Click.
Click.
I heard heels stomping on the stairs, making me turn. My own mother was standing there at the bottom of the steps, wearing an elegant, long, black gown. Her hair was down in curls and makeup defined her cheeks and eyes.
She was classy and beautiful.
Tori let out a gasp.
"Mother, where are you going dressed like this?"
Just as I blurt that out, the doorbell rang. Tori was the one who moved first and rushed over to open the door which made her trip over the box of garlands.
I followed Tori and saw a man in a fancy suit smiling like an idiot by the door.
An eyebrow rose. "Who are you?"
"Roger, I'm here for Margaret." His words hit me like a cold bucket of water on a December night. I plastered a fake smile on my face.
"Excuse me for a moment, Mr. -Roger-who-is-here-for-Margaret-aka-my-mom." I closed the door. I advanced towards my mom, who shrugged.
"Mother, you have five minutes to explain." Sweat beads formed on her forehead.
"Well, I-I, he's my date." This was the second time I got splashed with icy cold water in December.
"Your date?" Tori was by my side now, equally shocked. There were tear streaks on her cheeks, but she definitely was back to her old self.
I was bewildered. "Yes, my date," Mom replied, confident now.
"What about Dad? Huh? Did you completely forget about him, Margaret?" Those words came out of Tori's mouth, who was wearing a furious expression on her face.
My mom's face softened. "I would never forget about him, but I need to move on. It's been seven years and Roger's really nice."
"MOM! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" I shouted, resisting the urge to shake her shoulders. But then I remembered that she was my mother.
"Lena, don't you dare speak to me like that," she calmly answered.
"Why didn't you tell me, at least tell me!" I exclaimed, waving my hands around.
"Tell you what?" Her reply was so infuriating, I think I could've exploded right there. I stroked an invisible beard with my hand, taking deep breaths.
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe that you're cheating on Dad!" The words left my mouth without any thought. Mom's nostrils flared and her face turned red, the same way they would when she's really mad.
"I'M NOT CHEATING ON YOUR FATHER, HE'S DEAD. DEAD, LENA. HE CEASES TO EXIST, I NEED TO GET MY LIFE BACK."
"I THINK THIS IS WHY I'VE ALWAYS PREFERRED DAD, HE AND I WOULDN'T BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION.”
I froze. The words again left my mouth without any thought, I obviously hurt her. In less than a second, her palm collided with my cheek. Tori sucked in a breath.
"Okay, have fun.” I shrugged, opening the door for her. I hoped that Roger wouldn't still be here, but nooo, he stood there, smiling with pride. It took me all the will in the world not to punch him right there.
Without saying anything, I could see the guilt in Mom’s eyes. She hastily left, slamming the door behind her. After a few seconds of pure silence, I grabbed my coat and put my boots on.
"Where are you going?" asked Tori, biting her lip.
"I need fresh air."
She slid her coat on and put on her brown Uggs. She checked her pockets, making sure the keys were in there. She nodded upon hearing the familiar jingling.
"Take me with you." She stopped to look at the tree.
She locked the door and we headed for Liam's house.
I crossed my fingers, hoping that he'd be there. I wanted to talk to him, tell him everything. As always, I knew he'd listen. Over the week, we’d gotten a lot closer. I figured that seeing him would make me feel better anyway.
Right?
19
What Now?
“It’s too cold for you here, and now, so let me hold both your hands in the holes of my sweater.”
Lena Rose Winter
The cold breeze blew through my hair, as I watched the snow covered pavement. Tori’s and my footsteps crunched in the snow, our pace slow. I had a million thoughts throbbing in my head. I couldn't concentrate, my mind was almost hazy. A thousand questions popped up and infuriatingly, I couldn't find the answer to any of them. A single one stood out, almost like a glowing bird flying through a thick fog.
How could I be such a monster to my own mother?
Strangely enough, I wasn't crying. I only felt confusion, sadness and utter guilt. The pain throbbing in my chest and the weight on my shoulders was enough to make me feel like hell. I deserved that. At that moment, all the memories flooded back, Dad, Mom and I, reunited as big, happy family. All of the birthdays we celebrated together, playing hide and seek and making each other smile. AS childish as that sounds, I missed my daddy.
I was just a little girl who lost her way.
You're wrong. You're not the only one suffering.
I knew that.
All this time, I was concentrating on how I was feeling. Although, I knew Mom was hurting. There were nights when she'd be sure I was sleeping, she’d cry in her room at night. I peeked through the keyhole once and what I saw broke my heart; she was clutching her marriage picture and crying. She'd mumble, "Come back, I miss you."
Those nights were the ones I'd go to sleep with tears on my cheeks.
I never bothered to ask if she was okay and when I did, she'd reply, "I'm fine, just tired."
I'd always mentally agree with her. No, not because of fatigue.
I was simply tired.
Just tired, that's all.
Tired of never being good enough, tired of trying and not getting credit, tired of getting put down, tired of people calling me names, tired of backstabbers, tired of crying, tired of insecurities, tired of being unconfident, tired of being tired.
Still selfish.
I agreed with myself, as weird as that sounds. I should've been compassionate towards Mom. Putting myself in her shoes might've been a good idea.
Imagine having to raise a child, alone. Losing your only love and losing a piece of your soul at the same time.
In a way, Mom needed her own savior, her own Liam. Liam saved me from a dark hole I was trapped in for a long time. He's my Superman. Maybe Roger was Margaret Winter's Batman. What about Tori's hero?
"Tori?" I suddenly asked, feeling déjà-vu.
"Yeah?"
"Did it hurt?"
Her face scrunched up in confusion. She looked quite adorable, almost like a little girl.
"What do you mean?"
"When you saw Daniel with her." I hesitated, fearing that I hurt her. She turned and kicked the snow while walking.
Her hands twitched. "Seeing them together was like having a million arrows clashing through the armor that surrounded my heart. My heart broke like a vase shattering on the floor."
I felt a pang in my chest, because she'd used the same metaphor my dad used to describe heart break.
"I'm really sorry, Victoria," I said gently. The wind blew through tendrils of her hair, as she pursed her lips.
"I loved him," she whispered and something about her voice shook as she said those words.
"Are you sure?" I tucked a strand of my wild hair behind my ear.
"No, I'm not. I don't think I'll ever be able to let go."
At that moment, it was to my complete wonder, as my nineteen-year-old sister resembled a tiny girl, who lost her teddy bear.
"Your superhero will come; I'll make sure of it," I mentally promised.
A comfortable silence set in, as we both had busy thoughts. Her, about Daniel; and I, about her.
How could a beautiful, angelic person like Tori have so much pain bottled up inside?
Everything was possible. Right now, I had to distract Tori from a horrible demon; her own memories.
"Was I being a bitch to Mom?" I blurted out.
There was a long, pregnant silence. I feared her answer. Even if I knew that Tori would always support me, the truth had to be told. And I wanted to hear it from someone I trusted, someone who would never lie to
me.
"Maybe."
I let out a long sigh. "I know."
"I'm sorry, babe." Tori squeezed my shoulder soothingly.
"I'm fine."
It was her turn to say, "I know."
An alarm siren suddenly rang in my head, panic flood all over me.
Oh, no.
"Tori?" I said, urgently. I tugged on the ends of my jacket nervously.
"Yes?"
"I think we're lost," I admitted shyly.
"Are you serious?" she exclaimed, stopping me and holding my shoulders. Her eyes widened and her mouth was wide open, forming a perfect O.
"Yes."
Tori clutched her stomach and started laughing. Her giggles were very contagious, so I joined along. After about five minutes of laughing our bums off, I steadied myself. The light in her eyes returned, as I mentally cheered.
"In what way, exactly, do you find this funny?" I demanded, smiling.
Tori grinned like a Cheshire cat. "Because I knew, I realized that a long time ago."
Her answer took me by surprise.
"You little peanut!"
She smiled and childishly winked at me. My shoulders slumped as I remembered our dilemma.
"But how are we getting back?" I whined. Tori waved her cell phone at me.
"You know how I've been looking at my phone a lot?"
I enthusiastically nodded, resembling a puppy. I've always taken a liking to puppies.
"Well… Your smart, amazing sister was using a GPS this whole time," she declared, her chin up high. I jumped on her to engulf her in a huge hug.
"Anyway, where are we supposed to go now?" I asked, staring at her. In a way, I was grateful.
That girl was like a puzzle that completes me. If it wasn't for her, I would've never enjoyed the perks of having a best friend, knowing how it feels like to have someone behind your back, always there to support you and be by your side.
Her dark eyebrows furrowed in deep thought and then she eyed me with a confused look etched on her features.
"Well, we're on Maple Avenue, so we should turn left and the house would be there! I guess we weren't that lost after all!"
My heart's pace quickened, as I ran a hand through my hair, in hopes of detangling it. I took a peek at my clothing and felt a grimace form on my face. My old, gray sweatpants managed to look presentable, but my baggy, pink, t-shirt made me similar to a homeless teenager.
Liam doesn't mind.
I smiled a little and nodded. He would be the last person in the world to judge me. I ran a hand through my hair, hoping to tame its nest but failed miserably.
Our footsteps softly crunched on the snow, as my heart's pace quickened. Normally, I wouldn't be in this state after not seeing a person for a week but this was Liam. He was different, so unique in every single way. His eyes sparkle mischievously whenever he's planning something, or the way his features are defined, perfectly and indescribably making me drool, interiorly of course. The most extraordinary thing about him is the pair of blue eyes he had. They read me, almost like an open book.
After the incident a week ago, he chose to lay low at school. He never talked to me more than a few sentences, but it was enough. There was a mutual feeling of comprehension between us. He held my hand from time to time and I knew he was still suffering over having an empty house.
"Lena?" questioned Tori, waving her hand in front of my face. I realized that I spaced out, blankly staring at the snow.
"Huh, sorry."
"Is that Liam’s house?"
She nudged my shoulder, pointing at a small, modest house.
Looking at the house hit me hard in the chest, because I could smell the cookies Darla used to make. There were so many memories in that house, and it was hard to imagine that one of its guardians were gone.
I gave Tori the address a long time ago, so she can know where to contact me if I'm late, which never happened.
I noticed a blue, prestigious Jeep parked beside Liam's car.
Whose car was this? I thought, trying to recall any of the neighbors’ car colors. Maybe one of them had come to check up on Liam.
I nodded in confirmation, as my palms became suddenly sweaty. Tori took my hand and ran towards Liam's abode. I struggled to keep up with her; after all, I'd never exactly been the sporty one in the family. My sister, on the other hand, was a soccer freak.
She knocked on the door three times, not even slightly, breathing out of the ordinary.
Whilst I, was panting. I wasn't sure if it was because I was tired, or because I was about to see Liam.
No answer.
Tori's eyes were fiery now, underneath the slightly frozen eyelashes. She tried again, this time a bit harshly.
Still no answer.
My sister was flaming with anger now.
Her palms and fists violently pounded on the door, as her face was red.
"LIAM, OPEN THE DOOR, OR SO HELP ME I'LL-"
She was cut off by the door opening. I expected to meet a drowsy, sleepy Liam, but instead, I was greeted by a slightly lighter shade of Liam's eyes.
Tori and I sucked in a breath at the same time. I gulped.
The guy standing in front of us was a bombshell. His dark golden hair was tousled, as if perfectly messed up to look this way. A few tendrils fell into his beautiful, striking eyes.
Oh, his eyes.
They reminded me of a Caribbean ocean on a perfectly sunny day. Something about him was familiar. Full, beautiful lips, just yearning to be kissed playfully smirked at Tori and me.
He had a mischievous look that often was present within bad boys. He was quite well built, his white plain shirt showed his toned abs. Baggy sweat pants showed that he was comfortable and I felt like an intruder.
What if this was the wrong house?
"Liam, Lena, Liam," I desperately reminded myself.
I opened my mouth to say something, but my throat was completely dry.
"Ey, Liam, you never told me you had such beautiful lady friends," his defined jaw line moved and I realized he was shouting. Captivating voice too. A dazzling smile never left his lips. A strong accent dripped in his words.
"Australian," I thought.
Wait, what? Did he just say Liam?
Liam himself effectively appeared at the doorway, scratching the back of his neck nervously and tiredly. He looked handsome and somewhat a younger version of the magnificent stranger.
"These are Lena and Tori, my friends," said Liam, his lips barely moving. Tori's expression was still agape and I nudged her. She recovered and blinked several times.
The stranger chuckled and then offered us his hand.
I shook his hand, as electricity buzzed. "Oh, so this is the famous Lena?" I felt weak at the knees. I stayed silent, as if any word would even come out of my mouth.
He did the same to Tori, who appeared dumbfounded, star struck. Her eyes twinkled in a way I'd never seen before.
"Hello, I'm Adam Damien Black, Liam's cousin."
I think that's when he winked at me.
20
Estranged Blood
"I'm not the comeback girl, the awkward girl, the hipster girl, or the popular girl. I don’t want a label unless it's your girl."
Liam Christopher Black
It took me a few seconds to process what exactly was happening. My messy state didn't deprive me from seeing Lena literally devouring him with her eyes. I felt my blood boil. That idiot even had the nerve to wink at her!
Liam, man the fuck up, she told you she loved you. Have some confidence in yourself for her sake, you egghead.
I mentally agreed with my mind, if that made any sense. It suddenly clicked in my mind, how Tori was acting so normal about me talking?
Lena told her, duh.
Ah, sometimes I hated my sassy side.
Trust me, the feeling's mutual.
"Hey, Lena?"
My voice seemed to snap her back to reality and I saw that sparkle in her eyes. I felt my heart beat a little f
aster.
"Yeah?"
I shot her a small, sheepish smile. Her eyes met mine and all confidence lost was found. Those chestnut orbs shared my secrets, they were like a beautiful garden full of roses.