offer. Then we walked around downtown by the water under the bridge. When we sat down in the gazebo, she actually reached down and held my hand. I felt like I had a million butterflies in my chest now and I never wanted them to leave their cage. She smiled at me in that Charlie like way, and I could see that gleam in her eyes that she used to get while we were dating. We went to my house because my parents weren’t home. After that we officially “made up”. It felt good to be connected with Charlie emotionally and physically. I had high hopes that we would be a couple again, but we talked about a long distance relationship. We decided it wouldn’t work. When I say we, I mean Charlie said it would be best. She kissed me on the lips and said, “If you love something...”
When has that ever worked, I thought? I knew I wanted to be with Charlie. The question is did she want to be with me. I pondered this all night. We were about to go off to college and meet new people. Is that what Charlie wanted to do? That thought terrified me. I confided my thoughts to Scott later that night.
“Look you are both about to go off to college, and meet new people and experience new things. It's time you started living life. You'll have to live it without Charlotte sooner or later,” he told me.
“I would expect an answer like that from you C.S. Lewis.”
“Don't call me that!” he grumbled.
“Why not? C.S. Is your name,” I joked.
“My name is Scott.” He smiled at me.
“But I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her,” I confided in him.
“News flash! Mike I know that and you know that, but Charlie has to see that and know that, but how can she if you are all she knows?” he posed.
I hated to admit it,which I didn't, but he was right so I gave him an angry “Whatever!”
The next day both sets of our parents drove us to Raleigh to the train station. Colin and Scott came to see us off as well. Our parents took pictures of the four of us; it was a bittersweet day. I was with my three favorite people, but when would we ever be together again? We talked of getting together for Christmas. Then Charlie and I boarded the train. It would be a nice long ride and I would be with Charlie. I wished train rides could last forever. Charlie was exhausted and rested her head on my shoulder. She woke up a couple of hours later admiring the lush green countryside of where ever we were at the time. We got to Illinois first and Charlie got off. She had an aunt and uncle waiting for her at the station. I had some time before the train left and helped them get her bags to the car. Then she told them she needed to talk to me before they left. “
I’ll see you at home for Christmas,” she said.
“Promise?” I asked.
Then she grabbed me and kissed me. I didn’t want it to end, and when it did I felt a profound sadness. My heart was wrenched from my chest. I wish I had gone to Illinois State now. Christmas seemed a thousand years away.
“I wanted to be the first college woman to kiss you, ” she said, with that mischievous Charlie smile.
As I boarded I couldn’t help but think of all of those college guys going after Charlie. I wanted to beat up people I didn’t even know. I arrived at college and it was just like I imagined. Girls everywhere, but not a single one of them like Charlie. I spent most of my time studying and doing school work. My college friends called me a nerd because I didn’t go out and party like everyone else. I stayed at home and video chatted with my three best friends and Tracy all the time. It was like being together even though we were worlds and miles apart. I was like a five year old.
Christmas couldn’t come fast enough for me. Every holiday I was dying to get home. I bought my ticket a month in advance. Christmas break finally came and I flew home. My family picked me up at RDU. Scott came with them. He didn’t look happy though. When I asked him what was wrong he said that Charlie had gotten snowed in.
I hadn’t counted on that! I hadn't even checked the weather reports. She might not be coming home at all. When would I have a chance to see her again? The rest of us and Tracy got together at Colin’s house and video chatted with her. Tracy asked some of the questions I wanted to know myself. Like about a boyfriend. Charlie said she didn’t have time.
Before I knew said it I said “Same here!” Everyone stared at me for a minute.
Charlie thought she might be spending Christmas with her aunt and uncle. I was devastated. I felt like a kid who didn’t get the most important thing on his list. All I wanted for Christmas was Charlie. I never remembered wanting Christmas vacation to go away so fast. Then I got an idea. I could go back early and spend the rest of my vacation with Charlie. I tried to get her on video chat, but she was offline. I sent her a message and asked her what she thought. I fell asleep and woke up to see a notification on my phone. She said that I should spend time with my family. That maybe I should come visit her one weekend. That didn’t make me feel better. I thought fast and asked her about New Year's.
“Sounds good, Mike. I'd like that.”
I could never remember a Christmas so lonely. I had my friends and we did the things we would normally do like looking at the lights downtown. But it just wasn't the same without Charlie. Despite the resplendent display downtown and the festive atmosphere, I felt as empty as the pecan trees were at the old Christ Episcopal Church downtown. The bareness of their branches seemed to echo my life without Charlie. They were once so full of fruit and life. Now they were empty and dark, a stark contrast to the light and life all around them.
“Hey man, you okay?” Scott asked as we walked around.
“I miss Charlie,” I responded.
“Big surprise. Tell me something I don't know,” Scott replied.
“I'm going to see her for New Year's,” I informed him.
“So you two are spending New Year's together?” Scott asked.
“Yeah.” I nodded and smiled.
“I love you both man, but I wish you two would just get it together,” Scott laughed.
With my ticket changed I was on my way to Chicago. Charlie drove herself to get me, and her aunt and uncle were cool with me staying with them. We went to her campus and she showed me her room. She had a picture of all of us on her dresser, just like the one I had in my dorm. She wanted to talk about college life and how I was adjusting.
“So, have you been on any dates?” she asked.
“No, how about you?”
“A couple, but nothing serious, just blind dates.”
“Yeah, my dorm mates call me a nerd because I don’t do anything.”
Her roommates came in and recognized me from the photos.
“So this is Mr. Wonderful,” said one.
“You must have been a great boyfriend. Why did you guys break up?” asked the other.
“Ask her. She broke up with me,” I said.
“I didn’t want him to feel strained with a long distance relationship,” Charlie said.
“So in the meantime, you have no life,” said one of the roommates.
“I have a life. I have school,” Charlie protested.
We left to go get a bite to eat, then went back to her aunt and uncle’s house to watch television. We fell asleep on the couch. In the morning her uncle woke us up for breakfast. New Year's in Chicago was awesome. The fireworks over the water and the view of the city from her aunt and uncle's house was extraordinary. There were crowds of people everywhere, but I was content to be with just one. I was glad to share it with Charlie even though she wasn’t as affectionate as she was on the train or on our last date in New Bern. But it was fine. I was with Charlie. That meant more to me than any of the sights and sounds I was experiencing. I went back to school and counted the days until summer.
Summer was finally here and I was back with my friends. We spent a lot of time at Colin’s house by the pool. Scott actually had a real girlfriend, Erica. She was nice and perfect for him. Everyone was paired off except Charlie and me. It was cool if things got romantic, she just made an excuse to be somewhere else. The summer was ov
er before we knew it, and it was back to school. God! Being back there sucked so bad. Even though Charlie was really in friend mode, I wasn’t.
I was back to wishing for Christmas again. This year not only did I get my ticket early, but I got a connecting flight so I could fly back with Charlie. If she couldn’t come home, neither could I. Mother nature was kind that year, and we made it out of Chicago. We were on our way back home together. We got into town. Colin was already waiting at my house. He wanted all of us to go out to dinner together. So we did, the four of us and Tracy and Erica. We had a great time. Then, around dessert, Colin dropped his spoon and he knelt down to get it. But he didn’t come up. Instead he grabbed Tracy’s hand.
“Tracy, we have been together for a long time and I want to continue down this road with you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?” Colin asked.
“Oh yes,” Tracy said through teary eyes.
Charlie and Erica hugged her and Scott and I congratulated Colin. Colin also had another announcement. He was seriously considering becoming a preacher. We didn’t know what to make of this. He and Tracy had been going to church, and he had gotten saved and was becoming more active in the church. They planned a wedding for the next summer. Of course, we were all going to be involved.
Christmas was over before I knew it and we were back at school. Colin kept updating us on the progress of the wedding. He got our dimensions for our tuxes and Tracy