Chapter 4
Chan’s dreams were filled with him doing all the wrong things in a hundred different social situations involving women of varying ages.
When he awoke, exceedingly stiff and sore, he consoled himself that at least now he knew better than to repeat all those old mistakes. He just needed some time adjusting his habits to match reality.
He realized this was the one part of the training he needed most. Darvesh had clearly only just gotten started addressing Chan’s vast lore of mythology about the world. The worst of his emotional wounds were already healing, including an awful lot he never realized were there. He decided that if Darvesh let him choose he wanted to talk next about dreams and self-consciousness.
However, the first order of business was convincing his aching muscles and joints to cooperate with the task of filling his ravenous hunger. The relatively short walk to the cafeteria felt entirely too far against these two physical sensations. Having never worn a watch and seeing no clocks in the entire facility, Chan was hoping he wouldn’t have to wait too long to get some food. Entering the cafeteria, he was gratified to see one table laden with steaming steel serving containers.
Darvesh’s voice behind him said, “Stop. Always consider what you really should do.”
Chan half-turned and grinned acknowledgment, and then paused to think and simply smell the food. Moving with due purpose and consideration, he took a tray from the stack and served himself a healthy portion of everything that appealed to him. He was pleased to find milk was available and took a drinking cylinder full to the nearest empty table and sat down. Pausing a moment to feel grateful, he dug into it.
Darvesh was right behind him, seating himself facing Chan across the small table. Between mouthfuls, reminding himself to slow down, Chan described his dream and asked, “Is it possible that I can stop feeling like a fool? I often act weird simply because I don’t know any other way to prevent shame.”
Darvesh replied with some leisure. “You recall our discussion this morning? It’s the same thing, regardless whether any part of the context is sexual. What works with women works the same with men and in just about every social situation. There is that same complex scale of your capabilities.”
Darvesh chewed another mouthful while Chan absorbed that. Then he continued while Chan tried to keep from stuffing his face with food. “At the lowest level, it starts with your physical appearance. Hit the gym every other day and you’ll be really surprised how that will change your physique in just a few weeks.”
Chan remembered how Darvesh looked so solid and fit, well built when he stripped down to climb into the machine.
“Along with that is a measure of poise and bearing. What you lack in simple talent for that can be improved with training and practice. A self-critical eye in any mirror can go a long way after you’ve seen someone do it right. A certain amount of charisma can be learned as with any other skill. Finally, you really have to find yourself. When you are at peace with your place in this world and are carried by a sense of mission, you’ll always feel like you know where you fit into every social situation. People generally read that unconsciously. It comes across as something they can’t describe, but admire. Once you’ve learned it, you’ll recognize it every time you see it in others.”
Darvesh promised to show him the library and recommend a couple of books that Chan could read that would describe it all in depth. He also noted it was all electronic, and books were read on a specially designed display screen that appeared and acted as much like a paper book as anything could that wasn’t a regular book.
Another pair of men came into the cafeteria and greeted Darvesh. There was no introduction, but Darvesh simply indicated Chan was his trainee and both men offered a smile and a knowing look. They grabbed some chow and sat far enough away, and chatted quietly enough to be almost lost from Chan’s attention.
Chan decided to conduct a sort of self-test by summarizing what he thought Darvesh had said. Darvesh didn’t offer too many corrections, so Chan felt gratified that at least he had gotten the picture. Chan had cleaned his tray and decided not to go after seconds. They placed their trays on a slotted cart near the door and left.
The library was nearby, a simple room with a row of chairs facing a matching number of screens. Darvesh took some time explaining the way the display worked and the rather subtle gestures to which it responded. Chan struggled, but finally got enough of them to at least get started using the thing. Then Darvesh explained how to search for different kinds of reading material. Some of the books had videos.
Chan asked, “Does anybody watch movies here?”
“Would you want to, after what you’ve learned so far?” Darvesh was pretty sure it was self-explanatory.
“Okay, so just about any movies I know about would qualify as dangerous propaganda. Isn’t there better stuff available, stuff that actually edifies?” Chan was hoping it sounded like a valid question, not desperation for old bad habits.
Darvesh answered with some humor, “We do have some instructional videos narrated by wonderful story tellers, but those are used in our clinics. It covers things you aren’t likely to need. Otherwise, we have the driest scientific stuff recorded to prevent having to expend resources showing the same experiments repeatedly. Most of those are 3D and require equipment used in the various labs here. They have to be projected over the equipment itself. What’s left are the short videos in books like this one which demonstrate with real people what the text explains. This is one of the few books that actually have much need for it.”
Darvesh then went on to explain the other problem with movies, and how the various powers that ruled the world used the vaguely hypnotic effect to shape beliefs and behavior. He used several examples that Chan recognized and realized how they had shaped his own thinking.
Darvesh was both gentle and deadly serious. “It wouldn’t be very smart to use the same tool that got your head twisted around backward to try and undo that. These short videos and the various other kinds that we use are carefully tuned to avoid having that hypnotic effect. We absolutely do not want people suspending their disbelief. We want the whole thing to remain conscious at this level of learning.”
With that, Darvesh left him to struggle with the display and read the book. Chan was shocked to discover the material absorbed him until his stomach began growling and complaining about needing more food.
Still not used to life without a clock, he hoped he could find something available in the cafeteria. On the serving table was an open box of packaged jerky and he grabbed a couple, then drew a cup of tea. He was still sipping the tea when Darvesh found him. Chan spoke first as Darvesh got his own tea. “I’ll probably have to read through that book a couple more times before I feel like I understand it fully.”
Darvesh sipped from his cup and grinned. “You have picked that up pretty fast. I think you’ll do quite well when the time comes.”
“Not if I go back where I came from, and for more than one reason.” Something worried Chan. “What happened? I just realized this is Saturday and nobody has seen me for at least 24 hours. Not that I had much social life before, but I’m wondering how I’ll handle things with my job and my few friends. Do I just disappear and not go back?”
Darvesh shrugged. “That’s up to you. I suppose on the one hand if you tell your employer you are quitting, he’ll have to notify the proper authorities about the staff changes and you’ll have to deal with intrusive questions about whether you plan to go on the dole and so forth. If you stay here, you’ll eventually be listed as an officially missing person, which means you can’t easily resurface somewhere else with the same identity.”
Chan set his cup down. Resting his elbows on the table he raised his hands to his face, sliding them back until he caught his cheeks between his palms. Then he lifted his chin and rested them atop his interlaced fingers. After thinking it over a bit, “I don’t suppose The Brotherhood has alternative strategies.”
“No,?
?? Darvesh agreed. “At least, not for something that frivolous.”
“Yeah, I’m not at risk from anything but severe boredom,” Chan noted with a wry grin.
Darvesh offered, “It seems to me it would be a good time to go and practice what you’ve learned so far. You can come back in the evenings for gym sessions and library time. I’m sure we can schedule the portal for short intervals, but you’ll need a watch and remember to wear it always.”
In his hand Darvesh held up a tightly sealed clear plastic envelope with a watch in it. “This thing will be keyed to your DNA as soon as you open it and put it on.”
Chan’s eyes widened in surprise. Demonstrating with his own watch, Darvesh showed how to use the fingers of the opposite hand to open and close the invisible clasp. Chan opened the package and wrapped it around his wrist, grinning as it clasped itself comfortably. Typical of things related to The Brotherhood, it had that nice touch. The face was dark until he turned it toward him. The watch actually appeared to be the same kind of cheap electronic junk most people wore, but worked like an expensive AI timepiece.
“It senses your time zone and adjusts accordingly,” Darvesh explained. “It’s totally sealed against just about anything and pretty tough. But if you have to take it off for your safety, just use that same gesture in reverse. It will release only if it reads your fingers.” Darvesh showed him again. When Chan copied the gesture, the watch simply let go of his wrist.
As Chan stared at the face of the watch, Darvesh said, “It says it’s time to go home. More training next weekend. Put your street clothes back on and let’s go see the portal technician.”
One of the bright spots that dreary week was when Chan realized he no longer suffered those moments of losing himself from the context. His old self was almost alien, even as he became an alien to people who knew him. He scarcely remembered how it was when he could forget what square he was in after he first discovered that glimpse of the gap between the masking screens. That gap was covered now, but he never had trouble recalling where he was and where he was supposed to be. Thanks to his new watch, he also knew when, as it automatically noted appointments for him.