CHAPTER X: THE MENAGERIE
"The head remains unchanged within, Nor altered much the face,It still retains its native grin, And all its old grimace.
"Men with contempt the brute surveyed, Nor would a name bestow,But women liked the motley beast, And called the thing a beau."
The Monkies, MERRICK.
The Woodford family did not long remain at Winchester. Annedeclared the cold to be harming her mother, and became very anxiousto bring her to the milder sea breezes of Portchester, and thoughMrs. Woodford had little expectation that any place would make muchdifference to her, she was willing to return to the quiet and reposeof her home under the castle walls beside the tranquil sea.
Thus they travelled back, as soon as the Doctor's Residence wasended, plodding through the heavy chalk roads as well as the bighorses could drag the cumbrous coach up and down the hills, onlyhalting for much needed rest at Sir Philip Archfield's red house,round three sides of a quadrangle, the fourth with a low wall backedby a row of poplar trees, looking out on the alternate mud andsluggish waters of Fareham creek, but with a beautiful garden behindthe house.
The welcome was hearty. Lady Archfield at once conducted Mrs.Woodford to her own bedroom, where she was to rest and be servedapart, and Anne disrobed her of her wraps, covered her upon the bed,and at her hostess's desire was explaining what refreshment wouldbest suit her, when there was a shrill voice at the door: "I wantMistress Anne! I want to show her my clothes and jewels."
"Coming, child, she is coming when she has attended to her mother,"responded the lady. "White wine, or red, did you say, Anne, and alittle ginger?"
"Is she never coming?" was again the call; and Lady Archfieldmuttering, "Was there ever such an impatient poppet?" released Anne,who was instantly pounced upon by young Mrs. Archfield. Linking herarm into that of her visitor, and thrusting Lucy into thebackground, the little heiress proceeded to her own wainscottedbedroom, bare according to modern views, but very luxuriousaccording to those of the seventeenth century, and with the toiletteapparatus, scanty indeed, but of solid silver, and with a lavishamount of perfumery. Her 'own woman' was in waiting to display andrefold the whole wedding wardrobe, brocade, satin, taffetas,cambric, Valenciennes, and point d'Alencon. Anne had to admire eachin detail, and then to give full meed to the whole casket of jewels,numerous and dazzling as befitted a constellation of heirlooms uponone small head. They were beautiful, but it was wearisome to repeat'Vastly pretty!' 'How exquisite!' 'That becomes you very well,'almost mechanically, when Lucy was standing about all the time,longing to exchange the girlish confidences that were burning tocome forth. 'Young Madam,' as every one called her in those timeswhen Christian names were at a discount, seemed to be jealous ofattention to any one else, and the instant she saw the guest attemptto converse with her sister-in-law peremptorily interrupted, almostas if affronted.
Perhaps if Anne had enjoyed freedom of speech with Lucy she wouldnot have learnt as much as did her mother, for the young are oftenmore scrupulous as to confidences than their seniors, who view themas still children, and freely discuss their affairs amongthemselves.
So Lady Archfield poured out her troubles: how her daughter-in-lawrefused employment, and disdained instruction in needlework,housewifery, or any domestic art, how she jangled the spinnet, butwould not learn music, and was unoccupied, fretful, and exacting, aburthen to herself and every one else, and treating Lucy as theslave of her whims and humours. As to such discipline as mothers-in-law were wont to exercise upon young wives, the least restraintor contradiction provoked such a tempest of passion as to shake thetiny, delicate frame to a degree that alarmed the good old matronfor the consequences. Her health was a continual difficulty, forher constitution was very frail, every imprudence cost hersuffering, and yet any check to her impulses as to food, exertion,or encountering weather was met by a spoilt child's resentment.Moreover, her young husband, and even his father, always thought theladies were hard upon her, and would not have her vexed; and astheir presence always brightened and restrained her, they neverunderstood the full amount of her petulance and waywardness, andwhen they found her out of spirits, or out of temper, they chargedall on her ailments or on want of consideration from her mother andsister-in-law.
Poor Lady Archfield, it was trying for her that her husband shouldbe nearly as blind as his son. The young husband was wonderfullytender, indulgent, and patient with the little creature, but itwould not be easy to say whether the affection were not a good deallike that for his dog or his horse, as something absolutely his own,with which no one else had a right to interfere. It was a relief tothe family that she always wanted to be out of doors with himwhenever the weather permitted, nay, often when it was far fromsuitable to so fragile a being; but if she came home aching andcrying ever so much with chill or fatigue, even if she had to keepher bed afterwards, she was equally determined to rush out as soonas she was up again, and as angry as ever at remonstrance.
Charles was gone to try a horse; and as the remains of the effectsof her last imprudence had prevented her accompanying him, thearrival of the guests had been a welcome diversion to the monotonyof the morning.
He was, however, at home again by the time the dinner-bell summonedthe younger ladies from the inspection of the trinkets and thegentlemen from the live stock, all to sit round the heavy oakentable draped with the whitest of napery, spun by Lady Archfield inher maiden days, and loaded with substantial joints, succeeded bydelicacies manufactured by herself and Lucy.
As to the horse, Charles was fairly satisfied, but 'that fellow,young Oakshott, had been after him, and had the refusal.'
"Don't you be outbid, Mr. Archfield," exclaimed the wife. "What isthe matter of a few guineas to us?"
"Little fear," replied Charles. "The old Major is scarcely like topay down twenty gold caroluses, but if he should, the bay is his."
"Oh, but why not offer thirty?" she cried.
Charles laughed. "That would be a scurvy trick, sweetheart, and ifPeregrine be a crooked stick, we need not be crooked too."
"I was about to ask," said the Doctor, "whether you had heard aughtof that same young gentleman."
"I have seen him where I never desire to see him again," said SirPhilip, "riding as though he would be the death of the poor hounds."
"Nick Huntsman swears that he bewitches them," said Charles, "forthey always lose the scent when he is in the field, but I believe'tis the wry looks of him that throw them all out."
"And I say," cried the inconsistent bride, "that 'tis all jealousythat puts the gentlemen beside themselves, because none of them candance, nor make a bow, nor hand a cup of chocolate, nor open a gateon horseback like him."
"What does a man on horseback want with opening gates?" exclaimedCharles.
"That's your manners, sir," said young Madam with a laugh. "What'sthe poor lady to do while her cavalier flies over and leaves her inthe lurch?"
Her husband did not like the general laugh, and muttered, "You knowwhat I mean well enough."
"Yes, so do I! To fumble at the fastening till your poor beast canbear it no longer and swerves aside, and I sit waiting a good halfhour before you bring down your pride enough to alight and open it."
"All because you _would_ send Will home for your mask."
"You would like to have had my poor little face one blister with theglare of sun and sea."
"Blisters don't come at this time of the year."
"No, nor to those who have no complexion to lose," she cried, with atriumphant look at the two maidens, who certainly had not the liliesnor the roses that she believed herself to have, though, in truth,her imprudences had left her paler and less pretty than atWinchester.
If this were the style of the matrimonial conversations, Anne againgrieved for her old playfellow, and she perceived that Lucy lookeduncomfortable; but there was no getting a moment's privateconversation with her before the coach was brought round again forthe completion of the journey. All that neighbourhood
had a verybad reputation as the haunt of lawless characters, prone toviolence; and though among mere smugglers there was little danger ofan attack on persons well known like the Woodford family, they wereoften joined by far more desperate men from the seaport, so that itwas never desirable to be out of doors after dark.
The journey proved to have been too much for Mrs. Woodford'sstrength, and for some days she was so ill that Anne never left thehouse; but she rallied again, and on coming downstairs became veryanxious that her daughter should not be more confined by attendancethan was wholesome, and insisted on every opportunity of change oramusement being taken.
One day as Anne was in the garden she was surprised by Peregrinedashing up on horseback.
"You would not take the Queen's rosary before," he said. "You mustnow, to save it. My father has smelt it out. He says it isteraphim! Micah--Rachel, what not, are quoted against it. He wouldhave smashed it into fragments, but that Martha Browning said itwould be a pretty bracelet. I'd sooner see it smashed than on herred fist. To think of her giving in to such vanities! But he saidshe might have it, only to be new strung. When he was gone shesaid, 'I don't really want the thing, but it was hard you shouldlose the Queen's keepsake. Can you bestow it safely?' I said Icould, and brought it hither. Keep it, Anne, I pray."
Anne hesitated, and referred it to her mother upstairs.
"Tell him," she said, "that we will keep it in trust for him as aroyal gift."
Peregrine was disappointed, but had to be content.
A Dutch vessel from the East Indies had brought home sundry strangeanimals, which were exhibited at the Jolly Mariner at Portsmouth,and thus announced on a bill printed on execrable paper, brought outto Portchester by some of the market people:--
"An Ellefante twice the Bignesse of an Ocks, the Trunke or Probosceswhereof can pick up a Needle or roote up an Ellum Tree. Also theRoyale Tyger, the same as has slaine and devoured seven yonge Gentoobabes, three men, and two women at the township at Chuttergong, nieto Bombay, in the Eastern Indies. Also the sacred Ape, worshippedby the heathen of the Indies, the Dancing Serpent which wearethSpectacles, and whose Bite is instantly mortal, with other rareFish, Fowle, Idols and the like. All to be seene at the Charge ofone Groat per head."
Mrs. Woodford declared herself to be extremely desirous that herdaughter should see and bring home an account of all these marvels,and though Anne had no great inclination to face the tiger with theformidable appetite, she could not refuse to accompany her uncle.
The Jolly Mariner stood in one of the foulest and narrowest of thestreets of the unsavoury seaport, and Dr. Woodford sighed, andfumed, and wished for a good pipe of tobacco more than once as hehesitated to try to force a way for his niece through the thronground the entrance to the stable-yard of the Jolly Mariner,apparently too rough to pay respect to gown and cassock. Anne clungto his arm, ready to give up the struggle, but a voice said, "Allowme, sir. Mistress Anne, deign to take my arm."
It was Peregrine Oakshott with his brother Robert, and she couldhardly tell how in a few seconds she had been squeezed through thecrowd, and stood in the inn-yard, in a comparatively free space, fora groat was a prohibitory charge to the vulgar.
"Peregrine! Master Oakshott!" They heard an exclamation ofpleasure, at which Peregrine shrugged his shoulders and lookedexpressively at Anne, before turning to receive the salutations ofan elderly gentleman and a tall young woman, very plainly buthandsomely clad in mourning deeper than his own. She was of a tall,gaunt, angular figure, and a face that never could have beenhandsome, and now bore evident traces of smallpox in redness andpits.
Dr. Woodford knew the guardian Mr. Browning, and his ward MistressMartha and Mistress Anne Jacobina were presented to one another.The former gave a good-humoured smile, as if perfectly unconsciousof her own want of beauty, and declared she had hoped to meet allthe rest here, especially Mistress Anne Woodford, of whom she hadheard so much. There was just a little patronage about the tonewhich repelled the proud spirit that was in Anne, and in spite ofthe ordinary dread and repulsion she felt for Peregrine, she wasnaughty enough to have the feeling of a successful beauty whenPeregrine most manifestly turned away from the heiress in her silkand velvet to do the honours of the exhibition to the parson'sniece.
The elephant was fastened by the leg to a post, which perhaps hecould have pulled up, had he thought it worth his while, but he waswell contented to wave his trunk about and extend its clever fingerto receive contributions of cakes and apples, and he was too wellamused to resort to any strong measures. The tiger, to Anne'srelief, proved to be only a stuffed specimen. Peregrine, who hadseen a good many foreign animals in Holland, where the Dutchcaptains were in the habit of bringing curiosities home for thedelectation of their families in their Lusthausen, was a veryamusing companion, having much to tell about bird and beast, whileRobert stood staring with open mouth. The long-legged secretary andthe beautiful doves were, however, only stuffed, but Anne was muchentertained at second hand with the relation of the numerousobjects, which on the word of a Leyden merchant had been known todisappear in the former bird's capacious crop, and with stories ofthe graceful dancing of the cobra, though she was not sorry that thepresent specimen was only visible in a bottle of arrack, where hisspectacled hood was scarcely apparent. Presently a well knownshrill young voice was heard. "Yes, yes, I know I shall swoon atthat terrible tiger! Oh, don't! I can't come any farther."
"Why, you would come, madam," said Charles.
"Yes, yes! but--oh, there's a two-tailed monster! I know it is thetiger! It is moving! I shall die if you take me any farther."
"Plague upon your folly, madam! It is only the elephant," said agruffer, rude voice.
"Oh, it is dreadful! 'Tis like a mountain! I can't! Oh no, Ican't!"
"Come, madam, you have brought us thus far, you must come on, andnot make fools of us all," said Charles's voice. "There's nothingto hurt you."
Anne, understanding the distress and perplexity, here turned back tothe passage into the court, and began persuasively to explain tolittle Mrs. Archfield that the tiger was dead, and only a skin, andthat the elephant was the mildest of beasts, till she coaxed forwardthat small personage, who had of course never really intended toturn back, supported and guarded as she was by her husband, andlikewise by a tall, glittering figure in big boots and a handsomescarlet uniform and white feather who claimed her attention as hestrode into the court. "Ha! Mistress Anne and the Doctor on mylife. What, don't you know me?"
"Master Sedley Archfield!" said the Doctor; "welcome home, sir!'Tis a meeting of old acquaintance. You and this gentleman are bothso much altered that it is no wonder if you do not recognise oneanother at once."
"No fear of Mr. Perry Oakshott not being recognised," said SedleyArchfield, holding out his hand, but with a certain sneer in hisrough voice that brought Peregrine's eyebrows together. "Kenspeckleenough, as the fools of Whigs say in Scotland."
"Are you long from Scotland, sir?" asked Dr. Woodford, by way ofpreventing personalities.
"Oh ay, sir; these six months and more. There's not much more sportto be had since the fools of Cameronians have been pretty well gotunder, and 'tis no loss to be at Hounslow."
"And oh, what a fright!" exclaimed Mrs. Archfield, catching sight ofthe heiress. "Keep her away! She makes me ill."
They were glad to divert her attention to feeding the elephant, andshe was coquetting a little about making up her mind to approacheven the defunct tiger, while she insisted on having the number ofhis victims counted over to her. Anne asked for Lucy, to whom shewanted to show the pigeons, but was answered that, "my lady wantedLucy at home over some matter of jellies and blancmanges."
Charles shrugged his shoulders a little and Sedley grumbled to Anne."The little vixen sets her heart on cates that she won't lay afinger to make, and poor Lucy is like to be no better than a cook-maid, while they won't cross her, for fear of her tantrums."
At that instant piercing screams, shriek upon
shriek, rang throughthe court, and turning hastily round, Anne beheld a little monkeyperched on Mrs. Archfield's head, having apparently leapt thitherfrom the pole to which it was chained.
The keeper was not in sight, being in fact employed over a sale ofsome commodities within. There was a general springing to therescue. Charles tried to take the creature off, Sedley tugged atthe chain fastened to a belt round its body, but the monkey heldtight by the curls on the lady's forehead with its hands, andcrossed its legs round her neck, clasping the hands so that theeffect of the attempts of her husband and his cousin was only tothrottle her, so that she could no longer scream and was almost in afit, when on Peregrine holding out a nut and speaking coaxingly inDutch, the monkey unloosed its hold, and with another bound was onhis arm. He stood caressing and feeding it, talking to it in thesame tongue, while it made little squeaks and chatterings, evidentlydelighted, though its mournful old man's visage still had the samepiteous expression. There was something most grotesque and almostweird in the sight of Peregrine's queer figure toying with its oddhands which seemed to be in black gloves, and the strange languagehe talked to it added to the uncanny effect. Even the Doctor feltit as he stood watching, and would have muttered 'Birds of afeather,' but that the words were spoken more gruffly and plainly bySedley Archfield, who said something about the Devil and his dam,which the good Doctor did not choose to hear, and only said toPeregrine, "You know how to deal with the jackanapes."
"I have seen some at Leyden, sir. This is a pretty little beast."
Pretty! There was a recoil in horror, for the creature looked tothe crowd demoniacal. Something the same was the sensation ofCharles, who, assisted by Anne and Martha, had been rather carryingthan leading his wife into the inn parlour, where she immediatelyhad a fit of hysterics--vapours, as they called it--bringing all thewomen of the inn about her, while Martha and Anne soothed her asbest they could, and he was reduced to helplessly leaning out at thebay window.
When the sobs and cries subsided, under cold water and essenceswithout and strong waters within, and the little lady in Martha'sstrong arms, between the matronly coaxing of the fat hostess and thekind soothings of the two young ladies, had been restored tosomething of equanimity, Mistress Martha laid her down and said withthe utmost good humour and placidity to the young husband, "Now I'llgo, sir. She is better now, but the sight of my face might set heroff again."
"Oh, do not say so, madam. We are infinitely obliged. Let herthank you."
But Martha shook her hand and laughed, turning to leave the room, sothat he was fain to give her his arm and escort her back to herguardian.
Then ensued a scream. "Where's he going? Mr. Archfield, don'tleave me."
"He is only taking Mistress Browning back to her guardian," saidAnne.
"Eh? oh, how can he? A hideous fright!" she cried.
To say the truth, she was rather pleased to have had such a dreadfuladventure, and to have made such a commotion, though she protestedthat she must go home directly, and could never bear the sight ofthose dreadful monsters again, or she should die on the spot.
"But," said she, when the coach was at the door, and Anne hadrestored her dress to its dainty gaiety, "I must thank MasterPeregrine for taking off that horrible jackanapes."
"Small thanks to him," said Charles crossly. "I wager it was allhis doing out of mere spite."
"He is too good a beau ever to spite _me_," said Mrs. Alice, herhead a little on one side.
"Then to show off what he could do with the beast--Satan's imp, likehimself."
"No, no, Mr. Archfield," pleaded Anne, "that was impossible; I sawhim myself. He was with that sailor-looking man measuring theheight of the secretary bird."
"I believe you are always looking after him," grumbled Charles. "Ican't guess what all the women see in him to be always gazing afterhim."
"Because he is so charmingly ugly," laughed the young wife, trippingout in utter forgetfulness that she was to die if she went near thebeasts again. She met Peregrine half way across the yard withoutstretched hands, exclaiming--
"O Mr. Oakshott! it was so good in you to take away that nastybeast."
"I am glad, madam, to have been of use," said Peregrine, bowing andsmiling, a smile that might explain something of his fascination."The poor brute was only drawn, as all of our kind are. He wantedto see so sweet a lady nearer. He is quite harmless. Will youstroke him? See, there he sits, gazing after you. Will you givehim a cake and make friends?"
"No, no, madam, it cannot be; it is too much," grumbled Charles; andthough Alice had backed at first, perhaps for the pleasure ofteasing him, or for that of being the centre of observation,actually, with all manner of pretty airs and graces, she let herselfbe led forward, lay a timid hand on the monkey's head, and put acake in its black fingers, while all the time Peregrine held it fastand talked Dutch to it; and Charles Archfield hardly contained hisrage, though Anne endeavoured to argue the impossibility ofPeregrine's having incited the attack; and Sedley blustered thatthey ought to interfere and make the fellow know the reason why.However, Charles had sense enough to know that though he mightexhale his vexation in grumbling, he had no valid cause forquarrelling with young Oakshott, so he contented himself with blacklooks and grudging thanks, as he was obliged to let Peregrine handhis wife into her carriage amid her nods and becks and wreathedsmiles.
They would have taken Dr. Woodford and his niece home in the coach,but Anne had an errand in the town, and preferred to return by boat.She wanted some oranges and Turkey figs to allay her mother'sconstant thirst, and Peregrine begged permission to accompany them,saying that he knew where to find the best and cheapest.Accordingly he took them to a tiny cellar, in an alley by the boatcamber, where the Portugal oranges certainly looked riper and werecheaper than any that Anne had found before; but there seemed to bean odd sort of understanding between Peregrine and the withered oldweather-beaten sailor who sold them, such as rather puzzled theDoctor.
"I hope these are not contraband," he said to Peregrine, when theoranges had been packed in the basket of the servant who followedthem.
Peregrine shrugged his shoulders.
"Living is hard, sir. Ask no questions."
The Doctor looked tempted to turn back with the fruit, but suchdoubts were viewed as ultra scruples, and would hardly have beenentertained even by a magistrate such as Sir Philip Archfield.
It was not a time for questions, and Peregrine remained with themtill they embarked at the point, asking to be commended to Mrs.Woodford, and hoping soon to come and see both her and poor Hans, heleft them.