, which looked really good. I was probably about to do something like lean in and kiss the fuck out of those luscious lips when my phone rang.
With an irritated growl, I pulled it from my pocket. My parents had been trying to call all morning. I’d probably been avoiding them for too long, so I answered.
“Hey.”
My mother’s request was short and simple, and no way could I deny her, so I mumbled out a couple okay’s, sure’s, and yeah’s before I said, “See you then. ’Kay. Bye.”
My change in mood must’ve been obvious because Caroline touched my arm, making me jump from the unexpected contact. “Hey. Everything okay?”
“Hmm.” I tried to send her a smile that said everything was just peachy, but as I looked into her concerned blue eyes, an idea struck.
“Yes!” I pointed. “You. I need you. Tonight. Do you think you could be my fake girlfriend for the evening?”
She blinked, the pause in her answer making me instantly itchy. “Your what girlfriend?” she said slowly.
With a sigh, I worked my neck around to pop it. “That was my mom. I’ve been summoned home to eat with them tonight to, you know, celebrate my graduation this weekend, or something. I really, really don’t want the usual fucking talk. So I thought if I had you by my side, they’d not hound me about...other crap and just be excited I brought a real, live girl to supper.”
Her lips tightened with displeasure. “Do you have a habit of bringing the blow-up kind to supper?”
“Caroline.” I groaned through my teeth. “This is serious. Do you think you can not be a smart-ass for three freaking seconds and say, why yes, Oren, I’d love to go with you?”
Instead, she said, “Are you sleeping with other girls?”
“What?” I shook my head, utterly confused. “What in all the shit I just said prompted you to ask that?”
“You said you wanted me to be your fake girlfriend.”
“Yeah?” I nodded, still clueless. “So?”
“So...” She frowned at me. “If I’m not a real gi
rlfriend now, then what the hell am I to you?”
My mouth opened, but no words came.
Oh, shit. I hadn’t even thought of labels and crap like that. “Uhhh...” I said, not sure how to answer.
Wrong fucking thing to say.
Caroline stuffed her phone into her bag. Zipping it shut, she surged to her feet. “You know that thing I just said about you being sweet? I take it all back.”
If I didn’t stop her, she was going to stomp off, and that would be the end of any more midnight visits for me.
“Wait.” I popped to my feet after her. “Jesus, I haven’t even thought about this shit. I’ve just been so busy enjoying what we have, I haven’t exactly stopped to pin a label on it.”
She paused, her eyes intent as she studied me. “Do labels scare you?”
Hell, yes!
I snorted. “Hell, no. I just...” I tossed out a hand. “I haven’t had a true, honest girlfriend in over four years. I...I’m rusty at, you know, monogamy and commitment and shit.”
She folded her arms over her chest and continued to stare with that stare of hers, the one that told me I was in deep monkey squirts.
I fidgeted under her inspection. After shifting my weight from one leg to the other, I glanced around the busy quad. “Should we really be discussing this so openly...around so many ears?”
Shaking her head sadly, she snorted out her disgust and started to stride away.
I was right on her heels. “I’m sorry, okay. Please, Caroline. You know I’m an ass.”
She smiled lightly. “And yet, shame on me, I keep putting up with it.”
“There’s no one else but you. You know that. I don’t know what I was thinking saying all that fake bullshit. I’ve been single so long it’s hard to remember I’m really, honestly in a relationship now. And besides, since we have to keep it under wraps and I have to act like I’m single around certain people, I didn’t know if the usual rules applied, anyway.”
She slowed to a stop before turning around, her eyes filled with torment. “Does the secrecy thing negate any chance of this being a normal relationship?”
“I don’t know.” I shrugged, worried as hell I was going to say the wrong thing, again. “You tell me.”