He cocked his head. “What do you mean?”
She sighed. “There was something missing. I don’t think either of us realized it at the time, and frankly, I’m still not sure I can put my finger on it. On the outside we seemed happy, but there had to be something wrong, right? Otherwise, you would’ve never wanted to leave for Italy without me, and I…would’ve tried to make you stay.”
He considered this, then gave her a half smile that was bittersweet. “And we both know how tenacious you can be when you want something.”
She laughed softly, acknowledging that. “Very true.”
They talked for a long time after that, about old times, Italy, and Rylann’s new life in Chicago. Afterward they walked outside and said good-bye on the sidewalk.
“You’re going back to Rome tomorrow, then?” she asked.
Jon nodded. “Temporarily, at least. I took the week off from work, hoping that I’d be spending it with you.” He shrugged. “Maybe now I’ll use the time to figure things out. Decide what I want to do with my life when I grow up.”
“Whatever it is you’re looking for, I hope you find it,” Rylann said in all sincerity. “I want you to be happy.”
“You, too, Ry.” He touched her cheek in good-bye, then climbed into the taxi that would take him back to the hotel he’d checked into for the night.
Rylann stood there on the sidewalk, watching Jon drive off. She remembered a similar day seven months ago, when they’d said good-bye outside the apartment they’d shared in San Francisco. Only that time, the taxi had taken him directly to the airport and to his new life in Italy.
Once the cab disappeared from sight, she walked the few blocks to her apartment, her mind drifting back to everything that had happened that morning. Several weeks ago, she’d told Rae that she’d never once considered going to Rome with Jon because doing so would’ve been crazy, and she didn’t do crazy. But that wasn’t entirely true. These past couple of months, with Kyle, she’d been doing a lot of things that didn’t make the most sense from a practical perspective. For him, she’d been willing to bend the rules, to go against logic, and to simply follow her heart.
And truthfully, that scared her a little.
She’d guessed, from the moment that she’d met Kyle, that he could cause her all sorts of trouble. She’d sensed it from that very first smile. Once they’d reconnected, she’d told herself that she was being careful, that they were just having fun. But these past few weeks had gone way beyond fun and had shown her how truly amazing it could be to have Kyle Rhodes in her life.
Earlier that morning, when he’d made the comment about her being embarrassed to be seen with him, she’d just felt…bad. While the sneaking around had been a little exciting, she knew he deserved better. But she’d been caught off guard when he’d forced her hand on the issue right then and there.
So now it was decision time. She could let Kyle walk out of her life a second time and preserve her perfect reputation as Meth Lab Rylann, the star AUSA who had never taken a misstep at work and who’d fought hard to establish herself as a woman who should be taken seriously in a profession that often failed to do so. Or she could accept that her crown would forever be tarnished, potentially diminish herself in the eyes of her boss and coworkers, and come out of the closet about the fact that she was dating the Twitter Terrorist, her former witness and the most infamous ex-con to be prosecuted by her office in recent history.
Mulling this over, Rylann let herself into her apartment and threw her purse and keys on the kitchen counter. She went to her bedroom and stripped out of the gray skirt suit and heels she’d worn that day. In the closet, she hung up the suit next to the others, the row of black, navy, gray, beige, and brown jackets forming a neat, orderly line. Then, instinctively, her eyes went to the shoe box on the top shelf near the back, the one with Kyle’s flannel shirt. She thought of something she’d said to him that night, right after she’d kissed him.
I thought I’d fly by the seat of my pants for a change.
The only question left was just how far she was willing to take that.
Thirty-four
THE NEXT MORNING, Kyle sat at his desk at the downtown office of Rhodes Network Consulting, staring distractedly out the window at the view of the Chicago river.
When his cell phone rang, he blinked and quickly checked the caller ID, quelling a pang of disappointment when he saw that it was Sean.
He answered, and the two of them discussed the following week’s itinerary. Monday was the official start date for all company employees, which currently included Sean, Gil and Troy, two administrative assistants, and a receptionist. Judging from the volume of calls Kyle had already received since the Twitter announcement, however, he doubted they’d be able to operate for long with a six-person team—especially once the Time article came out.
As his father had said last night, from a professional perspective he had indeed turned his life around. And he was proud of those accomplishments. But they did little to ease the dull, empty ache he’d felt since leaving Rylann’s apartment.
He’d pushed her, and in the end he’d gotten the answers he’d needed. Just not the answers he’d wanted.
When his business line rang, another potential client wanting to set up a consultation, he forced himself to stay focused on work. Shortly after he finished the call, his cell phone buzzed with a new text message.
From Rylann.
AT SOME POINT, DIMPLES, DO YOU PLAN TO HAVE ANY ACTUAL CONSULTANTS AT RHODES NETWORK CONSULTING?
It took Kyle a half second, then he got up from his desk. He walked out of his office, going past the empty cubicles and workstations, and turned into the reception area.
Standing there, waiting at the front desk and looking very businesslike in her trench coat and heels, was Rylann.
“I hope you take walk-in appointments,” she said with a smile.
Hmm.
Kyle knew that smile well by now. But Prosecutrix Pierce would not find him so easily charmed this time. She could throw around all her wiles and quips, and flaunt whatever sexy skirt suit she had on underneath that trench coat of hers, and he would remain decidedly immune to all of it.
“How did you find me?” he asked.
“I went to the website for Rhodes Network Consulting and looked up the address,” she said matter-of-factly. “You’d mentioned that you were planning to get a jump on things at the office today.”
He remembered that now; he’d said something about it on Wednesday night, during the limo ride down to Champaign. “How’s your ex?” he asked dryly.
Rylann shrugged. “Okay, I guess. All things considered. He’s currently on a plane back to Rome, trying to decide what he wants to do with his life.” She looked him over. “You look tired.”
“I didn’t sleep well last night.”
She nodded, then shifted awkwardly. “Do you think we could go to your office and talk? I feel strange standing here by the reception desk.”
Kyle paused, thinking about that, then gestured behind him. “Follow me.”
They said nothing as they walked back to his office—probably the longest the two of them had ever gone without speaking. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her checking everything out.
“The place looks great,” she said when they got to his office. “How much did you have to change before moving in?”
He leaned against his desk and shoved his hands in his pockets, not exactly in the mood to make idle chitchat. “Why did you come here, Rylann?”
She reached into the pocket of her trench coat and pulled something out. “To give you this.”
When Kyle saw that it was his watch, his heart sank. And here he’d been hoping…well, obviously it didn’t matter now.
“You forgot it, again, when you left my apartment yesterday morning,” she said.
Kyle took the watch from her and slid it onto his wrist. “Thanks for returning it.”
She held his gaze meaningfully. “And I also came here
to tell you that you’re wrong.” She stepped closer. “I do want to be with you, Kyle. More than anything.”
He remained motionless. “I’m waiting for the ‘but.’ “
She shook her head. “No ‘but’ this time. I’m in, all the way.” She took a deep breath. “I’m going to tell Cameron about us this afternoon.”
In so many ways that was exactly what Kyle had wanted to hear. But he remembered her hesitation yesterday all too clearly. “Rylann, I’m crazy about you—you know that.” He held her gaze, laying it on the line. “But if we do this, I worry that one day you’ll regret it. And that would kill me.”
“I won’t regret it,” she said. “I promise.”
“You say that now, but what about later?”
Suddenly, to his utter surprise, tears sprang to her eyes.
“I will never, ever regret stopping you from walking out of my life a second time, Kyle,” she said in an emotional voice. “And I can prove it.” She reached for the buttons on her trench coat and undid them, one at a time. Then she opened the coat and let it drop to the floor.
And even if she didn’t say a single word more, Kyle knew he would never again doubt the way Rylann felt about him.
She was wearing his flannel shirt.
“You kept it,” he said softly. “All this time.”
She nodded. “For nine years, I’ve held on to this darn shirt, literally dragging it across the country and back.”
Kyle touched her cheek, gently brushing away a tear with his thumb. “Why?”
She paused hesitantly, and then with a tender smile, finally put it all on the line, too. “I guess I always hoped you’d come back for it someday.”
Fuck, that completely undid him. His chest pulled almost uncomfortably tight as he pulled her into his arms. “I love you, Rylann.” He cupped her face, peering down into her eyes. “And now I finally have a good answer to the one question everyone always asks me—why I hacked into Twitter. I didn’t know it at the time…but I did it to find you again.”
She leaned into him, curling her fingers around his shirt. “That may be the best justification I’ve ever heard for committing a crime.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining. “And I love you, too, you know.”
He smiled, lowering his mouth to hers. He did know that. It may have taken nine years, and a whole lot of wrong turns along the way, but their story felt complete at last.
Because, finally, she was his.
Thirty-five
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, Rylann stood in front of Cameron’s door.
She paused, took a deep breath, and then knocked.
A voice called from inside. “Come in.”
Rylann opened the door and saw Cameron at her desk. The U.S. attorney smiled and gestured to the open chairs across from her. “Rylann, hi. Have a seat.”
Rylann shut the door behind her, trying to gauge the other woman’s mood. She’d worked with Cameron for two months now, and had nothing but positive things to say about the experience. While young for her position, Cameron was driven, fair, and an excellent trial lawyer. As the U.S. attorney for one of the largest districts in the country, she commanded significant power within the federal criminal justice system and had, in particular, garnered a lot of favorable attention over the last several months by prosecuting one of the most notorious crime syndicates in the country.
She was, in other words, a woman Rylann respected very much.
Rylann took a seat in front of the desk, trying to decide where to begin. Funny story, Cameron. Nine years ago, I let a perfect stranger walk me home from a bar…
Probably not there.
She cleared her throat. “I need to speak with you about a personal matter.”
Cameron looked concerned. “I hope everything’s okay?”
“Yes, thank you. But there’s something you should know, and I wanted you to hear it directly from me.” She paused before coming out with it. “Kyle Rhodes and I have been exploring a relationship in a nonprofessional capacity.” She cocked her head. “Wow. That sounded a lot less lame when I practiced it in my head. Let me try that again, without the BS.” She looked her boss in the eyes. “I’m dating the Twitter Terrorist.”
Cameron said nothing for a moment, and then leaned back in her chair. “Okay. First things first. Was this going on while he was your witness?”
“No,” Rylann said firmly, wanting to make sure they were clear on that.
Cameron nodded. “Of course. Had to ask, though.”
Rylann sat forward earnestly. “Look, Cameron, I realize this is unusual. We put the guy in prison and called him a terrorist. And because he’s such a recognizable figure in this city, it won’t be long before someone sees us together and links me to this office. I realize, when that happens, that our relationship might raise a few eyebrows. More than a few, probably. Trust me when I say that for those reasons, this was not something I entered into lightly. But regardless, Kyle is part of my life now. And I’m ready to accept whatever fallout comes with it.”
“That’s quite a speech,” Cameron said.
Rylann exhaled. “Thanks. I’m a little nervous here.”
Cameron studied her. “Are you worried that I’m going to fire you over this?”
Rylann shook her head, being direct. “No. But I am worried that this will put a strain on our working relationship. And that you’ll question my judgment going forward.” And while both would be tough pills to swallow, she nevertheless didn’t regret her decision. She’d told Kyle that she was committed to this, and she’d meant it.
Cameron rested her elbows on the desk. “I appreciate your honesty, Rylann. So I’ll be candid as well.” She gestured to her door. “I realize that the door says ‘U.S. Attorney’ on it, but only six months ago, the word Assistant was in front of my name, too. And if things were different, and Silas had still been in charge, I have no doubt that he would’ve held the fact that you’re dating a man this office recently prosecuted as a big-time strike against you. But you know what? Silas was an ass. He ran this office like a dictator, and the only thing he cared about was his public image. Whenever one of the AUSAs had an important victory, he took all the credit. If something bad happened, he let us take all the blame. Not to mention the fact that he was taking bribes from the biggest organized crime boss in Chicago and essentially tried to have me murdered—but that’s a whole other story.”
Rylann blinked. Okay…safe to say things had been a lot different under the previous U.S. attorney.
“The point is,” Cameron continued, “when I took over this office, I vowed to do two things: first, clean up the corruption, and second, be the kind of U.S. attorney that I wish had been in charge when I was an AUSA. So yes—the fact that you’re dating Kyle Rhodes is a little weird. When word gets out, are there going to be people who find it unusual that I’ve got a prosecutor dating the Twitter Terrorist? Probably. But in comparison to everything that was going on around here when Silas was in charge, I think I can handle it. We’re a team in this office, Rylann. You’re a fantastic trial lawyer and incredibly dedicated to this job. That is what’s most important to me.”
Rylann took a deep breath, feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. “You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that, Cameron.”
“You really were nervous about this,” Cameron said with a chuckle.
“It’s just that if I were in your shoes right now, I’m sure I’d be wondering why a woman in my position would choose to pursue this relationship.”
Cameron smiled. “Oh, I understand that better than you think. These things work in mysterious ways. Three years ago, an FBI agent went on national television and declared that I had my head up my ass.” She checked her watch. “And strangely, in about twenty-eight hours, I’m going to marry the guy.”
Rylann held out her hands in surprise. “Oh my gosh, I hadn’t heard. Congratulations.”
Cameron’s eyes sparkled happily. “We’ve been low-key about it. I just st
arted telling people today—I figure the cat will be out of the bag on Monday anyway, when I show up for work wearing a wedding band. Neither Jack nor I wanted a lot of fanfare. Just a few friends and family, a small ceremony, and dinner on the terrace at the Peninsula hotel.”
“That sounds lovely.”
The way Cameron’s face had lit up said she couldn’t agree more. “It’s the place where Jack and I reconnected. Sort of. Another long story.”
“Well, I won’t take up any more of your time, since you obviously have a lot going on.” Rylann stood up. “Thank you for being so understanding.”
“What can I say? You caught me in a really good mood today. If it had been last Friday, I might’ve fired you.” Cameron laughed when she saw Rylann’s eyes widen. “Just a little U.S. attorney humor. Enjoy your weekend.”
After Rylann left the office and stepped out into the hallway, she closed her eyes and exhaled.
She’d survived.
Now, she had only one mea culpa left—after that, everyone else could hear about her and Kyle in whatever ways these things inevitably came out. With that in mind, she headed down the hallway to Cade’s office. She stopped in his open doorway and knocked.
Sitting at his desk, working at his computer, Cade looked over and smiled. “Hey, you. You’re a bit early for Starbucks.”
“Got a second?” Rylann asked.
“Sure. Come on in.”
Rylann stepped inside, shut the door behind her, and took a seat in front of his desk. She crossed her legs, resting her hands in her lap. “I need to talk to you about something. And I’m warning you now—it’s going to be a little awkward. Maybe a lot awkward.”
He didn’t seem too surprised by this lead-in. “I think I know what this is about. The rumors, right?”
Rylann cocked her head. “Rumors?”
“That you and I are hooking up.” Cade held up his hand. “I swear, I had nothing to do with it.”