Chapter 11
The Future, Setbacks and Proposals
Sweet Ava and Max...
I 'm next door and I miss you both already…
I scribbled the note on the back of a used envelope, left it at the kitchen counter and snuck out of the house late Sunday morning.
“Morning.” My mother stood at the coffee pot and I pointed to it, indicating that I was in need of a very deep and full mug. She made her signature clicking noise with her tongue and poured me a hot cup. “And where’s Ava?” She looked behind me for the rest of my family and I put the mug to my lips taking a gulp and burning my mouth.
“Home,” I said and my voice was still rough and scratchy. Clearing my throat, I tried again. “She’s still home. She and Max will be here in a little while. I didn’t want to wake them.”
“It’s half past ten!”
“Don’t start, Mom. We had a bad night. We’ve had a couple of bad nights and Max and Ava are both actually sleeping without screaming so I left them alone. I didn’t want to wake them up yet.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Ari. What’s going on? Is there something I can do to help?”
“You can stop ironing our sheets -- other than that, nothing. It’s just nightmares -- both of them - all God-damn night long.”
Her face puckered in contempt at my foul language.
“I’m sorry, Ma, I can’t help it. I’m so tired.”
“Go home.” She waved her hand at the door.
“No, I promised you I would be here. Ava and Max will be over within the hour. It'll be okay.”
She pursed her lips at me.
“I want to be here. Just keep the coffee on and strong and I’ll be good.”
“Is Max speaking yet?” she asked, and I took a seat at her kitchen table.
“No.” My fingers pressed into my throbbing temple and forehead and I tried ineffectively to rub the pain away.
“Nothing at all?” Worry etched small lines around her eyes.
“He has not spoken a single word since Thursday afternoon.”
“What did the pediatrician say?”
“That Max is still pretty young and since English wasn’t his first language the docs aren’t too terribly concerned yet. But they aren’t ruling out selective mutism. We were told to give him more time and he's seeing a speech therapist this coming week.”
“What is selective mutism anyway?”
“It's when a person can talk but due to anxiety or stress, fear or sadness … whatever the reason … the person simply chooses to stop talking.”
“I don’t get it. How does a person just stop talking?”
“I don’t know, Ma. Max woke up Thursday from what we think was a night terror and he hasn’t said a single thing since then.”
“How long can this last?”
“No clue.”
“What should we do for him?”
“Treat him the same as you always have. Keep talking to him but don’t push him into talking back. The doctor said that pressuring him could make the situation even worse.”
“Oh, Ari!” She covered her hand with her mouth.
“Deep breath, Mom. I need to have you try not to show how troubled you are. Seeing you distraught is another thing than can make things harder for him. And for Ava. She’s, umm … upset. The doctor also said not to baby him but to just carry on as usual and hope that he comes around.”
“Ok. So I should just talk to them both as if nothing is different?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
My mug was empty. Mom pushed up from her chair to pour more coffee in it as her house started to fill with the usual Sunday guests.
Gianna and Thais entered the house, followed by my parent’s friends, Ophelia and Pete, with their toddler, Stella.
“Maaaxxx?” Stella had just recently begun to walk and talk. She had an adorable crush on Max and went on the hunt for him as soon as Ophelia put her down on her own two feet.
Rory, Julia and Nick arrived together followed by August and Collin. One of Gianna’s sisters, Cacia, arrived with her husband Beryl and their daughter, Caliana. Caliana is Rory and Nick’s other cousin and we used to tease Rory constantly about having a crush on her. He denies it to this day, but I am pretty sure he had a very serious fondness for his cousin at one time.
Every new addition to the group walked through the door and scanned the room for Ava. No “Hey, Ari's” anymore, just “Where’s Ava?”
“She’s on her way,” I said a dozen or more times before she finally breezed through the doorway with Max at her feet.
“Hi!” Ava said just this one word and the crowd swooped in on her, kissing her cheek, squeezing her hand, palming her belly. Women pushed outdated parenting advice down her throat and she humbly listened, thanked them and smiled.
“Hey, Gorgeous.” I kissed the corner of Ava’s mouth after she eventually maneuvered a path to me and then I scooped Max up for a hug. “How was your morning?”
“Good. The extra sleep was nice, thank you.” She smiled a pretty, white smile.
I pressed loud kisses into Max’s plump cheeks and he squeezed me in a tight, warm hug. “Hi, Buddy. How was your morning?” He nuzzled his face into my neck and took a deep breath. “Stella is looking all over the house for you, Max. Better go find her.” I set him back on his feet and he hid behind Ava’s leg.
“What’s wrong with Stella?” I asked him and received no answer.
“Little girls make him nervous.” Ava eased him out from behind her leg. She squatted down to Max’s level and talked to him very sweetly. “She just wants to play with you. Could you show her the toys in the playroom?”
Max pouted and fiddled with the fabric from Ava’s flowing maxi skirt.
“Please, Max?”
He put on a really grumpy face and even though we both wanted to baby him, indulge him and give in to whatever he wanted, we knew in the long run that kind of treatment would only make things worse for Max.
“It’s either you play with Stella or you’ll be put to work in the kitchen. I won’t let you watch the baseball game on TV.” Ava was stern with him and he stomped off towards the new playroom that was equipped with the best toys available on the market today, thanks to my parents who tend to go overboard on just about everything.
“Did he say anything this morning?” I asked when he was out of earshot.
“No. I thought he was going to talk to me when he first woke up but he didn’t.”
“He will.”
She bobbed her head, unsure.
“How about you, are you okay today? You had a couple of nasty ones last night.”
“I’m good. As long as I have you, I’m good.” She kissed me gently and smoothed the crease in my forehead with the soft pad of her thumb.
“Wanna hang with me? We can watch the game.” I wrapped both of my arms around her and pulled her up close to my body so I could breathe her sweet scent.
“I can’t. I told your mom I would help her in the kitchen and she wants me to make the bread, too.”
“Bread duty?”
“Uh huh!”
“You’re in the big leagues now, Baby.”
She giggled cutely and my heart celebrated with a big kaboom-like thud in my chest.
“You look exhausted. I’m sorry I kept you up all night.”
“Mmm. I am tired, but don’t apologize. I would do anything for you, even in your sleep.”
“Go pretend to watch the game with your dad and take a nap.”
“OK. You’re the best Ava Zae.”
Securing my spot in the living room, I kicked back in an oversized chair and propped my feet up on the ottoman. The White Sox were playing the Angels and it sounded like a good game from Nick and Rory’s constant shouting but my vision was blurry and I was too tired to care about the score.
My eyes fluttered open when two little hands grabbed on to my leg in an attempt to climb up my body. Max had manag
ed to sneak past Ava and the kitchen full of women and I helped him up and let him curl up with me in the chair. His body sunk into the space between my chest and my arm and his head eased into the dip of my shoulder. The tips of his springy hair tickled my nose.
“Are you still sleepy?” I asked him and Max shook his head no and then placed his palm on my scruffy cheek. “I love you,” I said, pressing kisses into his open hand in between my words, “I would do anything for you, Max. You don’t have to do this -- you don’t have to be scared. I won’t let anything hurt you. Not ever. The frightening images in your dreams have to go through me first. I will always keep you safe no matter what.” He squeezed me harder and I drifted back asleep.