It was late afternoon by the time he headed back up to his room. The hayloft felt thirty degrees hotter than the temperature outside, but he sat down at his computer anyway, trying to distract himself. As soon as his inbox opened, he saw the name:
[email protected].
His heart raced as he opened the message.
Hi there, Bodhi,
Still no sign of your dad. I’d be worried if he hadn’t said he was trying to find you. Any sign of him yet?
Christine
Bodhi thought back to all the people he’d worked with in the months before he’d left for New York. Had he told any of them he was going to work for the Darrows? Had he left a trail his dad might be able to follow? He chewed his lip, thinking.
He didn’t think so. He’d grown used to being cautious, a product of leaving home at such a young age and having to stay under the radar. Still, the thought of his dad out there looking for him made him vaguely sick to his stomach.
He realized sweat was rolling down his temples, his shirt sticking to his upper body like a second skin. It was too damn hot. He couldn’t think.
Closing the laptop, he climbed down from the loft and headed to the barn. He saddled Mason, feeding the horse a carrot he’d taken from the kitchen at lunch, and headed across the orchard to the pond, his mind churning with all the scenarios that might result if his dad found him after all these years. Maybe his dad just wanted to reconnect. Maybe he had changed.
Bodhi allowed Mason to pick his way up the hill on his own steam. When they got to the top, Bodhi saw that he wasn’t the only one desperate to cool off; Rose was floating on her back in the middle of the pond, her eyes closed against the sun, slightly shadowed behind a few clouds that had drifted in front of it.
“You always in the habit of watching people sleep?”
Her voice startled him from his reverie. He’d been staring.
“Uh . . . I was . . . I didn’t know . . .”
She righted herself, grinning at him while she treaded water. “I’m just giving you a hard time.”
He sighed his relief, and gave Mason some lead to make his way down the hill
“Hot, right?” she said.
“Hot doesn’t quite cut it,” he said, stopping the horse at the edge of the pond.
“Well, are you going to stand there, or are you coming in?” she asked him.
“I . . . uh . . .” He cleared his throat. “I didn’t bring a suit.”
Her smile got bigger, although he didn’t think it was the sun that turned her cheeks pink. “You were going to skinny-dip? In broad daylight?”
“No! I have . . . um . . . boxers.” Why was he so flustered? It’s not like he hadn’t swum in boxers before. Not like he hadn’t skinny-dipped with a girl for that matter. But this was Rose, and somehow he didn’t want to do any of the things with her the way he’d done them with other girls.
“Aren’t boxers kind of like a bathing suit?”
He thought about the thin fabric of his boxers.
“I’ll turn my back while you get in,” she suggested. “Will that work?” When he didn’t answer, she sighed. “It’s hot, Bodhi. Come on. It’ll be fine.”
She turned her back, treading water while she faced the tree line of the woods that backed up to the pond.
He only hesitated a minute. She was right; it was hot. And once he was in the water, what would it matter?
He dismounted, tying Mason to one of the trees, then pulled off his jeans and T-shirt. He hadn’t felt self-conscious around a girl since he was a kid, but he was self-conscious now, and it didn’t seem to matter that Rose’s back was turned.
He thought about stepping in slow, then decided to put himself out of his misery instead. He dove in from one of the rocks that jutted out over the water. When he came up, Rose was squealing.
“Couldn’t you have dived in a little farther away?” she asked, laughing. “You seem determined to get me wet!”
He laughed. “You’re in the water already.”
He dove under, opening his eyes and making for her bare legs. He gave one of her feet a gentle tug as he swam by, and when he came up, she put her hands on his shoulders and tried to dunk him.
They swam around each other, dunking and splashing, laughing and shouting. They raced from one end of the pond to the other, tying it up in the first two races and finishing it in a tie breaker won by Rose. But just barely.
They both dove under, swimming back to the other side of the pond, emerging only a foot apart in chest-deep water. And then she was right there, so close he could see the water beading on her upper lip, the filtered sun casting faint shadows on her bare shoulders.
It wasn’t that far from one side of the pond to the other, but they were both breathing hard, their eyes locked.
She reached for him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pressing her chest to his. Her face was so close he could feel her breath against his mouth.
“Rose . . .” He didn’t want to hurt her. Didn’t want to leave her. But he would do both, and he hadn’t even warned her.
She put a finger to his lips. “Shhhh . . .”
And then he didn’t know who did it, who moved closer, who eliminated the space between them, but his mouth was on hers, her legs wrapped around his waist, and it was like she’d always been there. Like she’d always been a part of him.
He kissed her like his life depended on it. Maybe it did.
He didn’t know how long they stood there, intertwined like the trunks of two willow trees he’d once seen in Texas, but they didn’t move until the sky opened up above them, rain splattering the water intermittently at first, and then, all at once, in a downpour.
Thirty-Nine
Rose pulled into an open spot in front of Sweet Clementine’s and hopped out of the truck. She was early, but she went in anyway and spent the next ten minutes talking to Marie about the farm, the weather, and the one bit of rain they had gotten two weeks earlier.
“You look happy,” Marie had said when she mentioned the rain.
Rose hadn’t been aware that she was smiling, but she could never think about that day without remembering the first time she and Bodhi had kissed. They’d done a lot of kissing since, though he’d been respectful enough not to push for anything else. Sometimes too respectful, she thought.
Still, the last two weeks had been the best of her life. They laughed and talked, stealing kisses behind the barn, in the orchard, even on top of their horses while they dealt with the herd. He left something on the porch for her almost every day—a new book, a wild buttercup, a bunch of hay twisted into a heart that now adorned the wall above her bed. One time he even left her a bushel of peaches he’d picked at the orchard, and for the first time since her mother had died, she made peach pie. It hadn’t been exactly the same, but for a minute, it was like her mother was right there with her. Bodhi had given her that and so much more.
She couldn’t think about him—about his smile and the way he looked at her, about the special light in his eyes or the way his arms felt around her, the way his heart seemed to beat in time with her own—without smiling. She felt like she’d come out of hibernation. She still missed her mom, but after months in the shadows, she finally felt like she was walking in the sun again.
“Hey, you!” The bell on the door jingled as Marty stepped inside the café. “Am I late?”
Rose shook her head. “I was early.”
“And I’ve been talking her ear off,” Marie said.
Rose laughed. “Not at all. It was nice to have the company.”
Marie waved at the nearly empty restaurant. “Take a seat wherever you like. I’ll bring you some water and menus.”
They chose a seat near the window. After they ordered, Marty took a long sip of her iced tea, studying Rose over the rim.
“What?” Rose asked.
“You look different,” Marty said.
Rose self-consciously touched her braid. “Do I?”
Marty nodded. “I can’t put
my finger on it.”
Rose shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m wearing my hair the same way I always do, and I’ve had these clothes forever.”
Marty adjusted her silverware. “I asked you here to apologize.”
It took Rose a second to realize Marty was actually talking to her. “Apologize? Why?”
“I made you unhappy the last time we talked.” She met Rose’s gaze. “I pushed, and I’m sorry.”
They’d seen each other in passing when Marty came to leave Bodhi’s check every Friday, but they hadn’t really talked since the day at Marty’s house when they’d argued.
“It’s okay,” Rose said.
Marty shook her head. “No, it’s not.”
“Marty, it’s okay.” Rose smiled.
“Wait . . .” Marty sat back in her chair, a slow dawning on her face. “Do you mean . . . ?”
Rose nodded. “You were right.”
“I was right!”
Marie appeared at the table and set down their salads. “Imagine that, Marty. We old women are actually right sometimes.”
Marie had no idea what they were talking about, but Rose still laughed.
“So does this mean what I think it means?” Marty asked.
Rose picked up her salad fork. “I’m not sure. I mean, we’re . . . you know . . . together, but . . .”
“How together is together?”
“Marty!” Rose felt her cheeks get warm. “That’s none of your business.”
“Fine,” Marty said, digging into her salad. “But it’s good? You’re happy?”
Rose took a deep breath. “I am.”
“But?”
“I just don’t know what’s next. I mean, he’s leaving at the end of August.”
“Maybe you should stay in the moment,” Marty said. “You’ve had a rough few months. Take your joy where you can find it.”
Rose finished chewing. “I know. It’s just hard not to think about the future, you know?”
“I do know,” Marty said. “But trust me; it won’t change anything. You can’t anticipate all the things that might happen between now and then. Worrying about them is a waste of the joy you have now.”
Rose grinned. “Someone’s been meditating.”
“Don’t knock it, kiddo.”
“I would never,” Rose said. She hesitated before speaking again. “Have you been in love, Aunt Marty? Since Larry, I mean.”
The ghost of a smile touched Marty’s lips. “There was someone. In Chiang Mai.”
“What was his name?”
“Tseng.”
“What happened?” Rose asked.
Marty seemed to think about it. “He got a job offer in London. I decided to come home.” She shrugged a little. “Not everything is meant to last forever.”
The words dropped like a stone in Rose’s stomach. Did she want her and Bodhi to last forever? Is that why she was scared? Because she knew instinctively that things like that just didn’t happen at her age?
“You didn’t want to go with him?” Rose asked. “To London, I mean.”
“I didn’t know what I wanted.”
“And now?” Rose was almost afraid to hear the answer. She didn’t want Marty to leave again, but she also didn’t like the sadness that had crept into her aunt’s eyes when she talked about Tseng.
Marty smiled a little. “Still not sure.”
Marie brought their sandwiches and refilled their iced tea, then left them alone again. Rose was still thinking about Marty and Tseng, imagining Marty in love in a foreign land, riding on the back of some guy’s motorcycle, her hair streaming out behind her like a banner.
“How’s the little calf?” Marty asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.
“She’s actually better,” Rose said. “She had a rough spell, but we got her through it. She’s even eating more regularly now.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I know you have a soft spot for that one.”
Rose looked down at her plate, thinking of her mother standing next to the animals, petting them with a light in her eyes that made it clear there was nowhere else she’d rather be.
“I do,” she said.
“Your mom was good at breeding,” Marty said. “Always was, even when we were kids. She used to go to the auctions with Pop, and I’d swear she just knew which animals were the best. At first, Dad just indulged her, picking up a cheap little heifer here and there to humor her. But she was always right, and after a while Dad started to really listen.”
Rose nodded. “The animals liked her, too. I think Coco’s sad.”
“Have you been riding her?” Marty asked.
Rose shook her head.
“She needs the exercise, Rose. Have Bodhi do it if you can’t. Your mom loved that horse. She shouldn’t be cooped up in the barn now that the weather is better. The sun will do her good.” She grinned. “It sure has done you some good.”
“Very funny.” But Rose couldn’t help smiling. Marty was right; she needed to take her joy where she could find it.
Forty
“I can’t believe you’re moving now,” Rose said, collapsing on the couch in Lexie’s new living room in the city. “I thought we had the rest of the summer.”
“I know,” Lexie said. “But it’s almost August, and my mom thinks I need some time to get settled, get to know my roommates, et cetera.”
Rose grabbed one of the throw pillows and hugged it to her chest. “Well, it sucks.”
She’d driven down early that morning with Lexie and her parents to help Lexie move in. They’d met Lexie’s new roommate, a tiny blonde named Madison, and spent the rest of the day arranging Lexie’s room and unpacking her clothes. Now it suddenly seemed too real. Lexie’s parents would come back with takeout, they would eat lunch around the tiny table in the living room, and then Rose would ride home with Lexie’s parents while she started her new life in the city.
Rose was still a little envious, but having Bodhi waiting for her on the farm softened the blow. She still didn’t know what the future held for them, but she’d spent the last few days trying to follow Marty’s advice by staying in the moment. Besides, she reasoned, maybe Bodhi would decide to stay. It’s not like he had a family waiting for him somewhere. Maybe he’d want to stay.
Lexie rested her head on the back of the couch and turned to look at Rose.
“You’ll come stay with me?”
“Of course,” Rose said.
“Promise.”
Rose smiled. “I promise.”
“And you’ll think about getting out of that town? I mean, I know you have a hunk of burning love now—”
Rose laughed. “I know that isn’t a saying from Grandma Russell.”
Lexie looked offended. “I heard it in an old song when my dad had control of the radio in the car. Anyway, my point is, I know you have a hot guy and everything, but don’t forget about you. About what you want. Okay?”
“What if they go together?” Rose asked her. “The hot guy and the things I want.”
Lexie grinned. “Even better. Just don’t lose you, Rose. Because I like you.”
She leaned her head on Lexie’s shoulder. “I like you, too.”
“Have you talked to Will yet?” Lexie asked a few seconds later.
“No.”
“Are you going to?”
“I don’t know,” Rose said. “I don’t know how to talk to him now that the thing with Bodhi and me is real.”
Lexie sighed. “I don’t have the answer, but if Will loves you, if he really loves you, he’ll want you to be happy, even if it’s not with him.”
Rose was still thinking about Lexie’s words as she made her way home from the city in the backseat of the Russells’ car. Was it that simple? Could she expect Will to be happy for her even though she’d hurt him? Could she do the same if Bodhi decided he wanted to be with someone else? If someone else made him happier than she did?
She wasn’t so sure.
It was almost five when the Russells d
ropped her off in front of the house. She waved as they drove away, imagining Lexie in the city, surrounded by honking horns and sirens and strangers. The farm was so quiet in comparison, and right then she was glad. Glad that she could see the wind rustle the trees in front of the house, that she could see the herd in the distance, that the only sound she could hear was the tractor as Bodhi made his way up and down the field, turning the long grass into hay.
She shook her head. How could she love a place and want to escape it at the same time?
She walked toward the field where Bodhi was mowing. Climbing over the fence, she stood at the edge of the field, waving to Bodhi as he worked his way toward her in the tractor. She felt a surge of something powerful and full in her chest as he smiled.
When he came closer, he put the tractor in park and reached for her hand. She laughed as he lifted her up into the cab with him. Settling her on his lap, he put the tractor in gear. They didn’t talk. The tractor was too noisy, and they didn’t need words anyway. Instead, she put her hands on his face and kissed him full on the lips, drinking him in like it had been nine weeks since she’d seen him instead of nine hours.
The tractor swerved a little, and they both laughed as he set it straight. Then he kissed her back, and she felt the same raw energy that always seemed to be there when they were together.
Like they couldn’t get enough of each other. Like it would never be enough.
Forty-One
“Let’s see,” Rose said, “we’ve had peach pancakes and peach milk shakes. I think peach cobbler is next.”
Bodhi laughed, squeezing her hand. “Only if you’re sure we won’t explode.”
She looked up at him. “Can’t handle it?”
“No, I’m good,” he said. “Let’s do it.”