CHAPTER III.
Lord Elmwood was preparing to go abroad, for the purpose of receiving inform, the dispensation from his vows; it was, however, a subject heseemed carefully to avoid speaking upon; and when by any accident he wasobliged to mention it, it was without any marks either of satisfactionor concern.
Miss Milner's pride began to be alarmed. While he was Mr. Dorriforth,and confined to a single life, his indifference to her charms was ratheran honourable than a reproachful trait in his character, and in reality,she admired him for the insensibility. But on the eve of being atliberty, and on the eve of making his choice, she was offended _that_choice was not immediately fixed upon her. She had been accustomed toreceive the devotion of every man who saw her, and not to obtain it ofthe man from whom, of all others, she most wished it, was cruellyhumiliating. She complained to Miss Woodley, who advised her to havepatience; but that was one of the virtues in which she was the leastpractised.
Encouraged, nevertheless, by her friend in the commendable desire ofgaining the affections of him, who possessed all her own, she, however,left no means unattempted for the conquest--but she began with too greata certainty of success, not to be sensible of the deepest mortificationin the disappointment--nay, she anticipated a disappointment, as she hadbefore anticipated her success; by turns feeling the keenest emotionsfrom hope and from despair.
As these passions alternately governed her, she was alternately inspirits or dejected; in good or in ill humour; and the vicissitudes ofher prospect at length gave to her behaviour an air of caprice, whichnot all her follies had till now produced. This was not the way tosecure the affections of Lord Elmwood; she knew it was not; and beforehim she was under some restriction. Sandford observed this, and withoutreserve, added to the list of her other failings, hypocrisy. It wasplain to see that Mr. Sandford esteemed her less and less every day; andas he was the person who most influenced the opinion of her guardian,he became to her, very soon, an object not merely of dislike, but ofabhorrence.
These mutual sentiments were discoverable in every word and action,while they were in each other's company; but still in his absence, MissMilner's good nature, and total freedom from malice, never suffered herto utter a sentence injurious to his interest. Sandford's charity didnot extend thus far; and speaking of her with severity one evening whileshe was at the opera, "His meaning," as he said, "but to caution herguardian against her faults," Lord Elmwood replied,
"There is one fault, however, Mr. Sandford, I cannot lay to her charge."
"And what is that, my Lord?" cried Sandford, eagerly, "What is that onefault, which Miss Milner has not?"
"I never," replied Lord Elmwood, "heard Miss Milner, in your absence,utter a syllable to your disadvantage."
"She dares not, my Lord, because she is in fear of you and she knows youwould not suffer it."
"She then," answered his Lordship, "pays me a much higher complimentthan you do; for you freely censure _her_, and yet imagine I _will_suffer it."
"My Lord," replied Sandford, "I am undeceived now, and shall never takethat liberty again."
As Lord Elmwood always treated Sandford with the utmost respect, hebegan to fear he had been deficient upon this occasion; and thedisposition which had induced him to take his ward's part, was likely,in the end, to prove unfavourable to her; for perceiving Sandford wasoffended at what had passed, as the only means of retribution, he beganhimself to lament her volatile and captious propensities; in whichlamentation, Sandford, now forgetting his affront, joined with theheartiest concurrence, adding,
"You, Sir, having now other cares to employ your thoughts, ought toinsist upon her marrying, or retiring into the country."
She returned home just as this conversation was finished, and Sandford,the moment she entered, rang for his candle to retire. Miss Woodley,who had been at the opera with Miss Milner, cried,
"Bless me, Mr. Sandford, are you not well, you are going to leave us soearly?"
He replied, "No, I have a pain in my head."
Miss Milner, who never listened to complaints without sympathy, roseimmediately from her seat, saying,
"I think I never heard you, Mr. Sandford, complain of indispositionbefore. Will you accept of my specific for the head-ache? Indeed it is acertain relief--I'll fetch it instantly."
She went hastily out of the room, and returned with a bottle, which, sheassured him, "Was a present from Lady Luneham, and would certainly curehim." And she pressed it upon him with such an anxious earnestness, thatwith all his churlishness he could not refuse taking it.
This was but a common-place civility, such as is paid by one enemy toanother every day; but the _manner_ was the material part. Theunaffected concern, the attention, the good will, she demonstrated inthis little incident, was that which made it remarkable, and immediatelytook from Lord Elmwood the displeasure to which he had been just beforeprovoked, or rather transformed it into a degree of admiration. EvenSandford was not insensible to her behaviour, and in return, when heleft the room, "Wished her a good night."
To her and Miss Woodley, who had not been witnesses of the precedingconversation, what she had done appeared of no merit; but to the mind ofLord Elmwood, the merit was infinite; and upon the departure ofSandford, he began to be unusually cheerful. He first pleasantlyreproached the ladies for not offering him a place in their box at theopera.
"Would you have gone, my Lord?" asked Miss Milner, highly delighted.
"Certainly," returned he, "had you invited me."
"Then from this day I give you a general invitation; nor shall any othercompany be admitted but those whom you approve."
"I am very much obliged to you," said he.
"And you," continued she, "who have been accustomed only tochurch-music, will be more than any one, enchanted with hearing thesofter music of love."
"What ravishing pleasures you are preparing for me!" returned he--"I knownot whether my weak senses will be able to support them!"
She had her eyes upon him when he spoke this, and she discovered in his,that were fixed upon her, a sensibility unexpected--a kind of fascinationwhich enticed her to look on, while her eyelids fell involuntarilybefore its mighty force, and a thousand blushes crowded over her face.He was struck with these sudden signals; hastily recalled his formercountenance, and stopped the conversation.
Miss Woodley, who had been a silent observer for some time, now thoughta word or two from her would be acceptable rather than troublesome.
"And pray, my Lord," said she, "when do you go to France?"
"To Italy you mean;--I shall not go at all," said he. "My superiors arevery indulgent, for they dispense with all my duties. I ought, and Imeant, to have gone abroad; but as a variety of concerns require mypresence in England, every necessary ceremony has taken place here."
"Then your Lordship is no longer in orders?" said Miss Woodley.
"No; they have been resigned these five days."
"My Lord, I give you joy," said Miss Milner.
He thanked her, but added with a sigh, "If I have given up content insearch of joy, I shall perhaps be a loser by the venture." Soon afterthis, he wished them a good night, and retired.
Happy as Miss Milner found herself in his company, she saw him leave theroom with infinite satisfaction, because her heart was impatient to givea loose to its hopes on the bosom of Miss Woodley. She bade Mrs. Hortonimmediately good night; and, in her friend's apartment, gave way to allthe language of passion, warmed with the confidence of meeting itsreturn. She described the sentiments she had read in Lord Elmwood'slooks; and though Miss Woodley had beheld them too, Miss Milner's fancyheightened the expression of every glance, till her construction became,by degrees, so extremely favourable to her own wishes, that had not herfriend been present, and known in what measure to estimate thosesymptoms, she must infallibly have thought, by the joy to which theygave birth, that he had openly avowed a passion for her.
Miss Woodley, therefore, thought it her duty to allay these ecstasies,and represe
nted to her, she might be deceived in her hopes--or evensupposing his wishes inclined towards her, there were yet greatobstacles between them.--"Would not Sandford, who directed his everythought and purpose, be consulted upon this? and if he was, upon what,but the most romantic affection on the part of Lord Elmwood, had MissMilner to depend? and his Lordship was not a man to be suspected ofsubmitting to the excess of any passion." Thus did Miss Woodley argue,lest her friend should be misled by her wishes; yet, in her own mind,she scarce harboured a doubt that any thing would thwart them. Thesucceeding circumstance proved she was mistaken.
Another gentleman of family and fortune made overtures to Miss Milner;and her guardian, so far from having his thoughts inclined towards heron his own account, pleaded this lover's cause even with more zeal thanhe had pleaded for Sir Edward and Lord Frederick; thus at oncedestroying all those plans of happiness which poor Miss Milner hadformed.
In consequence, her melancholy humour was now predominant; she confinedherself at home, and yet, by her own order, was denied to all hervisitors. Whether this arose from pure melancholy, or the stilllingering hope of making her conquest, by that sedateness of mannerswhich she knew her guardian admired, she herself perhaps did notperfectly know. Be that as it may, Lord Elmwood could not but observethis change, and one morning thought fit to mention, and to applaud it.
Miss Woodley and she were at work together when he came into the room;and after sitting several minutes, and talking upon indifferentsubjects, to which his ward replied with a dejection in her voice andmanner--he said,
"Perhaps I am wrong, Miss Milner, but I have observed that you arelately more thoughtful than usual."
She blushed, as she always did when the subject was herself. Hecontinued, "Your health appears perfectly restored, and yet I haveobserved you take no delight in your former amusements."
"Are you sorry for that, my Lord?"
"No, I am extremely glad; and I was going to congratulate you upon thechange. But give me leave to enquire, to what lucky accident we mayattribute this alteration?"
"Your Lordship then thinks all my commendable deeds arise from accident,and that I have no virtues of my own."
"Pardon me, I think you have many." This he spoke emphatically; and herblushes increased.
He resumed--"How can I doubt of a lady's virtues, when her countenancegives me such evident proofs of them? Believe me, Miss Milner, that inthe midst of your gayest follies, while you thus continue to blush, Ishall reverence your internal sensations."
"Oh! my Lord, did you know some of them, I am afraid you would thinkthem unpardonable."
This was so much to the purpose, that Miss Woodley found herselfalarmed--but without reason--Miss Milner loved too sincerely to reveal itto the object. He answered,
"And did you know some of mine, you might think them _equally_unpardonable."
She turned pale, and could no longer guide her needle--in the fondtransport of her heart she imagined that his love for her, was among thesensations to which he alluded. She was too much embarrassed to reply,and he continued,
"We have all much to pardon in one another: and I know not whether theofficious person who forces, even his good advice, is not as blameableas the obstinate one, who will not listen to it. And now, having made apreface to excuse you, should you once more refuse mine, I shall ventureto give it."
"My Lord, I have never yet refused to follow your advice, but where myown peace of mind was so nearly concerned, as to have made me culpable,had I complied."
"Well, Madam, I submit to your determinations; and shall never againoppose your inclination to remain single."
This sentence, as it excluded the idea of soliciting for himself, gaveher the utmost pain; and her eye glanced at him, full of reproach. Hedid not observe it, but went on.
"While you continue unmarried, it seems to have been your father'sintention that you should continue under my immediate care; but as Imean for the future to reside chiefly in the country--answer me candidly,do you think you could be happy there, for at least three parts of theyear?"
After a short hesitation, she replied, "I have no objection."
"I am glad to hear it," he returned eagerly, "for it is my earnestdesire to have you with me--your welfare is dear to me as my own; andwere we apart, continual apprehensions would prey upon my mind."
The tear started in her eye, at the earnestness that accompanied thesewords; he saw it, and to soften her still more with the sense of hisesteem for her, he increased his earnestness while he said,
"If you will take the resolution to quit London for the time I mention,there shall be no means omitted to make the country all you can wish--Ishall insist upon Miss Woodley's company for both our sakes; and it willnot only be _my_ study to form such a society as you may approve, but Iam certain it will be likewise the study of Lady Elmwood----"
He was going on, but as if a poniard had thrust her to the heart, shewrithed under this unexpected stroke.
He saw her countenance change--he looked at her steadfastly.
It was not a common change from joy to sorrow, from content touneasiness, which Miss Milner discovered--she felt, and she expressedanguish--Lord Elmwood was alarmed and shocked. She did not weep, but shecalled Miss Woodley to come to her, with a voice that indicated a degreeof agony.
"My Lord," (cried Miss Woodley, seeing his consternation and tremblinglest he should guess the secret,) "My Lord, Miss Milner has againdeceived you--you must not take her from London--it is that, and thatalone, which is the cause of her uneasiness."
He seemed more amazed still--and still more shocked at her duplicity thanat her torture. "Good Heaven!" exclaimed he, "How am I to accomplish herwishes? What am I to do? How can I judge, if she will not confide in me,but thus for ever deceive me?"
She leaned, pale as death, on the shoulder of Miss Woodley, her eyefixed with apparent insensibility to all that was said, while hecontinued,
"Heaven is my witness, if I knew--If I could conceive the means how tomake her happy, I would sacrifice my own happiness to hers."
"My Lord," said Miss Woodley with a smile, "perhaps I may call upon youhereafter to fulfil your word."
He was totally ignorant what she meant, nor had he leisure, from theconfusion of his thoughts, to reflect upon her meaning; he neverthelessreplied, with warmth, "Do. You shall find I'll perform it.--Do. I willfaithfully perform it."
Though Miss Milner was conscious this declaration could not, indelicacy, be ever adduced against him; yet the fervent and solemn mannerin which he made it, cheered her spirits; and as persons enjoy thereflection of having in their possession some valuable gem, though theyare determined never to use it, so she upon this, was comforted and grewbetter. She now lifted up her head, and leaned it on her hand, as shesat by the side of a table--still she did not speak, but seemed overcomewith sorrow. As her situation became, however, less alarming, herguardian's pity and affright began to take the colour of resentment; andthough he did not say so, he was, and looked, highly offended.
At this juncture Mr. Sandford entered. On beholding the present party,it required not his sagacity to see at the first view, that they wereall uneasy; but instead of the sympathy this might have excited in somedispositions, Mr. Sandford, after casting a look at each of them,appeared in high spirits.
"You seem unhappy, my Lord," said he, with a smile.
"You do _not_--Mr. Sandford," Lord Elmwood replied.
"No, my Lord, nor would I, were I in your situation. What should make aman of sense out of temper but a worthy object!" And he looked at MissMilner.
"There are no objects unworthy our care:" replied Lord Elmwood.
"But there are objects on whom all care is fruitless, your Lordship willallow."
"I never yet despaired of any one, Mr. Sandford."
"And yet there are persons, of whom it is presumption to entertainhopes." And he looked again at Miss Milner.
"Does your head ache, Miss Milner?" asked her friend, seeing her hold itwith her hand.
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"Very much," returned she.
"Mr. Sandford," said Miss Woodley, "did you use all those drops MissMilner gave you for a pain in the head?"
"Yes:" answered he, "I did." But the question at that moment somewhatembarrassed him.
"And I hope you found benefit from them:" said Miss Milner, with greatkindness, as she rose from her seat, and walked slowly out of the room.
Though Miss Woodley followed her, so that Mr. Sandford was left alonewith Lord Elmwood, and might have continued his unkind insinuationswithout one restraint, yet his lips were closed for the present. Helooked down on the carpet--twitched himself upon his chair--and began totalk of the weather.