‘I’m so sorry Sienna. It wasn’t my intention. I never thought that something so terrible would ever happen to you,’ he replied, softly.
‘But it was okay to leave me if you thought nothing would happen to me?’ she asked angrily.
‘No, that’s not what I meant,’ he replied.
‘Then what happened? Why did you leave? Why didn’t you come back?’ she demanded.
He sighed, ‘It doesn’t matter now. It won't change anything.'
'It might. I deserve an explanation. Look at me,' she said, pulling the sleeve back from her shoulder, exposing four claw marks across her back.
Mortified he ran his fingers gently across the visible scars. ‘I should never have taken you there. And for that, I’m truly sorry,’ he tried to explain.
She shook her head, frustrated, ‘I’m not looking for an apology. I need an explanation.’
‘I can’t explain it to you, Sienna. If you had any idea, you would run, and I couldn't bare it.'
'I will not run. I haven’t yet, have I?'
‘We are just not the same – you and I. We will never work.'
‘What are you talking about? You’re confusing the hell out of me.'
‘It’s for the best. Trust me. We just need to stay away from each other.'
'How do you know what’s best for me?' she demanded.
'I don't, but, for now, I should figure this out by myself.'
'You’re driving me nuts and you’re being silly.'
'Silly? You think I’m being silly? You almost died Sienna, and it was entirely my fault,' Kai scowled. Sienna looked at the ground and took a small step closer to Kai. Her presence made his resolve weaken and his heart beat faster, and his throat became tight.
'I cared for you Kai. Why did you just leave me? How could you be so cruel?' she asked again.
He had to compose himself, and with all of his senses, he tried to draw away from her, but there was something about her that mesmerised him, making it harder to move away from her. He looked at her silently, touching her face gently with the back of his hand. 'And I care for you. That's why I need to stay away from you. I’m bad news. I don’t want to hurt you,' he said, gently running a finger across her cheek.
'You won’t,' she said, determined.
'Well, I can’t take the chance. I will not risk it,' Kai said stubbornly.
'What’s with the drama, Kai? It’s not like you to hurt me or anyone else for that matter? You just took off and left me there to be torn apart by animals, but I knew you had a reason. You do have a reason, don’t you?’ She turned his face towards her, forcing him to look straight at her.
He could see she was angry. His resolve crumbled - all he wanted to do was kiss her and hold her. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be alright. But he was uncertain about his future and didn’t know how to handle his newfound anatomy yet. Every essence of his body was screaming for her. He wanted to make her understand how much she meant to him and that he would never allow anything or anyone to hurt her again, if he could prevent it.
'You’re freezing,' he said, changing the subject. He took off his coat and placed it over her shoulders.
'I can handle it,' she said tensely.
A slight smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, but fell away quickly. Before he could say anything more, she reached up on her toes and kissed him, taking his breath away. With her lips on his, all his objections suddenly melted away. His heart felt like it would jump right out of his chest. His mind was telling him no, but his heart couldn't bear keeping her at arm’s length. He slowly wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer into his embrace. Slowly, he pulled away and looked at her.
'Do you know how long I’ve waited to be with you. I didn’t leave you, Sienna. I was there the whole time,' he said, kissing her softly on the forehead and closing his eyes. ‘But it’s better for you if I leave it where it ended and stay away from you. Whatever this could have been between us has to end. It’s better that way...’ he trailed off, unconvinced.
‘Kai, don’t. Don’t do this, and what do you mean you were there?’ Tears formed in her crystal blue eyes.
‘It’s for the best,’ he repeated.
‘You don’t know what you’re saying,’ her voice faltering.
‘Yes, I do,’ he breathed, ‘I just don’t have space for this in my life right now.’
‘What? What can be so difficult that we cannot deal with it together?’ she asked shocked, taking a step back.
‘You need to move on Sienna. Find a guy that doesn’t have issues. I have issues.’
‘And you think I don’t?’ she asked as tears rolled down her cheeks.
The pain he was causing her was tearing him apart. ‘I can’t ... I can’t do this. I’ve to go.’ Shaking his head he tried to convince himself this was the right thing to do.
‘Please don’t go,’ she begged.
‘I have to,’ he said, turning away and heading into the dark alley, leaving her behind. He knew he was walking away from the one true thing that he had in his life.
CHAPTER 11
As Kai walked away from Sienna, he could feel her pain radiating through him, mixing with emptiness of the dark alleyway, slowly sucking him in. Her silent tears rang like rain drops hitting a rooftop. He prayed that Sienna wouldn’t try to follow him. There was a new world waiting for him, and he knew he had to go at it alone. Someday she would forget him. He hoped that she would find someone who would take good care of her. Kai would become a distant memory – a faded, ridiculous dream that was more like a fiction novel than reality.
Nothing made sense to him and he did not know what to believe anymore - what was real and what was make-believe. His entire life seemed to have turned into a never-ending horror film. The further away he got from the bookstore, the darker the alley became, with only the faint glow of a half-moon illuminating his path. This didn’t bother him, as he suddenly realised that he was able to see like a cat in the dark. He noticed his steps become louder as the darkness and a half-hearted moon became his only companion, but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore. He had to face his reality. The further he stalked into the night, the more pronounced his fingernails became, making him angry.
I need to learn how to control this, he thought. But the harder he tried, the less he could control his feelings, and the more his new shape and form took control of his body. He knew it would cause havoc if he stuck around town and somebody saw him while this was happening, so he headed home through the forest. The only things that could see him here were the animals with which he shared his days and they didn’t care – he was now one of them.
The painful change didn’t last long as his movements became eloquent as his elongating muscles stretched out in front of him, tearing every piece of clothing he had on. His hands – now paws - touched the ground as he made a break through the thick bushes, running away from the life he needed to leave behind. Things were now out of his control. A new sense of freedom overwhelmed him as the cold air nipped at his face. Running like this seemed so natural, as if he was born to move like this. But he fought these thoughts; disgusted by the comfort his new form was providing him – wishing it away.
The moon was disappeared as the thick trees overhead shielded him, like a mother protecting her child. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through his shoulder and his heavy body fell to the ground in a slump. Fear struck his heart as he glimpsed behind him before being tackled to the ground by some unknown source. He bared his teeth and growled in pain.
A sharp knife stuck out of his shoulder, making it difficult to fight back. He slashed at the attacker with his razor sharp claws, hoping to deter whoever was attacking him. His attacker jumped back as his claws slashed flesh, leaving deep, seeping wounds.
‘What the…’ the attacker yelled. Kai rose up onto his hind legs, trying to regain his balance. He ripped the knife from his shoulder and threw it aside. In front of him was Astrid, glowing.
‘
Come on pussycat. You too scared to play?’ she hissed, flashing elongated fangs. Her eyes seemed different – more prominent, even frightening. ‘Aren’t you going to say something pussy?’ she teased.
Kai stared at her, confused but somewhat interested. ‘What the hell … what are you and what do you want?’
‘Oh come now my little black pussycat, I won’t bite ... much,’ she teased, moving gracefully around him, playing with him.
‘I said ... what are you?’
‘Oh, you can call me a ... well, how shall I phrase it ... friend?’ Astrid giggled out loud.
‘You are really working on my nerves!’ he growled, getting ready to pounce if she made any sudden movements.
‘Ooh, a feisty one. I knew you would be from the moment I saw you. And look at you now. Isn’t it exciting! Such a big and fierce leopard. Very impressive.
‘However, I didn’t see the “cat” thing coming. I thought more along the lines of vampire, but hey, we can’t all choose what our shapes will be when we finally transform.
‘I, at least, thought you would change into something, well, less old-school. There hasn’t been a black leopard around these parts in years. But, I must say, I like the whole black-spotted look. It’s fitting,’ she snickered.
‘What are you talking about?’ Kai asked, even more confused.
‘Oh, come on Kai, don’t play coy with me,’ she thundered. ‘Do you really think that you’re that special? You aren’t the only one here my little kitty.
‘Our kind is everywhere - werewolves, vampires, goblins, fairies and all kinds of supernatural beings. We surround you, everywhere, and you don’t even know.’
Kai kept his gaze focussed steadily on Astrid. ‘You mean there are more of you ugly things out there?’
Laughing loudly, Astrid suddenly jumped forward and grabbed Kai tightly around the neck. He responded fiercely and they stumbled to the ground. Astrid tried with all her strength to keep him down, but Kai was stronger and flung her against a tree, splitting it in half as her cracking spine hit against it. She fell to the ground, unconscious. He stooped down to see whether she was breathing, when he heard a strange sound. Her slumped body lay broken on the ground, but her bones were starting to reattach, one by one, the vertebrae replacing itself like Lego blocks being stacked on top of each other. Kai stood back in awe and watched the scene unfolded in front of him. He couldn’t believe what was happening. In one swift movement, Astrid was back on her feet, and she now seemed more furious than before.
‘You call me ugly? You Kai, and I, are one and the same. You are no different to me. You might have transformed into a leopard, but our molecules are exactly the same. Yes, we are both human, or so you might think, but we can also change into magnificent beings.
‘Did you really think that humans were the only species on earth? You are so naïve. Just like you thought that you were the only shapeshifter on earth. Please, the ego!’ Astrid laughed shrilly.
‘You and I are nothing alike!’ Kai growled.
‘Maybe not in transformation, but our anatomy is exactly the same.’
‘How?’ he demanded.
‘Ugg, toddlers, so inexperienced,’ she said, absent-mindedly.
‘You know, you are really starting to tick me off,’ Kai warned.
‘Little kitty, we are both hunters, and a part of the supernatural realm that has been around for thousands of years. Yes, humans might have placed us all in different categories and added their own little fairytales to it, but we are not that much different.
‘We both feast on flesh, but you my friend are the weak kind ... such a pity that you like random little animals. We could have had such fun together,’ she sighed. ‘I, on the other hand, feast on blood – human blood, of course,’ she smiled slyly.
‘So, you’re a vampire?’ Kai asked matter-of-factly. ‘In human terms, yes. That’s just the name they created to distinguish between our various forms. Creative little things, those humans,’ Astrid said condescendingly.
‘So how can we be the same?’
‘Oh my little kitty, like I said before, we are all one of the same being ... vampires, werewolves, were-leopards or panthers, those stupid fairies, goblins and elves, you name it,’ she said, pacing up and down with her hands clamped together. ‘I guess there’s just something differentiating in our different personalities that triggers what we will transform into when we finally turn of age,’ Astrid explained.
‘Turn of age?’ Kai asked, his curiosity prickled.
‘Eighteen! When we turn eighteen!’ she replied impatiently. Kai crossed his arms, still keeping a close eye on her movements.
‘I thought vampires became that way when they were bitten by other vampires?’
‘I can see that you’ve lived among humans for way too long. That is fictional. We do feed from them, but then they die. Or they live ... if we let them. That’s the end of it. It’s ridiculous if you ask me. We don’t have to bite them to be able to transform them into one of us,’ she laughed devilishly.
‘I honestly don’t know if I should like you or kill you on the spot,’ he replied, astounded.
‘Oh, but I was having so much fun with the latter,’ she smirked stepping forward.
‘Why are you telling me all of this?’
‘If I don’t tell you, then who will? It’s not like you know any others shifters. We’re kind of, scattered and most shifters keep to themselves. Besides, your only link to our world is gone. Miss daddy much?’ she said harshly.
‘How do you know about my father?’
‘Your father was one of us,’ she smiled.
‘What?’ ‘Goodness, yes. However, he was the elusive black leopard which legends are made of. You know, the one everyone around these parts have claimed to see. His genes must have been really strong for you to have turned out to be a were-leopard too.’
‘You mean, you know my father?’ he asked, still trying to digest all the information he’d been given.
‘Nope,’ she said gaily. She stood back and held up her hands, suggesting a truce.
‘You want a truce? You stabbed me and then attacked me like an animal!’ he replied incredulously.
‘Oh come on, I wanted to play. Besides, your wound has already healed. Duh.’ Kai looked at his shoulder and touched the spot where Astrid had stabbed him. It was already healed. All that remained were smears of dried blood. Instinctively, he turned his head and licked the wound to clean the spot.
‘Yuck! Cats. Careful you don’t get a fur ball,’ Astrid laughed.
He looked back at her and shot her a glare.
‘Goodness, then you’re a moody kitty as well.’
‘Can you stop calling me that?’ ‘What?’ Astrid asked, feigning confusion.
‘Kitty. I’m not a kitty. My name is Kai.’
‘Sorry Mr Kai, sir.’
‘You know, you are like two different people. You are nothing like you were when I met you,’ Kai grumbled.
‘Yeah, do you really think humans would take lightly to my fangs, pointy ears and scary eyes in public?’ Astrid shot back, and turned back into her human form.
Now she did seem different. ‘You see, it’s what makes us so appealing to humans. We lock them in our spell, enchanting them, making them want us, and then it is easy to feed off them without all the drama that goes with having to hunt them while they run screaming,’ she grinned.
‘Wow, you really don’t care much about humans do you?’ She smiled, ‘Come on, change back into human form, before you scare the neighbours.’ ‘I don’t know how,’ he admitted.
She sighed, ‘It’s easy; after a few tries you’ll get the hang of it. Just relax your muscles and imagine changing back,’ Astrid advised.
Kai closed his eyes and relaxed, imagining his human form. ‘Wait!’
‘What?’ she asked, startled.
‘I’m naked,’ Kai said, uncomfortable.
‘Oh, yes, well, you probably should have thought about that before you changed
into this humongous beast.’
‘I didn’t plan this.’
‘Just wait here.’ In the blink of an eye she sped away faster than his eyes could follow and before he knew it, she’d returned, trousers in hand.
‘How did you...?’
‘Don’t ask, because I won’t tell.’
‘Fair enough. Do you mind turning around?’
She rolled her eyes and reluctantly turned around. Kai tried to relax his muscles and closed his eyes. As he imagined his human form, he felt his body painfully turning back into his old self. Once he regained his breath, he quickly pulled his trousers on and fastened the buckle.
‘That was easier than I thought.’
‘It will get easier over time. Unfortunately animal-shifters will always feel pain. Your joints and bones shift and there’s nothing you can do about that, I’m afraid,’ she said. ‘Well, I have to go. Going to find me some supper,’ she called excitedly.
‘You mean, a human to drink from?’ Kai asked, only a little disturbed.
‘Of course, silly. I don’t feed on rabbits,’ she quipped.
‘But you haven’t told me everything yet.’
‘You know enough, for now. Don’t worry, you’ll see me again.’
She leaned closer to Kai and gave him a soft peck on the cheek. And as quickly as she appeared, she was gone.
CHAPTER 12
Weeks had passed since Kai last saw Astrid, and faith that he would ever see her again faded with each passing day. He kept thinking about all the things she’d said, which only opened up so many more unanswered questions. He felt trapped, contained at home, figuring out this new life.
All he did was research mythology and ancient legends, reading everything he could get his hands on. It kept him occupied, and his mind somewhat distracted from the things that were really haunting him. He hadn’t seen Sienna since that night at the bookstore and had avoided hallways and the classes at school where he knew she would be.
So far, he’d done a pretty good job of getting by without being noticed. He regularly practiced shifting in and out of form, making it easier by the day. His daily routine had begun to symbolise his newfound alter-ego more often. His cravings for undercooked meat skyrocketed, with vegetables becoming less important. His needs had changed. He was considering leaving Sabie, but he knew he had to finishing school first. Days passed slowly and his interaction with friends dwindled even further. He wasn’t taking phone calls anymore nor was he going out. He became a prisoner in his own home, becoming a recluse from everything that still made him human. Nothing mattered to him anymore now that Sienna was gone. Not even Astrid, the only one who knew about his new life, had stayed around as she’d promised. He searched everywhere for her, and returned to the club and the spot in the forest where they’d met, but she was gone and he couldn’t pick up any trace of her scent. After a while he gave up, ultimately resigning to the fact that she wasn’t going to return. Now, he turned his focus towards finding others of his kind and learning more about his past, his father and the beings of his kind.