Here he was again, with his pathetic sense of not belonging. He knew that there were Sikh extremists, but he didn't know one personally. At the Duckworth Club, he was on the friendliest terms with Mr. Bakshi--a Sikh novelist, and a great conversationalist on the subject of American movie classics--yet they'd never discussed Sikh terrorists. And Farrokh knew about the Shiv Sena and the Dalit Panthers and the Tamil Tigers, but he knew nothing personally. There were more than 600 million Hindus in India; there were 100 million Muslims, and millions of Sikhs and Christians, too. There were probably not even 80,000 Parsis, Farrokh thought. But in his own small part of India--in his ugly apartment building on Marine Drive--all these contentious millions were reduced in the doctor's mind to what he called the elevator issue. Concerning the stupid lift, all these warring factions concurred: they disagreed only with him. Make the servants climb the stairs.
Farrokh had recently read about a man who was murdered because his mustache gave "caste offense"; apparently, the mustache was waxed to curl up--it should have drooped down. Dr. Daruwalla decided: Inspector Dhar should leave India and never come back. And I should leave India and never come back, too! he thought. For so what if he helped a few crippled children in Bombay? What business did he have even imagining "funny" movies about a country like this? He wasn't a writer. And what business did he have taking blood from dwarfs? He wasn't a geneticist, either.
Thus, with a characteristic loss of self-confidence, Dr. Daruwalla entered his apartment to face the music he was certain he would hear. He'd been late in telling his beloved wife that he'd invited his beloved John Daruwalla for the evening meal, and the doctor had kept them both waiting. Also, he'd lacked the courage to tell Inspector Dhar the upsetting news.
Farrokh felt he was trapped in a circus act of his own creation, an annoying pattern of procrastination that he couldn't break out of. He was reminded of an item in the Great Royal Circus; at first he'd found it a charming sort of madness, but now he thought it might drive him crazy if he ever saw it again. It conveyed such a meaningless but relentless insanity, and the accompanying music was so repetitious; in Dr. Daruwalla's mind, the act stood for the lunatic monotony that weighed on everyone's life from time to time. The item was called Load Cycle, and it was a case of simplicity carried to idiotic extremes.
There were two bicycles, each one pedaled by a very solid, strong-looking woman. The pair followed each other around the ring. They were joined by other plump, dark-skinned women, who found a variety of means by which to mount the moving bicycles. Some of the women perched on little posts that extended from the hubs of the front and back wheels; some mounted the handlebars and wobbled precariously there--others teetered on the rear fenders. And regardless of how many women mounted the bicycles, the two strong-looking women kept pedaling. Then little girls appeared; they climbed on the shoulders and stood on the heads of the other women--including the laboring, sturdy pedalers--until two struggling pyramids of women were clinging to these two bicycles, which never stopped circling the ring.
The music was of a sustained madness equal to one fragment of the cancan, repeated and repeated, and all the dark-skinned women--both the fat, older women and the little girls--wore too much face powder, which gave them a minstrel-like aura of unreality. They also wore pale-purple tutus, and they smiled and smiled and smiled as they tottered around and around and around the ring. The last time the doctor had seen a performance of this item, he'd thought it would never end.
Perhaps there's a Load Cycle in everyone's life, thought Dr. Daruwalla. As he paused at the door of his apartment, Farrokh felt he'd been enduring a Load Cycle sort of day. Dr. Daruwalla could imagine the cancan music starting up again, as if he were about to be greeted by a dozen dark-skinned girls in pale-purple tutus--all of them white-faced and moving to the insane, incessant rhythm.
7
DR. DARUWALLA HIDES IN HIS BEDROOM
Now the Elephants Will Be Angry
But the past is a labyrinth. Where's the way out? In the front hall of his apartment, where there were no dark-skinned, white-faced women in tutus, the doctor was halted by the clear but distant sound of his wife's voice. It reached him all the way from the balcony, where Julia was indulging Inspector Dhar with his favorite view of Marine Drive. On occasion, Dhar slept on that balcony, either when he stayed so late that he preferred to spend the night, or else when he'd just arrived in Bombay and needed to reacquaint himself with the city's smell.
Dhar swore this was the secret to his successful, almost instant adjustment to India. He could arrive from Europe, straight from Switzerland's fresh air--tainted, in Zurich, with restaurant fumes and diesel exhaust, with burning coal and hints of sewer gas--but after just two or three days in Bombay, Dhar claimed, he was unbothered by the smog, or by the two or three million small fires for cooking food in the slums, or by the sweet rot of garbage, or even by the excremental horror of the four or five million who squatted at the curb or at the water's edge of the surrounding sea. For in a city of nine million, surely the shit of half of these was evident in the Bombay air. It took Dr. Daruwalla two or three weeks to adjust to that permeating odor.
In the front hall, where the prevailing smell was of mildew, the doctor quietly removed his sandals; he deposited his briefcase and his old dark-brown doctor's bag. He noted that the umbrellas in the umbrella stand were dusty with disuse; it had been three months since the end of the monsoon rains. Even from the closed kitchen he could detect the mutton and the dhal--so that's what we're having, again, he thought--but the aroma of the evening meal couldn't distract Dr. Daruwalla from the powerful nostalgia of his wife speaking German, which she always spoke whenever she and Dhar were alone.
Farrokh stood and listened to the Austrian rhythms of Julia's German--always the ish sound, never the ick--and in his mind's eye he could see her when she was 18 or 19, when he'd courted her in her mother's old yellow-walled house in Grinzing. It was a house cluttered with Biedermeier culture. There was a bust of Franz Grillparzer by the coat tree in the foyer. The work of a portraitist obsessively committed to children's innocent expressions dominated the tea room, which was crowded with more cutesiness in the form of porcelain birds and silver antelopes. Farrokh remembered the afternoon he'd made a nervous, sweeping gesture with the sugar bowl--he broke a painted-glass lamp shade.
There were two clocks in the room. One of them played a fragment of a waltz by Lanner on the half hour and a slightly longer fragment of a Strauss waltz on the hour; the second clock paid similar token acknowledgments to Beethoven and Schubert--understandably, it was set a full minute behind the other. Farrokh remembered that, while Julia and her mother cleaned up the mess he'd made of the lamp shade, first the Strauss and then the Schubert played.
Whenever he recalled their many afternoon teas together, he could visualize his wife as a teenager. She was always dressed in a fashion Lady Duckworth would have admired. Julia wore a cream-colored blouse with flounced sleeves and a high, ruffled collar. They spoke German because her mother's English wasn't as good as theirs. Nowadays, Farrokh and Julia spoke German only occasionally. It was still their lovemaking language, or what they spoke in the dark. It was the language in which Julia had told him, "I find you very attractive." After two years of courting her, he'd nevertheless felt this was forward of her; he'd been speechless. He was struggling with how to phrase the question--whether or not she was troubled by his darker color--when she'd added, "Especially your skin. The picture of your skin against my skin is very attractive." (Das Bild--"the picture.")
When people say that German or any other language is romantic, Dr. Daruwalla thought, all they really mean is that they've enjoyed a past in the language. There was even a certain intimacy in listening to Julia speak German to Dhar, whom she always called John D. This was the servants' name for him, which Julia had adopted, much as she and Dr. Daruwalla had "adopted" the servants.
They were a feeble old couple, Nalin and Swaroop--Dr. Daruwalla's children and John D. had a
lways called her Roopa--but they'd outlived Lowji and Meher, whom they'd first served. It was a form of semiretirement to work for Farrokh and Julia; they were so infrequently in Bombay. The rest of the time, Nalin and Roopa were caretakers for the flat. If Dr. Daruwalla sold the apartment, where could the old couple go? He'd agreed with Julia that they would try to sell the place, but only after the old servants died. Even if Farrokh kept returning to India, he was rarely in Bombay so long that he couldn't afford to stay in a decent hotel. Once, when one of the doctor's Canadian colleagues had teased him for being so conservative about things, Julia had remarked, "Farrokh isn't conservative--he's absolutely extravagant. He maintains an apartment in Bombay so that his parents' former servants will have a place to live!"
Just then the doctor overheard Julia say something about the Queen's Necklace, which was the local name for the string of lights along Marine Drive. This name originated when the lamplights were white; the smog lights were yellow now. Julia was saying that yellow wasn't a proper color for the necklace of a queen.
What a European she is! Dr. Daruwalla thought. He had the greatest affection for the way she'd managed to adapt to their life in Canada and to their sporadic visits to India without ever losing her old-world sensibility, which remained as distinctive in her voice as in her habit of "dressing" for dinner--even in Bombay. It wasn't the content of Julia's speech that Dr. Daruwalla was listening to--he wasn't eavesdropping. It was only to hear the sound of her German, her soft accent in combination with such exact phrasing. But he realized that if Julia was talking about the Queen's Necklace, she couldn't possibly have told Dhar the upsetting news; the doctor's heart sank because he realized how much he'd been hoping that his wife would have told the dear boy.
Then John D. spoke. If it soothed Farrokh to hear Julia's German, it disturbed him to hear German from Inspector Dhar. In German, the doctor could barely recognize the John D. he knew, and it disquieted Dr. Daruwalla to hear how much more energetically Dhar spoke in German than he spoke in English. This emphasized to Dr. Daruwalla the distance that had grown between them. But Dhar's university education had been in Zurich; he'd spent most of his life in Switzerland. And his serious (if not widely recognized) work as an actor in the theater, at the Schauspielhaus Zurich, was something that John Daruwalla took more pride in than he appeared to take in the commercial success of his role as Inspector Dhar. Why wouldn't his German be perfect?
There was also not the slightest edge of sarcasm in Dhar's voice when he spoke to Julia. Farrokh recognized a longstanding jealousy. John D, is more affectionate to Julia than he is to me, Dr. Daruwalla thought. And after all I've done for him! There was a fatherly bitterness to this idea, and it shamed him.
He slipped quietly into the kitchen, where the racket of the apparently never-ending preparation of the evening meal kept him from hearing the actor's well-trained voice. Besides, Farrokh had at first (and falsely) assumed that Dhar was merely contributing to the conversation about the Queen's Necklace. Then Dr. Daruwalla had heard the sudden mention of his own name--it was that old story about "the time Farrokh took me to watch the elephants in the sea." The doctor hadn't wanted to hear more, because he was afraid of the detectable tone of complaint he heard emerging in John D.'s memory. The dear boy was recalling that time he'd been frightened during the festival of Ganesh Chaturthi; it seemed that half the city had flocked to Chowpatty Beach, where they'd immersed their idols of the elephant-headed god, Ganesh. Farrokh hadn't prepared the child for the orgiastic frenzy of the crowd--not to mention the size of the elephant heads, many of which were larger than the heads of real elephants. Farrokh remembered the outing as the first and only time he'd seen John D. become hysterical. The dear boy was crying, "They're drowning the elephants! Now the elephants will be angry!"
And to think that Farrokh had criticized old Lowji for keeping the boy so sheltered. "If you take him only to the Duckworth Club," Farrokh had told his father, "what's he ever going to know about India?" What a hypocrite I've turned out to be! Dr. Daruwalla thought, for he knew of no one in Bombay who'd hidden from India as successfully as he'd concealed himself at the Duckworth Club--for years.
He'd taken an eight-year-old to Chowpatty Beach to watch a mob; there were hundreds of thousands dunking their idols of the elephant-headed god in the sea. What had he thought the child would make of this? It wasn't the time to explain the British ban on "gathering," their infuriating anti-assembly strictures; the hysterical eight-year-old was too young to appreciate this symbolic demonstration for freedom of expression. Farrokh tried to carry the crying boy against the grain of the crowd, but more and more the giant idols of Lord Ganesha were pressed against them; they were herded back to the sea. "It's just a celebration," he'd whispered in the child's ear. "It's not a riot." In his arms, Farrokh felt the little boy trembling. Thus had the doctor realized the full weight of his ignorance, not only of India but of the fragility of children.
Now he wondered if John D. was telling Julia, "This is my first memory of Farrokh." And I'm still getting the dear boy in trouble! Dr. Daruwalla thought.
The doctor distracted himself by poking his nose into the big pot of dhal. Roopa had long ago added the mutton, and she reminded him that he was late by remarking how fortunate it was that mutton usually defied overcooking. "The rice has dried out," she added sadly.
Old Nalin, ever the optimist, tried to make Dr. Daruwalla feel better. In his fragmentary English, Nalin said, "But plenty of beer!"
Dr. Daruwalla felt guilty that there was always so much beer around; the doctor's capacity for beer alarmed him, and Dhar's fondness for the brew seemed limitless. Since Nalin and Roopa did the shopping, the thought of the old couple struggling with those heavy bottles also made Dr. Daruwalla feel guilty. And there was the elevator issue: because they were servants, Nalin and Roopa weren't permitted to ride in the lift. Even with all those beer bottles, the elderly servants trudged up the stairs.
"And plenty of messages!" Nalin told the doctor. The old man was very fond of the new answering machine. Julia had insisted on it because Nalin and Roopa were terrible at taking messages; they couldn't transcribe a phone number or spell anyone's name. When the machine answered, the old man was thrilled to listen to it because he was absolved of any responsibility for the messages.
Farrokh took a beer with him. The apartment seemed so small. In Toronto, the Daruwallas owned a huge house. In Bombay, the doctor had to sneak through the living room, which was also the dining room, in order to get to the bedroom and the bathroom. But Dhar and Julia were still talking on the balcony; they didn't see him. John D. was reciting the most famous part of the story; it always made Julia laugh.
"They're drowning the elephants!" John D. was crying. "Now the elephants will be angry!" Dr. Daruwalla never thought that this sounded quite right in German.
If I run a bath, Farrokh speculated, they'll hear it and know I'm home. I'll have a quick wash in the sink instead, the doctor thought. He spread out a clean white shirt on the bed. He chose an uncharacteristically loud necktie with a bright-green parrot on it; it was an old Christmas present from John D.--not a tie that the doctor would ever wear in public. Farrokh was unaware how the tie would at least enliven his navy-blue suit. These were absurd clothes for Bombay, especially when dining at home, but Julia was Julia.
After he'd washed, the doctor took a quick look at his answering machine; the message light was flickering. He didn't bother to count the number of messages. Don't listen to them now, he warned himself. Yet the spirit of procrastination was deeply ingrained in him; to join in John D. and Julia's conversation would lead to the inevitable confrontation concerning John D.'s twin. As Farrokh was deliberating, he saw the bundle of mail on his writing desk. Dhar must have gone out to the film studio and collected the fan mail, which was mostly hate mail.
It had long been their understanding that Dr. Daruwalla deserved the task of opening and reading the mail. Although the letters were addressed to Inspector Dhar, the conten
t of these letters only rarely concerned Dhar's acting or lip-syncing skills; instead, the letters were invariably about the creation of Dhar's character or about a particular script. Because it was presumed that Dhar was the author of the screenplays, and thus the creator of his own character, the author himself was the source of the letter writers' principal outrage; their attacks were leveled at the man who'd made it all up.
Before the death threats, especially before the real-life murders of actual prostitutes, Dr. Daruwalla had been in no great hurry to read his mail. But the serial killings of the cage girls had become so publicly acknowledged as imitations of the movie murders that Inspector Dhar's mail had taken a turn for the worse. And in the light of Mr. Lal's murder, Dr. Daruwalla felt compelled to search the mail for threats of any kind. He looked at the sizable bundle of new letters and wondered if, under these circumstances, he should ask Dhar and Julia to help him read through them. As if their evening together didn't promise to be difficult enough! Maybe later, Farrokh thought--if the conversation comes around to it.
But, as he dressed, the doctor couldn't ignore the insistent flickering of the message light on his answering machine. Well, he needn't take the time to call anyone back, he thought, as he knotted his tie. Surely it wouldn't hurt to hear what these messages were about--he could just jot them down and return the calls later. And so Farrokh searched for a pad of paper and a pen, which wasn't easy to do without being heard, because the tiny bedroom was crammed full of the fragile, tinkling Victoriana he'd inherited from Lowji's mansion on Ridge Road. Although he'd taken only what he couldn't bear to auction, even his writing desk was crowded with the bric-a-brac of his childhood, not to mention the photographs of his three daughters; they were married, and therefore Dr. Daruwalla's writing desk also exhibited their wedding pictures--and the pictures of his several grandchildren. Then there were his favorite photographs of John D.--downhill-skiing at Wengen and at Klosters, cross-country skiing in Pontresina and hiking in Zermatt--and several framed playbills from the Schauspielhaus Zurich, with John Daruwalla in both supporting and leading roles. He was Jean in Strindberg's Fraulein Julie, he was Christopher Mahon in John Millington Synge's Ein wahrer Held, he was Achilles in Heinrich von Kleist's Penthesilea, he was Fernando in Goethe's Stella, he was Ivan in Chekhov's Onkel Vanja, he was Antonio in Shakespeare's Der Kaufmann von Venedig--once he'd been Bassanio. Shakespeare in German sounded so foreign to Farrokh. It depressed the doctor that he'd lost touch with the language of his romantic years.