“Well, see you later,” I said to him, before turning and heading out of the room with Shayla.
“See you later, too,” he replied.
I realized as I shut the door that that was the first time he had said goodbye to me.
I knew that this wait would be agonizing. But now that I was released from caring for Josh for the next three hours, I decided to go and pay Victoria a visit. I found her in her home, poring over a pile of history books. Apparently she had home study leave.
“If you’re busy I can come back later this evening,” I offered.
“Nah, take a seat,” she said, pulling me down to take a seat in her bedroom.
The last time we’d had a proper conversation was when we had been sharing a bunk in Nightshade, while waiting in the Philippine jungle. That seemed like an age away now.
As she sat down on her bed, she confessed to me what I had suspected about her and Bastien. That they’d developed an attraction, and even shared a kiss, before everything had spiraled downhill.
She gave me a pained smile. “Don’t mean to drag your spirits down, though,” she said. “I had a talk with Saira. I’m feeling a bit better now.”
“Glad to hear that,” I said, squeezing her hand. I was not used to Victoria being sad. She wasn’t one to mope or wallow. I didn’t even think I had seen her cry before. I gave her a long, tight hug, before glancing up at the clock.
Oh, my God. Where had the time gone? I’d totally lost track of it. We’d spent over three hours chatting.
Our conversation had drawn to a natural close, anyway, so I said, “Well, I’ll leave you to your work. I’ve got to get back to Josh.”
“Oh, good luck with him.”
We hugged and kissed each other’s cheeks before I hurried out of her apartment and raced back to Meadow Hospital. As a supernatural, I could run fairly swiftly. Not as swiftly as a vampire, werewolf or a full fae, of course, but still fast by most standards.
My heart was pounding as I reached the top floor of the hospital. I skidded to a stop outside Josh’s room. As voices drifted through the door, I was too anxious to even knock. I just burst inside. My eyes shot to Josh’s bed, where he was sitting upright, surrounded by Safi and Shayla.
And my heart catapulted to the bottom of my stomach.
From the jinn’s and witch’s heavy, disappointed expressions, I already knew that Safi’s solution had been unsuccessful. And Josh… he looked shattered.
“What’s happening?” I asked, hurrying to Josh’s side. I instinctively reached out to hold his hand.
“Nothing worked,” he croaked.
“Why not?” I asked, staring at Safi.
“I’m not entirely sure,” she replied, her dark, sculpted brows knotted. “We can cure mundane, human illnesses without difficulty. Human ailments, both physical and mental, are very responsive to our brand of magic… so I can only think that those hunters’ methods were not quite mundane.”
Oh, no.
Whatever life I had seen returned to Josh after our trip to Sun Beach had drained out of him, and he looked worn and faded as the day we brought him here. He looked crushed.
I had been so sure that the jinn would be able to help him. This news came as an utter shock to my system. If the jinni’s cure had failed, I couldn’t imagine that there was anything that Corrine, Ibrahim or Mona could bring to the table. Jinn’s magic was always the final resort. Their powers were overall stronger than the witches’.
“So what now?” I asked.
Shayla ran her tongue along her lower lip. Concern shone in her eyes as she glanced at Josh. “I’m not sure, Grace. I’m not sure.”
Grace
The next few hours with Josh were the hardest so far. I just… didn’t know what to say to him. I was supposed to be there, offering him emotional support. Encouragement. Being chirpy and cheerful. But I felt so down myself.
I offered to read to him again, but he didn’t even want me to do that. He just turned over on his side, his back facing me, and stared at the opposite wall.
When 8 PM came around, I took my leave, even though it killed me to leave him all alone.
I returned home and got ready for bed. But I couldn’t sleep. I kept tossing and turning, even as I felt surprised at how affected I was. I’d only spent a couple of days with him, and he was still as good as a stranger to me. But… he’d been made my responsibility. He’d been placed in my charge. If I was doing my job properly as a caregiver, I reminded myself, I should be feeling like this. I should be losing sleep right along with him.
I felt like death by the time morning arrived. I’d maybe gotten a couple of hours of sleep. Yet I was relieved that it was time to get up. I didn’t think that he should be spending too many hours alone at a time like this. I took a shower, grabbed my backpack, and returned to the hospital.
I stopped outside Josh’s door and pressed my ear against it. All was quiet. Perhaps he was still sleeping. Gently, I pulled down the handle and entered.
Every internal alarm bell went off at once as my eyes fell on his bed. It was empty.
“Josh?” I called, gazing around the room.
The door to the en suite bathroom was open.
I hurried to it. My breath hitched as I caught sight of Josh’s legs, flat on the ground. I rushed inside. He was lying stretched out on the bathroom floor. Terrifyingly motionless.
“Oh, God! Josh!”
As I moved to the upper half of him, I realized he had blood smeared on his head and a bump. A large, protruding bump. There were razors scattered around him, along with a fallen jar of shaving cream.
As I grasped his shoulders and struggled to ease him upright, the motion seemed to stir him. His eyelids flickered, then opened. His lips were parched, his eyeballs reddish. I could see clearer than ever the throbbing bump on his head.
“What happened?” I pressed.
He just shut his eyes tight again and clenched his jaw.
Then I noticed the edge of the sink. It was stained with blood. And I put two and two together. The razors, the shaving cream. He’d tried to reach for them himself to shave. That meant he had also pulled himself out of bed and into the wheelchair without assistance.
“Oh, Josh,” I exclaimed. “Why didn’t you call for Tom?”
I hurried back into the bedroom to ring downstairs for Tom, as well as Shayla so she could take a look at his bump. The last thing he needed was a concussion. Then I rushed back to the bathroom and gathered the shavers and foam from the floor and placed them on the shelf. I turned to him again and motioned to help him back into his chair. “I can help you shave.”
To my shock, he jerked away from me as I attempted to raise him to the wheelchair. The glare he shot me made me stagger back. “Let me be a man, damn it!” he snapped.
I stared at him in a daze as he gripped the arms of his chair and hauled himself back onto it with difficulty. His cheeks reddened. Scowling, he let out an anguished breath before turning his chair around and returning to the bedroom.
Tom hurried in through the door, along with Shayla, and they reached him before he could attempt to help himself back into his bed. They eased him onto the mattress before Shayla checked his head.
I cast one last glance his way before leaving the room. As I stepped out into the corridor, hot tears prickled the corners of my eyes. God, why am I so sensitive? It’s pathetic.
I guessed it was just the shock of finding him there, lying splayed on the floor, and then his lashing out at me immediately afterward when I had been trying to help him.
But as I dug deeper into my emotions, I realized the real reason behind my tears. I felt intensely saddened by my patient’s plight.
He wanted to be a man, he’d said. Yet here he was stuck with us, more incapacitated than even a child… with no way out in sight.
It didn’t matter how nice or kind or accommodating we were to him. It didn’t matter how beautiful or cozy or pristine Meadow Hospital was.
He was a bi
rd trapped in a cage.
I have to find some way to free him.
Grace
I figured that it was best to give it some hours before subjecting Josh to me again. He had obviously been deeply embarrassed. I’d seen the flush in his cheeks. Maybe I would even wait until tomorrow to return. Give him some space. I was sure that Shayla would understand.
Besides, I had some thinking to do in the meantime.
I went straight back home to my room. I pulled up a chair and sat down at my desk before powering on my laptop and pulling out my notebook. At times like this I was endlessly grateful that we could access the internet in The Shade.
I surfed the web, researching and brainstorming for hours, while jotting down ideas and comments in my notebook. Once I felt that I had researched all that I could, I left my bedroom and headed for the large storage room toward the back of the apartment. My father kept exercise equipment here, among stacks of boxes. I began sifting through his equipment, trying to see if anything was suitable. Not much was, but there were a few pieces. I retrieved them from the shelves and set them down in the corridor.
Next, I headed for our three spare bedrooms and poked my head inside each of them. We didn’t have any guests staying here now, of course. And we did not have guests all that often. Usually it was one of my cousins come to stay over.
As I stepped into the third room, I knew that this was the one. This had the largest windows of all three and afforded the best view—miles of redwood forests, a glimpse of the Black Heights, and in the far distance the ocean. Also, this room was pretty bare already, with just a single bed, a chair and a bedside table. It would not take much effort to clear it. I dragged the furniture out and stuffed it into the room next door before going back for the exercise equipment I’d taken from the storage room. I left it in the now-empty guest room and then exited the apartment.
My next stop was a visit to the senior school’s gymnasium. It was empty of pupils at this time, and there were no adults around from whom I could ask permission to borrow some things, but I was sure that nobody would mind. I milled around, scanning the equipment and deciding which would be most suitable, just as I had done with my father’s. Most of the stuff here was heavy-duty, far too weighty and bulky for me to carry without help.
I was considering returning to the hospital to have a word with Shayla, but as I stepped out of the gymnasium, I caught sight of Shadow bounding across the school yard, Anna’s sons—young Kiev and his older brother Jason—close behind the mutt. Both of them were vampires. Great. I didn’t need any more help than them.
I called over to them and explained what I needed to do, and they gladly agreed to help. And so the three of us transported all of the equipment that I had singled out in shifts back to my apartment. Shadow could’ve helped us if we had had some sort of sledge or cart he could’ve pulled along. Instead, he proved to be a bit of a hindrance, constantly jumping up at me to lick my face. He always got more excitable around me than others, and I was not quite sure why. Perhaps because I rarely took him for walks and I was more of a novelty to him. He definitely slowed down the process, but within an hour, we had filled up the spare bedroom to my satisfaction.
I said thanks to Jason and Kiev before they headed off, leaving me to begin arranging the room. This took me almost as long as bringing the stuff here, as I tried to put some real thought into it. Once I was done, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face… There was one more touch, however. I returned to my room and grabbed my MP3 player and speakers, and hooked them up in one corner. Perfect.
The way Josh made a habit in the mornings of wheeling up and down the corridor before he wanted to do much else made me think that in his previous life, he’d had some sort of strict morning regimen. Well, now, if he liked what I’d done, he could come here instead. Every single piece of equipment I’d selected was specifically meant for strengthening the upper body: arms, chest and torso. He might not be able to move his legs, but if he took it slowly and steadily, and didn’t strain himself, I was certain that he could bring his faded muscles back to life… and maybe in the process feel more like a man.
I felt quite proud of myself as I gazed around the room, wiping my brow with the back of my hand. Since I had decided to give Josh a break from me for the day, I spent the rest of it catching up with homework. Though I found it hard to concentrate. I kept imagining myself showing him the room tomorrow and wondering how he would react. Whether he would be delighted or… something else. I hoped at least that it would bring a smile to his face.
I wasn’t sure what we were going to do with him now, if we couldn’t cure him. But at least we could try to improve his quality of living. We had to stay optimistic… That was something that my father had instilled in me from an early age. Make the best of what you have, and never let your circumstances drag you down. My father could sure give that kind of advice from experience. He’d been put through the mill unlike anyone else I knew in The Shade, and that was really saying something given the history of this island.
Once bedtime arrived, I packed up my homework and retired to bed, though not without taking one last look at our new gym.
Grace
My gut twisted as I made my way to the hospital the next day. I felt nervous about seeing him again after the way we had left off. Arriving outside his door, I pressed my ear against it, listening cautiously. I heard the familiar clinking of metal against porcelain. I knocked three times and then opened the door to find him sitting up in bed, eating breakfast. It was some kind of beet-colored soup this morning. He did not seem to get very hungry during the day, and breakfasts appeared to be the only meal that he wanted to eat. Perhaps his body just did not burn enough energy for him to work up a decent appetite.
The large throbbing bump on his head was no longer. He did not even have a bandage around him. At least that was something Shayla had been able to cure.
Our eyes met for about a second before he glanced away. But not so quickly that I did not notice the slight flush in his cheeks.
As I approached his bed, he swallowed and said in a low, hoarse voice, “I… I’m sorry for my behavior yesterday. I did not wish to upset you.”
“It’s okay,” I said.
An awkward pause followed. I found myself staring at his bowl as he continued draining it.
“Does your head feel completely better?” I asked.
“Yes,” he muttered.
All right… Enough beating around the bush. “After you’ve eaten, I have a surprise for you.”
His eyes met mine again, and they brightened ever so slightly. “Surprise?” he asked. “What do you mean?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you,” I replied.
He finished the last of his soup, and when he confirmed that he was full, I helped him out of bed and into his wheelchair. After wrapping him with blankets, I pushed him out of the hospital. I pushed him faster than I usually would have, even though it made the ride a bit more bumpy for him. I was eager to arrive at our destination.
I sensed his wonderment as we reached the borders of the Residences, and he let out a breath as he realized that I was approaching the elevator leading up to one.
“You’re going to take me up there?” he asked, craning his neck to gaze up at the treetops.
“Yup. This is where I live.” I felt a sense of pride as I said the words. Even though I had lived in this penthouse since birth, I hadn’t lost sight of the fact that my upbringing had been extremely privileged. My parents had made a point of instilling gratitude into me and making me aware of the kind of living standards that most of the world was subjected to.
I wondered where Josh had been brought up. I wished that I knew where he had been plucked from by the hunters. Josh’s accent indicated that he was from England, but that seemed kind of an odd place to kidnap someone from when there were far closer countries to the portal IBSI had located that led to The Woodlands. Why not just find someone from the Philippines? If they had wanted
to experiment on a half-blood, they could’ve easily created one from scratch. We knew for a fact that they had a stock of imprisoned supernaturals in their custody—vampires included—those they had caught causing trouble for humans, or so they claimed. My own mother had once been taken by them to one of their research centers. She had witnessed firsthand the myriad of creatures they had access to.
Drawing myself back to the present, I pushed the button in the elevator. We ascended to the veranda that lined our apartment and I pushed Josh inside. Before revealing my surprise, since he seemed so fascinated by The Shade’s tree houses, I decided to give him a little tour of our apartment first. I showed him the kitchen, the living room, the dining room, before taking him to my bedroom.
On stepping inside, I realized that, apart from Benedict and my other male relatives, this was the first time I had brought a boy in here. Now that I had, I felt painfully aware of how girly it was and frankly… juvenile. My shelves were still filled with keepsakes from my childhood, silly trinkets and plastic toys, but mostly fluffy animals. I used to collect them… when I was nine.
I was about to clarify that my constantly busy schedule had been keeping me from doing a much-needed clear-out when Josh’s lips curved in a smile. He had just laid eyes on Podgey, a stuffed elephant almost the size of my desk chair, slumped in one corner.
“What?” I asked, defensive.
He coughed. “Uh… How old are you?”
Oh, man. Here comes the humiliation…
“I’m seventeen,” I murmured.
He nodded, his smile broadening.
At least his mood had lifted, even if it was at my expense.
Time for a change of room.
I gripped the handles of his chair and backed him out of the room, even as my cheeks heated to a rosy red. “Well, while we are on the subject of age,” I said, “you really have no idea how old you are?”
There was a pause, then he said, “Eighteen.” As my eyes widened, he clarified, “I’m not sure why I believe this, since I don’t remember my eighteenth birthday. It’s just a feeling.”