CHAPTER 9
Pointing to a Deer and Calling It a Horse
Zhi Lu Wei Ma
Throughout my childhood, the sibling who was closest to me was my third older brother, James. We spent hours playing together and would confide to each other our dreams and fears. With him, I felt that I could discard my vigilance and reveal matters close to my heart. During that awful time, he provided a haven that I desperately needed.
James was the one who dutifully stayed behind in Hong Kong to look after our parents and their business affairs. In their separate wills, they both named him as the executor.
When my oldest sister, Lydia, was seventeen and still a student at Shanghai’s Aurora Middle School, Father and Niang decided to arrange a marriage for her. One Sunday they took her out to lunch and introduced her to Samuel Sung, the thirty-one-year-old son of our family physician, who had just returned from America with an engineering degree. I remember Lydia wandering into my room later that afternoon, looking dreamy and preoccupied. Ye Ye, Aunt Baba, and I were playing cards. She sat down on my bed, refused to join our game, and kept doodling Chinese and English words on a sheet of paper. I finally leaned over and saw that she had scribbled “Mrs. Samuel Sung” in English and Chinese about thirty times. Then she smiled and told us that she had agreed to marry this stranger whom she had just met.
Although Lydia appeared calm and cheerful when she announced this, I felt horrified and frightened on her behalf, wondering if the same fate would befall upon me a few years later.
“Don’t do it!” I blurted before I could stop myself, knowing full well that I was courting disaster in advising her to go against Niang.
“Why not?” she asked defiantly.
“When you marry, you’ll be taken out of school! No more classes! No more schoolmates! No possibility of ever going to college! Not even a high school diploma! How awful!”
“What do you know?” she asked petulantly with a toss of her head. “What’s so wonderful about school anyway? It won’t be so bad not to do algebra or geometry again. I can just see Teacher Peng’s face when I tell her tomorrow that I haven’t done my math homework and have no intention of doing any more homework from now on. Math is a complete waste of time!”
“Is that why you’re agreeing to this marriage?” I asked incredulously. “So you won’t have to do any more math?”
“Don’t be so stupid! Of course not! Father has promised me a great big dowry! Twenty-five thousand American dollars! Who needs a high school diploma with that type of money in the bank. I’ll be set for life!”
Thirty years later, when we met again in Beijing, she no longer thought that she had made the right decision at seventeen. Mired in a loveless marriage and living in poverty in Father’s Tianjin house with six other families, she sobbed out the sorry tale of her unhappy life in Communist China.
“I was a fool to have trusted Father and Niang at that stage of my life!” she complained bitterly. “Compared to all of you, my life has been a disaster. When I heard that they had sent all my brothers and then even you to university in England, I felt so wretched and depressed. At seventeen, I was naive and weak. They wished to be rid of me. So they devised this plot to shift their burden to someone else, and I walked right into it. As a result, I don’t even have a high school diploma or any skills whatsoever to support myself.
“Over the years, I have repeatedly written to our parents begging them for help, without ever receiving a reply. Niang is a sick woman seething with hate. I know her well. What she enjoys most are intrigues. The more everyone suffers, the happier she is.
“You are the only one in our family who has the courage to go against Niang and do what is right. I know that I am asking a lot of you. You might even get disowned yourself if Niang finds out that you are helping us. I want nothing for myself. But I beg you to help my two children, especially my son. Please give him a chance and sponsor him to go to university in America.”
On returning to California, my husband, Bob, and I helped Lydia’s family escape from Communist China and emigrate to the United States. Like the proverb that says yi yuan bao de, “No good deed will go unpunished,” Lydia secretly resented our assistance and began to hate us. To our faces, she deferred to us and continued to flatter us, but behind our backs, Lydia started her campaign to slander me in weekly letters to Niang.
Blithely unaware of the conspiracy brewing all around, Bob and I returned to Hong Kong in September of 1990 to attend Niang’s funeral. As usual, James met us at Kai Tak Airport. He was alone and looked very tired. Almost immediately, I sensed a difference in him that was hard to define. I put it down to the stress of looking after Niang in her last illness. That evening after dinner, the three of us took a long walk around our hotel for almost an hour. A few times James seemed almost ready to say something, but the words did not come. He had kept the secret so well for so long that it was now impossible to admit what he had known for some time. He was fundamentally a decent man and knew that I loved, admired, and trusted him. As we went around and around the hotel in the steaming heat, I felt his pain and wanted to reassure him. So I told him that the worst was over. Niang was irrevocably dead and he was now a free man. I did not know that by saying this I was making things worse. My words of sympathy embarrassed him and seemed to deepen his discomfort. As we went around again for the last time, I could see the sweat pouring down his face like tears. Still he kept his tie firmly knotted and his jacket on and said nothing.
The last time James and I saw each other alone was the day after I discovered Lydia’s letters to Niang. He refused to read any of the letters that I tried to show him, telling me that they were private and that he was going to burn them. I mentioned a particular missive in which Lydia described her daughter Tai-ling’s wedding. “In front of over one hundred guests,” Lydia reported to Niang, “Adeline had gotten drunk. She stood up and denounced my children and me in a loud voice, using many swear words. All conversation ceased and everyone stared at us. The situation became so embarrassing that I had no choice but to dismiss Adeline from the wedding banquet and send her away.”
“Yes!” James said in a wooden voice, “That’s what Lydia claimed!”
With a pang I realized that he and Niang had discussed this incident between them. Had Niang shared all of Lydia’s letters with him week after week? And had he not said one word in my defense? Why had he not given me any warning while this was going on?
“Did Niang believe Lydia?”
James shrugged his shoulders. “What does it matter whether Niang believed her or not? Besides, it’s all water under the bridge. Niang is dead and her will is final.”
“It matters because the truth matters. What do you think, James? Do you believe Lydia?”
James avoided looking at me and muttered, “I think the truth lies somewhere in between….”
“Oh, James! What has come over you? How can you sit there and say something like that? Why are you zhi lu wei ma, ‘pointing to a deer and calling it a horse’? By doing so, do you not see that you will be unable to face yourself from now on?”
The chosen messenger, who was a follower of Prince Hu Hai, took the forged letter and rode day and night to the Great Wall. When he arrived, he identified himself as a special envoy sent by the emperor. Next he requested that Prince Fu Su, General Meng Tian, and Assistant General Wang Li all be present. In front of the three men, he presented his credentials in the form of the matching half of the tiger tally (du hu fu).
The tiger tally was a traditional token by which Qin rulers bestowed power on their military generals. Forged in the shape of a tiger, it was cleaved into two halves. The right half was retained by the monarch while the left half was given to the commander in chief at the frontier (or battlefield). When the two halves tallied, it proved that an order came directly from the emperor and had to be instantly obeyed.
Meng Tian pulled out his half of the tiger tally hanging around his neck and demonstrated to everyone that the two halv
es fitted seamlessly. The four men fell to their knees and showed their respect by touching their foreheads to the ground, first toward the direction of the absent emperor, then to one another.
The messenger rose and handed to Prince Fu Su the edict from his father, together with His Majesty’s favorite sword. He said, “The emperor wishes you to read the message out loud to everyone present.”
On hearing the emperor’s harsh words, they were all stunned. Prince Fu Su read it aloud again, and this time his voice was choked with tears. Never for a moment did he doubt that the letter came from his father. Without a word, he held the sword in his hand and entered an inner room in preparation for killing himself.
Meng Tian tried to restrain him. He ran after him and said, “Your Highness, do not act in haste! Something is not right. Your father has been away from Xianyang for nine months. All this time, although he has not established a crown prince, he had enough confidence in the two of us to empower me with the command of 300,000 troops and for you to be my overseer. These are signs that he trusts us and wishes us to learn responsibility and leadership. Yet, upon the arrival of a single letter, you are about to slit your own throat. How can you be so sure that this is your father’s true intention? I suggest that we send back a request for clarification. If he should confirm our death sentences a second time, surely it will not be too late then for us to die.”
But Fu Su was adamant. With tears running down his cheeks, he said, “Only yesterday, you and I spoke of our dreams and made our plans together. After what we have gone through, you must know that you are closer to me than a brother. My only regret is that I must now bid you farewell. I have no doubt that the messenger’s tiger tally came from my father.”
At that moment the messenger entered the room. He picked up the emperor’s sword, which was lying on the mat, unsheathed it, knelt, and presented the naked weapon respectfully to Prince Fu Su. “It is His Majesty’s command that the deed be done at once!” he urged. “I beg Your Highness to honor your father’s wishes.”
Taking the sword in his right hand and clasping Meng Tian’s arm with his left, Fu Su said sadly, “When a father orders his son to commit suicide, what sort of son am I that I should send back his order for confirmation? You would not think much of me if I were to disobey my father.”
With these words Fu Su killed himself with his father’s sword.
Meng Tian remained suspicious. He summoned Wang Li into the inner room and asked the messenger to leave them alone. The two officers wept while kneeling by the side of their dead prince’s body. After a long silence, Wang Li said, “As far as I am concerned, you are my commander and will always be my commander. Wherever you go and whatever you do, I shall follow. If you need anyone arrested, give the order and it will be done.”
Meng Tian gritted his teeth and replied, “The emperor’s edict simply makes no sense! For years now, Fu Su and I have fought together side by side. His father entrusted us with the best and brightest of his imperial forces against the northern nomads. We have the heart and mind of every soldier in the hollow of our hands. Yet despite all our hard work, he sentences us to death!
“Why did the Emperor not give any indication of his displeasure before handing us our death sentences? My brother Meng Yi, who has been traveling with His Majesty for the last nine months, sent me a letter not too long ago full of hope and good cheer. If anything untoward was happening at court, surely Meng Yi would have forewarned me.
“The two of us both know that I can easily have the messenger arrested and demand a full inquiry. Most of my men will follow me to the ends of the earth. But it is tantamount to declaring rebellion against His Majesty. This I cannot do.
“You and I, Wang Li, we have been comrades in arms as well as friends for many years. My loyalty to the emperor demands that I now order you to put me in prison. Send the messenger back to inform His Majesty that Meng Tian feels he has committed no crime and does not deserve to die. But alas! Prince Fu Su is no more!”
The messenger placed Meng Tian under guard and immediately transferred him south to Yangzhou, to be imprisoned hundreds of miles away from his power base at the northern frontier. Before leaving, he also appointed a former retainer of Li Si to be the military protector of Assistant General Wang Li and the mighty Qin army.
He then hurried back to report to the plotters, who were still acting out the charade of being on tour with the emperor. Since Fu Su was now safely out of the picture, Hu Hai suggested releasing Meng Tian and reuniting him with his brother Meng Yi, who had just completed his assignment and was awaiting the group in Xianyang.
But the eunuch Zhao Gao said, “Meng Yi has recently gone back to the capital and is, of course, unaware that your father is dead. Already he has requested to see His Majesty as soon as we return. I should tell you that your father has wanted to name you as heir apparent for a long time. He knew how capable you are and that you will make a great emperor. However, whenever the subject was raised, Meng Yi would oppose your appointment. He obviously prefers Fu Su, and I foresee trouble if the Meng brothers are released, especially when they learn of the emperor’s death. The Meng family name is renowned, and the brothers have many followers. To prevent future problems, Your Majesty should have them executed.”
They sent word for Meng Yi to be arrested and placed in a prison in Dai, far from his older brother. Meanwhile, to maintain the pretense that nothing untoward was happening, the conspirators continued on their journey and visited the northwestern segment of the Great Wall. They let it be known that the emperor was still unwell and was compelled to stay in his coach. But the weather grew hot since it was high summer, and the emperor’s decaying corpse began to give off an increasingly unpleasant smell.
To hide the odor, Li Si gave word that the emperor had developed a sudden craving for salted abalone. As the royal entourage sped back toward the capital, the carriages rumbled down the straight, tree-lined imperial highways loaded with innumerable pounds of stinking shellfish. Bystanders shouted, “May the emperor live for ten thousand years!” and children waved banners to welcome home their sovereign, without realizing that the Lord of All That Is Under Heaven had been dead for some time.
After returning to Xianyang, Li Si made the formal announcement of the emperor’s death and the ascension of twenty-year-old Prince Hu Hai to the throne as Qin Ershi (Qin’s Second Emperor). Under strict security precautions, a grand funeral was held in September 210 B.C.E., and the First Emperor was buried in the mausoleum he started to build as a teenager.
The Second Emperor proclaimed that it was unfitting for his father’s concubines who had borne no children to be sent elsewhere. He ordered that they were to accompany his father on his last journey. This resulted in the death of many women who were interred with the First Emperor in his tomb.
Someone reminded the Second Emperor that the craftsmen who worked on the tomb would be fully cognizant of the secret weapons installed there. Therefore, when the mechanism had been successfully assembled and tested, he ordered both the inner and outer gates of the tomb to be closed and sealed, trapping the workers and condemning them to die in terror and darkness.
He summoned Zhao Gao and said to him, “Man’s life on earth is not much longer than the time it takes for a team of six colts to run past a fissure in a wall. Now that I am emperor, I wish to enjoy myself constantly: listening to music that is pleasant to the ear, looking at scenes that are beautiful to behold, and delighting in activities that give me joy until my life span reaches its natural conclusion. What do you think?”
“These are the thoughts of an enlightened ruler!” Zhao Gao replied. “One who is muddleheaded and inept would never possess such insight. Your Majesty is entirely correct in his thinking.”
“I have noticed that some of the chief ministers are disrespectful and do not appear to think much of me. Unfortunately, they are rather prominent and have great power. What can I do?”
“I have been wanting to speak of this for a long time bu
t have not dared,” Zhao Gao replied. “The other princes are all older than Your Majesty, and the chief ministers were all appointed by your father. They are suspicious of the plot that we carried out in Sand Hill and are resentful that you are the one on the throne. I am seriously concerned about this state of affairs on your behalf.
“I suggest that you make the laws stricter and the penalties more severe. See to it that the accused parties implicate others and that punishment extends not only to the criminal but to his entire family. Eliminate those ministers who disapprove of your actions, and get rid of your disgruntled relatives. Strike terror into their hearts. This is the time, not to learn the arts of peace, but to make firm decisions through brute force. Enrich the poor and elevate the humble. Surround yourself with those whom you trust. Appoint those with whom you are intimate. Having benefited from your largesse, the new officials will be forever grateful to your generosity. Your Majesty may then rest peacefully, indulge in your desires, and live life to the full. What can be better?”
The Second Emperor agreed and appointed Zhao Gao as palace chamberlain and special envoy, entitled to arrest, examine, and try anyone who was suspected of being disloyal to the throne.