Mandy giggled and pulled away. She crawled back into his lap. “I know,” she murmured, curling her arms around his neck again. “I really do love her so much.”
Tray kicked a free chair out for me.
“Thanks.” I dropped into it, still giving my sister a confused look.
Tray frowned, studying me. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” I said quickly. Looking over at Molly, I asked her, “How’d you end up at this table?” Then I cursed when I realized how that sounded. I groaned, wiping a hand over my face. “I’m sorry. I just meant,” gesturing to the odd couple and Tray, “these aren’t your normal peeps. That’s it. No judgment.”
Tray grinned. “Nice save.”
Dylan lifted his hand to Molly. “She said she was your only friend.”
Mandy burst out laughing.
Tray chuckled. “I think she got you back already with that one.”
“My only friend?” I echoed. “She’s not my only friend.” Yeah she was. I glanced sideways at Tray. He was watching me intently. A secret grin appeared and I knew it was just for me.
Crap. It felt as if my body exploded. I readjusted myself and tried to get comfortable, but it was useless. This damn attraction I’d had for him wasn’t going away. I knew that now, and had begun to get used to it, but with a little look like that from him, knowing it was meant only for me, a girl could only handle so much.
I let out a soft sigh.
His laugh softened so it was only for my ears.
There went that tingling sensation again. Another explosion. I’d have to do something about it. This was killing me.
Dylan grinned at me. “Your friend is pretty cool.”
I nodded. I hadn’t known we were friends, but okay. I’d take it. Molly started giggling, and that was when I figured she was drunk as well. I skimmed an eye over the table and cursed my stupidity. It was covered in wine bottles.
Tray leaned closer and asked, “You want a drink?”
“Yeah. Maybe one.”
“Be right back.”
As he left, I commented to Dylan, “You’re one of the few around here who doesn’t seem drunk.”
He smiled, his thumb rubbing against Mandy’s thigh. “Yeah. It’s turned out to be a good party.”
“A lot of crashers.”
“Yeah, but what can you do?”
“Having Pedlam and Rawley together, that means there’s going to be some fights.”
“I know.” He shrugged. “We’ve got our crew. We can handle ourselves.” He threw a frown in Tray’s direction. “Besides, I doubt Evans would stand for that. If he thought there was a problem, he’d have me kick them out.”
“Taryn.”
Turning around, I saw Grayley standing just behind the patio gate.
“Hey.” I waved him to the table. “Have a seat.”
Mandy and Molly stopped laughing. Dylan sat up straight. He’d been warm and friendly a second ago. He was cold now. “Pedlam student.”
“My friend.” I leaned forward and kicked Tray’s seat out for him. “Sit down, Gray.”
He did.
Once he was seated, I asked, “Heard we spanked you guys.”
He snorted, running a hand through his hair. “Please. As long as we can drink, we’re happy.” Then he grew serious, lowered his voice, and leaned closer to me. “Can we talk? Somewhere private?”
I knew what he was going to ask. “I’m sorry.”
“Okay. Another time then?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I went to Jace and he wouldn’t tell me anything. He kicked me out.”
His eyes widened. “He kicked you out? For real?”
I nodded. Remembering it brought some of the old emotions back up. “I’m trying not to think about it, to be honest.”
“Man.” He sat back, dazed. “Whoa. I’m sorry, Taryn.”
I jerked a shoulder up. “It’s no big.” It was. We both knew it was, and he patted my hand, sighing softly.
He added, “I’m still sorry.”
“Yeah.”
He glanced from me to the table. Mandy and Molly were both staring while Dylan was watching the house. I knew who he was waiting for, but Tray wouldn’t kick him out. They had met already, somewhat, at Rickets’ House, and Tray knew I had gotten the blueprints from a friend. Gray sighed and leaned close again. “You want me to go?”
Did I?
I shrugged. I should’ve been clearer about a decision, but I didn’t care in that moment. Gray was a friend, maybe the only one from Pedlam that I could still talk with. He knew me better than the people at the table, but Tray chose that moment to return with two cups in hand. He gave Grayley a brief nod in greeting as he placed the drinks on the table and pulled a chair to sit between us.
I said, “We can talk later.”
“Yeah.” An uneasy laugh came from him. “When it’s not enemy territory, right?” He clapped a hand on Tray’s shoulder. “That was an awesome prank, by the way. The guys are planning their revenge already.”
Tray nodded. “Good. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Grayley laughed. “I’ll let the guys know—” He stopped. “Or maybe I’ll keep quiet since I got a friend on your side.” Nodding to the others at the table, he tapped me on the shoulder as his farewell before he headed away.
Mandy asked, “Who was that?”
“A friend.”
“Like me,” Molly piped up, then her cheeks got red, and she ducked her head again.
“He seems like a good guy,” Tray spoke up for him.
I could sense an interrogation from Mandy coming, but it was halted at those words. No one went against Tray Evans, certainly not my adopted sister. Knowing what he did and that he had done it for me, I turned to him. “Thank you. He means a lot to me.”
“I know.”
“Yeah.”
Then Mandy shrieked in laughter and I sighed.
“Come on,” Tray murmured in my ear. He took my hand and stood up.
I didn’t care where he was taking me. He tended to know when I needed to get away so I went, with another wave of gratitude going through me, but paused when Molly jerked her head back up.
Tray pulled me into his side and leaned around me. He handed Dylan a twenty. “Can you call a cab for Taryn’s friend? For when she wants to go home?”
“Sure thing.”
I ignored the knowing look from the cousin and the confused expression from my sister. Molly was grinning from ear to ear. This would be spread over the school as well. Maybe I should’ve been happy. My goal for a while had been to distract the gossip mill from Devon and Mandy’s break-up, but at this point, I didn’t think it mattered.
We left. When he headed out, I asked, “Where are we going?”
He didn’t answer. He took my hand, glanced over his shoulder, and flashed me a smile. Oh fuck. It was one of those smiles. It was earth-shattering, heart-melting, and a fireworks type of look. A lot of promises were attached to that look, and I swore my panties were soaked through. Yes. I definitely needed to deal with this. My body was starting to develop a mind of its own, and it was starting not to listen to me.
He squeezed my hand and slid both of them into his pocket. It was snug and too close to where I really wanted to put it. My body was ready to erupt. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been like this with a guy. A part of me loved it. The other part was in one giant pretzel-like knot.
His SUV was blocked by other cars. I climbed inside while Tray took his phone out and called someone. A little while later, three guys came out with keys and moved the cars. Then Tray climbed in beside me and backed out onto the road.
We drove in silence, just like before until he pulled up to his place and cut the engine.
Once we were inside, he went to the refrigerator, and I sat at the table. No lights were turned on. I was starting to realize Tray enjoyed living in the dark, but the light from the refrigerator flooded the room as he grabbed two beers. He came over to the table,
sat across from me and slid a can to me. The room had gone back to the darkness again, and I shivered. It was like a blanket had been thrown over us. I’d been raw since my visit with Jace, and this was what I needed.
One night. I already made up my mind. One night and Tray Evans would be out of my system. We could be friends after that. Maybe? I wasn’t sure.
He leaned back in his chair and opened his can. The sound was jarring in the silence between us, and I jumped, then gritted my teeth. Of course he was going to open his beer. I should’ve been expecting that, but I was so overwhelmed with so many emotions. They were swirling all inside of me. Lust. Desire. Fear. Pain. Those four were the main ingredients that made me, mixed with fury. A counselor told me when I was younger that I had an unhealthy amount of anger inside of me. She’d been kind. It was fury, and it made me who I was. It was my foundation, but I didn’t count it. It was just there. Always would be.
“You have some messed up relationships.”
My eyes jumped to his, and my heart leapt in my chest. “What?”
He was watching me. The darkness didn’t matter. He could see through me anyway. He put his beer on the table and leaned back again. “You. Your ex. Jace Lanser. What is it with you and those guys?”
“They’re my family.”
He didn’t comment.
“They were my family.”
“Was there something going on with you and Lanser?”
“Brian.”
“Jace.”
Oh. “I was with Brian.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“Why are you asking that?”
“Because I was in the room with you two. It seemed like more than some nice family thing you think you had going on.” He leaned forward, his tone turned hard.
“It’s none of your business, if there was.” I sighed and shook my head. “I was with Brian. There was nothing going on with Jace, and besides, my relationships with both of them are done. I was given explicit instructions to stay the hell away.”
Tray started laughing. “I didn’t think you were like most girls.”
“Really?” My chest tightened from tension. What the hell did that mean?
“Most girls are dumb. Guys are assholes, but girls tend to romanticize that shit.”
“Aren’t you an asshole?”
“Yeah.” He never looked away. He never wavered. The truth was right there for me to see. “I am and every single girl thinks she’s the exception, that I’m going to change for her, but it never works. No girl will control me. The more I make that known, the more chicks I have coming onto me. You,” he lifted his beer to me again, “I thought you were different. I thought you knew what an asshole was and that an asshole will stay an asshole.”
“I’m an asshole,” I said quietly, and it was the truth. “I’m the one they want to change.”
“But you won’t be changed?”
I shook my head. “Brian tried to make me dependent on him. He wanted one of those weak girls.” Shit, this hurt to admit. “He’ll be better off without me. He can be with someone who needs him more, who makes him feel—”
“Powerful?”
He understood. That knowledge settled deep in me, and I nodded. “Yeah.”
He was still watching me, seeing inside of me. “And Lanser?”
I wasn’t confused anymore. I knew who he meant. “Jace was family because I was with Brian. That was all. He was tied to his brother and his dad because of blood, but if he could live without them, he would.” That meant without me too. I had never accepted that truth, but I had known it. It’d been there, one of those truths I ignored. “He leads the Panthers, and he’s involved with that world. He wants me out.”
“Are you out?”
He wasn’t asking for my benefit. The need for him had been there between us from the beginning, and it had grown until I couldn’t handle it. I knew why he was asking, but instead of answering his question, I said, “This is uncomfortable.”
The air shifted once more. It was the first time this thing between us was being addressed.
His nostrils flared and his eyes darkened. He couldn’t hide his feelings for me either. Then he smirked. “I know.”
I was relieved first and then the floodgates opened. All the desire and sexual tension that had been banked down was let loose. I almost stood from my chair for him, but grasped onto the table to keep myself still. I blinked back tears from the sudden desire. It was powerful and almost blinding.
My voice had grown raw. “I’m tired of dancing around this.”
“So stop.”
“It’s you too.”
He leaned forward, his hands slid closer to me on the table, and I stared at them. I wanted to feel them run over me. I wanted to feel his arms around me. Fuck. I wanted him, all of him.
The need for him was growing stronger and stronger. I was starting not to care about staying in my chair. “I won’t change,” I rasped out.
“Neither will I.”
We were both assholes. That had been established.
The ache was throbbing in me. My chest was moving up and down. I was damn near panting for him. A part of my brain was yelling at me to remain calm. I couldn’t give in. When I did, nothing good could happened. This guy, this self-proclaimed asshole, would hurt me. The writing was on the wall, and if I went to him, I knew what I was signing up for.
I didn’t care.
I cared to taste him. I cared to have him inside of me. My hands started to push up from the chair. I felt my body following, and a part of my brain went away. A primal need had taken over. He stood too and walked towards me. I stopped, waiting for him to round the table, and then he was in front of me. I couldn’t look up. His chest was rising in in sync with mine. I lifted my hand to his chest and felt his heart racing.
“Taryn.” His voice was a sensual whisper to me, like a caress.
I looked up.
His eyes were a dark amber and he moved another step closer. The table was pressed behind me. I couldn’t move, and he leaned down to me, his lips coming towards me. I licked mine, waiting for his, and then his hand shocked me. He touched my hip and lifted me so I was on the table.
I gasped, but he swept down. His lips were on mine and the fire took over me. I became alive in that moment.
I pushed away. “I have to say this now or I might not follow through with it later.”
His hand curved into the back of my head and he leaned forward.
I held firm, turning away. “I mean it.”
“That’s fine,” he soothed me and brought me back. His lips rested on mine. He didn’t apply pressure and my god, I wanted him too. No. I pulled away again, but he caught me. He didn’t let me go far. “What is it, Taryn?”
Even the way he said my name. It was almost impossible to think clearly.
“Taryn.”
“Right.” He was like a drug. “I won’t have sex with you.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the side of my mouth.
Oh fuck. “I mean it.” I tried to sound firm.
“Stay the night anyway.”
I couldn’t. I’d be straddling him in the middle of the night.