CHAPTER XX
THE DARK MAIDEN LAYELAH
Layelah at length began to make pointed remarks about Almah.
"She loves you," said she, "and you love her. How is it that you donot give each other up?"
"I would die rather than give up Almah," said I.
Layelah smiled. "That sounds strange to the Kosekin," said she, "forhere to give up your love and to die are both esteemed the greatestpossible blessings. But Almah should give you up. It is the women withus who make the beginning. Women generally fall in love first, and itis expected that they will tell their love first. The delicacy of awoman's feelings makes this natural, for if a man tells his love to awoman who does not love him, it shocks her modesty; while if a womantells a man, he has no modesty to shock."
"That is strange," said I; "but suppose the man does not love thewoman?"
"Why, no woman wants to be loved; she only wants to love."
At this I felt somewhat bewildered.
"That," said Layelah, "is unrequited love, which is the chief blessinghere, though for my part I am a philosopher, and would wish when Ilove to be loved in return."
"And then," said I, "if so, would you give up your lover, inaccordance with the custom of your country?"
Layelah's dark eyes rested on me for a moment with a glance of intenseearnestness and profound meaning. She drew a long breath, and thensaid, in a low, tremulous voice,
"Never!"
Layelah was constantly with me, and at length used to come at anearlier time, when Almah was present. Her manner toward Almah was fullof the usual Kosekin courtesy and gracious cordiality. She was stillintent upon learning from me the manners, customs, and principles ofaction of the race to which I belonged. She had an insatiable thirstfor knowledge, and her curiosity extended to all of those greatinventions which are the wonder of Christendom. Locomotives andsteamboats were described to her under the names of "horses of fire"and "ships of fire"; printing was "letters of power"; the electrictelegraph, "messages of lightning"; the organ, "lute of giants,"and so on. Yet, in spite of the eagerness with which she made herinquiries, and the diligence with which she noted all down, I couldsee that there was in her mind something lying beneath it all--a farmore earnest purpose, and a far more personal one, than the pursuit ofuseful knowledge.
Layelah was watchful of Almah; she seemed studying her to see how farthis woman of another race differed from the Kosekin. She would oftenturn from me and talk with Almah for a long time, questioning herabout her people and their ways. Almah's manner was somewhat reserved,and it was rendered somewhat more so from the fact that her mind wasalways full of the prospect of our impending doom. Each jom as itcame and went brought us nearer to that awful time, and the hour wassurely coming when we should be taken to the outer square and to thetop of the pyramid of sacrifice.
Once Layelah sat for some time silent and involved in thought. Atlength she began to speak to me.
"Almah," said she, "is very different from us. She loves you and youlove her. She ought to give you up. Almah, you ought to give upAtam-or, since you love him."
Almah looked confused, and made some reply to the effect that shebelonged to a different race with different customs.
"But you should follow our customs. You are one of us now. You caneasily find another who will take him."
Almah threw a piteous glance at me and said nothing.
"I," said Layelah, "will take him."
She spoke these words with an air of magnanimity, as though putting itin the light of a favor to Almah; but Almah did not make any reply,and after some silence Layelah spoke of something else.
Not long after we were alone together, and Layelah returned to thesubject. She referred to Almah's want of sympathy with the manners ofthe Kosekin, and asserted that she ought to aim after a separation.
"I love her," said I, with great warmth, "and will never give her up."
"But she must give you up; it is the woman's place to take the firststep. I should be willing to take you."
As Layelah said this she looked at me very earnestly, as if anxious tosee how I accepted this offer. It was for me a most embarrassingmoment. I loved Almah, but Layelah also was most agreeable, and Iliked her very much; indeed, so much so that I could not bear to sayanything that might hurt her feelings. Among all the Kosekin there wasnot one who was not infinitely inferior to her in my eyes. Still, Iloved Almah, and I told her so again, thinking that in this way Imight repel her without giving offence.
But Layelah was quite ready with her reply.
"If you love Almah," said she, "that is the very reason why you shouldmarry me."
This made me feel more embarrassed than ever.
I stammered something about my own feelings--the manners and customsof my race--and the fear that I had of acting against my ownprinciples. "Besides," I added, "I'm afraid it would make youunhappy."
"Oh no," said Layelah, briskly; "on the contrary, it would make mevery happy indeed."
I began to be more and more aghast at this tremendous frankness, andwas utterly at a loss what to say.
"My father," continued Layelah, "is different from the other Kosekin,and so am I. I seek requital for love, and do not think it an evil."
A sudden thought now suggested itself, and I caught at it as a lastresort.
"You have," said I, "some lover among the Kosekin. Why do you notmarry him?"
Layelah smiled.
"I have no lover that I love," said she, "among the Kosekin."
My feeble effort was thus a miserable failure. I was about sayingsomething concerning the Kosekin alphabet or something else of anequally appropriate nature, when she prevented me.
"Atam-or," said she, in a low voice.
"Layelah," said I, with my mind full of confusion.
"I love you!"
She sat looking at me with her beautiful face all aglow her dark eyesfixed on mine with an intense and eager gaze. I looked at her and saidnot one single word. Layelah was the first to break the awkwardsilence.
"You love Almah, Atam-or; but say, do you not love me? You smile atme, you meet me always when I come with warm greetings, and you seemto enjoy yourself in my society. Say, Atam-or, do you not love me?"
This was a perilous and a tremendous moment. The fact is, I did likeLayelah very much indeed, and I wanted to tell her so; but myignorance of the language did not allow me to observe those nicedistinctions of meaning which exist between the words "like" and"love." I knew no other word than the one Kosekin word meaning "love,"and could not think of any meaning "like." It was, therefore, a verytrying position for me.
"Dear Layelah," said I, floundering and stammering in my confusion, "Ilove you; I--"
But here I was interrupted without waiting for any further words; thebeautiful creature flung her arms around me and clung to me with afond embrace. As for me, I was utterly confounded, bewildered, anddesperate. I thought of my darling Almah, whom alone I loved. Itseemed at that moment as though I was not only false to her, but as ifI was even endangering her life. My only thought now was to clear upmy meaning.
"Dear Layelah," said I, as I sat with her arms around me, and with myown around her slender waist, "I do not want to hurt your feelings."
"Oh, Atam-or! oh, my love! never, never did I know such bliss asthis."
Here again I was overwhelmed, but I still persisted in my effort.
"Dear Layelah," said I, "I love Almah most dearly and most tenderly."
"Oh, Atam-or, why speak of that? I know it well. And so by our Kosekinlaw you give her up; among us, lovers never marry. So you take me,your own Layelah, and you will have me for your bride; and my love foryou is ten thousand times stronger than that of the cold andmelancholy Almah. She may marry my papa."
This suggestion filled me with dismay.
"Oh no," said I. "Never, never will I give up Almah!"
"Certainly not," said Layelah; "you do not give her up--she gives youup."
"She never will," said I.
"Oh yes," said Layelah; "I will tell her that you wish it."
"I do not wish it," said I. "I love her, and will never give her up."
"It's all the same," said Layelah. "You cannot marry her at all. Noone will marry you. You and Almah are victims and the State has givenyou the matchless honor of death. Common people who love one anothermay marry if they choose, and take the punishment which the lawassigns but illustrious victims who love cannot marry, and so, myAtam-or, you have only me."
I need not say that all this was excessively embarrassing I wascertainly fond of Layelah, and liked her too much to hurt herfeelings. Had I been one of the Kosekin I might perhaps have managedbetter; but being a European, a man of the Aryan race--being such, andsitting there with the beautiful Layelah lavishing all her affectionsupon me--why, it stands to reason that I could not have the heart towound her feelings in any way. I was taken at an utter disadvantage.Never in my life had I heard of women taking the initiative. Layelahhad proposed to me, she would not listen to refusal, and I had not theheart to wound her. I had made all the fight I could by persisting inasserting my love for Almah, but all my assertions were brushedlightly aside as trivial things.
Let any gentleman put himself in my situation, and ask himself what hewould do. What would he do if such a thing could happen to him athome? But there such a thing could not happen, and so there is no usein supposing an impossible case. At any rate I think I deservesympathy. Who could keep his presence of mind under suchcircumstances? With us a young lady who loves one man can easily repelanother suitor; but here it was very different, for how could I repelLayelah? Could I turn upon her and say "Unhand me"? Could I say "Away!I am another's"? Of course I couldn't; and what's worse, if I had saidsuch things Layelah would have smiled me down into silence. The factis, it doesn't do for women to take the initiative--it's not fair. Ihad stood a good deal among the Kosekin. Their love of darkness, theirpassion for death, their contempt of riches, their yearning afterunrequited love, their human sacrifices, their cannibalism, all hadmore or less become familiar to me, and I had learned to acquiesce insilence; but now when it came to this--that a woman should propose toa man--it really was more than a fellow could stand. I felt this atthat moment very forcibly; but then the worst of it was that Layelahwas so confoundedly pretty, and had such a nice way with her, thathang me if I knew what to say.
Meanwhile Layelah was not silent; she had all her wits about her.
"Dear papa," said she, "would make such a nice husband for Almah. Heis a widower, you know. I could easily persuade him to marry her. Healways does whatever I ask him to do."
"But victims cannot marry, you said."
"No," said Layelah, sweetly, "they cannot marry one another, but Almahmay marry dear papa, and then you and I can be married, and it will beall very nice indeed."
At this I started away.
"No," said I, indignantly, "it won't be nice. I'm engaged to bemarried to Almah, and I'm not going to give her up."
"Oh, but she gives you up, you know," said Layelah, quietly.
"Well, but I'm not going to be given up."
"Why, how unreasonable you are, you foolish boy!" said Layelah, in hermost caressing manner. "You have nothing at all to do with it."
At this I was in fresh despair, and then a new thought came, which Iseized upon.
"See here," said I, "why can't I marry both of you? I'm engaged toAlmah, and I love her better than all the world. Let me marry her andyou too."
At this Layelah laughed long and merrily. Peal after peal of laughter,musical and most merry, burst from her. It was contagious; I could nothelp joining in, and so we both sat laughing. It was a long timebefore we regained our self-control.
"Why, that's downright bigamy!" exclaimed Layelah with fresh laughter."Why, Atam-or, you're mad!" and so she went off again in fresh pealsof laughter. It was evident that my proposal was not at all shocking,but simply comical, ridiculous, and inconceivable in its absurdity. Itwas to her what the remark of some despairing beauty would be among uswho, when pressed by two lovers should express a confused willingnessto marry both. It was evident that Layelah accepted it as a ludicrousjest.
Laughter was all very well, of course; but I was serious and felt thatI ought not to part with Layelah without some better understanding,and so I once more made an effort.
"All this," said I, in a mournful tone, "is a mere mockery. What haveI to say about love and marriage? If you loved me as you say, youwould not laugh, but weep. You forget what I am. What am I? A victim,and doomed--doomed to a hideous fate--a fate of horror unutterable.You cannot even begin to imagine the anguish with which I look forwardto that fate which impends over me and Almah. Marriage--idle word!What have I to do with marriage? What has Almah? There is only onemarriage before us--the dread marriage with death! Why talk of love tothe dying? The tremendous ordeal, the sacrifice, is before us andafter that there remains the hideous Mista Kosek!"
At this Layelah sprang up, with her whole face and attitude full oflife and energy.
"I know, I know," said she, quickly; "I have arranged for all. Yourlife shall be saved. Do you think that I have consented to your death?Never! You are mine. I will save you. I will show you what we can do.You shall escape."
"Can you really save me?" I cried.
"I can."
"What! in spite of the whole nation?"
Layelah laughed scornfully.
"I can save you," said she. "We can fly. There are other nationsbeside ours. We can find some land among the Gojin where we can livein peace. The Gojin are not like us."
"But Almah?" said I.
The face of Layelah clouded.
"I can only save you," said she.
"Then I will stay and die with Almah," said I, obstinately.
"What!" said Layelah, "do you not fear death?"
"Of course I do," said I; "but I'd rather die than lose Almah."
"But it's impossible to save both of you."
"Then leave me and save Almah," said I.
"What! would you give up your life for Almah?"
"Yes, and a thousand lives," said I.
"Why," said Layelah, "now you talk just like the Kosekin. You might aswell be one of us. You love death for the sake of Almah. Why not bemore like the Kosekin, and seek after a separation from Almah?"
Layelah was not at all offended at my declaration of love for Almah.She uttered these words in a lively tone, and then said that it wastime for her to go.