“Thanks,” I said, pleased that she liked it, since everything in this house was bought with her in mind.
I sat on the loveseat, and Natasha sat in the chair next to it, which was turned a bit to the side so that we could be face to face while we talked. Once she was settled, I handed her the glass of wine, then settled back into my seat.
“But,” I prompted, wanting to pick up where we’d left off.
“Like I said at Prime Beef,” Natasha began. “After my mom passed, I was afraid that I was just like her, destined to love someone so much . . . to love you so much that if anything happened to you, or you left me, I’d never be able to recover. So, I did kind of a preemptive strike, and decided to leave you before things got even more serious between us.”
“I think things were already as serious as they could be,” I put in, my heart still raw at the memory.
Natasha looked at me sadly.
“Yeah, I guess that’s what I found out. I was devastated, and I missed you terribly, and the thought of meeting someone else was never even an option. So, yeah, it was already too late. We’d already found each other and the damage had been done. But, I also found out that my life wasn’t over because we weren’t together. I still had my sisters and we opened this business together, became successful, and I was able to be happy.”
Even as her words hurt, I wanted that for her. I wanted her happiness.
“But . . . it’s only a modicum of happiness. There’s something missing. And, although I now know that I can live a life without you, I also know that it’s not a full life. I’ve missed you, and as much as I’ve tried to push you away and keep my feelings at bay, I know with you, I can be truly happy.”
I waited, wanting to let her say everything she needed to before butting in with my own thoughts and feelings.
“After seeing Millie and Jackson, and talking with you a little bit, and what happened tonight, I can’t fight it anymore. Yes, I’m still a little skittish, and I’m afraid of losing who I am now when we’re together. Because when I’m with you, I tend to get overcome with you, and a little lost in you, and I don’t want to get swallowed up in my feelings again.”
Natasha took a sip of her wine, then, realizing I’d been uncharacteristically quiet, looked at me and reached a hand out for mine.
I took it, enjoying the feel of her soft skin beneath my thumb.
“I need to find balance,” she admitted softly. “Do you think that’s possible?”
Natasha ~ Present
I WAITED AND WATCHED JERICHO’S face, hoping his answer would be the one I wanted. The one I needed, because as much as I wanted to be with him, what I said was true, I needed to find the right balance between my worlds, and find a way to merge them all together without any part being left out.
Jericho leaned forward and took my hand in his, running his thumb over the top.
“Of course I think it’s possible,” he replied, and my stomach unknotted. “Natasha, I don’t expect you to give up everything and live only to be with me. I’m not going to lock you up in this house and keep you for myself.”
“I know that,” I began, then stopped. He’d let me say what I needed to, so I’d do the same for him.
“Natasha, we’re older now. Adults with our own businesses, our own friends . . . that doesn’t need to change because we’re together. Yes, when we were young and in school, it was easy to forget everything and everyone else and focus solely on each other, but now we have a different set of responsibilities. Will we get to see each other as much as we did back then, no, probably not, at least not at first, but that doesn’t mean that when we are together that we can’t give each other what we need.”
I nodded, knowing he made sense, but still a little worried about how I’d handle adding Jericho Smythe into the mix.
“I’m not saying it won’t be challenging, but, Natasha, we can make it work. I know we can. Yes, we’re busy, and there’s a lot going on right now, but we’ll figure it out. We’re smart, capable individuals. I have faith in us,” he added with a really cute grin.
“Okay,” I replied. “Let’s do this.”
Jericho sat back and picked up his drink, a content expression crossing his face. He turned his dark eyes to me and asked, “Stay with me tonight?”
“I didn’t bring anything with me,” I stated, even though the thought of staying the night had my body tingling.
“I have stuff you can use,” he replied.
I nodded and sat back to enjoy the rest of my wine.
“So,” he began as he settled in and looked at me fondly. “What do you think of Millie and Jackson getting hitched?”
I smiled, realizing how much I missed just talking with Jericho. He’d always been a great sounding board.
“I’m so happy for them. Before he came along she was happy. Happy in her kitchen and with our business, but since she met Jackson . . . Millie practically glows with happiness. Things were a little rough with Kayla at first, but now, she fills a hole Millie didn’t even know she had. I love seeing the three of them together, and I think Jackson is the best.”
“He is, and after what his ex put him through, he deserves someone like Millie. They really complement each other well, and I’ve never seen him so happy either. I don’t know if I’d say he glows . . . but . . .”
We both laughed.
“They deserve each other,” he stated, and I nodded in agreement.
“And what about Dru? Am I crazy, or is there something going on with her and Mick?”
That stumped me.
“Huh?” I asked, utterly baffled. “Dru and Mick? I don’t think they’ve ever even said more than two words to each other. I mean, she obviously thinks he’s hot, because he is.” Jericho raised his eyebrow, but I just laughed. “But, as far as I know, they don’t know each other.”
“Hmmmm,” was Jericho’s reply.
Needing to know what he seemed to, I jumped up and joined him on the loveseat, turning toward him and punching him lightly on the arm.
“What do you know?” I asked.
He turned toward me, his eyes twinkling in the light, his face gorgeous with happiness.
“Well, when we were at the first engagement dinner the other night, I noticed them eyeballing each other and Mick may have suggested he was interested, but when I said he should go for it, he said something strange.”
“What?”
“He said he had a strict rule against dating his clients, well, he may not have said, dating, but you get the idea.”
“Clients?” I asked, confused. “You are talking about Mick O’Donnelly, the PI, right?”
“That’s the one.”
“But, why would Dru need a PI?”
Jericho lifted a shoulder and said, “I think your sister’s the only one who could answer that.”
“Huh,” I muttered, but my mind was already running wild. There was only one reason I could think of that would cause Dru to hire a private investigator. I didn’t like it one bit, and I know Millie wouldn’t either. And, although I hoped I was wrong, deep down I knew I wasn’t.
“You okay?” Jericho asked, his arm coming around my shoulder.
“Hmmm, oh, yeah, I’ll be fine,” I replied, chewing on my lower lip as I worried. “It’s just, the only thing I can think of, is that she’s trying to find our father.”
Jericho pulled me in close, knowing how much I hated my father for what he did to my mother, and to us, and when we were together I’d told him repeatedly that I never wanted to see that man again as long as I lived, but apparently my sister didn’t feel the same way.
Jericho ~ Present
“NATASHA HAS A MEETING THIS morning, and two more this afternoon, but she’s going to try and stop in for lunch. I was hoping you’d join us,” I told Hector as I watched him prep for today’s lunch meal.
“Why?” Hector asked, not looking up at me.
“Hector,” I said, waiting for him to acknowledge me. When he didn’t, I added, “Lo
ok, I know Natasha isn’t your favorite person . . .”
“Understatement,” he said dryly.
“But,” I went on as if he hadn’t spoken, “you know how important she is to me.”
“I also know what she did to you,” Hector said, still not looking at me, the ass.
“We’re going to give this thing another try. Hector, you know how much I want this, that she’s the one. Please.”
Hector finally looked up, his expression pissed as he pointed his knife at me.
“I was there to pick up the pieces when she left. You were too fucked up to know what that looked like, but I remember with a hundred percent clarity. I get that you’re excited and happy that she’s back in your life, but I need a little more time.”
“Seriously?” I asked, getting pissed even though I understood his reasoning. “So, you won’t have lunch with us?”
He shook his head. “I don’t think it would be a good idea. It wouldn’t go the way you have planned in that big heart of yours.”
I sighed. I realized it was ridiculous to get mad at the one person who’d been there with me through every shitty situation in my life, but I’d been so eager to get the two of them together . . . finally, that it hurt when Hector said no.
“Okay,” I said, my anger leaving as swiftly as it entered. “I get it, but I’m not giving up. She’s not going anywhere and neither are you, so you’ll have to come to terms eventually.”
“I hope so, for your sake,” he replied, and I knew he was talking about her sticking around.
I pushed down the anger that was threatening to bubble back up, instead turning on my heel and heading for my office.
I couldn’t fault Hector for having my back, it just sucked that my dream of my two favorite people loving each other as much as I loved them, would take a lot longer than I’d anticipated.
If it happened at all.
I’d barely crossed the threshold when my phone rang.
Seeing it was Natasha, I picked it up with a grin and said, “Hello, beautiful.”
“Hey, Jericho,” she replied, and I swear, I could hear the smile in her voice. “I have some bad news.”
“What’s that?”
“My second meeting got pushed up, so I won’t be able to come by for lunch.”
“No problem,” I replied, disappointed, but as I looked at my list, I realized I could get a lot more done if I ate lunch at my desk. “Come by for dinner?”
“Actually, we’re helping Millie pack tonight, and were planning to order pizza,” Natasha replied. I could hear her voice getting tense, and knew she was starting to worry about that balance she wanted to find.
“How about this, you guys skip the pizza and I will have one of my guys run over dinner for you and your sisters. Once you’re done, you can send me a text, and either I’ll come to you, or you can come to me.”
“That sounds amazing, much better than pizza. Thanks, Jericho.”
“No problem, babe,” I replied.
“See you later.”
“Bye.”
No sooner had I hung up, then my phone dinged, signaling a text.
O’Reilly’s tonight?
It was from Jackson.
I’m in, I replied.
Great, you can tell me what happened the other night.
The other night?
Yeah, when I texted Natasha your address after you both disappeared during my engagement dinner.
Sorry about that . . . Are you going to be painting our nails and watching The Real Housewives as well?
Stop trying to change the subject. As her soon to be brother-in-law, I need to know your intentions. Come prepared to spill.
Just us?
Nah, all the guys will be there. We’re talking Bachelor party tonight.
Perfect, see you later.
I chuckled, even though I knew Jackson could be relentless when he wanted information. The realization that one day, we could actually be related by marriage, literally warmed my heart. He was a great dude, the best, and as a man who had no family, the thought of actually having some filled me with something that was hard to name.
I mean, yes, I had Hector. But having Natasha, and gaining her sisters, and Jackson and Kayla as well, was almost more than I’d ever hoped for.
So, as I worked my way down my list, checking things off and eating at my desk as I did, it was with a smile on my face and a burst of hope in my heart.
Natasha ~ Present
“WOW,” DRU SAID AS SHE looked around Millie’s now sparse living room. “I can’t believe you’re actually moving out.”
We’d spent the last few hours packing up Millie’s belongings, and were currently sitting on the floor, enjoying the generous spread Jericho had sent over from Prime Beef. There was a salad, a delicious roasted chicken, with asparagus and fingerling potatoes.
So much better than pizza, I thought with a smile.
“I know,” Millie said with a sigh as she picked up her asparagus and took a bite. “Tomorrow the movers will come and it will be official.” She looked around the room, then back at us and added, “You guys, I’ve never lived with a boy before. It’s going to be so weird.”
Dru chuckled and said, “Sexy weird. You’re going to love it.” Then she nodded her head toward me and asked, “What’s this one so happy about?”
Millie looked at me knowingly and replied, “She went to Jericho’s the other night, after the two of them disappeared from our party.”
“Sorry about that,” I said, feeling guilty for leaving her engagement party like that.
“Oh, stop, we’d already had the party for family, and you didn’t miss anything by ducking out early. What I want to know is, what happened between you and Jericho after you left?”
“You may as well just spill, Tash, you know how Millie gets when she wants information,” Dru said, then looked down at her food and added, “Although I’m guessing what ever happened was pretty good, since we’ve never gotten delivery from Prime Beef before.”
I took my time before answering, drawing the tension out a bit, since I never had any news to spill. It was always Millie and Dru with the good stuff.
“Well, I’d overheard him and Belinda at the party. Her mom had tried to set them up, but Jericho never called and he was letting Belinda down easy. Thinking I needed to give him the green light, I told him he should go for it, and he got really mad. I left in a bit of a snit and went back to my apartment, and a few seconds later he was pounding on the door. As soon as I opened it, he jumped me.”
“Ohhh, angry makeup sex, years in the making . . . tell us everything,” Dru said, leaning in as she popped chicken in her mouth as if it were popcorn.
I laughed, the memory making me blush as I thought of how desperate we’d been for each other.
“Anyway, yeah, it was hot. Sex between us had always been good, but that night, it was like . . . uber hot. But, as soon as we came down from the high, I was mortified. After a year of ignoring him and weeks of telling him we could only be friends, I’d hopped on him like a ride at Disney and threw caution to the wind.”
“Nice,” Millie whispered, fanning herself.
“I freaked and ran to the bathroom, needing a little space to get myself together, and when I came back out, he was gone.”
“Jeez, you guys are like a soap opera,” Dru said, laying down on her stomach and placing her chin in her hands. “What happens next?”
“Well, this time I followed him. I got his address from Jackson . . .”
“Which is how I knew,” Millie put in.
“Then took off after him. And, when I got there, you guys . . . his house. It was everything we’d ever talked about when we were together. Our dream home. He found it and has been living there, waiting for me to get my head out.”
“Really, that’s so sweet,” Millie gushed.
“Yeah, yeah, get back to the good stuff. What did he say when you showed up?” Dru asked.
I chuckled at my sister an
d said, “He was surprised, but let me in. He’d thought when I ran out that he’d been too aggressive, or had taken advantage of me. So, we talked it out.”
“You two are like Three’s Company. You need to talk your shit out,” Dru said wryly.
“So, what did you decide?” Millie asked, ignoring her twin.
“We decided to give it a try. Really, give it a go. He knows I’m nervous about losing myself, about turning out like Mom and giving him everything I have, only to have him leave me. But, that fact is, he’s never left me, I was the one who left. He said that he’s known I was it for him since we met in college and that there hasn’t been anyone else but me and never will be.”
“You mean, all these years?” Millie asked, then sighed dreamily. “Oh my God, that’s so sweet.”
“I know, and although my brain hears everything he says, and I know the proof is right there in front of me, he’s proven that his intentions are true. It’s just, in my heart . . . in my gut, I’m terrified. I mean, already today we were supposed to have lunch and I couldn’t, then he asked me to dinner, and I already had plans.”
“Did he get mad?” Dru asked.
“No, not at all, in fact, it was his idea to send us dinner, and he wants us to spend the night together. It’s not him, you guys, it’s me. I feel myself getting consumed by him already. I hated that I had to skip lunch, and that I couldn’t see him for dinner. I miss him, and I find myself wishing I didn’t have these other meetings and appointments getting in my way of spending time with him. This is just what I was worried about, what if I can’t find the balance in my life?”
“Oh, honey, that isn’t you not finding balance or being consumed by someone else. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend all of your time with Jericho. That’s love. I felt the same way about Jackson. Don’t you remember, you guys made fun of me for wanting to hire more people, so that I could free up time to be with him.”