She shook her head slowly.
“Good. Because you were terrible. My gods, woman. Your calling isn’t in the theater, let me tell—oomph!”
She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck, her makeshift armor digging into my chest.
“Oh man,” I breathed. “I love hugging. Lady-dude, you are on my epic list. Aside from the acting thing.”
And so I hugged her back, because that was what one did.
“You’re here,” she whispered, voice trembling. “You’re real, and you’re here.”
“This is true,” I agreed, absurdly touched by this girl I’d never met. It was strange, hugging another person again after so long. Dragons weren’t as cuddly as one might think, no matter how much Kevin tried. “I’m real.”
She pulled back carefully, searching my face. “They’re not going to believe this back at Camp HaveHeart.”
“I’m sure they won’t—wait. Back at where?”
Her smile was wide and beautiful. “The base camp. For the Resistance, led by Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart, Grand Prince Justin of Verania, and their second-in-command, Lady Tina DeSilva of the Foxy Lady Brigade.”
I was pretty sure my brain broke.
Chapter 2: The Lament of Sam of Dragons
“GODSDAMN DIMITRI,” I muttered as we made our way through the Dark Woods. “Godsdamn Dimitri and his not telling me about Resistances or HaveHeart camps or Foxy Lady Brigades. And godsdamn him straight to the underworld for saying nothing about Lady Tina DeSilva. I will have her head on my—”
“What is he growling about?” Katya whispered to Kevin.
“I don’t care,” Kevin whispered back. “I’ve had to hear his angst for the past eleven months. I’m sort of over it. I’m actually not even listening to him right now. Your brother is hot.”
Brant blushed furiously as Katya groaned.
“Rude,” I said. “Also, do you need to be reminded of what I’ve had to listen to for the past eleven months? You were the reason GW made me put on the sexual harassment seminar.”
“I am sexually adventurous—”
“Aggressive.”
“—and it’s not my fault you were the only thing within any distance that I could try and get up on. We were with a child, two lesbians, and an old fart. What else was I supposed to do, since you forced me to go with you?”
“That is not what happened!”
“Sam bewitched me to follow him into the forest,” Kevin told Katya and Brant. “I wanted to stay with my horde and my unicorn, but noooo. Sam here made me leave with him to the land of celibacy. Do you know how backed up I am right now? I could probably impregnate a rock.”
“Oh my goodness,” Katya breathed. “That was more information than I required.”
“You better not impregnate my sister,” Brant said seriously, hand on his sword. “Or me.”
Kevin’s lip curled in disgust. “Don’t be crude. I would never. There is only one creature worthy of carrying my children, and his name is Gary.”
“Gary can’t carry your children,” I reminded him, feeling ill that such words were even coming out of my mouth. “You’re both dudes. He doesn’t have a uterus.”
“Since you’re such an expert at Gary’s insides and all. I told you, pretty, all you had to do was ask, and we’d include you in our—”
“Nope. Nope, nope, nope. I’m gonna stop you right there. You are terrible, and we have other things to focus on. Such as Lady Tina DeSilva and how we’re going to eviscerate her.”
“Are you sure this is Sam of Wilds?” Brant asked his sister. “Because I thought he’d be more… not this.”
“I’m completely sure,” Katya said. She glanced at me. “Okay, a little sure.”
“Hey! I’m not Sam of Wilds anymore. I’m a full-fledged wizard now. Sam of Dragons for the win!”
“They grow up so fast,” Kevin said, smiling down at me.
We were following Katya and Brant through the Dark Woods, supposedly to this Camp HaveHeart. I didn’t trust them, not fully (and how could I after the Lady Tina thing? That was just ridiculous), but I figured it was as good a place to start as any. I wasn’t too worried about them betraying us. If they turned out to be villains, I would make their insides go on their outsides, and that would be that.
The other dragons had stayed in the woods under the guidance of GW. Five dragons descending upon a camp would probably send people into a panic. Kevin had been allowed to come because he was just as much a part of this as I was. The others would come when I called for them.
Katya and Brant had told us haltingly in turn that Camp HaveHeart was a stronghold in what remained of the Port of Verania, outside of the City of Lockes. With the sea behind them, they’d been able to take back the Port from the Darks, who had then holed up inside the middle and upper quadrants of the City around Castle Lockes. They’d regained control of the sea town about six months ago, and they were building an army of Resistance fighters made up of knights and army and civilians alike. It was there Ryan Foxheart and Prince Justin had begun to plot to try and take the City, though it was slow going.
“He’s going to be so happy to see you,” Katya told me. “They all will.”
I had trouble believing that, but I pushed it away. One thing at a time. “Gary and Tiggy?”
Brant groaned. “They’re with them. Gary is… I guess I’ve never met a unicorn before, because I didn’t expect him to be… like that.”
“Yeah,” Kevin said. “Isn’t he wonderful?”
“Uh. Yes. That’s exactly what I meant.”
“The four of them were gone on a mission when we left,” Katya said. “They’re due back in a few days. Most likely we’ll arrive before them.”
“And my parents?” I asked, throat suddenly thick. Dimitri had told me they were okay, but I needed to hear it again.
“Joshua and Rosemary are some of the best fighters we have.”
“They’re the best what?”
Brant and Katya exchanged a look I didn’t quite understand. “Rosemary trains all of the civilians,” Katya said slowly.
“And Joshua was the one who made me my sword,” Brant said.
“So many words,” I grumbled. “We’re going to have so many words when we get back, they don’t even know.”
“This is going to be the best day ever,” Kevin said. “Except for the part where everyone is going to yell at me for being bewitched by Sam. Also, Sam, a question, if I may.”
“No.”
“I’m going to ask it anyway.”
“No, you may—”
“When we get to Camp HaveHeart—which, I don’t know why they couldn’t have gone with Camp DragonCorn, since it sounds so much better—might I regale everyone with a completely true story of how I totally saved your life today so that I may delay any animosity that could come in my direction?”
“No.”
“Follow-up question, if I may. Why are you such a bitch?”
“It’s good to be back,” I sighed.
IT TOOK us three days to get to what remained of the Port.
During that time, I learned the following:
Brant and Katya were attempting to infiltrate a random Dark camp in order to gather intel. It turned out to be nothing but a mismanaged farm, but before they left, they’d been able to poison the well with a concoction given to them by Letnia of Meridian City, guaranteed to kill anything that came into contact with it. I was glad to know she was still kicking and terrifying.
Letnia was helping Mama and Moishe run the Resistance on the outskirts of Meridian City. Apparently they had taken over Old Clearing and were using it as a base for her army of whores and courtesans. The last they’d heard from Mama was two weeks before, when she’d said they didn’t have any operations planned in the near future, as they were running out of supplies.
Good King Anthony was being held in the dungeons of Castle Lockes, probably being forced to poop into a bucket. Spies inside Castle Lockes
said that he was being treated mostly well, given that he was intimidating and had a killer mustache. Apparently Myrin had no need for the King and mostly left him alone.
The Foxy Lady Brigade was apparently made up of the members of the Ryan Foxheart Fan Club Castle Lockes Chapter, and they were the deadliest assassins that the Resistance had. “Apparently you know all those people, don’t you, Mervin?” Katya asked me, and I considered going back to find Caleb and handing her over. I didn’t ask any questions about Lady Tina, because I refused to believe it.
Gary still hadn’t found his horn, which made him cranky as all hell, and he regularly threatened to “cut some bitches, because Gary is about to bring the pain.”
Tiggy had amassed an even larger broom collection for reasons no one understood.
No one knew where Randall was. Castle Freeze Your Ass Off was empty.
Pete was gone.
“What?” I whispered, stopping in the middle of the woods.
Kevin whimpered, wings drooping.
Brant sighed. “During a rescue. From one of the enslavement camps. He went back for some people we had to leave behind and… well. They got out. He didn’t. He saved them.”
“When?” I asked hoarsely.
“Four months ago,” Brant said. “It was a good death. A hero’s death.”
As if that made it any better.
ON THE night before we made it to Camp HaveHeart, I couldn’t sleep, so I volunteered for the first watch. We didn’t want to risk a fire, and the night air was cool to the point of being brisk. I had a thin blanket wrapped around my shoulders, and it hit me then that I was pretty godsdamn sick of being in the forest.
Brant and Katya were curled up next to each other, a single blanket spread over the both of them. They were apparently used to such conditions, like the soldiers that they were. Verania’s army typically didn’t allow anyone under the age of seventeen to enlist, but given the current circumstances, I wasn’t surprised that Katya was allowed in. It made me wonder how many other children were involved, and that made my stomach curdle.
The stars above were peeking through the heavy clouds, and I was sure I saw David’s Dragon twinkling mockingly at me. I glared up at it, daring the dragon to make any kind of appearance. He didn’t, of course. I hadn’t seen him since that day in Castle Freeze Your Ass Off when he told me that the Northern dragons were mated lesbians. Apparently I had done my part in the gods’ destiny and he hadn’t needed to offer further instruction like a jerk.
I sighed and pulled my pack toward me. It was heavy, but not because of many possessions. No, GW was under the impression that material things were not conducive to a wizard’s training. The fact that that decree had come from a dragon, a species known for hoarding anything and everything, was almost laughable. But unfortunately for me, he was serious and had only let me keep a few things.
We’d argued. Of course we had. I was me, and he was a bitch. He reminded me of Randall in that regard, a topic he refused to speak on. But there was one thing I wouldn’t budge on, one thing that I adamantly refused to discard. A small note, the paper worn and creased, with words that meant more to me than anything I owned written upon it.
To Mervin:
Don’t worry.
I’m a Sam Girl too.
Our secret?
Ryan Foxheart.
GW had said a cornerstone was a weakness. That it distracted from a wizard’s potential. Look at Randall and Myrin, he’d whispered in my ear. Look at what had become of them.
I told him Ryan was one of the reasons I’d come to him at all, and nothing could take that away from me.
He continued to push.
I pushed back.
I conceded many things.
Ryan Foxheart was never one of them. And he never would be.
I sighed, then folded up the note and put it carefully back into my pack. We’d get to Camp HaveHeart tomorrow and would soon see all those we left behind. Kevin was right in that whatever reaction we got wasn’t going to be good. I hoped they would still be happy to see me, even if they hated my guts. And I didn’t even want to think of Justin and Ryan being all buddy-buddy, going on adventures together, fighting side by side, taking back their country. It’d lead to one night when they’d look across the fire at each other, and then all of a sudden they’re butt-fucking and Ryan is telling Justin he made a mistake with me and that he loves him forever, and they’ll probably have adopted a baby by now and named it something idiotically trendy like Mango or Lima Bean, and then I’ll show up and Ryan will be like, “Sorry, Sam. You left, and now Justin owns my heart and Lima Bean owns my soul, and we are happy working on our organic farm and—”
God, I hated Lima Bean, and I didn’t even know if she existed.
There were four other things in my pack.
A set of spare trousers, because I was always taught you should never go on a trip without a clean pair of trousers.
The other things?
Grimoires.
Mine.
Morgan’s.
Myrin’s.
In the past year, I had never opened either of theirs.
Myrin’s, because I couldn’t get over the anger I felt toward him.
Morgan’s, because my heart still broke every time I looked at it.
GW had said nothing about their Grimoires, only instructing me on my own.
In fact, Morgan and Myrin hadn’t been mentioned much at all.
That was something I didn’t push, only because I was still mired in my own guilt.
“You look troubled, pretty,” a voice rumbled from above me. I tilted my head back to see a glittering eye watching me. I was sitting against his side, my back warmed by the fire that burned within him. “You worried about tomorrow?”
I shrugged, looking away.
“It’s okay to be scared.”
“I’m not scared.” It was easier to lie.
“Okay. I am.”
I didn’t expect that. “You are?”
He rumbled lowly, the tip of his tail twitching where it was curled near my feet.
“Why?”
“We’ve been gone a long time. Things can change. Things have changed. We’re not the same as we used to be. We can’t expect them to be either.”
“What if—” I sighed. “We always knew this day would come.”
“We did, yes.”
“And we’ve been looking forward to it since the moment we left.”
“This is true.”
“Then why do we feel this way?”
He didn’t speak for a while, just kept breathing in deep and letting it out slowly. It was soothing, and it helped a little. He said, “Because we don’t yet know if we made the right decision in going with the Great White. In doing what your destiny expected of you.”
“I still hate that word,” I grumbled.
“I can see why. I think most people that have one grow to despise it. But it’s what you do with it in the end that counts the most.”
“That was pretty lame.”
“And yet, there it is.”
“Ugh.”
“Right?”
I looked back up at him again. His eye was still on me. “What if I’m not me anymore?”
“Who would you be?”
“I was Sam of Wilds before. Now I’m… not that.”
“Do you feel different?”
I did. Magic had always been a part of me, even if I hadn’t known it. And when I finally became aware of who I was, what I could do, it was always flitting along the edges of my vision, those bright colors that only I could see. When I used them, when I pulled them into me and shoved them outward, there was always a sense of force behind it, like I was exerting copious amounts of energy to use it.
Now, though? Now it was the easiest thing in the world. I was mired in the green and gold, moving in concert with it, manipulating it at whim. I’d seen the extent of Randall’s magic, the power of his lightning, and the strength of Morgan’s in his containme
nt and compression, and they had always been drained after, and rightly so. Magic had a cost to it, a price to pay for using it.
A ceiling, even.
And when I was an apprentice, I knew that. I experienced that. Anytime I was forced to use large quantities of magic, having it burst from my head and heart, I was weak and practically useless afterward.
It wasn’t like that anymore.
And even though he didn’t say anything out loud, I knew it concerned GW. Whether because of the implications of my strength or the potential to use me as a weapon, I didn’t know. If I turned Dark, there would be no Resistance. They would be wiped out before they could even fight back. I knew it worried him, especially when he tried to drill into my head that I had to depend on myself and no one else. “A cornerstone is a human,” he’d told me. “Humans are fallible. Fragile. They bend and then they break. Or worse, they turn on a wizard and force them into a spiral, taking everything they hold dear away. Why should you have so much faith in a single person? Why can you not stand on your own?”
That had resonated with me for the longest time.
It was bullshit. It had to be bullshit.
Because I firmly believed that Morgan and Randall wouldn’t have encouraged my relationship with Ryan after all they’d been through if they hadn’t thought it was worth it. That it was the right thing to do.
But there were thoughts, late at night while I lay in the hut I’d built deep in the Dark Woods under the Great White’s instruction, where I wondered if they’d lied about that too.
“I’m Sam of Dragons now,” I told Kevin. “It’s not the same.”
“Pretty badass, if I say so myself.”
“Because you’re one of those dragons.”
“Well, yes. But still. It’s a good name for you. But it’s just a name. It doesn’t define you.”